ORCA 23

“It would be better if you came now.”

Orca went out of his way to reach out an arm. He didn’t add the phrase, “when I tell you to.” Instead, grinding his molars, he curled his finger in a beckoning motion, urging Niah repeatedly. It was getting harder to keep holding back. His thin sliver of remaining sanity was the only thing forcing him to stay in place. He called out “Niah” again.

The goldfish was always steeped in some kind of fear, even when I wasn’t doing anything. So, this method was more effective than overtly threatening him. At just a single name, at a single touch, he used to cling to me desperately. It was as if he were trying to quench a long-standing thirst.

Niah glanced sideways at the hand that had stopped near him. He bit his lip, then hung his head low. The fingers that had been wiping away tears shuffled downward to clutch the hem of his clothes tightly. Then, he shook his head back and forth.

If he could, he wanted to lather his whole body in soap suds right now and erase the fishy smell. If he did, he could press his cheek against that hand as the young master said. But he couldn’t find the courage right now. He was in agony as he kept remembering the servant who had held his nose upon seeing him. It would have been better if he had forgotten it on his way to the young master, but it was still just as vivid.

Niah stepped back further and shook his head again. He kept crying.

“Hee… I, don’t want to. I don’t want to….”

Watching the lips that had finally let out a refusal, Orca strode forward with a calm expression. He shoved his outstretched hand back into his pants pocket. He had truly gone past his limit now.

As Orca’s chest approached as if to collide with him, Niah pushed his heels against the carpet in fear. He was so out of his mind, prioritizing the desire not to be found out over the anxiety of being harmed.

Orca wore an endlessly benevolent and calm face. He simply filled the short gap that had widened the moment he tried to close it, without a moment’s hesitation. This ambiguous game of tag repeated a few more times after that, ending with his menacing sigh.

With a light movement, he knocked Niah over. Niah didn’t even have a chance to do anything about his ankles, which had been tugged from behind, and landed on his bottom. A groan of “Ugh” escaped him.

Feeling the floor with his palms, he scrambled to move his legs. The stiff fibers of the carpet rubbed against the soles of his shoes with a scraping sound. Regardless, he was caught before he could go very far. No matter how much he struggled, he was forced to twist his body in the spot where he had fallen. It was because Orca was stepping on the top of one of his feet.

“Young master, h- young, master…. Sob.”

“Is your memory a mess, by any chance?”

“That is, ugh…. It’s not that, h….”

“If it’s not that, then it’s unfair.”

“Hee, hic, young master. Young masteeeer….”

After doing this much, one would expect him to grab my pant leg and beg for forgiveness, but the goldfish only cried. He didn’t stretch out those pitiful fingers to come near, nor did he cling and grovel. He only struggled hard to escape. The reason still remained a mystery.

If he were going to be like this, there was no reward for having gone to the trouble of keeping him alive. Orca pulled his right hand from his pocket and swept it down his face. His fingertips, moving from his forehead to his chin, twitched slightly. He couldn’t understand why he was feeling such a surge of rage.

Should I just kill him?

It was the easiest and fastest way to resolve the frustration filling his chest. He wanted to grasp the goldfish in his hand and burst him. If he crushed the goldfish’s bones and squeezed out the entrails inside, it would pop with a satisfying snap. It would only take a brief moment.

If he didn’t like this method, resolving the curiosity he had held onto until now was also acceptable. To put him in his mouth and chew him thoroughly to savor the taste. If he savored him for a long time and swallowed him as he pleased, this hot-tempered heart would likely return to normal. It was a clean ending that would leave no room for the mansion to become noisy.

Orca rolled his eyes back and closed them. It was such a simple task, yet he couldn’t easily go through with it. This was different from the emotions he had to suppress to avoid killing his own allies on the battlefield at the border. Something felt jarring. It was unfamiliar and rash.

