TWELVE 20

The feeling of being utterly alone was one I hadn’t felt in a long while. My consciousness sharply recognized the arrival of loneliness. Perhaps since the passing of my parents, or more definitively, since my great-aunt passed away, solitude had been my greatest enemy and an object of terror.

The reason I clung to work was to pay off my debts, and to forget the loneliness. When I was alone in this house, I felt as though I was falling into an endlessly deep well.

Even if I struggled, I could not escape that well. My voice became an echo and vanished before reaching the ground. Enveloped by the fear that I might disappear without anyone ever finding me, panic would set in.

I raised my body. I didn’t want to soak in dark sentiments any longer. The sense of solitude, in the form of pitch-black water, had already risen to my ankles. I had to flee somewhere.

Suddenly, a name flashed in my mind, and I placed a call. Thankfully, the call was connected before the first ring even ended.

—Oh, Mr. Seungkyung. I didn’t expect you to call so soon.

I opened my mouth breathlessly, like a castaway shouting for rescue.

“Owner, do you have some time right now?”

—Of course. Shall we meet at my shop? If it’s hard for you to come here, we can meet nearby.

“I will go there.”

Immediately after finishing the call, I fled from the house that felt like a cage of wild beasts at this moment.

Since the owner had asked me to contact him when I arrived, I sent a message one stop before getting off the bus. The owner, who had stated his house was on the floor below the bar, had arrived before me. He welcomed me like an old friend.

“Have a seat. I’ll give you something to drink first. Do you like cocktails? If you don’t drink alcohol, we have non-alcoholic options and coffee too.”

“I like alcohol, but I’m taking medication right now.”

“Aha, that’s right. Then what shall I give you?”

Since I was a novice regarding cocktails, I chose a safe answer.

“Could I ask for a coffee?”

“Certainly. Many kinds of coffee are possible. Is there a coffee you like?”

“Just… an Americano would be fine.”

“Iced?”

“Yes, that’s good.”

Since my chest had felt stifled since I was at home, I thought it would be better to drink something cold. Come to think of it, I completely forgot about the lunch box Gi Seoin had made. I didn’t even realize I was hungry.

If that guy sees the lunch box is still there when he comes over, he’ll be disappointed…

“Mr. Seungkyung.”

“Yes… Yes!”

“Do you put in sugar or syrup?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“What if the beans aren’t to your taste? Try it for now.”

“I will enjoy it.”

Among drinks, I liked Americanos the most, but I didn’t know enough to judge the flavor. Worried that the owner, who even cared about the beans, might ask for my thoughts on the taste, I rolled my brain while feeling slightly nervous. I had the experience of praising Gi Seoin’s cooking for a long time, so it wasn’t difficult. However, the owner didn’t ask how it tasted.

The owner sat down with a drink of his own, a mysterious liquid that changed colors from orange to green.

“Did you drink much when you weren’t taking medication?”

“Not often, but I occasionally drink beer. I can’t drink much though.”

“I see, you’re more of a beer person than a soju person.”

“That’s right, I really can’t drink soju. Ah, Owner. By any chance, do you have to be good at drinking to work at a bar? My tolerance is really low…”

The owner waved his hand.

“No. Among our staff, there is a friend who doesn’t drink alcohol at all. The atmosphere here is such that customers come alone or drink only with their companions, so they don’t offer any to the bartender, and there are almost no occasions to drink at all.”

“That’s a relief. Actually, I was a little worried.”

“Haha, I think that’s understandable.”

“Owner, are you a good drinker?”

“I just like it, I’m not good at it. So I caused a lot of trouble when I was young.”

“What kind of trouble?”

“This is a crazy story, when I was twenty-two? Twenty-three, around then…”

I laughed sincerely while listening to the anecdotes of the trouble the owner caused while drunk in his youth. My heart, which had been trembling with anxiety, became much more at ease. I felt that I had done well to come here.

“You haven’t ever been like that, right, Mr. Seungkyung? For some reason, you seem like the model student type.”

“I’ve never caused trouble, but I wasn’t a model student at all.”

“Weren’t you the type of student who was good at studying, good at sports, and very popular?”

“I was bad at studying; I was just a plain student.”

“Oh come on, I’ll believe you were bad at studying. But you weren’t plain.”

The owner smiled and pretended to glare at me.

“If you are plain, Mr. Seungkyung, then what are other people? If your modesty is excessive, it’s a problem, Mr. Woo Seungkyung.”

“Haha. It really wasn’t modesty… My best friend is truly handsome.”

As soon as I said it, I thought, ‘Oops.’ Mentioning Gi Seoin here was unnecessary and disrespectful to him.

“Anyway, I think I’m… a liiiittle better than plain.”

I hurriedly changed the subject as naturally as I could, but as soon as I saw the owner’s shining eyes, I was certain it wouldn’t work.

“Is that friend that handsome?”

“Ah, yes…”

“Is it just because he’s your friend, or do others say the same?”

