HYUNG 46

“I can eat it all. I don’t leave food behind. But you said you’d drink with me, hyung. Why aren’t you drinking?”

“It’s because you’re hogging it all for yourself.”

I snatched the soju away from the fellow; he had already finished one bottle and was halfway through the second. And just as I was about to pour it into my glass, Ham Dowon jumped up and grabbed the bottle.

“Hyuuung, they say if you pour your own drink, you’ll be single for three years.”

“Then I guess I’ll just be single for three years.”

I let out a short laugh. Ham Dowon furrowed his eyebrows intensely.

“And also… they say it’s really bad luck. Extremely. My dad told me so.”

In the end, I drank the liquor Ham Dowon poured for me. As expected, soju was bitter and tasteless even after having not had it for a long while. When I grimaced slightly, Ham Dowon let out a chuckle.

“Hyung, you can’t drink well, can you?”

“Yeah. I don’t particularly like it.”

“Hyung, you’re cute.”

Ham Dowon, who was loosely leaning his chin on his arm atop the table, muttered with a smiling face. I froze with the glass to my lips, and Ham Dowon pressed his lips tightly together.

“…What? You said I was cute too, hyung! Then it’s possible for you to be cute too, isn’t it? Right?”

Ham Dowon, clenching his fists, cried out with a slightly raised voice. He had a look of indignation. Right. This guy likes me. He does… It was flustering, but it was funny. He was trying so hard to pretend he didn’t, but in the end, he gets caught like this. He isn’t even very good at acting.

It’s funny. Is it the alcohol? I even found myself laughing easily. Ham Dowon’s face turned even redder. I don’t know if it was because of the alcohol, or because he was embarrassed, or because he was shy. At any rate, he seemed flustered. Because he started drinking even more diligently. He drank until he finished one bottle of beer and one and a half bottles of soju and collapsed onto the table.

Leaving the fellow in his seat for a moment, I went to pay the bill, and the server clicked their tongue.

“Your friend got very drunk. You’re going to have a hard time, student.”

“Well… it happens. Please throw away the receipt.”

I shoved my wallet into my pocket, returned to the seat, and shook Ham Dowon’s body.

“Mmm…”

Ham Dowon let out a fairly cute groan, shaking his head lightly as if grumbling in his sleep. Since he had drunk quite a lot, there was no lack of probability for such behavior. But I had already seen it.

“Ham Dowon, I know you aren’t drunk. Get up.”

I had seen him sneakily open his eyes and scan the surroundings while I was away paying the bill. Even so, he kept acting and playing innocent, so I whispered the same thing once more. Belatedly, Ham Dowon stretched, stood up, and rubbed his eyes.

“Hyung, I guess I fell asleep for a second…”

“Sure. Don’t rub your eyes, though.”

This guy… is he good at acting, or is he bad at it? This is so awkward right now. I felt embarrassed for no reason. I hesitated over whether I should touch his body, but the sight of him rubbing his eyes bothered me, so I eventually grabbed his arm and pulled him up from the seat.

After coming out of the shop, I let go of him, but Ham Dowon tottered, so I quickly grabbed him again. The smell of alcohol covered the faint, unique scent that usually came from Ham Dowon’s body. I didn’t like it.

“Hyung, I want to eat ramen.”

Ham Dowon, who had let his body go limp against me, whispered. Even though it wasn’t a loud voice, I heard him clearly because he had his face resting on my shoulder. Ham Dowon’s body, swaying from the intoxication, was hot. To the point that my face felt warm despite the wind blowing. I tried to push him away, but it felt like he would fall over again, so I just ended up letting out a long sigh.

“Hyuuung, I want ramen.”

“You just came out from eating a meal.”

“Then… ice cream. I want to eat ice cream. Hyung, please?”

Ham Dowon rubbed his cheek against my shoulder. I don’t know if it was intentional or not. In the midst of it, he did seem a bit cute. Is it okay for Ham Dowon to be cute? This guy likes me and I don’t like him? But he was cute a long time ago, too. Because he’s like a child. So it’s okay to think he’s cute. What am I saying. Am I drunk too? Is that why my face is so hot?

“Let go of me and try to walk straight.”

“Hyuuung, the, the ground… keeps shaking. What if I slam into the floor like this? Huh?”

