ORCA 86

Thinking about how he had gone to the vegetable garden today to trim the tomato stems, the tart flavor of the new tea snack he’d had during the afternoon tea break, and how the young master had helped him when he nearly dropped the water bottle earlier—he thought of all these things, then wiped them all away. Then, he regretted doing something so useless. It was because no matter what he thought of, Orca was always right there behind it.

Orca grabbed Niah’s wrist, which was flapping about like a just-caught stingray. His other hand, which had stopped in sympathy, also fell away from the towel. Niah wanted to rip his heart right out. He resented that it was making such a loud, thumping noise without the owner’s permission. Knowing it would be heard better by the young master than by himself, his shoulders shrank automatically. He tried to look for an excuse, but he was blocked before any weak excuse could even emerge.

Orca pressed his face so close they were almost touching, interrogating him. Niah lowered his gaze and turned his head slightly. His eyelashes fluttered violently with tension. Without realizing it, he clutched at his clothes.

“Your gaze was impure.”

“No. It wasn’t.”

“You looked at me like that all day.”

“No, no… I… I wasn’t thinking about anything….”

Instead of letting go of his wrist, Orca rubbed his thumb over Niah’s lips. Ever since he had broken him of the habit of biting them whenever he was in trouble, they were always smooth. Even when he tried to bite them, he would hesitate and just wiggle them. It had been worth the effort of applying medicine every chance he got.

“You were thinking. I could tell.”

Niah prayed for someone to let him faint right here. He felt as if his perverted worries had been discovered in their entirety. It felt as if his inner thoughts had been laid out and put on display. He tried to stubbornly insist that it wasn’t so, but gave up. There was no way he could deceive the young master. It was certain, considering he hadn’t believed him even after he’d said no twice.

He thought that perhaps he would be scolded less if he told the truth, so he opened his mouth, but then held it shut again. It would be a much bigger problem if he were completely branded a pervert. Perhaps he might even be kicked out. Harriet had said that doing as one wanted was the answer, but it wasn’t as easy as she made it sound. Sobs piled up one after another in his heart.

While Niah was wandering, unable to find his footing, Orca pushed his fingers in as he pleased. His thumb, which had been rubbing Niah’s lower lip this way and that, slipped into his mouth as if burying itself into the soft flesh. He pried apart the closed teeth and tapped the tip of his tongue. He didn’t like the way Niah’s tongue flinched and hid inside in surprise. He shoved his finger deep inside to chase down the fleeing tongue. The heat of the breathless pants spilling out between his teeth was erotic.

Niah, who was being teased quietly as usual, suddenly felt a sense of injustice. The young master touched him however he pleased all the time, so it was unfair that he couldn’t do the same. The sudden thought that it was unfair made him feel more indignant. He was so indignant he felt resentful.

Niah, fuming inside, bit down on the finger that was stirring inside his mouth. It was better described as holding onto it rather than biting it. Regardless, Orca stopped the teasing just as Niah wanted.

“I want to do it too.”

Niah’s request, blurted out after watching him for a while and then spitting out his finger, was sudden. He had ended up doing exactly what Harriet had told him not to do. Fortunately, it wasn’t quite “Young master, please take your clothes off,” but it was just as difficult a situation. However, he found it hard to keep the resentment, once sparked, bottled up inside. Even while hunching his rigid body and stuttering, he said what he had to say.

“I, I want to touch you too. Every day, only the young master… …like this, it’s unfair.”

“What is?”

Orca pressed even closer as Niah shrank back, digging for answers. He had long since grown accustomed to the disorganized words that spilled out whenever Niah was even slightly flustered. But even though he understood, he pretended not to, continuing to press the issue.

The goldfish, driven into a corner, invariably gave a naked answer. He turned bright red and spoke exactly what was on his mind. It was entertaining to watch such a naive reaction. The goldfish was ridiculously honest. He didn’t know how to beat around the bush.

“I want your tongue, the tongue too!”