“Yes, I suppose…?”

“What is that friend doing now? Is he not looking for work, by any chance? Can’t you bring him here?”

“What? Ah, he works. He’s probably working right now.”

“What a shame. You must bring him along to hang out next time, okay?”

I laughed awkwardly instead of answering. As long as I kept the fact that I decided to work here a secret from Gi Seoin, I wouldn’t be able to keep the promise to bring him.

If by any chance I become able to confess honestly to Gi Seoin later, things might change… but that probably won’t happen.

This time, I threw out a completely different topic with the definite purpose of diverting the conversation. Fortunately, it worked.

The owner was a person who had many interesting experiences and was talkative at the same time. Since I, who usually played the role of the chatterbox when with Gi Seoin, became the one listening, it felt fresh.

“…Wow, it’s already time to prepare for the opening?”

While listening to the owner’s episodes from a total of 21 years in America, several hours vanished in an instant. I didn’t know what time the bar opened, but I was also surprised after checking the time.

“What time do you open? I’ll help you.”

“At 9:00 PM. But I can’t make you work after asking you to come play. You should head out, Mr. Seungkyung. I talked too much, didn’t I? I’m sorry. You must be tired from listening.”

“No, it was really fun. Please tell me the rest of the stories next time.”

“What should I do. I really like you so much, Mr. Seungkyung.”

The owner gave me a thumbs-up. Even while hurrying with the opening preparations, he came out to the door to see me off.

“Mr. Seungkyung.”

It was the moment I was about to bow my head in farewell.

“Yes?”

“I really wasn’t going to talk about work today… Mr. Seungkyung, you said you were in a state where you could do some light work, right?”

“Yes, I think it would be fine as long as it’s not something where I have to use strength. I even got permission to take off the brace for a while.”

“Then, do you want to come to our shop and just respond to customers and learn cocktail recipes for now? For customer response, skip the serving and just try taking orders. Cocktails are difficult if it’s your first time, so consider it studying in advance. Since your body isn’t fully recovered yet, how about three days a week?”

From the moment the owner said the first word, I suppressed the urge to shout ‘Of course!’ As long as I could work, it was a situation I was nothing but grateful for.

However, I thought it would be better to check one more time first. Based on what I felt while listening to the owner’s colorful past today, there was a possibility he made the offer impulsively due to the temporary favor he felt for me. Since he was a good person, I was cautious because I didn’t want to create a situation that would cause hard feelings.

“Would that really be okay? I’m very grateful, but there are many restrictions, so I think there will be more parts that are inconvenient for you. And for the people working with you as well.”

“It’s an internship. Companies hire people who are unskilled as interns to teach them and assign them easy tasks first, right? You can think of it as exactly like that. Don’t worry about the friends you’ll work with. If they bully you, I’ll scold them. Haha, I’m joking. They are all handsome, pretty, and kind, just like you, Mr. Seungkyung.”

“Ah…”

“You think I only look at faces? I look at character too.”

The owner, who smiled broadly, whispered while covering one side of his mouth with his palm.

“I’ll still give you the salary as promised.”

“Ah, since it’s an internship, I think you could reduce the salary for now…”

“I don’t want to. Negotiation over. So, are you going to work or not?”

I nodded my head in a slightly dazed state.

“Yes, then… when should I start coming in?”

“Since it might be hard because we’re busy on weekends, how about Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday?”

Among the words the owner laid out, there was nothing for me to refuse. I expressed my gratitude several times.

I ended up earning money unexpectedly. Even though there were only three days of work, it was enough for me to live on considering the salary. Above all, I can pay back the money to Jeon Juseok.

The world that seemed to be strangling my neck until a few hours ago now felt like it belonged to me. All the signs hanging in the night street looked like stars.

Ah, what would Gi Seoin be doing.

I wanted to share this happy news, but I didn’t have the courage to tell the truth. But wouldn’t it be okay to at least mention that I found a place to work?

Since he said there was a family gathering today, would he be having dinner with his family?

I held my phone while standing still on the street for a moment. For once, Gi Seoin had left neither a message nor a missed call. Since he was with his parents, it might be difficult for him to contact me. Should I leave a message first…

“Ah.”

At that moment, a passerby hit my hand, and the phone slipped from my grasp.

“Ah, ah, I’m sorry.”

The pedestrian apologized in a cold tone and went on his way. Looking at his gait, he seemed drunk. Perhaps because my mood was so uplifted, I didn’t feel very angry.

“It’s okay.”

It was as if I was talking to myself, but I spat it out belatedly toward the passerby’s back.

Then, I immediately ended up frowning.

In the direction the pedestrian had gone, there was Gi Seoin.

I am confident that I can find Gi Seoin even among millions of people. It is definitely Gi Seoin. And yet, I cannot call him out. My lips won’t part.

‘I can’t come over this evening.’

I dropped the phone I had picked up once again.

‘My parents asked me to come over.’

Gi Seoin was alone with some woman.