TWELVE 55

I entered an unused room and locked the door. I tried and tried to empty my head while staying completely alone, but my racing emotions did not settle easily.

The same thought kept coming to me.

What did I do so wrong that I had to be treated that way by Gi Seoin and suffer this much?

The thing that pained me most was that I simply could not understand the reason Gi Seoin was angry. He was always like this. He explodes in rage without explanation and backs a person into a corner. He expects me to do exactly as he wishes while omitting any explanation that I could find convincing. He is purely self-centered.

The room, left abandoned without a purpose, had no bed or blankets. I lay down on the floor however I could. Since it felt like a loss to me the more I thought about it, I picked up my mobile phone. I intended to find something that would let me escape from these emotions currently tormenting me.

Happily, there was a missed call from Yoon Kijun. He probably contacted me after hearing the news that I had suddenly gone home. Kim Hyunwoo did not seem like a person with a loose tongue, but I was inwardly worried about how much he might have said.

I called Yoon Kijun. The call connected before the ringing tone could continue twice.

—Seungkyung, are you okay?

Seeing as the first thing out of his mouth was “Are you okay?” as soon as he picked up, he must have heard something.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

I regretted not clearing my voice a bit before answering.

“I’m sorry for dropping out suddenly. Did Mr. Hyunwoo go back there?”

—Yeah, he came. I heard you left saying something urgent suddenly came up, so I called to see if anything was wrong.

As expected, it seems I didn’t misjudge the person. I wondered if there would be an occasion to meet him again, but if I do see Kim Hyunwoo once more, I feel like I should at least offer words of thanks. And an apology is a must.

‘Let go. I have to at least say goodbye.’

‘What for.’

Thinking of Gi Seoin, who had dragged me away while openly ignoring Kim Hyunwoo, made me feel dizzy again.

“I didn’t accidentally ruin the fun while you guys were playing, did I?”

—The atmosphere is pretty much wrapping up. Everyone’s physical strength doesn’t hold up anymore.

Yoon Kijun loaded a laugh onto the end of his words.

—But you really are okay, right?

“Don’t worry. Just…”

I tried to make an excuse like “because my body suddenly felt unwell,” but I closed my mouth. I didn’t want to lie.

While I hesitated over my next words, Yoon Kijun spoke again.

—Your voice is really, not great.

“Is it? It’s not.”

—It’s not because of that person, is it?

“That person… ? Ah.”

I realized the fact that Yoon Kijun knew about Gi Seoin. Since a person who was having a great time and had even promised a second round suddenly returned home saying something came up, it was a situation where he could sufficiently think of Gi Seoin.

—That’s it, then.

I couldn’t say it wasn’t. I just bit my innocent lip.

—Did he do something to hurt you because you drank with other people? He’s that kind of human, isn’t he.

“That’s…”

—You’re not in a difficult situation, are you?

A sense of concern settled deeply into Yoon Kijun’s voice, which had been quite bright at first. At this point, I had to tell a lie.

“It’s not like that… . I thought I was at a point where I could go outside, but I guess the recovery isn’t complete yet. The place where I had surgery suddenly hurt. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you because I didn’t want to worry you needlessly.”

—Ah, so that was it? It’s not exactly a relief, but it’s a relief.

“What kind of talk is that? Are you drunk?”

I laughed while asking playfully to change the atmosphere.

—Aiyee, I don’t get drunk on just this much. But… ah, it’s really a shame. Shall we see each other separately? Would you have time?

“Uh? I have the time, but…”

—If it seems like you can’t go far, I can go toward where you are. No, I’m starting movie filming now.

“Ah, right. Has it already come to that?”

—Time flies, right? Anyway, so since I won’t be able to see you even if you return to Benwood.

Yoon Kijun was ahead of his official debut as an actor. He said he would quit Benwood once filming started for the movie he decided to participate in as a supporting actor. Since we were an acquaintance made at Benwood and always worked together, I naturally made the mistake of thinking I could see him again anytime if I went to Benwood.

“… Right. Then we should see each other. Won’t you be busy? When does filming start?”

—It starts next Wednesday. Since I only work at Benwood until Saturday, let’s see each other if you have time in between. I’m fine anytime.

“Then I’ll…”

While speaking, I glanced at the locked room door. I was conscious of Gi Seoin, who would be beyond it. It felt like the guy might overhear the conversation and throw a tantrum asking where I was going. It also felt like he might suddenly appear at the place where I was meeting Yoon Kijun and get angry out of the blue.

“I’ll check the time and contact you.”

—Yeah, let’s definitely see each other.

