TWELVE 60

“It’s done.”

Withdrawing the words she was about to say, she turned her gaze back to her son.

“Your father is waiting. Come home sometime.”

At that, Gi Seoin opened the front door instead of answering. Gi Seoin’s mother stared at the guy and slightly narrowed the space between her eyebrows. It was a minute movement that was difficult for others to read, and it was an expression I had often seen on Gi Seoin.

Walking down the hallway, the mother stood still directly in front of Gi Seoin as if confronting him.

“Stop being so stubbornly persistent and come when you are told to come.”

It was an extremely elegant tone, but to me, it sounded like a growl.

“You should know when to stop. At this rate, you’ll end up with nothing, you.”

Then, Gi Seoin lifted one corner of his mouth slightly before letting it drop.

“To go so far as to visit in person, what were you so desperate for?”

“You child.”

“I think we’ve both done enough to each other by now.”

“Seoin.”

“Please leave.”

“…”

Her lips fluttering, the mother looked back at me once more.

“Fine. Since there is a guest, let’s end it here.”

At that, Gi Seoin pointed toward the outside of the door with his palm without a word, like a receptionist escorting a client.

The guy’s mother moved her feet with an air that suggested she still had plenty left to say. As soon as she stepped out, Gi Seoin closed the door without a hint of lingering regret.

“… Are you okay?”

When I asked, Gi Seoin approached and buried his face in my shoulder. I patted the guy’s back. Soon, Gi Seoin lifted his head and, holding my cheek fully in his palm, met my gaze and spoke.

“I’m sorry. You were surprised, weren’t you.”

“A bit… . But it’s okay. I think you must have been more surprised, anyway.”

“This kind of thing won’t happen a second time.”

“Yeah. But are you, truly okay?”

To shake off my anxiety, I toyed with the edge of his sleeve with the tips of my thumb and index finger.

“Don’t you need to go to the main house? Your father is waiting… .”

“Whether he waits or not.”

The guy took my hand that was toying with his sleeve and interlaced our fingers.

“I don’t care.”

“Might it be that he has something important to say?”

“That’s why, I don’t care.”

Gi Seoin led me by the hand he held softly. Right after he sat me down on the sofa, I instinctively felt that the guy had something to say.

Instead of sitting on the sofa, Gi Seoin sat down on the floor near my knees. Since I usually looked up at the guy, having it reversed felt like a fresh sensation. Whether looking from below or above, his handsomeness was just the same.

“Seungkyung.”

The guy rested his head on my thigh and looked at me.

“Don’t go anywhere.”

“Where would I go?”

I gently brushed back the hair that covered the guy’s eyes.

“There’s nowhere to go.”

“Even if there is a place to go, don’t go. Stay with me.”

It was a voice mixed with a spoiled whine. I wondered if he had been surprised since his parents, whom he had declared a break with, had burst into the house.

The guy is human too. It’s just that he doesn’t show it; weaknesses clearly existed. He gets hurt and he gets worried. He reveals a side he hasn’t shown before and demands that I embrace him.

I liked that. Because it felt like proof that I am a special person to the guy.

“Right, right. Our Seoin. I’ll stay with you. Don’t cry.”

“I wasn’t crying.”

“That’s a shame.”

“Is it a shame because I didn’t cry?”

“Yeah, because I’m weak to you crying. Your crying face is pretty… .”

I wondered if I shouldn’t have said this, but since I had already spat it out, I couldn’t take it back. It seems like the screws in my head are falling out one by one as the time I spend stuck to Gi Seoin increases. Perhaps my self-control is disappearing because words that don’t seem like they’d come from my mouth are jumping out, and even though we are this close, I want to get closer and all that.

“Then should I cry?”

“You have a pretty smiling face too, so smile. If you cry, you’ll lose your energy.”

“But, was I weak to you crying?”

“Yeah.”

When Gi Seoin cries, I become unable to think about anything else other than the thought that I have to comfort the guy. It wasn’t because of a special reason; it was like that from the beginning.

Indeed, with that pretty face, thick teardrops fall one after another; is there really a person who could turn away?

“I didn’t know.”

“Why wouldn’t you know? Even the first time I spoke to you was when you were crying.”

Ever since the first digit of his age changed to a 2, Gi Seoin acts as if his tear ducts have dried up, but when he was young, he was the type to pour out tears at the drop of a hat. That might be why I came to have an exceptionally strong attachment to the guy.

“Ah.”

As if remembering that day, Gi Seoin opened his mouth slightly and then smiled broadly.

“I’m glad I cried.”

“Don’t cry on purpose because of that, though; only cry when you truly want to cry.”

“I will.”

“Aiyee, good boy. Our puppy.”

“Stroke me more.”

He must have liked me playfully stroking his hair. The guy thrust his head toward me as if he were truly a puppy. Since I also like touching the guy’s soft hair, I willingly did as commanded.

“How is it, customer?”

“I feel good… .”

