TWELVE 4

I barely managed to squeeze my voice out past a throat that felt like it had grown thorns.

“It’s not a secret, I just didn’t want you to worry. About Juseok… I only talked to him for a bit because I was a day late on the money I owe him.”

As soon as I put a period on my sentence, Gi Seoin let out a short sigh and turned his back to me. I followed him into the living room. I wasn’t exactly trailing him, but that’s certainly what it looked like.

Standing at the sink, Seoin put on rubber gloves without a word. Soon, the sound of pouring water and clinking dishes managed to clear away the silence piling up in the living room.

Just in case, I checked my phone alarms. Sure enough, the alarm I’d set for the monthly repayment date had been deactivated. I must have mistaken it for my morning alarm and switched it off.

I set the alarm again and made two more backups. There won’t be a second mistake. I didn’t know what Jeon Juseok might do if this happened one more time.

‘What’s the point of being family if we don’t help each other out?’

If only I could turn back time… I would never have borrowed money from that guy. Even if I had to die buried under a mountain of debt.

‘We haven’t really been in touch, so it’s bound to be awkward. I get it. But we can just get along comfortably from now on. Isn’t that what family is for?’

Twenty years old. I remember it clearly. It was February.

My parents left this world when I was so young I couldn’t even recognize my own name. While all my other relatives turned a blind eye, my great-aunt stepped up and took me in to raise me.

She was my parent and my only family.

On February 5th of my twentieth year, amidst the biting late-winter frost, my great-aunt finally closed her eyes—three years after her cancer diagnosis and shortly after being told she was terminal. All that was left for me was a massive mountain of hospital debt.

I still don’t regret not giving up on her treatment. Because of that, she lived seven months longer than the doctors originally predicted. To me, the fact that we could have even one more day together mattered more than how much it cost.

My only regret was taking the hand Jeon Juseok held out when I was struggling because I didn’t even have money for the funeral.

Strangely enough, a few relatives who had cut ties after my parents died and my great-aunt took me in showed up at the funeral. One of them was my aunt’s family. Jeon Juseok was her son, one year older than me.

‘You’re going through such a hard time, do you really think I could just ignore you? Huh? Seungkyung. Do I look like that kind of prick to you?’

I was already in so much debt from the hospital bills that I was drowning. No one was willing to lend money to a twenty-year-old already carrying such a heavy burden.

‘I’ll borrow it myself if I have to help you, so don’t worry. Stop crying, man.’

In that moment, Jeon Juseok looked greater than God. I had no idea he was actually a person as foul as a devil.

I had dropped out of high school to nurse my great-aunt, so it was difficult to find a job that others would consider respectable.

However, I had an exceptionally sturdy body, and I believed that as long as I did whatever work I could to pay back the money every month, there wouldn’t be a problem. I had been far too naive about the world.

What a fool…

“Woo Seungkyung.”

I am.

“Seungkyung.”

Seoin’s voice pulled me out of the swamp of regret.

“…Oh, yeah?”

“I’m going to go work out.”

I looked past Seoin. The clean dishes were neatly arranged on the drying rack, and the rubber gloves that protected his fine hands were hung up tidily.

“Are you coming back after your workout?”

Seoin nodded.

“I’ll bring back lunch and drinks. What do you want to drink?”

It was his way of saying that while I didn’t have the right to choose the lunch menu, he was giving me a choice for the drink. I asked just for the sake of it. Seoin would know what I’d drink anyway.

I winked and said playfully, “The usual.”

“Got it.”

Such a dry guy.

I feel like Seoin wouldn’t even be surprised if a war broke out or if the enemy turned out to be zombies. It’s amazing how he can react so blandly to everything. Since I have zero talent for hiding my emotions, I was almost envious.

After making sure Seoin had left, I went back to the living room, opened all the windows, and turned on the fan. Even though the mid-autumn festival is coming up, it’s still muggy.

I stood in front of the fan for a long time before deciding to wash up. I thought I’d look pathetic just lounging around since it was the weekend. Seoin works his tail off all week and still goes to work out on Saturdays.

Being conscious of him made me restless, so I pushed the shower to later and started moving. Thirty sit-ups, thirty push-ups…

“Whoa…”

This is seriously hard.

My stamina was still there, but my muscles were screaming. It was because of the places I’d injured while working. Symptoms I’d brushed off thinking they’d heal quickly had now morphed into chronic issues.

After soaking my stiff body in hot water for a while, I came out and sensed someone’s presence.

“You’re back early?”

Seoin’s hair was still a bit damp. It was proof that he’d finished his workout and shower and rushed out a bit. Though the combination of the words “Gi Seoin” and “rushed” didn’t quite fit.

As I got closer to Seoin, the pleasant scent of shampoo and fabric softener drifted over. He was wearing a white T-shirt and gray sweatpants just like this morning, but I could tell he’d changed. He was a very tidy person.

“What did you get for lunch?”

“Sandwiches.”

A sandwich and a salad box were on the table. That meant the sandwich was mine. As for the drink…

“You bought the usual, I see.”

