TWELVE 40

I was struggling and groaning, unable to do one thing or the other, when Gi Seoin approached. I jerked my head up and asked:

“Are you done with the dishes already?”

“Yes.”

“That was fast!”

I knew my tone sounded unnatural, but I had no other choice. Finding a way to break through this crisis was more important than anything. My brain was working harder right now than it ever did during school exams. But then…

“You should wash up.”

Oh, no…

I hadn’t found an answer yet, but Gi Seoin brought it up first.

“Oh, r-right. I should wash… Then do you want to wash first?”

There is a proverb that says it is better to take a beating first, but right now, I wanted to postpone the coming crisis as long as possible.

“You wash up first.”

“Huh…? Is there a specific reason why I should?”

“I’m going to get wet anyway while washing you, so it’s better to do you first and then I’ll wash.”

That guy—as expected of a lawyer, he’s logical. I couldn’t find anything to counter him with. It was a disaster.

“Let’s go.”

Gi Seoin strode over and pushed my wheelchair. I shouted urgently:

“Where are we going!”

“The bathroom.”

Right, I’d have to go to the bathroom to wash.

I entered the bathroom helplessly as Gi Seoin led the way. I didn’t even know what I was thinking, but my head felt so full it was about to explode. My heart thudded as if I had encountered a murderer.

Gi Seoin came in front of me and knelt down. I looked him in the face but soon dropped my gaze to the floor.

“I’ll take your clothes off.”

“…Uh, okay.”

I had mastered the technique of changing clothes while lying in bed at the hospital, but at this moment, I was sitting in a wheelchair. This too shall pass—I had no choice but to endure with that sentiment. It wouldn’t be a big deal once it was over anyway. Wasn’t it similar the first day Gi Seoin slept at my house?

Gi Seoin’s fingertips pulled up the hem of my T-shirt, and I lifted my good right arm. The T-shirt, having slipped past my right arm and head, passed my surgically repaired left shoulder and was completely removed. Perhaps because the bathroom temperature was lower than the living room, goosebumps broke out across my exposed upper body.

Next were the pants and underwear.

For a split second, Gi Seoin’s eyes met mine.

“Can you stand up for a moment?”

I felt like he would catch me trembling if I answered, so I only nodded.

Gi Seoin supported me under my armpits and waist and slowly raised my body. Accordingly, I stood up, pressing my good foot against the floor.

“Put your arm around my neck.”

Gi Seoin spoke. I hesitated before hooking my right arm around the nape of his neck. In this position, it looked as if we were embracing tightly.

I subtly widened the gap so my bare chest wouldn’t touch his. I felt like he would notice my rowdy heart if our chests met.

Gi Seoin lowered the hand he had placed on my waist. We both knew where his fingertips were headed. There was no helping the way strength surged into the toes supporting me on the floor.

Soon, the moment Gi Seoin hooked his fingers into my waistband and pulled down, I felt not just my toes but my entire body stiffen hard with tension. I only hoped that Gi Seoin wouldn’t notice my stupid reaction.

The next moment, both my pants and underwear fell to my feet.

“Stay still.”

Having given that instruction, Gi Seoin lowered his body and suddenly picked me up in his arms.

“Hold on tight.”

I lowered my head and hugged Gi Seoin’s neck more deeply. Both of his palms were in full contact with my skin. It felt as if those spots alone were burning. Even though I didn’t want to be conscious of it, all my senses were directed toward his fingertips.

Gi Seoin placed me into the bathtub as carefully as if he were handling fragile porcelain. I still couldn’t lift my face.

Holding the showerhead, Gi Seoin turned on the water. After checking the temperature by putting the stream against his palm, he spoke:

“Tell me if it’s cold or hot.”

The stream of water poured over my body, and the temperature was appropriately warm.

“Tilt your head back and close your eyes.”

I did as I was told. The water that had been warming my body fell onto my head. Gi Seoin ran his hands through my hair to make sure it was soaked through. It was a very gentle touch. My heart couldn’t settle down at all, thinking about the fact that he was looking at my naked body.

“I’m going to shampoo you, so don’t open your eyes.”

Even if he hadn’t said it, I didn’t intend to open them. Since I couldn’t cover Gi Seoin’s eyes, I felt like I should at least close mine.

It wasn’t a new experience, as Gi Seoin had washed my hair many times at the hospital. It’s just that the fact that I was naked felt like a new experience.

After massaging my scalp meticulously for a while, Gi Seoin splashed a little water on my face. It seemed he intended to get rid of the foam.

“You can open your eyes now.”

Thinking it might look strange if I kept them closed, I lifted my eyelids and lowered my head at the same time. At that, Gi Seoin pushed my forehead up slightly.

“If you tilt down like that, the foam will run.”

“…Mm-hmm.”

Why haven’t scientists invented a shampoo that doesn’t run? If such a shampoo existed, I wouldn’t have to worry about my eyes stinging while washing, and I could have effectively ignored Gi Seoin right now.

I looked at Gi Seoin’s face for the first time since entering the tub. He had an expression no different from when he was cooking for me or reading a book. How can he be so nonchalant? Or was I just being too sensitive…?

Come to think of it, Gi Seoin had that same face even when he saw me with just a single towel wrapped around me at my house. To him, showing each other our naked bodies might be no big deal. Since we are both men, if anyone was being weird, it was me for making such a fuss.

