TWELVE 46

[Jeon Juseok: Hey little brother haha]

Hey, ‘little brother’?

It was the most absurd message I had ever received from Jeon Juseok.

[Jeon Juseok: How’s the body? Hahaha. You gotta give birth quickly so we can grab a drink, right? Along with your friend. Haha.]

Even with my short education, I knew the common sense that it should be ‘get better’ rather than ‘give birth’. To think he’s preparing for law school at that level; the reason he hasn’t been admitted yet was obvious. Regardless, I got goosebumps because this was an uncharacteristically friendly contact from Jeon Juseok.

[You’re doing well too, hyung?]

[I’ll go to the bank on Saturday morning and send the money… I’m sorry.]

Since he was a guy who wanted nothing but money from me, I figured saying this would be enough.

A reply came.

[Jeon Juseok: Send it whenever~ Take your time. Hahaha.]

Did this guy eat something wrong?

Or maybe the real Jeon Juseok got drunk, slipped, and disappeared, and a completely different person was pretending to be him. If not, there was no way to explain his strange attitude. They say if a person suddenly changes, they’re about to die. I wondered if that time had already come.

[Yeah… thanks for being considerate, hyung.]

Even as I said I was thankful, I felt extremely uneasy. What kind of scheme was Jeon Juseok trying to pull now? It felt so bothersome that I thought I should send the money even earlier than the promised Saturday.

I had just come out of the hospital. Rubbing my stiff shoulder after the treatment, I called out to Gi Seoin.

“Seoin-ah. Let’s stop by the bank before we go home.”

“Why the bank?”

“To get my card reissued. I tried to do it through the app, but I don’t think it’s working.”

“Just use my card, don’t get a new one.”

“Huh?”

“One, two, three, and up you go.”

What did I just hear?

I decided to argue after getting into the car first. Following Gi Seoin’s count, I put strength into my good leg and climbed in. The first few times, he had picked me up and sat me in the car, but I had strictly warned him that I would get in myself when we were in places with many watching eyes. Gi Seoin might be used to it, but I found the stares of people uncomfortable.

After Gi Seoin also got into the driver’s seat, I spoke up quickly.

“Let’s stop by the bank.”

“Didn’t you hear me earlier? Use my card.”

Gi Seoin’s stubbornness began. I quickly found an excuse that could break him immediately.

“No. I only use debit cards.”

“Then I’ll give you a debit card.”

“Don’t you not have a debit card?”

“I have one.”

“No… I have to pay off my loan anyway, so I have to go to the bank regardless.”

“Leave it. It’ll be paid out automatically.”

“What do you mean, paid out automatically?”

“I already sent money to your account.”

The words didn’t come out immediately.

“How, how much did you send…?”

“I put in enough so that your loans will be repaid properly even if you don’t work until you’re fully recovered.”

“You don’t even know how much my debt is.”

“I filled it enough so there won’t be a problem regardless of the amount, so stop worrying about it now.”

Gi Seoin stubbornly drove past the branch where the bank was located. And then…

“If there’s anything you want to eat, shall we pick it up to go?”

I guess we can stop by a restaurant.

“Did you really send money to my account?”

“I really did, of course. Is there nothing you want to eat?”

I felt like I should sneak to the bank while Gi Seoin was at work. I was thankful he was thinking of me, but I couldn’t accept an amount of money that would leave me without worries until my rehabilitation treatment ended. Knowing me as well as he did, I found Gi Seoin as irritating as I did grateful for deciding things on his own.

“Seungkyung-ah. What you want to eat…”

I let out a sigh and said:

“Army base stew?”

“Let’s do that.”

Gi Seoin turned the steering wheel skillfully. The food I wanted was always more or less the same, and Gi Seoin knew those menus and restaurant locations inside out.

“I’ll go pick it up. Wait here.”

“Yeah, hurry back.”

Leaning against the car window, I watched Gi Seoin walk into the restaurant. After he disappeared from view, I watched the pedestrians passing by. Perhaps because it was a neighborhood filled with offices, most people looked like office workers. Everyone was different, but no one stood out as much as Gi Seoin. Naturally…

Just then, Gi Seoin came outside. Even though he was walking while holding a bag containing the stew, he looked like he was in a photoshoot. People who had just finished their meals, people smoking in corners, and everyone passing through the parking lot stole glances at him.

“I wonder whose son he is, he’s so handsome…”

Even though I hadn’t contributed anything to Gi Seoin’s looks, I was feeling strangely proud.

Suddenly, Gi Seoin stopped and looked down at a woman who had spoken to him.

They seemed to know each other. From where I was, I could only see the woman’s back, so I couldn’t tell if she was one of the people he had been with before. Then again, since I had only seen them in passing, I probably wouldn’t know even if I saw her face.

Gi Seoin, who was talking to the woman, cast a glance toward my side for a split second before looking away. Soon, he parted ways with the woman and returned to the car.

“I got it uncooked. I’ll boil it for you at home.”

To Gi Seoin, who was acting as if nothing had happened, I asked:

“Who was that just now?”