Gi Seoin muttered languidly. The meal with Yoon Kijun was enjoyable, we had a peck on the way back, and a kiss in the parking lot… . Although there was a surprising incident in the middle, still, today was a truly decent day. This moment alone was enough for it to be worth remembering that way.

“Shall we take a nap or something?”

Since I felt as if sleep was starting to pour in while being like this, I asked just in case.

When Gi Seoin stayed at my house for a few days, the time the two of us spent napping was my favorite. It was because I could be together with the guy and I didn’t have to worry about anything. It felt like the peace that wasn’t permitted to me became entirely mine for that moment.

“Shall we.”

“Let’s do that.”

When I lay down long on the sofa and patted the empty space next to me, Gi Seoin clambered up with his long body. Even if the sofa was on the wider side, it was insufficient for the two of us to lie down.

I pressed my back further against the backrest and pulled Gi Seoin toward me. The guy caught on and stuck even closer to me. Pulling me fully into his embrace, putting his legs between mine and interlacing them… .

“You, aren’t you uncomfortable?”

“No.”

I’m uncomfortable, though.

Not my body, but my heart.

Even while sleeping in one bed every evening, we had never interlaced our legs like this. It’s not even like we’re kissing, but it was difficult to breathe. I felt as if Gi Seoin would notice how nervous I was with a single breath. I absolutely didn’t want to get caught for how much of an impure imagination I had just now.

“Seungkyung.”

“Uh, uuh… .”

“Are you hot?”

“No, a bit, why?”

“Because you feel hot.”

Gi Seoin, with an expression of knowing nothing, placed his hand on my forehead.

“You don’t have a fever, at least. But if you feel like you’re not in good condition, tell me.”

“Yeah, I will… .”

It feels like my mental state, not my body, is not in good condition. My nerves kept being focused toward my groin area where the guy’s knees were touching, and blood rushed to my head. Perhaps that’s why I keep having strange imaginations.

Even while kissing Gi Seoin, I consciously tried not to think about the next step. Somehow it felt like I shouldn’t.

Should I call it guilt. After I unknowingly had such and such an imagination, I couldn’t look the guy straight in the face. I felt like a gaze of contempt would return, calling me filthy.

Right. I don’t know why, but the Gi Seoin inside of me had an image like a monk. Does he drink alcohol, or does he smoke… . Adding to that, since he doesn’t even bring up the word “dating” in daily life, I naturally could only guess that he would be conservative in sexual matters too. Since we haven’t even had a conversation on such a topic, I haven’t even had a chance to clear up this misunderstanding that isn’t quite a misunderstanding.

Furthermore, the Gi Seoin I know is the type to not hide it if there is something he wants. If the guy had wanted a physical relationship with me, it felt like he would have made it obvious long ago. Didn’t he even do the first kiss actively?

However, seeing how he hasn’t brought up the topic regarding the bed until now, there was a high possibility that he has no intention of doing it at all. His sexual desire could be significantly lower than others, too.

Also, since he is a guy who is so clean that he is often suspected of having mysophobia, even if he likes me, it was plausible that he might have a sense of rejection toward mixing bodies with another person.

Wait a minute.

By any chance… could Gi Seoin not have said the words to go steady because he didn’t want to do it with me?

This was truly a difficult problem that I couldn’t even ask about. The sleepiness that had been encroaching on me vanished at once. Even while thinking I shouldn’t reach a conclusion by myself, my mood sank. Further and further down. To the floor.

I thought my heart would just be refreshed once I confirmed my feelings, but it was a complete delusion.

When Gi Seoin said he liked me, my heart grew bigger and my greed inflated. And my thoughts, worries, and anxieties only deepened by that much. Yet they were only problems that I couldn’t even open up about to the guy who is closer than anyone.

This state of mine was so unsightly that I wanted to run away somewhere.

After confirming that Gi Seoin was closing his eyes, I carefully moved the guy’s arm and pushed his legs away. At that, the guy’s eyes snapped open.

“Seungkyung… . Where are you going?”

“To drink some water.”

“I’ll bring it to you.”

I pressed on the chest of the guy who was trying to lift his body and made him lie back down.

“No, I’ll bring it. Stay lying down.”

“You stay lying down.”

Gi Seoin jumped up and went to the kitchen before I could even stop him. I let out a sigh that I had been keeping bottled up while looking at the guy’s back.

The back of the head with scattered hair, the long and white nape of the neck, the broad shoulders and back, the slender waist and long legs… .

The guy looks at me.

The long eyelashes whose presence doesn’t fade even from afar, the straight bridge of the nose, the lips where the color spread beautifully.

Every element Gi Seoin possessed stimulated me.

Even in the midst of this, I missed the guy’s body heat that had pulled away. Since I didn’t even have to drink that water, I came to hope that he would hurry up and come to me. The guy’s weight that had wrapped around my body still lingered on my skin.

The guy might be different, but I was a human with average desires. No, maybe I’m even higher than average. Because every time I touch Gi Seoin, I want to be entangled even deeper.

‘Gi Seoin, how are you?’

It was despairing to be suffering because I couldn’t ask that short question.