Letting my thoughts flow like water, I felt like I was becoming okay at some point. I tried not to act like a fool and fixed my gaze on Gi Seoin’s face. It felt like I could briefly forget the fact that I was naked as long as I only looked at him.

Gi Seoin, who had produced lather on a shower ball with a quite serious air, suddenly jerked his head up and looked at me.

“…”

“…”

Forget it, my foot.

I dropped my eyes diagonally. Gi Seoin grabbed my right wrist and lifted it. The shower ball traveled back and forth along my arm. The foam remaining on my skin shimmered with rainbow colors before popping.

“Leave your left arm still.”

Gi Seoin reached out and gently washed my left arm. It was obvious he was being mindful because it was the painful area. It felt like he spent twice as long washing it compared to my right arm.

“Can you lean your waist forward?”

Instead of answering, I leaned my upper body forward.

The shower ball swept down from the nape of my neck to my waist. He scoured every part except for the left shoulder I had surgery on. When the shower ball suddenly invaded my side, I flinched significantly. I hoped Gi Seoin hadn’t noticed.

“You can straighten your waist now.”

At those words, I sat upright again, and Gi Seoin naturally brought the shower ball under my chin. From there to the shoulder blades, the chest…

Again, the side. And the belly button. The stomach.

The pelvis.

“U-um, Gi Seoin.”

I called out to him hurriedly and said:

“I think I can wash the other parts myself.”

Thinking about it, my right arm was perfectly fine, wasn’t it? As for the lower body, I could easily wash it myself even in a sitting position. I put my hand on the shower ball Gi Seoin was holding.

But he wouldn’t give me the shower ball.

Startled, I looked at him.

“I said I’ll wash myself?”

“Will you be okay?”

What kind of question is that?

“Of course I’ll be okay.”

I pulled on the shower ball. Unlike before, Gi Seoin let go of the shower ball, stood up, perched on the edge of the tub, and looked down at me.

“Are you going to watch like that?”

“Don’t mind me and just do it.”

“Mind…”

I was about to say, ‘How can I not mind?’ but I kept my mouth mostly shut and pretended to hum.

“I’ll nooot miind and waaash myseelf cleeean.”

This is truly shameful. Not the nudity, but myself for feeling embarrassed.

I started applying foam to my skin while keeping my legs together as much as possible. It felt like Gi Seoin’s gaze was moving along with my hand. I couldn’t tell what it was actually like because I couldn’t bring myself to check his face. Therefore, everything besides my own actions was happening based on my imagination.

To wash my thighs and the back of my knees, I had to lift my legs, and inevitably, a gap formed between the thighs I had worked so hard to keep together. I tried to think that I was alone.

But my brain betrayed my efforts and created a different scene of its own accord. A scene of Gi Seoin meticulously washing my legs played in my mind.

Just as he did when washing my upper body, Gi Seoin would rub my legs with a very serious face and delicate touch. Foam would be left like a trail on my skin where his beautiful hands passed. Strangely, the foam, possessing a hot temperature, would cover my toes, calves, and thighs, and eventually invade the secret place. A place that no one but me has ever touched…

My neck burned as if I had been doused with hot water again.

Stop.

I commanded myself and swallowed hard. In the meantime, my hand, which had been moving out of habit, reached the area between my thighs.

The area that was just a part of my body became strange. For a moment, I imagined the sensation of Gi Seoin’s soft palm landing on my center. My lower abdomen grew heavy in an instant, and I hurriedly took my hand away. At the same time, I reflexively checked Gi Seoin’s expression.

Just as the version of him in my head had done, Gi Seoin was shifting his gaze, following my fingertips. With a persistent look that felt impossible to shake…

No.

Pretending to wash the inside of my thigh again, I pinched the tender skin underneath. It hurt enough to bring tears to my eyes, but it was quite effective in snapping me back to my senses.

I wonder what kind of show this is, but anyway, should I say it’s a relief that I avoided the situation where Gi Seoin washes my private parts? What is he thinking right now while looking at me? Since he habitually tells me I’ve lost weight, does he think I’m skinny? He wouldn’t think I’m pathetic, would he?

Surely he didn’t have… an imagination like mine.

No, why do I have to be conscious of Gi Seoin while washing my lower body?

A needless sense of defiance arose, so I gripped the shower ball as if to crush it and rubbed my skin vigorously. Look if you want to. Look as much as you want. It’s not like what I have isn’t also attached to… him. Haven’t I seen it before? Our biological sex might be the same, but he was a different race than me.

I’m not one to be intimidated anywhere, but what on earth did Gi Seoin eat while growing up to turn out like that? Could it be that one of his ancestors was a foreigner…? Ah, of all things, why am I thinking these kinds of thoughts even when I try to think of something else?

Falling into self-loathing, I finally washed meticulously down to my toes and then held out the shower ball to Gi Seoin again.

“Finished… Here.”

Gi Seoin stood up as he took the shower ball. Grabbing the showerhead and turning on the water again, he checked the water temperature and called my name, “Woo Seungkyung.”

“…retty.”

“Huh?”

Because he muttered so quietly, it was buried under the sound of the water and I couldn’t hear it.

“What did you say?”

However, Gi Seoin acted as if he hadn’t said anything, raising his eyebrows as he washed away the foam that had settled on my body.