“Someone I know.”

It might have been my imagination, but it seemed like Gi Seoin’s mouth flickered as if he were flustered just before answering.

“You have your seatbelt on, right?”

“Yeah, I do. But who is ‘someone you know’?”

I was worried I’d seem obsessive, but I couldn’t just let it go. Even if we hadn’t asked each other to date yet, we were in a relationship where we’d even kissed, so I figured I could at least ask that much. I even thought I had enough justification since I had witnessed him on dates with several women.

“Just someone I knew briefly.”

Gi Seoin seemed like he didn’t want to talk about that person. I felt unbearably annoyed.

“Someone you went on a date with?”

At my question, Gi Seoin opened his lips wide before closing them and answering slowly.

“…No, it’s not like that.”

“I think it is.”

“It really isn’t.”

“You can just tell me.”

No, just tell me honestly.

I had just realized that I could no longer stand Gi Seoin hiding things.

“It’s not like I’m completely unaware.”

“Seungkyung-ah, it’s not what you think.”

Gi Seoin spoke in a soothing tone. It made me feel unpleasant because it sounded as if I were simply misunderstanding. After how many times I’ve seen and heard things.

“Then what is it?”

“…Sigh.”

Gi Seoin let out a rare sigh.

“Let’s go home and eat, and then we’ll talk.”

Did he mean it was such a significant story that he needed to set aside time? It also meant Gi Seoin was no longer trying to hide it, but my mood didn’t improve at all.

My appetite, which hadn’t been great since the moment I heard Gi Seoin put money in my account, had now completely vanished. Even while eating at home, I couldn’t taste the army base stew. My head was fuller than my stomach.

What if Gi Seoin was lying? Even if he didn’t tell the truth, I had no way of knowing. I just had to believe him. But would I be able to?

It hit me that we had lost trust before we even properly began. Gi Seoin might have had his own reasons, but for now, I felt resentful toward him.

“Okay, now tell me.”

Fiddling with the teacup Gi Seoin had set out, I spoke up, feeling like I didn’t need to hold back anymore. Gi Seoin let out another sigh. He had a face that looked quite troubled. If he were honorable and I were truly misunderstanding, there would be nothing to be troubled about.

Tap, tap, tap…

Gi Seoin, who had been tapping the table with the tip of his index finger, stopped and finally moved his lips.

“The women you saw, they were people I only met once.”

“What… like a one-night stand?”

“No, absolutely not.”

So Gi Seoin does get flustered. Dropping his gaze, he rubbed his smooth forehead.

“I’ve never even thought of such a thing.”

“Then what do you mean, you only met them once?”

For a moment, I thought my interrogating self looked bad, but I couldn’t help it.

“It will sound like an excuse, but…”

Gi Seoin seemed to be choosing his words more carefully than ever. Was it to prove his innocence, or to avoid hurting me? Either way, I didn’t welcome it.

“I went to those matchmaking sessions because my parents wanted me to.”

And the situation of his that I finally heard was an even less pleasant story.

“Matchmaking…?”

“Excellent academic achievement, social success, and a marriage that fits their interests. These are the three things my parents want from me.”

Marriage.

Right. I had always assumed that at some point, Gi Seoin would marry someone who suited him. It was the reason I had stubbornly denied my feelings for him. Because even if I were lucky enough to be linked with him, we couldn’t go as far as marriage, and Gi Seoin might need the institution of marriage.

I didn’t want to start a relationship that definitely had an end. I didn’t have the confidence to endure a scheduled heartbreak. I considered even staying as friends more than I deserved.

However, our feelings never dried up, and they became helplessly intertwined. I believe that was the case.

I decided to listen further before blaming him.

“You went on match-dates with all those women?”

“Yes.”

“Could you not refuse?”

“It might be hard to understand, but…”

Gi Seoin, who always stared at me to a burdensome degree, avoided my gaze for this moment. He said:

“I thought if the failures continued, my parents would eventually give up, and that would be a better way than a direct refusal.”

Now Gi Seoin meets my eyes.

“I was cowardly and I hurt you. I’m sorry, Seungkyung-ah.”

“…Yeah, honestly, I was hurt.”

Since I told Gi Seoin to show me his whole heart, I intend to reveal this petty emotion without hiding anything either.

“Thinking ‘who am I to feel this,’ I still felt a sense of betrayal from you. I was jealous too. I just… resigned myself, thinking the time had come. Though in the end, I couldn’t completely give up either.”

A hollow laugh escaped me as I thought of my past self.

“It would be a lie to say I’m fine now. So what I really want to know is…”

I wanted Gi Seoin to face me directly. As if my stubbornness had been conveyed, he no longer turned his gaze away.

“Could something like that happen again in the future?”

“No, never.”

Gi Seoin shook his head immediately.

“What if your parents tell you to go on another match-date?”

“That won’t happen. I already told my parents.”

Gi Seoin spoke calmly. As if he were reciting what he did yesterday…

“To live as strangers from now on.”