He slowly lifted his eyelids. The round head reflected in his murky pupils looked like a small orange. Like a ripe fruit that, if grasped, would have juice flowing out to soak the carpet thoroughly.

Niah, who had been struggling to free his stepped-on foot, suddenly jerked his head up. A large figure was casting a shadow over him. Only then did he realize the young master’s hand had come down right in front of his nose. Niah, catching another kind of fear too late, stared at Orca. His tightly pressed lips trembled.

As soon as Orca made eye contact with Niah, who was sitting on the floor, he withdrew his hand and straightened his stooped posture.

“Truly, how unfair.”

He cast his gaze aside toward the ceiling. The comment that flowed out like a sigh represented his state, which was on the verge of breaking. He wasn’t even sure himself if he had intended to soothe and calm the struggling goldfish below, or if he had truly intended to burst and kill him just as he had thought. What was certain was that if he left himself as he was, it wouldn’t be strange if he killed the goldfish at any moment.

The volume of the noise heard in his ears was chaotic and cluttered. He couldn’t regulate it well. He was already not in his right mind. Orca stepped a couple of steps away from Niah. He needed a different method. He needed a way to drag the goldfish, who was trying to run away without even telling him the reason, toward himself, while simultaneously regaining his own sanity.

As the weight that had been crushing his foot vanished, Niah pulled his legs in. After rubbing his sleeves against his eyes haphazardly, he curled his body up. Then, he cautiously watched the young master. The young master was taking ragged breaths and covering his face with both hands. He was even trembling as if he were scared of something. It was a sight he had never seen before. His heart was anxious.

With the worry that slowly bloomed, the fishy smell was forgotten in an instant. His heart sank, wondering if he was suddenly in pain somewhere. It was beating tremendously.

“Young master…?”

Niah tried to crawl, placing his knees on the floor. He didn’t feel he should stand up without permission. But before he could even take a single step, the sound of glass shattering rang out first. A sharp, explosive sound spilled onto the carpet.

“Uh…. Uh-uh, uh…? Uh, uh…. Uh?”

Niah opened and closed his lips, stretching out meaningless sounds. While moving his knees as if crawling, he stood up unsteadily and approached. His wide-open mouth didn’t know how to close.

Niah grabbed Orca’s hand, which was oozing blood, and pulled it toward his chest. Orca finally unclenched the fist he had been gripping tightly as the goldfish’s fingers touched him. The remnants of a thick glass stand, which originally had the purpose of holding teaspoons or similar items, were revealed. It was one of the objects that had been brought on the trolley.

Orca took his hand away from Niah, who was trying to pick up a glass shard, and flicked it toward the carpet. Sharp fragments mixed with drops of blood fell like rain. Having checked with an emotionless expression to see if any visible debris remained, he held his hand back out as if to show him.

Niah cautiously supported the underside of his hand. The firm skin had been cracked haphazardly, quickly bleeding.

“Why, why…. Uh, I, will treat it, so, uh…. I will, I will call someone. I, ugh… Young master, sob…. Why, h, whyyy….”

Tears mixed with the palm where blood had pooled like a puddle. Niah couldn’t understand why the young master had done something like this. It was clearly not a mistake, but something done on purpose. On top of that, if it were him, he would have cried from the pain or fainted, but the young master was just looking down with an expressionless face as if nothing were wrong. It was rather him who was crying.

“Niah. Don’t you have anything else to say besides that?”

At the question, which was calm enough to be unbelievable for someone whose palm was shredded, Niah cried even harder.

Orca brought his other hand to the nape of Niah’s neck, who was holding his hand and sobbing. When he gripped it gently to make him look at him, he didn’t struggle this time and followed meekly.

The goldfish was crying sorrowfully and stamping his feet as if he were the one who had been hurt. When he tried to go and call someone, Orca pulled him into his arms to stop him. The shoes, which had been placed side by side between his dress shoes, became quiet.

“Young masteeeer…. Ugh, sob…. It hurts. It hurts so much….”