“Yes. You’re going home now?”

—Yeah, yeah. The owner is paying right now. Booyah, I got a free meal.

“Congratulations on the free meal, and get home safely.”

—Right. You also rest well. Since taking care of your body comes first, definitely speak up if it seems like too much.

“I got it, thanks.”

After the call ended and I put down the mobile phone, I exhaled all at once the sighs I had swallowed several times.

Even though I knew it was a nonsensical thought, a certain question mark kept popping up in my head.

Do I have to get permission from Gi Seoin just to meet Yoon Kijun?

The question ‘Why should I?’ followed, but I wavered as if Gi Seoin was holding onto my ankle with an invisible hand.

Even more, since I had promised a relationship more than friends with Gi Seoin, I even reached the thought that I should compromise to some extent, even if his anger and stubbornness were preposterous.

I like Gi Seoin, and I didn’t want to fight with him. That heart made a fool out of me… .

Knock, knock.

At that moment, my shoulders jumped, startled by the sudden sound of knocking.

“… .”

I stared at the closed door as if looking at Gi Seoin, who was beyond it. Dry saliva passed down my scratchy throat.

Since the guy also seemed firmly angry, I thought there wouldn’t be an occasion to run into him at least tonight. However, only about an hour after I left the study, he came looking for me.

I didn’t know for sure, but he must have come because he had something to say to me. My head is still complicated, but has Gi Seoin already settled his emotions? Since he is a guy who is frighteningly cold when he is cold, I think it’s entirely possible.

I opened the room door without even having thought of what to say when facing him.

Gi Seoin, standing in front of the door, had a miserable look. My face probably wasn’t any different.

“Come out.”

Contrary to his expression, the guy’s tone was coercive. It wasn’t that different from earlier, so for a moment I wondered if I had opened the door for nothing.

“Why?”

“Sleep in the bed.”

“I’m not going to sleep yet.”

As if the threshold were a landmine that would explode if stepped on, I had not yet taken a single step out of the room.

Gi Seoin’s brow twitched.

“You have to take medicine, and you need to wash up too.”

“I’ll take care of it.”

“… Seungkyung.”

He calls me with a voice that sounds as if he is suppressing his anger by mobilizing all his patience. Just what did the guy have so much to endure? After getting angry regardless of whether other people were there or not.

Gi Seoin, who swept back his hair while scattering a sigh, looked straight at me.

“Do I have to apologize?”

What kind of unfunny question was this again?

“If I say so, will you apologize?”

“Yes.”

Gi Seoin answered while even nodding his head obediently. After acting like he was going to devour me, he says he’ll apologize if I tell him to. I wanted to look into that head of his.

Just what are you thinking. I still haven’t even understood the reason the guy was angry.

“First of all… I haven’t properly heard why you were angry, and I can’t accept that you just spoke however you wanted while getting angry without even explaining the reason.”

The guy’s sigh that fell to the floor this time was fainter than before. The guy, who lowered his head and then raised it… faced me with watery eyes.

“Did I, again, hurt you?”

Was I hurt?

I was angry, but I wasn’t hurt. I think so. I couldn’t be certain. So I shook my head.

“No.”

Because if I said Gi Seoin had hurt me, it felt like the guy would be hurt instead.

“Rather than that, you made me angry.”

“Then… it’s fine.”

The guy hesitated as if he had become a completely different person from before.

“While I was going to pick you up, I saw you getting out of a taxi with that man, just the two of you.”

“… Yes.”

I tried to listen to his voice calmly with my arms crossed.

“I thought you’d say goodbye soon and call me, so I opened the window and waited for you.”

Right.

“Then I heard what that bas… man said to you.”

It was exactly as I had expected.

“That’s why I was angry. I wasn’t in my right mind to the point where I couldn’t even think of your position or feelings.”

While speaking, the corners of Gi Seoin’s eyes became redder and redder, and now even his eyeballs were bloodshot.

Was he holding back tears? If he were to cry, I was curious about the reason.

“I’m sorry.”

Because he was sorry for getting angry at me? Or because his anger still hadn’t subsided? Because it was unfair?

“I won’t get angry like that anymore. So…”

Gi Seoin reached out his hand. He grasps my wrist. There was almost no strength in it, but the feeling of being handcuffed was deep.

“Don’t stay in the room alone and things like that. Don’t try not to see me. Don’t… be disappointed in me.”

Having finished speaking, the guy bowed his head so deeply that his face couldn’t be seen. It was a sight like a child who had done something wrong and was seeking forgiveness from an adult.

I am really something too.

Those broad shoulders looked infinitely weak.