Since the daytime temperature was high, I’d been craving a cold iced Americano. I couldn’t have been happier to see it.

“Not bad, man. Good job.”

I patted his broad back, but Seoin just went and sat across from me. Only then did I notice his own drink.

“Green tea smoothie?”

“Green apple.”

“Ayy, I guessed because it was green, but I was wrong.”

I loved coffee to the point where Seoin worried about caffeine addiction, while Seoin didn’t touch the stuff at all. He actually preferred sweet drinks. It feels just as mismatched as the combo of “Gi Seoin” and “rushed.”

Maybe sweet drinks are the only thing Seoin, the personification of restraint and calculation, can’t resist? Just as others drink alcohol when stressed, Seoin drank sweet things that would make your tongue go stiff just looking at them. Seeing that it was green apple today, I figured he was exercising some self-control.

“I worked out too, want to see?”

While Seoin ate his salad, I’d already finished my sandwich. I was habitually observing him eat when I remembered my workout from earlier. I felt a random urge to brag.

“Look at this.”

I put strength into my arm and flexed, making the muscle pop. It might have been laughable to Seoin, who had a perfectly chiseled physique, but to me, it didn’t look bad.

“Pretty decent, right?”

When I asked while tapping my bicep, Seoin suddenly grabbed my arm and kneaded it. It felt like I was being inspected. After a moment, he lowered his hand and spoke.

“You’re thin.”

“Hey! What do you mean thin? Look. You didn’t look properly, did you?”

“I saw everything properly.”

His gaze, which had been meeting mine, dropped below my chest before coming back up. Then, the corners of his mouth lifted.

“Hey, Gi Seoin… are you laughing right now? Was that a smirk?”

“No.”

Acting like it wasn’t—I already caught you.

“You laughed!”

“I told you, I didn’t.”

“You want to feel a flick to the forehead from a fist seasoned by years of manual labor?”

I raised my fist and mimicked flicking his forehead, but Seoin just kept eating his salad as if nothing was happening.

But wait…

“Anyway, since when did you see ‘everything properly’?”

Maybe the fan is old. Even though I had it on high, I was starting to sweat.

Seoin looked at me while chewing his salad, swallowed, and then opened his mouth.

“When you’re sleeping.”

“When I’m sleeping? Since when?”

“Every day. You sleep totally naked.”

He said it with a prim face and then took a sip of his green—whatever it was—smoothie. There he goes again, the only one who’s totally unfazed.

“When did I ever sleep totally naked? I just sleep with my shirt off.”

“Either way.”

“No, why are you watching a sleeping person?”

“I thought you were sleeping like that on purpose so I’d look.”

Ugh! He’s so annoying, Seoin.

“You’re the only person around to see, so what…”

“Exactly. So I’d look.”

Look at him answering back only when he’s teasing me.

And it’s a little embarrassing. No, honestly, it’s a lot…

Between guys, especially guys who’ve been friends for 18 years, it shouldn’t matter if he saw me naked. I know that with my head, but I had no way to cool down my burning face.

I’m fine stripping down in front of the older guys I work with at the sites, but strangely, it was hard to do in front of Seoin. That was why I put on a T-shirt as soon as I woke up, no matter how hot I felt.

If I had to guess, I think it started around puberty. Both exposing my bare body in front of Seoin and seeing Seoin’s bare body somehow became awkward all of a sudden.

“Woo Seungkyung.”

“…What, what is it.”

“Don’t bother sleeping with clothes on, especially since you get so hot.”

“I’m considering sleeping truly naked just so your eyes rot.”

“When you’re debating whether to do it or not, just do it.”

“You little…”

I aimed a kick at Seoin under the table. Even though his eyes aren’t on his feet, he nimbly dodged and began stacking the empty salad and sandwich boxes.

“You’re really annoying, Gi Seoin.”

“Since I’m being annoying, let me say one thing.”

“What now…”

“I’ll pay it back for you.”

Pay what?

“The debt you owe Jeon Juseok.”

…Seriously, Gi Seoin is too annoying.

We were just having a good time. That was why Seoin brought that up now. Because he was afraid I’d be fooled by my mood and agree to it.

‘I’ll pay it back for you.’

When he first found out I’d borrowed money from Jeon Juseok, Seoin had said the exact same thing without a moment’s hesitation.

‘Why would you pay that back?’

I had refused.

And several times after that.

Even now, having suffered all I’ve suffered from Jeon Juseok, the answer I’d give him hasn’t changed.

“There you go with the nonsense again. Forget it.”

It would be a lie to say I wasn’t tempted. Honestly, it probably wasn’t even that much money to Seoin.

“Why on earth would you pay that back?”

Yet, the reason I harden my heart to endure the hell that is Jeon Juseok and refuse Seoin’s kindness is…

“…Because we’re friends.”

Because I want to stay friends with Gi Seoin.

I usually have terrible intuition, but on this matter, I feel a powerful premonition.

If I ask Seoin to pay off my debt, if Seoin pays it off for me… we won’t be able to stay the way we are now.