TWELVE 18

“My ideal type is…”

The guy suddenly cut himself off and just stared at me.

“What? That’s suspicious. Is your taste quite unique too, Gi Seoin?”

“It is unique.”

“What is it? I won’t tease you.”

After hesitating once more, Gi Seoin finally parted his lips.

“You already know my ideal type.”

“Me? I don’t know.”

“You do.”

“What are you talking about? Have you ever mentioned it?”

No matter how much I thought about it, I had never had a conversation with Gi Seoin about ideal types. It didn’t even make sense to discuss ideal types with a guy who recoils at the mere mention of romance.

“Aren’t you confusing me with someone else you talked to?”

“No.”

“What do you mean, no? Ah, how frustrating. I said it’s not meee. Just tell me, your ideal type.”

“I told you, you already know.”

“I told you, I don’t! You’re just doing this because you don’t want to say it. It’s unfair that I’m the only one talking!”

I threw a tantrum, squirming despite the shoulder pain. Gi Seoin just kept his mouth shut and chuckled. His level of obnoxiousness had exceeded the limit.

“Fine, the world is unfair anyway…”

Knowing he wasn’t the type to tell me just because I begged, I decided to give up quickly. Continuing to be curious would only annoy me, and asking repeatedly would only make my mouth sore.

Furthermore, I felt like hearing Gi Seoin’s ideal type would only make me feel gloomy. Because I could never be that kind of person.

“Gi Seoin is a stupid mutt.”

“I’ve been demoted from a poop-puppy to a mutt.”

“Don’t misunderstand. They’re actually the same thing.”

Spouting nonsense like that made my mood soar instantly.

“But how long has it been since we’ve been like this?”

When we were young, we often lay side by side like this to chat. On the slide of the neighborhood playground that belonged to neither where Gi Seoin lived nor where I lived, on the wooden platform of the senior center, on the grass of a sparsely populated park…

I couldn’t remember exactly what we talked about, but the feeling of pure joy still remained in my heart.

“We used to be like this every day when we were little. It was so comfortable, wasn’t it.”

“…”

Ah, I remembered. Back then, Gi Seoin wasn’t much different from now. He was taciturn, and I usually babbled on alone. For some reason, I think I wanted to tell him everything. He was that kind of person. Because he would just listen quietly no matter what I said.

My mind was peaceful, as if a fragment of past tranquility had paid a visit. The autumn sunlight warmed my face, the fan breeze was cool, and Gi Seoin’s presence filled me in this moment.

“Ah, I’m sleepy.”

“Sleep.”

“If I sleep on the floor, my back will ache…”

Sleepiness washed over me.

I ended up sleeping for a long time, more than just a nap. It was a sweet sleep I hadn’t had in a while. It was thanks to Gi Seoin, who managed to move me into the blankets.

It was the sixth day of living under one roof with Gi Seoin. Even when he suddenly declared a week-long cohabitation, it felt desperate, but now I felt a deep lingering regret that only one day of his leave remained.

We ate, exchanged meaningless jokes, and slept to our hearts’ content. We also watched boring movies flowing from the TV at dawn, strolled through our neighborhood where cats now outnumbered people, and bought a ton of snacks to eat all day. We laughed like fools the whole time.

During the past six days, I was thrown back into memories where I was closer to laughter than tears, and even though I lived in reality, I dreamed the whole time. Only ‘now’ existed for us. Even the wall of the past, piled layer upon layer between Gi Seoin and me, was torn down, and the future where you and I must eventually find our respective directions was forgotten.

In one day—no, actually in twelve hours—I would have to step out of ‘now’ and return to the ‘present.’

“Seoin. Are you going to go straight to work from here tomorrow?”

Gi Seoin nodded. A sense of relief embraced me. In just six days, I had lost the courage to face the night alone.

“It’s already tomorrow…”

Gi Seoin watched me. Worried that he might have caught a glimpse of my frustration, I put a firm expression on my face.

“Doesn’t it feel like time passed really quickly?”

“Should I rest for another week?”

“Do you want to become poor like me?”

“I won’t become poor just by resting one more week.”

It was a fact that was incredibly obnoxious and so enviable it brought tears to my eyes.

“Argh, I’m so jealous!”

I bumped my forehead against Gi Seoin’s shoulder. Then, he wrapped his arm around my head as if to hug me. I relaxed my body and leaned against him.

Having been stuck together for a week, even slightly cringeworthy physical contact became natural. Even though I thought it was undignified since I’ll be thirty the year after next, I concluded this was fine since we did even more than this when we were little.

“Hey, Gi Seoin. Do you remember that?”

