HYUNG 25

Even though he was the one who approached first, the moment our eyes met, Ham Dowon jumped in surprise. He cast his eyes down and fumbled with his hand toward the side of the car. What was he trying… Ah, the seatbelt. I forgot my belt. I hadn’t realized at all. But couldn’t he have just told me to put it on? Did he really have to act like this? He might be the type whose body moves faster than his words. Or perhaps he felt even the words “put on your seatbelt” sounded like a nag, so he tried to do it himself. Because he’s socially awkward. I pulled the seatbelt that Ham Dowon was holding onto and clicked the latch into the buckle.

“Next time, just say, ‘You forgot your seatbelt.’ I won’t feel bad about that. You don’t have to go through the trouble of doing it yourself.”

I spoke calmly and clearly, as if addressing a child. Does it sound too much like a lecture? I guess it really did. Ham Dowon, who had pulled back slightly, had a dissatisfied look on his face.

“You stay still and then tell me I didn’t need to do it… I really don’t understand you, hyung.”

That’s my line.

“I suppose you’re just shy, right? Okay. I’ll understand.”

“…”

Ham Dowon nodded with a look of self-conviction. What exactly is he calling shy… Since I didn’t understand the meaning of those words at all, I just blinked silently, and Ham Dowon cast his eyes downward as if avoiding my gaze.

“I haven’t made up my mind yet… but I’ll give you an answer before too long. Since I’m thinking about it every day…”

With a slightly high-pitched and trembling voice, Ham Dowon poured the words out in a small but rapid rush, then hurriedly fastened his seatbelt and started the car.

“What exactly are you thinking about every day?”

“You, hyung.”

“Me?”

“Yes. How I should treat you, what you might be thinking…”

I carefully observed Ham Dowon, who looked tense and gripped the steering wheel with both hands while looking straight ahead like a novice driver. Does he mean he thinks about how to become friends with me every day? It didn’t fit perfectly, but since Ham Dowon’s mental world and way of speaking are unique, I had no choice but to guess this way. It might mean he wants to make a friend that badly.

“Besides Hwajung, did you have no one else you were close with at all?”

Did he really have no friends at all?

“Since I was little, there weren’t many people around me. There’s almost no one I spend time meeting.”

“…So you really have no friends at all. No friends…”

He must have been bullied or something. Since the kid is so peculiar. That’s probably why he’s clumsy at dealing with peers. I could understand why Hwajung was particularly worried. No, but a person can be a bit unique; why would you bully a kid for that? It makes me a bit angry. Still, I was glad he grew up bright. His high self-esteem and oversized ego felt commendable. Because protecting oneself in the midst of hardship is a truly difficult thing.

“Hyung, I won’t ever be unable to make time for you because I’m meeting friends.”

Because he has no friends? Right. That’s possible. You can live a good life even without friends.

“Want to have dinner together? It seems like there’s some time left.”

“I’m totally hungry! Let’s eat, a meal!”

Even so, it weighed on my mind. Ham Dowon bounced his body as if excited. Seeing him get that thrilled just at the offer of eating a meal together made me feel pity for him.

“In return, I’m buying. Since you gave me a ride.”

I should at least make sure he eats well.

‧₊˚♪ 𝄞₊˚⊹

— Hyung.

“Yeah.”

I bowed my head to the blonde-haired, blue-eyed instructor and left the classroom. He looked like he couldn’t speak a word of Korean, but I’d seen a course evaluation saying he was surprisingly a professor who cared deeply about Confucian etiquette. Since it was an English class and I’d been speaking English for the first time in a while, I almost answered Ham Dowon in English.

— Are you at school?

“Class just ended.”

— Should I come pick you up?

“Why would you? It’s near your house anyway.”

Since I had to go down home tomorrow, I decided to help Ham Dowon buy bread today. We agreed to meet near his house because the shops we needed to visit were all in that vicinity. After persistently persuading Ye Hwanyoung, we decided to stop at only three shops in that neighborhood.

