TWELVE 89

It was the first day I spent alone after the funeral ended. It felt as if an unknown fear was chasing after me. It was especially so whenever I thought of Grandma. I fought with all my might to avoid looking at the room Grandma used as much as possible.

I tried to eat the meal Gi Seoin had gone to the trouble of preparing, but the food that was at least palatable when he was watching got stuck in my throat and wouldn’t go down now that I was alone. Just as I was about to clear the table and get up, my mobile phone rang.

Is it Gi Seoin?

However, the name that appeared on the screen was different from my expectation.

[Juseok hyung]

Only then did I realize that I hadn’t properly contacted hyung even once during that time. To think I had borrowed money and then disappeared without a word. My heart pounded as if I had committed a great crime. I quickly pressed the call button.

“Hyung, I’m sorry. I haven’t been able to contact you because I’ve been out of it.”

I babbled without even offering a greeting. In return, a laugh came through.

—Woo Seungkyung, you punk, I thought you were dead. Are you okay?

The hearty laughter and the rough yet somewhat affectionate tone melted my tension, while my apology and guilt grew larger.

“Yeah, a bit… I’m still adjusting. Since I’ve always lived with Grandma, being alone feels awkward.”

—Then are you alone right now? At the house where you lived with great-aunt?

“Yeah.”

—Can I come over?

“Now?”

It was sudden, but there was no reason I couldn’t. Because I was scared to be alone, it was actually a grateful thing if hyung came over.

—Yeah, now.

“There are no buses here, so it’ll be hard to get here…”

—Hyung has a car, you brat.

Didn’t he say he was a college student? I was envious and also relieved that he had a car.

After sending the house address to Juseok hyung, I worried for a bit and then changed my clothes. It felt more like a guest was visiting rather than family, so I was reluctant to greet him in a casual appearance. The psychology of not wanting to look miserable despite having received help from hyung also played a part.

Hyung, who said he would be there soon, arrived after about 30 minutes. As soon as I heard the car engine, I went outside.

I am ignorant about cars, but I could tell at least that the car hyung drove was a foreign car.

“It’s killer, right?”

Noticing my gaze lingering on the car, hyung smirked.

“It’s cool.”

“You punk. You might be a kid, but you have an eye for cars. I’ll take you for a ride next time. If we blast through the night view of the Han River once, whew… you won’t be able to forget that feeling either. But…”

Hyung craned his neck past me and looked at the house.

“Is this the house?”

“Yeah.”

“Isn’t it going to collapse?”

“Fortunately, it’s never collapsed before.”

After trading jokes, I opened the front door, and hyung hesitated for a moment before entering the foyer.

“The inside is more spacious than I thought. You lived here with Grandma just the two of you?”

“Yeah. It’s a bit empty since there’s not much here, right?”

While hyung looked around the inside of the house, I prepared water and fruit. If Gi Seoin hadn’t bought fruit and left it here, I might have served him nothing but a glass of water.

“Is this Grandma’s room?”

“…Yeah.”

At hyung’s question, I reflexively looked that way and then turned my head. Soon, I felt hyung’s presence close by.

“What’s wrong?”

“Huh? What is it?”

“Is there something over there?”

“No… It’s just still hard for me to look at Grandma’s room.”

“Always such a weak-hearted male brat.”

Tsk, clicking his tongue, hyung sat down in front of the small table where the fruit was set out.

“Is there no alcohol?”

“There isn’t any… and hyung, you brought your car.”

“What does it matter? It’s fine if I just wet my throat.”

The fact that Juseok hyung was a good person had already been proven, but in areas like this, it was appalling. Is it because hyung’s personality is so boisterous and I am on the timid side that I feel that way? Still, it was a bit unsettling to hear him speak of drunk driving as if it were nothing.

However, there was no alcohol anyway, and the time with hyung was quite pleasant even without being drunk. Hyung told me stories of a world I could never belong to, and it was as interesting as a movie or a drama.

While listening to stories and losing track of time, hyung suddenly changed the atmosphere and let out a low groan.

“Hmm… Hey, Woo Seungkyung.”

“Yeah?”

“You have to organize the belongings, right?”

The words ‘organizing the belongings’ didn’t register in my head right away.

That’s right. After a family member dies, those were the things that had to be done.

“I’ve never thought about it…”

“What do you mean you’ve never thought about it? You have to. Leaving Grandma’s things will only make you think of her more and get depressed, and then won’t you just be collapsed like an idiot again?”

There wasn’t a single point I could argue against. In fact, I was in a state where I couldn’t even properly look at the door to Grandma’s room. Even if it had only been a few days since the funeral, it was extreme.

