TWELVE 98

I woke up to a click.

I remembered having our fill of room service and then lying on the sofa with Gi Seoin, talking about this and that.

“Gi Seoin?”

When I opened my eyes, the fellow was gone. I got up in a hurry and checked the bedroom, the dining area, and even the bathroom, but I couldn’t find a single strand of hair.

For a moment, my heart dropped to the floor, but it soon grew quiet. My panic attacks had been gradually getting better lately while staying with Gi Seoin. However, I hadn’t become completely immune to being alone. Especially not in a sudden situation like this.

Still, I now had the certainty that the fellow would return, so I could wait without being too shaken.

Did he step out for a moment? I want to hear even just his voice.

Where did I put my phone…

While I was with Gi Seoin, I rarely ever looked at my phone.

I had no reason to make calls, and it wasn’t like I received contact from people often, so I couldn’t immediately recall the object’s whereabouts.

After rummaging through the luggage I brought, I discovered the phone inside the pocket of the coat I had worn here.

I looked for the fellow’s name in the call logs. When I placed the call, the ringing was cut short.

—Are you awake?

Gi Seoin, who picked up the phone, asked nonchalantly. Upon hearing his voice, the anxiety that had remained even slightly began to melt away bit by bit. My heartbeat, which had seemed fast, regained its original speed.

“Yeah. Since you weren’t here… where are you?”

—I stepped out for a moment. I’ll be there soon.

“Okay, come back quickly.”

Most things can be ordered by phone from the hotel room, so I wondered what he had gone out for. I answered with a fairly casual voice and ended the call.

It seems the click that woke me up earlier was the sound of the door closing.

I didn’t know where he went, but since he said he’d be back soon, he would. I sat at the dining table closest to the foyer and waited for the fellow.

If it had been the old me, I would have fallen into a panic immediately. It was because the shock of a precious person leaving and the fear of being left alone were deeply engraved in my mind and body.

But wounds, however slow they may be, are meant to heal someday.

Our relationship now was more solid than any I had ever experienced. Just as we had taken a long way around to reach this single correct answer, we were now given only trust, not doubt.

Inside the fence called trust that I had built while holding hands with Gi Seoin, I was regaining the peace I had lost during my childhood.

Gi Seoin returned about ten minutes after we ended the call.

“Did you wait?”

Was he surprised because I, who was sleeping without even knowing he was leaving, suddenly called?

Since he is a sensitive fellow, he might have felt a slight anxiety in my voice. I felt a bit sorry that it might have made him rush.

Gi Seoin, who couldn’t possibly know these feelings, seemed sorry toward me instead.

“You should have just kept lying down and resting.”

“No, I slept so soundly that I’m wide awake now.”

I decided not to bother telling him the trivial story of how I was momentarily anxious because you weren’t there when I opened my eyes. The fellow still had his nerves on edge regarding my panic attacks.

The fellow is returning to Cheongcheon soon. I hated the idea of him taking another leave of absence or being unable to focus on work because of me, who couldn’t even stay alone like a child.

Gi Seoin didn’t seem able to easily let go of his worry, but I was confident that if I could get through things like today, I wouldn’t have any worries in the future. There were only a few times I had found stability this quickly in a situation where it wouldn’t have been strange to reach the threshold of an attack.

Anyway, I was extremely curious about where the fellow had been.

“Where did you go?”

At my question, Gi Seoin raised his arm. Only then did I notice the box held in the fellow’s hand. Even at a glance, it was a cake box.

“Cake?”

“To commemorate the New Year.”

The fellow smiled shyly. For some reason, he seemed embarrassed about buying a cake for the New Year’s celebration. Both that appearance and the fact that he prepared a cake were cute. Besides…

“It’s a chocolate cake.”

“Whipped cream is too greasy, so I don’t like it much.”

Despite having an atmosphere as if he lived only on things like whiskey, the fact that he liked sweet drinks and desserts was seriously cute. Anyway, Gi Seoin was full of cuteness.

“Who’s a good boy? You did well.”

When I patted his bottom, the fellow smiled once more as if bashful.

“You should have woken me up so we could go together.”

I spoke while watching the fellow put the cake in the refrigerator. Gi Seoin looked back at me.

“Because you were sleeping well. It was later than I thought. I thought I could just get it right away since I made a reservation, but there were so many people.”

“You waited even though you reserved it?”

“Still, I waited less than the people who didn’t reserve.”

“I guess people eat a lot of cake for the New Year too, not just Christmas.”

Of course, if it hadn’t been for Gi Seoin, I wouldn’t have even bothered with cake on Christmas. The fellow used to bring a cake every Christmas. He’d say he bought it while ordering the cake for his family to eat together.

Back then, I would thoughtlessly say thank you and take it home to eat with my grandmother. Gi Seoin might not have thought much of it, but thinking about it now, I regret that I should have asked the fellow to eat it together.