With the condition that we would skip the cake since it might melt or lose its shape, and instead buy various types of bread and cookies. It was the result of a dramatic compromise reached after persuading her that I would diligently drive her around here and there when I came up to Seoul during the break. Since I was going to head there after my first-period lecture to meet at 1:00 PM, there was no need to come pick me up. I would waste time waiting, and Ham Dowon would waste gas and energy.

— Hyung, but…

“Yeah.”

— I’m already at school.

“…It seems so.”

How he knew I was taking a class here, I don’t know, but as soon as I stepped out of the building’s main entrance, I saw Ham Dowon standing across the road. Even though it was his day off, his hair was well-styled… and he was even wearing a semi-formal suit. On his wrist, which was usually bare, was a watch that looked quite expensive. He usually dressed well, but today it was so extreme that it almost looked excessive. To anyone else, it would look like he was going for an interview. When all he’s doing is helping a school senior with an errand for his younger sister.

— Should I go back?

“Is wasting gas a hobby of yours?”

I crossed the street after waiting for the cars to pass. As usual, Ham Dowon’s scent brushed the tip of my nose. It’s not that strong a scent, but I’ve become so familiar with it despite not knowing him for long.

“I’m grateful enough that you’re helping on your day off, but coming to pick me up too. I’ll have to buy you a grand meal later.”

Coming to pick me up is a bit much. It was slightly burdensome, but I just smiled for him. Since he was already here, I couldn’t exactly tell him to go, and he’s probably like this because he’s clumsy at dealing with people.

“How grand? You already buy me expensive things often.”

“Then eat something even more expensive that day. Scrape every bit of meat off the bone if you want.”

“…That sounds strange.”

I don’t know what on earth he meant by it sounding strange. Ham Dowon couldn’t even meet my eyes, his under-eyes flushed red.

We walked toward the parking lot side by side. I fumbled with my wireless earphones, rolling them in my hand.

“Hyung, you use the same earphones as me.”

“That almost sounds like you’re saying I followed you and bought them.”

Since Ham Dowon kept glancing at my hands, I thought I was being too distracting and shoved the earphones into my pocket. My laptop, tablet PC, and even my earphones could be a bit similar. It’s a brand famous enough that people buy several of its products. You could surely find tens of thousands of people at school using these earphones.

“It’s not that… but did you really buy them because of me?”

It was just a joke, but the look on Ham Dowon’s face, as if to say, ‘Is that really it?’ was absurd. I didn’t even know you used these. Anyway, that confidence of his. However, I didn’t find it obnoxious or hateful. It just made me laugh.

“My younger sister saved up her allowance and bought them for my birthday.”

Even if that brat Ye Hwanyoung acted prickly, she wasn’t a truly bad kid. She took good care of me for my birthday or special occasions, considering I’m her only brother. Of course, after that, she pestered me to buy her something more expensive than the gift. Even though it was annoying, I’d usually buy it while grumbling since it was her way of acting cute.

“On May 2nd?”

“Yeah. On May 2nd.”

He really seems to remember my birthday. I don’t know if he wrote it down on a calendar somewhere. It was easy to remember. May 2nd. If you shorten it in Korean, it’s ‘Oi’ which means cucumber.

“When is your birthday?”

“January 13th.”

“It’s during break and around Lunar New Year, so you probably didn’t get celebrated much.”

“Instead, I got plenty of New Year’s money. They gave me more saying it was for my birthday.”

“Right. Money is the best gift.”

We reached the parking lot and got into Ham Dowon’s car. Just like last time, it was clean inside and out. It was so clean that I almost mistook the scenery reflected on the surface of the black car for the real thing.

“But what’s with your clothes? Do you have something going on today?”

I asked as I saw Ham Dowon unbuttoning his jacket before sitting in the seat. Ham Dowon looked at me with a face that said, ‘What are you talking about?’

“I’m meeting you, hyung.”

“You dressed up like that just to meet me? I’m in a hoodie, jeans, and I’m even wearing a hat.”

We have to go around to different places today. Even though Ham Dowon is driving, it’s not like we won’t be moving at all. Why did he dress like that… No, he might have just dressed that way because he wanted to. Don’t girls sometimes come in all dressed up after usually going around looking plain? When asked why they dressed up so much, the answer was usually, ‘I just felt like it.’ I guess Ham Dowon felt like it too.