HYUNG 68

Ham Dowon pushed me away and sprang up from his seat.

“What?”

“I’m saying I’ll come back next time!”

Ham Dowon hurried toward the front door with quick steps.

“…Hey, those are my shoes.”

The sight of him stumbling while shoving his feet into the wrong shoes was so absurd and exasperating that I spoke bluntly, and Ham Dowon quickly slipped his feet into the slippers that weren’t his and ran out.

Thud! At the sound of the door closing firmly, I slumped onto the floor powerlessly. I feel like… I just got rejected. He said he liked me, but did he not want to go as far as sex? Now that I think about it, was he reluctant to go that far with another man? I don’t know. My mind was a mess.

‧₊˚♪ 𝄞₊˚⊹

From then on, Ham Dowon subtly avoided me. I felt a bit, no, a lot of unfairness. Who was the one who said he liked me first? And a guy can get an erection while kissing. Do you run away because of that? Does it mean he actually hates doing that kind of thing with a man? My dissatisfaction piled up and up, but I didn’t let it show. I was still the hyung, after all, and it was embarrassing to reveal all those inner thoughts.

Ham Dowon would drop me off at the academy as usual, but he avoided my eyes and only talked about his cat. He said it was fascinating that Saja loves tuna but doesn’t really like catnip; he said he bought a cat wheel but the cat didn’t use it, yet the moment he was going to give it to Nicola, the cat started using it again—what a fickle creature.

Even though he had run out of things to talk about, he kept squeezing out words somehow, saying, “Hyung, so the thing is. And, and…” It was pitiful to watch, so I just let it slide. Even though my insides were boiling.

As soon as I got out of Ham Dowon’s car, I went to the nearest cafe and bought an iced americano packed with ice. I usually try not to drink coffee in the evening, but right now it felt exactly like what I needed. And just as I was about to enter the academy, I made eye contact with Teacher Dohee, who was smoking between the academy buildings.

“Hello.”

“Teacher Hwanoh. High. Are you just getting here?”

“Yes. You cut your hair.”

“Ah, this… is it okay?”

“Yes. it suits you well.”

Teacher Dohee’s hair had become short before I knew it, a pixie cut. She was wearing oversized clothes and had no makeup on her face, so she looked exactly like a middle school boy.

“But did something bad happen?”

“No.”

I just smiled brightly. There is no one in the world I can tell that I kissed my first-ever boyfriend, told him I had an erection, and then he suddenly ran away and has been avoiding me by talking about nonsense ever since.

“Aren’t you the one with something bad going on, Teacher Dohee? Don’t you usually not smoke?”

“Ah, I smoked during my undergraduate years and then quit… but I’ve been craving it lately. It’s almost entrance exam season, after all.”

“That’s true. It must be tough for you.”

“Well, it’s my job, so it can’t be helped…”

Teacher Dohee stared blankly at the sky with an enlightened expression and laughed hollowly. She looked like a sage.

“Still, I’m really happy when the kids get into college… though I have to survive the winter special lectures first…”

Teacher Dohee suddenly took my iced americano and began to suck on it slurp, slurp with a frustrated look. I didn’t say that the art college entrance exams only barely end in February, and once March comes, you have to deal with the students moving up from the preparatory class to the exam class and the students retaking the exams. She would know much better than I do even if I didn’t mention it.

“It would be so easy if Gihoon didn’t stay until next year…”

Teacher Dohee looked exactly like a person tied up tightly somewhere. We aren’t particularly close, but I almost patted her on the shoulder without realizing it. Because I wanted to encourage her that much. Instead, I just quietly let her have my iced americano.

The academy today, where the director supposedly didn’t show up, was quite peaceful. The students were drawing quite well and quietly, the weather was exceptionally nice today, and Teacher Wonkyu, who was in a good mood for some reason, had bought ice cream for the whole class, so the students’ expressions were very bright.

“Did you all pick one?”

“Yes! I want this one!”

Jiwon, who pulled a cone ice cream out of the plastic bag, giggled. it was chocolate flavored. Ham Dowon likes that one too. I burst into a smirk without realizing it.

“Teacher, why are you smiling like that? It makes my heart flutter.”

“Now that everyone has picked, go back to your seats and draw.”

“Teacher, do you like me? I’m asking why you suddenly smiled like that! No, wait, a girlfriend? Teacher, do you have a girlfriend now?”