Even for this year’s Christmas, if it hadn’t been for the kidnapping incident, the two of us could have cut the cake…

“Next year, let’s definitely eat cake together on Christmas, too.”

“Yeah. Let’s do that.”

Gi Seoin, who smiled brightly at my words, then seemed to look me over here and there before smoothing the hair stuck to my forehead.

“Was it hot while you slept?”

“Huh? Ah.”

Right after I realized the fellow wasn’t in the hotel room, did a cold sweat break out without me knowing because I was startled? I wiped my forehead.

“I didn’t know while I was sleeping, but I guess it was.”

“Do you want to shower? I’ll order room service.”

“Again?”

“Earlier was lunch, now it’s dinner.”

“Am I going to get so fat while I’m here that I’ll get stuck in the door on the day we check out and won’t be able to leave?”

“We can just call a forklift and go out through the window.”

It was funny seeing the fellow toss out such a nonsensical joke with a blunt face.

“Where is a forklift that comes up this high? We’d have to call a helicopter.”

“Then I’ll call a helicopter.”

“Alright. I’ll eat with my mind at ease. Then I’m going to go wash up.”

Wait.

Before washing, I ran to the fellow, gave him a kiss, and entered the bathroom as if running away.

“Call me if you need anything.”

“Ye-ep.”

I answered the words heard from outside the door and then closed the door.

It hadn’t been long since I became able to close the bathroom door to wash alone. I was getting better quickly thanks to Gi Seoin.

Even if we weren’t in the same space, the fellow was always by my side. I decided not to forget that fact, and I gained the courage that I could achieve anything.

Love actually made me strong. My heart, beating violently while thinking of Gi Seoin, proved it.

After showering and eating my fill of dinner in a refreshed state, drowsiness poured over me again. However, I defeated the sleepiness with the single-minded determination that I had to cut the cake with Gi Seoin at midnight when it becomes the New Year.

Even when I lived with my grandmother, I didn’t watch TV much, and Gi Seoin didn’t have a TV at his house at all, so I had no reason to see one.

We sat side-by-side on the sofa and exceptionally turned on the TV. After flipping through the channels for a while, we decided to watch a movie airing on a movie-specialized channel, with a title and cast that were unfamiliar to us.

“You haven’t seen it by any chance, have you?”

I asked with the intention of turning it elsewhere if it was a movie Gi Seoin had already seen. The fellow shook his head.

“No.”

“Me neither.”

An empty laugh burst out.

“I guess both of us have lived without watching movies.”

It made sense to think so, as there was a phrase at the corner of the screen along with the movie title: ‘A masterpiece chosen by ten million.’

“They say ten million people watched it.”

“I’ve heard the title.”

“Really?”

To think I was behind even Gi Seoin, who usually seemed interested in nothing other than lawyer work and me. Honestly, it was a shock.

“I saw it in the news. There aren’t many movies that exceed ten million these days.”

“Do you know the content too?”

“Roughly.”

“Somehow it feels unfair.”

When I muttered that, Gi Seoin looked at me.

“What’s unfair?”

“The feeling that I’ve lived without even watching a movie that everyone else has seen.”

“We can watch them from now on. We’ll go to the cinema too.”

“You’re going with me, right?”

The fellow, who wore an expression asking why I was questioning the obvious, grabbed my hand.

After the relationship with Gi Seoin shed the name tag of ‘friend,’ I developed a habit of imagining the future. A future where we do things we’ve never done before, things only lovers can do, and even things others couldn’t even imagine—all of it.

I put strength into my hand that was holding the fellow’s.

“We can take out the cake after this movie ends.”

“Let’s do that.”

There were about three hours left until January 1st.

I was idly looking at the screen when I suddenly became absorbed in the movie. After laughing, trembling, and then laughing or crying again, two hours had flown by.

“I feel like I’m left with a lingering impression.”

When I spoke while rubbing my arms, Gi Seoin’s lips twitched.

“Was it fun?”

“Yeah. There was a reason ten million people watched it. The actors’ acting was really good, too.”

“Who was your style the most?”

“Huh?”

It was a sudden question. Who was my style the most…

“Not really… They were cool because they acted well, but there was no one who was my style.”

“Just pick one.”

“Hey, I told you there wasn’t anyone.”

“Just one person.”

I thought of the characters one by one. There was an actor who had caught my eye throughout. It was a shame their screen time was relatively small since it was a supporting role.

“I don’t know the name, but you know, that friend of the female protagonist. The one who became a doctor later.”

“Ah, that woman?”

Gi Seoin was definitely still wearing a smile, but for some reason, it felt like the corner of his mouth dropped crookedly for a moment before coming back up. Was it my imagination?

“Why did you like that woman?”

No. It might not be my imagination. Gi Seoin did not look very pleasant right now. After asking it himself…