Is this behavior of clinging to me even as I push him away also acting, or is it just drunken rowdiness? That pathetic declaration of war, where he said every single action he took was meant to seduce me, suddenly came to mind. Even though he said he was just going to act like an acquaintance hoobae from now on.

At one moment it was obnoxious, but then again, it wasn’t as if I’d never had a drunk male hoobae cling to me going “Sunbae, sunbaeee…” so I couldn’t purely criticize him. He was cute, and the alcohol had made my heart soft.

“Then hold onto my shoulder.”

“Hyung, I want ice creeeam…”

“Fine. We’re going to that convenience store over there, so just hold my shoulder.”

“Okaaay…”

Fortunately, a convenience store was visible nearby. Whether it was acting or whatever, I should just sit him down in a chair and feed him cold ice cream to tell him to snap out of it. And I need to snap out of it too. I walked while holding onto Ham Dowon, who had his arm wrapped around my shoulder and was swaying. He was heavy, but not to an unbearable extent, so I walked in silence and plopped him down onto a plastic chair set up outside.

“What are you going to eat?”

“Meee… whatever you like, hyung.”

Ham Dowon, leaning loosely against the chair, grinned. Every inch of his exposed skin—from his face to his neck to his hands—was bright red. His unfocused eyes and lips let out a constant, silly, hollow laugh.

Exhausted, I crouched down and let out a deep sigh. How should I send this guy home, should I put him in a taxi? What was his home address again… While I was thinking for a long time, my scalp suddenly felt itchy.

“Hyung, your hair is really soft too.”

When I glanced up slightly, my gaze met Ham Dowon’s flushed eyes. Ham Dowon’s languid face looking down at me from above was just like…

“…I’ll just go buy something.”

I jumped up from my spot. I briefly cast my eyes on Ham Dowon’s hand, which had fallen away after stroking my hair, and then quickly went inside the convenience store. That image just now was just like… as if…

“This is driving me crazy.”

I ruffled my hair. Even if he pretends not to, Ham Dowon likes me. Then naturally, he’d want to do the things a couple would do. What’s the big deal about touching hair, I’ve touched Ham Dowon’s hair before too. If you ask if it feels bad, it doesn’t, but… somehow it gave me the creeps. It was even more so because I had ended up imagining myself lying in the same bed as Ham Dowon.

I brainwashed myself, pretending to pick out ice cream while briefly shoving my head into the freezer, telling myself that Ham Dowon doesn’t like me and he’s just a hoobae.

I should have just told him not to do that “pretending not to know” thing. Back when he openly said he liked me, every one of Ham Dowon’s actions could be interpreted in a single way. That he was doing it because he liked me.

But now, even though it could just be him acting like a close hoobae, I find myself interpreting and discerning Ham Dowon’s words and actions on my own. Thinking, is he doing this because we’re in a hyung-dongsaeng relationship, or is it because he can’t hide his feelings of liking me?

“That guy doesn’t like me, and I’m just a sunbae to him. A hyung he knows…”

I reached in and rummaged through the ice cream, only straightening my back after pulling out two tube popsicles. I even bought hangover relief drinks, bottled water, and gum, and then suddenly remembering that Ham Dowon likes sweet things, I ended up buying candy, jellies, and chocolate too.

Will he… be able to eat all this? Coming outside, I saw Ham Dowon looking at a random spot with a blank face. His expressionless appearance looked somewhat cold. Even though just a moment ago he had been grinning with a completely loose face. When the wind blew, he even grimaced as if it were annoying that his swaying hair touched his eyebrows. Sitting like that, he really… looked unfamiliar. Like a different person.

“…Hyuuung.”

When I pressed the tube popsicle against his cheek, he turned around with wide eyes as if startled. As soon as our eyes met, his face, smiling brightly with eyes crinkling, was familiar again.

“Eat.”

I poured the jellies, candy, gum, and hangover drinks onto the table. I picked up a lollipop that had rolled onto the floor, put it back on the table, and sat in the chair, and Ham Dowon let out a giggle like a child beside me.

“How did you know I liked this, hyung?”

Since he picked up the bag of jellies first like a child, I snatched it away and pressed the hangover relief drink into his hand.

“Drink that first.”

Ham Dowon stuck out his lower lip like a child and gulped down the hangover drink first. Then, contorting his face as if it tasted bad, he opened his mouth.

“Ah.”

“What?”

“I took the medicine, so give me a reward.”