Niah’s answer, which had slipped out so boldly, was indeed interesting. The request-that-wasn’t-quite-a-request, blurted out with his eyes squeezed shut, was firm and confident. Even though he was trembling, it was a voice that showed a resolution to achieve what he wanted.

Orca sat Niah upright—who had slumped over at some point—and reached around behind his hips, closing the distance. Orca rested his elbows on the vanity. Because of the lowered posture, their eye levels were mismatched.

“Alright.”

“R, really…?”

Niah opened his eyes wide and scrutinized Orca’s expression. He was surprised for a moment by the gaze looking down at him slightly, but his interest was drawn elsewhere. He felt suspicious of the unexpectedly ready answer. Wanting to see if there was some other meaning hidden inside, he peered intently into Orca’s eyes. He couldn’t help but be suspicious when a request he himself thought was strange was granted so easily. This was separate from the sudden resentment he felt at the thought that only the young master touched him as he pleased.

“Why…?”

“Forget it if you don’t want to.”

“No! It’s not that I don’t want to….”

The prompt withdrawal, as quick as the ready consent, made Niah desperate. Orca started to back away, but let himself be caught easily. He felt a grip strength on his forearm stronger than ever before. It was still a trivial level to him, but he could physically sense that the goldfish was anxious.

Niah, having grabbed onto him blindly, kept moving his lips. He looked down at Orca, turned his gaze to the ceiling, and then looked at the bare skin beneath Orca’s wide-open pajama top, causing a scene all by himself. His chaotic hesitation took place in silence. Niah groped his forearm, gripped his shoulder, and with a bit more courage, wrapped his arms around his neck. Orca submissively received the slow, careful touch.

“You, you mustn’t bite me….”

The fingers that had been lingering near his chin and cheeks slid up to fiddle with his lips. His Adam’s apple bobbed wildly, and his fingertips trembled thinly. The small request tickled Orca in a whisper. Perhaps not knowing that saying such things only encouraged a malicious heart, the goldfish whimpered, emphasizing it once more.

“It hurt so much last time…. You mustn’t bite me, young master.”

The index finger that had been tracing his lip line slowly invaded his mouth. Orca suppressed the urge to bite him hard enough to make him cry, and instead appreciated Niah’s intensely focused expression. One hand, which had been resting on the back of his neck, pulled Niah tight against him, as if asserting ownership. As Niah had asked, he let his finger slide in two knuckles deep, and Orca entangled it with his tongue and licked it.

The goldfish tasted sweet. It was sweet and fragrant. It was no different from the sugar-preserved flower decorations or the goldfish’s own skin. The only difference was that flowers shattered into crumbs when bitten, but the goldfish would say “ouch.” He felt that if he bit him off joint by joint and swallowed him whole, his stomach would be filled to satisfaction. Orca sucked on his finger as if he were truly going to eat him.

Niah let out breathless, rasping pants as he became engrossed in the sensuous act. It was indeed like crushing a ripe peach. The squelching sensation was so strange that his lower abdomen tickled. At a distance of less than a palm’s length, their breaths mingled densely. Electric shivers ran down his spine.

Sensations flared up all over his body, and his heart hammered wildly. He curled his toes, clenching them tight. Even though their eyes had been meeting the entire time, he suddenly felt a strange fear and swallowed hard. All of a sudden, heat rose from his toes to the top of his head. Niah pulled his finger out abruptly. He felt like if he continued, he would end up doing something irreversible, so he had no choice but to stop halfway.

“A strange feeling….”

He hugged Orca tightly. He couldn’t help but embrace him. He was out of breath just from sitting there. He considered asking Harriet about this strange feeling when he saw her tomorrow, but shook his head. He had a strong premonition that it was better to keep this a secret. The thought that he might not just be teased like this morning, but actually scolded, suddenly dominated his mind. It felt that way even though he hadn’t said, “Young master, please take your clothes off.”

His lower abdomen still felt ticklish and aching. He curled his hands into fists, hiding his thumping fingers inside. The pleasant scent brushing his nose calmed his chaotic heart. He clung even closer to the young master.