HYUNG 21

Ham Dowon, who had been keeping his mouth tightly shut, followed submissively behind me while glancing at me lightly with a look of dissatisfaction.

I guess I should just buy the book since things turned out like this. If two professors emphasized it that much, it’s probably best to own a copy. What—what should I buy? First, I’ll buy the one I was trying to borrow earlier… Should I also buy the one they only briefly mentioned? Is it too peripheral to read that as well? Still, if I read it, it would definitely be a help…

“I have that book.”

Before I could open the main door of the library, Ham Dowon suddenly pulled up close behind me and whispered in my ear. The low voice and his breath tickled my skin. For a moment, it felt as if his lips had brushed against my ear. I felt a soft, smooth sensation for an instant. Immersed in thought, I jumped in surprise, clutching my ear and looking back. Ham Dowon took a step backward with a look of “uh-oh,” but I still felt as if someone was standing close to my back. I wonder if he felt this way when I suddenly blew my breath on him earlier. Goosebumps broke out all over. I was so startled that even my heart thumped fast. Thump, thump.

“What did you say?”

Since we were outside the reading room, between the inner and outer doors, I raised my voice as usual. Nevertheless, Ham Dowon still spoke in a small voice, as if he were deep inside the library.

“Hyung… The book you were looking for earlier, I have it.”

“…Oh, really?”

It was no big deal, yet I was so startled. I placed my hand over my heart, which was still beating fast. Thump! Thump! Thump! It felt exactly like someone was knocking from inside my stomach.

“It’s out of print, so you won’t even be able to buy it. Since it’s been a while since it was published, there’s no e-book, and it’ll be hard to find a used copy…”

Thanks to the small height difference between us, Ham Dowon faced me directly without having to look up or down. It seemed like he was looking at me, but his gaze was fixed near my cheeks or sideburns rather than my eyes, so I couldn’t tell exactly what his expression was. Whenever I tried to meet his eyes, he would avoid them again before I knew it. Now, he even cast his eyes completely downward.

“I’ll… lend it to you. Can’t you just read mine? You can give it back whenever you’re ready.”

To anyone else, it would look like he was making a tender confession. His long eyelashes were trembling, and his under-eyes, cheeks, and the tips of his ears were slightly reddish. It was similar to the way young children’s cheeks turn red, but since we were facing each other standing straight up, his body was that of a full-grown adult nearly the same height as me, so I didn’t think of my young nephew again. By the time my heartbeat finally returned to a normal pace, I took a step back and pushed the door open. I was a bit flustered by that attitude, which was desperately excessive for the situation.

“We’re taking the same class. Won’t you need it too?”

“It’s okay. I’ve already read it several times, and I have a few more copies at home. I don’t know if my mom bought them or my noona bought them.”

Slowly lifting his eyelids to finally look me straight in the eye, Ham Dowon raised his voice slightly. Still, it was small enough that I had to listen carefully to hear him. It’s not like it’s a burden to borrow a book, since I could lend one to anyone myself. But perhaps because of that attitude of his, the words “okay” didn’t come out easily. Why is he acting like that?

If it were a girl, I would have thought they were conscious of me. But Ham Dowon is a boy. It seems he just finds it difficult to offer to lend it to me because I’ve rejected various things so many times. I should fix my behavior, too. There’s no need to feel this burdened by someone’s goodwill.

“Hwanoh hyung.”

“…Okay. I’d appreciate it if you lent it to me. I’ll be careful with it.”

“Yes. Let’s go now.”

I tried to answer quickly to his call, which seemed to press for an answer. However, the title ‘Hwanoh hyung’ instead of just ‘hyung’ felt so unfamiliar for a moment that I only nodded after hesitating briefly. Even though I was the one receiving help, Ham Dowon smiled broadly as if he were the one who had received a favor.

‧₊˚♪ 𝄞₊˚⊹

“Hwanoh Mister, why are you spacing out like that?”