“I suppose… I have to.”

“Let’s do it since we’re talking about it.”

“Huh?”

“Let’s do it now. Do it while I’m here. I originally grew up precious so I don’t do unpleasant work, but I’ll specially help you.”

But, although I agreed with hyung’s words, today was not the day. It was too early. Just a bit more, even if it were out of lingering attachment, I wanted to be with even the traces of Grandma for just a few more days.

“I could do it later…”

“It has to be today or not at all. I’m damn busy.”

However, hyung was adamant.

“If it’s hard, just stay collapsed in the living room. I’ll roughly clean it up.”

“No, I’m really fine. Hyung. Just the thought…”

“Thought or whatever. It’s because I can’t stand to see you slumped like this, damn it. Are you going to keep defying me without even knowing your hyung’s heart?”

When hyung spoke that far, I could no longer refuse any further.

∞ ∞ ∞

I was certain it was that day.

If the bankbook in my name that I didn’t know about was a legacy left by Grandma, and if Jeon Juseok stole it, there was no other day but that one.

But there were still points of wonder. Even though Grandma knew that her treatment had almost been interrupted several times because of money during her struggle with the illness, and even though she knew that I had eventually had to go into debt, why did she hide the existence of that bankbook?

“…I’ll come back next time.”

After speaking to the bank clerk, I almost bumped into someone as soon as I turned around. Looking up at the familiar silhouette, it was Gi Seoin.

“Woo Seungkyung. What’s wrong?”

“That’s…”

Because it felt like I would burst into tears unsightly, I bit my lower lip. Gi Seoin didn’t ask further and took me back to the car as if supporting me.

He didn’t start the engine and just looked at me quietly. It seemed like he was waiting for me to calm down.

While chewing over that time, which was the darkest period of my life and the starting point where my life got properly twisted, I covered my face. A warm hand landed on my back.

After catching my breath, I removed my hands from my face and looked at Gi Seoin.

“Seoin-ah.”

Gi Seoin had an expression that said he was ready to listen. Then again, no matter what story I told him, he would listen to anything sweetly as long as it wasn’t a notice of a breakup saying I was leaving him. It had been that way since a long time ago. As if I were anyone special.

“In this bank… they say there’s an account under my name. But, it’s an account I never made. In that account…”

Thinking about it once more, my breath caught.

“In the account, there was, about 100 million won…”

Gi Seoin’s calm expression gradually distorted.

“Someone, they say, withdrew all that money.”

“…”

“In the year Grandma passed away.”

After the day Jeon Juseok turned everything upside down saying he would help organize Grandma’s belongings, I bitterly regretted that I hadn’t been able to check which items were being thrown away because I lacked the courage.

By the time I became able to properly look at Grandma’s room, when I stepped into the room, as I picked up the scattered items to organize them again…

I know. My fault is also large. I was so stupid that I trusted Jeon Juseok, and I was pathetically weak so I surrendered to sadness. That’s why I handed over the important things to Jeon Juseok’s hands.

“But I think it’s…”

But even so…

“I think it was Juseok hyung.”

A person shouldn’t be like that.

Jeon Juseok.

I sincerely hoped that my suspicion would end as just a ‘suspicion.’ I didn’t have the confidence to handle the truth that I had been so cruelly betrayed by a person I had trusted for even a moment. I didn’t have the strength to shake off that much anger. I didn’t have the guts to forget that wretched feeling of betrayal.

“Seoin-ah.”

“…”

“What do I do?”

In the end, the tears burst out. This time, I didn’t hold back, I didn’t try to win, and I leaned into Gi Seoin. If I didn’t, it felt like I would go crazy. I had to be in my right mind. Only then would I be able to face the things Grandma left me with dignity.

Gi Seoin hugged me with all his might. He cradled the back of my head and pressed his lips to my forehead.

“It’s okay, Woo Seungkyung.”

He said that while holding me fully.

“Cry as much as you want.”

It wasn’t like him, who always used to tell me not to cry.

“Ugh…”

“As much as you’ve cried, I’ll make you laugh.”

Those words made me cry out loud.

I really wanted to stop crying now. That’s why I cried more. I cried as much as I could cry. I cried with my whole body. It felt like I had to squeeze out every last drop to be able to never shed tears again.

Gi Seoin accepted all those tears of mine. Even though he got completely soaked because of me, his embrace was cozy. Perhaps I became stronger through that warmth.

The moment the tears stopped, I raised my head and said to him.

“Seoin-ah… Let’s go.”

To the house of Grandma and me, where we haven’t been able to go for months.