TWELVE 26

[Cho Jiwon, Owner of Benwood: Mr. Seungkyung, I’ve sent your pay. The first salary from our bar haha. Thanks to you, the atmosphere at Benwood has improved, and I feel so reassured. I look forward to working with you in the future too! See you tomorrow. Nighty night! ☺︎]

As soon as I read the owner’s message, I opened my bank app with a fluttering heart. I couldn’t help but tilt my head at the amount deposited under the owner’s name. It was because more money had been deposited than the promised salary. Thinking he might have made a mistake in the calculation, I hurriedly called him to let him know.

—Haha! It wasn’t a mistake; it’s a bonus.

The owner laughed heartily and left a touching, famous quote: “If I accidentally give you more next time, just pretend you didn’t notice and spend it. I’m rich, you know.” I said okay as a joke, but of course, I don’t have the guts to actually do that.

I was already deeply grateful just for the salary I was supposed to receive, so receiving a bonus on top of it made the owner feel like an angel. My mood soared to the heavens.

They say a crisis can be an opportunity, and my situation was exactly like that. Right after I injured my shoulder, the future looked bleak, but if that accident hadn’t happened, I would never have become a Benwood employee.

As soon as I thought about what to do first with this money, paying back Gi Seoin came to mind. But… recalling yesterday made me hesitate to contact him.

[Mr. Seoin. I look forward to our time together. —Cha Minyoung] “I said I’m going home!”

The contents of the letter I saw by chance, my voice shouting at Gi Seoin, and Gi Seoin’s confused expression swirled and mixed together in my head.

However, a promise must be kept. I couldn’t abandon the proper duties I ought to perform just because of yesterday’s events and my personal feelings.

Since it was after work, it was nearly 4:00 AM, but I sent a message to Gi Seoin anyway.

[Do you have time tomorrow by any chance??] [Want to eat together?]

Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever been the first to suggest a meeting to him very often. When we were younger, I used to drag the quiet Gi Seoin here and there, but after becoming adults, the roles were reversed.

As I entered my twenties, I was destitute of both time and money. Consequently, my heart became narrow, and I sometimes found Gi Seoin—who kept suggesting we do something—to be a burden. All he wanted was just to have a meal together.

Despite being that way, when Gi Seoin started dating, instead of congratulating him, I felt a sense of betrayal. I even troubled him by prioritizing emotions I couldn’t even explain to myself. I am not a good person. Especially to Gi Seoin.

But the person named Cha Minyoung, whom Gi Seoin is meeting, is different. I only saw her in passing, but she suited Gi Seoin quite well. She had the financial power to give luxury gifts, and judging by the letter, she knew how to express her intentions in a mature and simple way.

Above all, she is the person chosen by Gi Seoin, who never even brought up the word “dating.” She must be close to perfect—no, a perfect person.

If I meet Gi Seoin tomorrow or whenever, I should apologize. You were flustered because I acted strangely at your house, sorry. The reason I did that was…

I can’t explain the reason.

I don’t know myself either. Lately, I feel like I’m not myself. I just shudder at the fact that I was such an emotional, selfish, and even cowardly human being.

The phone vibrated. I shifted my gaze from the black ceiling toward the light. I was startled to see the name on the screen.

[Seoin]

A call at this hour?

As soon as the question arose, I realized I had sent a message a few minutes ago. I pressed the call button.

“Sorry. Did I wake you?”

—I woke up because it was time to wake up.

“Ah…”

Then again, he was someone who woke up when others were in the middle of sleeping, so it wasn’t a surprise. Even during the week we spent together, Gi Seoin always woke up before me, went to exercise, and prepared breakfast.

“Aren’t you tired?”

—I’m fine. Why aren’t you sleeping?

“I was going to sleep soon. On work days, my days and nights are a bit flipped.”

—That’s why I don’t like you working at night. Change jobs once your shoulder gets better. Actually, getting enough sleep is how your shoulder heals quickly…

“Gi Seoin is nagging again.”

I reflexively grumbled and chuckled, then stiffened my lips. Because Gi Seoin was looking after me, I momentarily felt good. I felt sick of myself for that.

“By the way…”

I brought up the story from the message again.

“Is your time okay tomorrow?”

Gi Seoin paused for a short moment.

—Don’t you work tomorrow?

“Yeah. I thought if our times matched up after you get off work and before I go to work, we could grab a quick bite.”

—I’ll finish work at 5:00 and go to your house.

This time it was an immediate answer. I waved my hand, even though Gi Seoin couldn’t see me.

“I have to head out to go to the bar anyway, so let’s meet outside. I’ll go near your office. Do you know a good restaurant?”

—Shall we go to Jeokyeon? You like it there.

‘Jeokyeon’ was a high-end Chinese restaurant I used to go to often with Gi Seoin. Since I intended to buy the meal tomorrow, I couldn’t help but recall the price list there. Even for the two of us, it would easily exceed my monthly food budget. However, compared to the money Gi Seoin spent on me, it was a trivial level.