If I go to the 2D class after taking the liberal arts class tomorrow… While I was thinking about tomorrow’s schedule, Mister Wongyu, the head of the preparatory class, suddenly whispered near my ear. I was startled and got goosebumps. It was a bit different from when Ham Dowon did it earlier. While Ham Dowon’s action was ticklish enough to make my heart thump out of nowhere, this time… it was unpleasant because of the smell of cigarettes and hot breath. Is it because of the way he looks? Or is it because the head teacher is technically my superior at work? It might also be because the smell coming from his body was different. Because Ham Dowon smelled fragrant. Suppressing the urge to scratch my ear vigorously, I stood up abruptly from my chair.

“Ah, I was just thinking about school for a second… I’m sorry.”

“No. It happens. I went upstairs earlier and saw Ms. Do-hee struggling a lot again.”

Mister Wongyu tapped his shoulders with a massager and whispered near my ear again. Since there was a height difference, this time it was no different from him talking into my shoulder. Thanks to that, I didn’t get goosebumps.

“Why?”

“Why else? It’s because of him.”

“Ah, that…”

“Yeah. ‘That kid’.”

There were several troublemakers in the entrance exam class, but there was only one student who was referred to as ‘that kid.’ I’m talking about that fourth-year examinee.

“Did you know he was originally at Bitkkal? He had been there for a really long time, since he was preparing for the arts middle school entrance exam. The head teacher of the entrance exam class and even the director there endured and endured until this year, practically begging him to please apply to other schools too. But in the end, he was stubborn and was practically kicked out because they said they couldn’t handle him anymore.”

“I see… How on earth do you know all that?”

I wasn’t fond of that fourth-year examinee, but I didn’t want to hear this kind of gossip. I smiled awkwardly.

“How could I not know? There’s no place where rumors travel as fast as this academy district. Students keep their ears open and pass words around while looking around to see which place sends kids to good universities, and parents dig for rumors here and there to see where they should send their children. Teachers, for their part, look into how a place was last year versus this year and pass words along. And most academy directors are college classmates, seniors, or juniors. Whether they are head teachers or part-time instructors, the schools they attend are all pretty much the same. Plus, since it’s the same neighborhood, they bump into each other coming and going. It’s the ultimate culmination of regional and school ties.”

“Well, I suppose so.”

I think I heard that two of the teachers instructing in the design class are also from our school. Anyway, I want to stop hearing this story. Mister Wongyu showed no sign of stopping his story.

“Besides, Bitkkal is a large-scale academy, so it gets a lot of attention, and there are a lot of people working there and attending, so word spreads fast. Do you know that the son there did art for quite a while but didn’t go to art school? He even went to a famous arts middle school and arts high school, so he followed the elite course perfectly. But unexpectedly, he went to a different department instead of art school.”

When Ham Dowon’s story suddenly popped up, I slightly furrowed my brows. Mister Wongyu continued the story without noticing.

“Anyway, at that time, not only Bitkkal but even our academy, students, and parents were all stirred up. They were like, ‘The son of the director of that famous art academy went to an arts middle and high school and still isn’t doing art, so maybe it’s the same for me or my kid.’ Everyone knows they can’t be hugely successful just by doing art, but it was a time when that anxiety became concretely visible.”

“You know all about that, too…”

Listening to gossip about someone else, especially about a kid I already know well, didn’t make me feel very good. I tried to end the conversation by giving a rough, awkward smile, but Mister Wongyu was exceptionally talkative today.

“Of course I know. I’ve been in this neighborhood for years, starting from when I learned art here. I happened to see that family’s son once, and he was incredibly handsome. I felt like I was looking at a celebrity. The director there is also a great beauty; the family has good looks.”

Mister Wongyu laughed while diligently tapping his shoulders with the massager. Then, perhaps he hit himself the wrong way—cough, cough! He coughed like crazy. He couldn’t even respond to the students’ requests to look at their drawings and just kept coughing dryly.

— The next station is Hankuk University Entrance, Hankuk University Entrance.

I put the book I was reading into my bag. It was the book Ham Dowon had lent me. It must have been quite old, as the pages were browned and covered in handprints.