Thinking about it made a silly laugh leak out again.

“You and I kissing.”

“…”

“I guess you remember since you’re not answering.”

I shifted only my eyes to sneak a look at Gi Seoin. He was staring into space as if retracing a memory.

“Do you remember or not? You do, don’t you? Hmm?”

Seeing his lips merely twitch without denying it, it was certain he remembered.

“Why aren’t you saying anything. Are you embarrassed, by any chance?”

A strong impulse to tease Gi Seoin rose up.

“Mister Seoin, am I your first kiss, by any chance?”

“…”

“Oh my, it’s me, it’s me. I took Mister Seoin’s purity!”

“Don’t do that.”

“Whyyy, since we’ve already done it once, shall we try it one more time?”

I puckered my lips. Gi Seoin pulled his head in the opposite direction. He seemed quite averse to it. Seeing him look disgusted made me want to tease him more.

“I feel like if Mister Seoin gives me one kiss, my illness will be completely cured.”

“I told you not to do that.”

“Whyyy, do you dislike me? I’m quite popular elsewhere too…”

Smack.

This was not a sound that came from my mouth. No, it was. To be precise, it was the sound generated as my lips and Gi Seoin’s lips collided.

“Gah!”

I distanced myself from Gi Seoin in an instant.

“What, what did you do?”

“You said to do it.”

Shamelessly, he spoke without even a change in expression.

“Even so, you actually did it?”

“Because you said you felt like your illness would be completely cured if I did it once. Well, are you cured?”

“As if I’d be cured!”

I wiped my mouth with my wrist. Even though it was for a split second, the sensation of his lips felt like it was stuck to me like a sticker. It was warm and moist.

“Gi Seoin, are you… a psycho?”

“Why, are you embarrassed? Am I your second kiss, by any chance?”

Gi Seoin threw my own words back at me. I tried to tease him but got hit hard instead. My startled heart throbbed. As he said, it was the second kiss of my life.

“Uaaah! My second kiss…”

“Since we’ve already done it once, the second time doesn’t matter anyway.”

“Shut up!”

“It’s fine even if it does matter.”

He curled the corners of his mouth up. It was maddeningly obnoxious. But what made me even crazier was…

“A third time is possible if you want.”

The fact that Gi Seoin’s face, as he smiled while teasing me, was so beautiful.

If it were anyone else, I would have thrown a punch, but I couldn’t even bring myself to touch that face recklessly. I was the only one feeling wronged. Even though I was the one who played the prank first, it was only possible because I didn’t think he would actually act like this.

This was a situation completely opposite to the past.

It was just before graduating from elementary school. I was slowly entering puberty, but Gi Seoin was still like a baby until then. He was pale, small, and a crybaby.

‘Seoin. Why are you crying? Hmm?’ 

‘Sniff…’

Gi Seoin cried that day too. Since he started shedding tears out of nowhere as soon as he met me, I struggled to comfort him somehow.

‘Why are you crying. Who did it? Should I scold them? Just say the word!’

The problem was that he wouldn’t tell me the reason and just cried until his eyes were red and swollen. I even felt a sense of challenge, and a strange mission to make him stop crying arose.

‘Gi Seoin! If you keep crying, I’m definitely going to kiss you!’ 

‘Hiccup, sniff…’ 

‘Will you stop if I kiss you?’

At that, Gi Seoin looked at me and quietly shed thick streams of tears. Even then, Gi Seoin was pretty.

‘You’ll stop if I kiss you?’ 

‘Sniff, sniff…’

Gi Seoin nodded his head very, very ambiguously. Thinking about it now, it might have been heaving from crying rather than nodding. Anyway, I took that minute nod as a sign of consent and immediately pressed my lips against his.

Back then, Gi Seoin’s lips were hotter and softer than they are now. But I was too young to savor such impressions at the time.

Surprisingly, Gi Seoin, who had been pouring out tears for over an hour, stopped crying immediately after the kiss, and I was busy being intoxicated by the sense of success in comforting him.

“And I’m sorry, but…”

Anyway, that cute crybaby…

“I wasn’t my first kiss.”

Has grown into such an infuriating adult.

“What! Then which number was it!”

“I can’t count.”

It was a lamentable situation.

“Because every adult I met wanted to kiss me because I was pretty.”

“Oh, Lord! Here is a fallen lamb. Please grant him salvation…”

I made a show of praying with only my healthy right hand clenched. Since it was a half-baked prayer, it didn’t seem like I would actually receive salvation. Gi Seoin, with his angelic face and fallen soul, seemed more delighted than ever before.

Well, it can’t be helped. If he’s happy, that’s enough.