“Sounds good.”

—I’ll make a reservation. 5:30.

“Okay. I’ll be there by 5:30.”

Having finished the business, I hurriedly ended the call under the pretext of going to sleep.

Will I be able to avoid acting strangely in front of Gi Seoin tomorrow? I was anxious because I couldn’t trust myself. It’s the first time I’m buying a meal, so I must not ruin it. I want to properly convey my gratitude to him. Nothing more, just gratitude, thoroughly excluding other emotions…

∞ ∞ ∞

I barely managed to get some sleep. I slept for exactly five hours. Still, it was a time when Gi Seoin would be in the middle of working. I didn’t want to just roll around at home for no reason, so I moved much more diligently than usual. I went jogging, washed up, ate, took my medicine, and started preparing to go out early.

The unexpected obstacle was having nothing to wear. I have no interest in clothes. To me, clothes were simply things that covered my body in summer, kept me warm in winter, and just needed to be clean.

Yet, out of nowhere, I was bothered by my clothes. The T-shirts I had been wearing just fine until the day before yesterday looked tacky, and my pants felt no different from rags.

Work on the site didn’t require important clothes, and the bar gave me separate work clothes, so I hadn’t felt the need to buy any.

But why on earth am I thinking this now?

I was anxious that I might look pathetic in Gi Seoin’s eyes. A regret also rose that I hadn’t taken care of myself more than this. If I had lived a life less shabby than this, wouldn’t he worry about me less? Couldn’t we have lived as a healthier pair of friends?

I came to the conclusion that I had to buy clothes.

Shopping… honestly, it was an extravagance driven by my mood. Even though I knew it, I opened my wallet. It was better to spend money than to look miserable to Gi Seoin. Since I had just received a bonus, it wasn’t money I couldn’t spend.

“I haven’t seen those clothes before.”

The sharp-eyed Gi Seoin realized they were new clothes as soon as he saw me.

“Did you buy them?”

“Uh, yeah. My clothes were all worn out.”

“Are you sure you’re the one who picked them?”

Of course not. While I was standing there hesitantly, the employee picked them out diligently for me.

“Why? Do they not suit me?”

“No, they suit you, but they don’t seem like your taste.”

I underestimated Gi Seoin. I guess he wasn’t just sharp-eyed. I bought them because the employee praised them, saying they looked good, but they were actually far from my taste.

I preferred neutral colors and plain designs that I could wear anytime. But the clothes I bought today were relatively flashy. The shirt I’m wearing now even has a color. It was light blue.

Gi Seoin said they suited me, but once he mentioned it, I felt uncomfortable, as if I were wearing clothes I shouldn’t be wearing.

This is why a person shouldn’t do things they don’t usually do. Feeling embarrassed, I kept my eyes down and busily moved my chopsticks.

When dessert came out as the last course, I took out the envelope I had kept in the inner pocket of my jacket. As I pushed it forward slightly, Gi Seoin furrowed his brows.

“What is this?”

“The money you lent me. I got my paycheck. That’s why I bought clothes too, and I withdrew the money to pay you back.”

I talked on and on because I thought Gi Seoin would say he wouldn’t accept it. Even so, he had a displeased expression. I added:

“I promised to pay you back. You told me to pay you back too. Take it quickly.”

“…Forget it.”

“What do you mean forget it? I said take it.”

“Buy the meal with that, then.”

“I was going to buy the meal regardless. This is separate.”

“Seungkyung.”

Gi Seoin let out a sigh.

Based on the current atmosphere, it was the same as a situation where I had incurred a debt and wasn’t paying it back.

“No, I’m saying I’m paying back borrowed money, so why are you like this?”

“I can’t take it. Just buy the meal with it.”

After that, Gi Seoin kept his mouth stubbornly shut.

Gi Seoin probably doesn’t know how much that act of ultimately refusing money he ought to receive crushes my pride.

Following his words, I paid for the meal with that money.

“It’s almost time for work, I’m going.”

“Woo Seungkyung…”

Gi Seoin tried to say something, but I turned my back as if I hadn’t heard. If I were a better person, I would have spoken first before he opened his mouth. That I want to be an equal friend to you, that I’m happy to be able to pay you back because of that, and that I would be sad if you didn’t accept it…

Even if I buy an expensive meal and wear new clothes, I cannot become a person who suits Gi Seoin. As the time I spent facing him grew longer, that fact became even clearer.

So I run away. I had to move away before more of my rock bottom was revealed.

A call came from Gi Seoin, but I didn’t answer. Upon reaching the door of Benwood, I turned off my phone altogether.

Then about two hours must have passed.

The moment I spotted Gi Seoin entering the bar, I thought he had finally found this place and stormed in because I hadn’t answered the phone.

However, it didn’t take a second to realize that was purely my delusion.

He was with a woman.