“This rascal is subtly stalling for time.”

“Teacheeeer!”

Only after I pushed her by the back did Jiwon finally return to her seat. The girl, who had been pouting her lower lip with a dissatisfied expression, suddenly shouted toward the other students.

“Hey! I heard Teacher Hwanoh got a girlfriend!”

“Teacher, really? Is your girlfriend pretty?”

“Hey, she’s Teacher Hwanoh’s girlfriend, of course she’s pretty. How long did you flirt? Where did you meet her?”

“Ah, Teacher! How can you date and leave me behind! I was going to date you once I got into Hankuk University!”

Dealing with girls around this age was truly overwhelming. They chattered away among themselves, laughing loudly.

“Teacher, when was your first love? In college? High school? Or middle school? Elementary?”

“Teacher, how many confessions have you received? Since you’re handsome, I bet you received a lot. How many girlfriends have you had until now? Huh?”

“Teacher, do you have a photo of your girlfriend? Is it okay for your KakaoTalk profile picture to be like this? Won’t your girlfriend be upset?”

I haven’t been able to say a single word until now. Uiyeong, who is Jiwon’s friend, held out a screen showing a zoomed-in photo of my profile picture. It was the sky I took when I went on a language study program to America.

“Teacher, I heard you’re quite famous even at Hankuk University? My older cousin graduated from the College of Humanities there, and she’s in the same class year as you? What was it? Oh right. She said there were posts on the bulletin board asking who the guy in the ball cap in the American Culture and Art elective was. People saying they wanted to confess and asking if he had a girlfriend.”

“They called him ‘the guy in the ball cap’! Teacher, do you only wear ball caps at school? That nickname is really childish.”

“I heard Teacher was a Campus Couple. That he dated someone from the College of Music. Someone really pretty. Are you still seeing that girlfriend? Or is the new girlfriend a Campus Couple too?”

“…Phew, seriously, so much talk. So much. I don’t have a girlfriend. Stop, stop! Teacher Wonkyu, I’ll be back after visiting the exam class for a bit.”

I quickly stopped the kids, who were starting to say all sorts of things with ice cream smeared around their mouths, and turned around to give the last two remaining ice creams to the exam class teachers. Even though I had left, they were still whispering behind my back about my non-existent girlfriend. Only when Teacher Wonkyu suddenly jumped in and tried to rattle on about the girlfriend he’s been seeing for four years did the kids scatter back to their seats.

The exam class was one floor up. Perhaps because there were less than 100 days left until the Suneung, the atmosphere was certainly more dignified and calm compared to the preparatory class. I opened the door carefully and called for Teacher Dohee, who was standing nearby with her arms crossed. Although she softened her expression when she spotted me, it wasn’t good at all.

“Please have some ice cream.”

“Teacher Hwanoh, come here for a second.”

Teacher Dohee let out deep sighs while looking around, and then suddenly grabbed my forearm and dragged me somewhere. It wasn’t far, just the hallway. Teacher Dohee kept her mouth shut tight until a student passed by, and once the presence of people had completely vanished, she began to vent her frustration.

“You said you retook the exam too, Teacher Hwanoh.”

“Pardon? Yes.”

“I know it’s hard when you’re doing the entrance exam again, but are boys usually like that? No, it’s not a boy problem. There have never been kids like that until now. I’m really going crazy!”

Teacher Dohee began to throw both fists into the air in a very low voice, yet with her expression clearly distorted. Her form was quite good. Ah, she said she does boxing. She said that even though her frame is small, her whole body is full of muscle.

“Ah, I’m seriously going crazy! I know we aren’t close enough to talk about things like this, Teacher Hwanoh, but just listen for a bit. I’m really going nuts. Do you know that he acts all obedient and nice to the assistant instructor instead of me? Because that teacher is a tall man. She even said that teacher’s university is the one he wants to go to. Doing this job, I’ve been looked down upon so much for being a young woman, you know? Back when I worked as a part-timer, there were plenty of times when boys retaking the exam once or twice would subtly speak informally to me and try to act as equals. Do you know what they say after I get them into college? They’re like, ‘Hey, we’re the same age. We aren’t student and teacher anymore, so let’s speak informally.’ That’s what they say. I’ve always trampled over those guys who aren’t students anymore, but he’s still a student so I can’t even do anything.”

“That must be hard for you.”

“That’s why it’s so f—… No, it’s just so hard.”