ORCA 71

He tucked the blanket in well around him and then adjusted the quilt over him. Niah wiggled and turned on his side, moving closer into his embrace. Orca pulled his hunched shoulders tight to fill the ambiguous gap between them, and slid his other arm underneath his face. Since he was the one who had messed things up, he had no choice but to pat and soothe him. The “goldfish” nestled in his arms rubbed his forehead against him. He pulled him in even tighter.

“I’m really not. I like you, sir….”

“I know. I know, but I said it meanly. So, you can hate me a little right now.”

“No. I don’t hate you. I don’t hate you at all.”

Niah didn’t understand why he would say such mean things to him when he knew everything, but he chose to just stay nestled there. The young master’s bed was soft and warm, and thanks to lighting that didn’t flicker out as quickly as a candle, it wasn’t pitch black—but it was still hard to fall asleep. An absurd suspicion crossed his mind: What if this is another nightmare? A sharp tingling sensation echoed in his chest. He was afraid of the blackness that would greet him if he closed his eyes. It felt like he would be trapped inside a dream once again.

“Niah. Can’t you sleep?”

“Ah, no. I’m sleeping. I’m already asleep.”

Niah buried himself deeper into his arms. Orca realized he had done something foolish again. Aside from the day he brought Stucky home, the goldfish had never come up at dawn to ask for anything. It occurred to him belatedly that he hadn’t even listened to the reason why he had come to find him. There must have been a reason for everything, but he had blocked him from even saying it. There was no bigger fool than him.

“Sir. Just a moment. I, I smell like, sweat. Sir, just a second, ah.”

Orca, hugging Niah with enough force to crush him as he struggled, buried his face deep into the nape of his neck. He could smell a scent that had grown richer than usual. He felt like he could have told him that petal-like or tiny leaf-like scents were blooming from his skin instead of sweat, and he would have believed it. He wondered if this was how the idiots who were addicted to opium because they couldn’t handle the horror of war felt.

What is this, anyway?

“Sir, I, I’m going to burst. Really, ah, ugh… I’m going to burst. It hurts, it hurts.”

Only after the sound of “Ah!” escaped him because of the pain did he let him go from his embrace. Orca tapped his forehead against Niah’s crown as he panted.

“Shall we have some milk? Warm.”

“…I’ll get in trouble if I go into the kitchen at night….”

Niah trailed off, as if he didn’t entirely dislike the idea. Orca tapped him again and whispered. At his tone, mixed with a faint trace of laughter, Niah’s eyes darted around.

“Who would scold me?”

“Uh… um… the Madam…?”

“I’ll win. It’s okay.”

Even on nights when he couldn’t sleep from hunger, he had never snuck into the kitchen. He felt that if he were caught, it wouldn’t just end with a mere scolding. Fingers wiggling inside the blanket poked Orca’s stomach. Waiting for Niah, who couldn’t easily agree to go, he made the secret proposal once more. He was playing tricks just to soothe and appease a single servant.

“It’ll be fine if we don’t get caught. I’ll make sure we don’t get caught.”

Niah was easily swayed and played right into his tricks. Feeling him nod slowly, Orca lifted Niah, blanket and all. The only ways he knew to appease the goldfish were feeding him or giving him greens.

Other than the occasional sound of grass insects, everything was silent all around. It was the time when all the servants would be asleep in the basement. Since those who stayed outside were just the gamekeeper or the stable hand, there was effectively no one in the mansion. The gamekeeper’s quarters were in the valley, and even the stables were a considerable distance from the front entrance of the mansion. Besides Orca’s parents, there was no one else who could be called “the owner,” so there were literally only the two of them on the main floor of the mansion.

Holding an oil lamp, Orca offered one arm to Niah, who was clinging to him. Niah walked as slowly as he could, afraid he might trip on the blanket that was so large it was cumbersome. Because of the socks and slippers that were too big for him to wear, walking any faster than this was impossible. It wasn’t because he was walking slowly out of fear of the grotesque figures in the frames hanging here and there.

Before leaving the room, Orca looked down at Niah and suddenly noticed his wriggling bare feet. It was only after the oil lamp was lit and the surroundings became much brighter. He thought for a moment before bringing some socks for him to wear. Because the goldfish had a habit of refusing, he had to take his two legs, place them on his thighs, and put them on for him himself. Only then did the goldfish follow his instructions quietly. They looked a bit loose, but not so much that he couldn’t walk. He unwrapped the blanket and wrapped it around him again. If he was still in pain after all this, there was definitely a problem.

Niah dragged his flapping slippers halfway, stopping every twenty steps. He had to keep pulling up the socks that kept sliding down to wear them properly. Because they were too big, they kept sliding forward as he walked, so he had no choice; they were on the verge of slipping off at any moment.

Orca thought it would have been faster to just scoop him up and carry him under his arm, but he just stopped and waited with him. It took three times longer than usual to reach the kitchen at the end of the west wing’s first floor.

“Stay there for a second.”

Orca, having rolled up his robe sleeves, made Niah step back one pace. Looking around the kitchen—which he hadn’t entered since he was a child—he searched for the pantry. He rummaged through the shelves where cool air circulated and pulled out a glass bottle containing milk. He had a feeling it would be an ingredient for tomorrow’s cooking, but figured they could handle it themselves. Since it would take a long while to go down to the cellar pantry where the extra ingredients were, he thought the goldfish would be exhausted before he even got to feed him milk.

“I told you to wait for a second. Why?”

“No… just…”

Niah, who had followed Orca as he went into the pantry holding the oil lamp, shook his head. He couldn’t bring himself to say that he was afraid of the darkness stained black in every corner. He didn’t want to say things like that, as if he were a child. This was all because of the nightmare he had earlier.

He looked only at the young master’s face, which was illuminated by the lamp’s light as much as possible. Then, it was a little less scary. No, it wasn’t that he was scared right now, but regardless, that’s how it was. Originally, he would use the moonlight as a candle to finish the chores he couldn’t do during the day, so this much was actually nothing.

“Come here. Right here.”

He placed the oil lamp on the table next to the stove. Orca pulled away the goldfish, who was desperate to cling to him, and stood him by the lamp. He knew why he was doing this, but it would be a disaster if the blanket caught fire. Not being able to think of the right words, he just stroked his hair a few times. He threw a few pieces of coal into the stove and ignited it. Low flames flickered and rose, brightening the vicinity in a circle.

Niah, wondering if he had been too much of a bother, kept his feet planted firmly to avoid moving from the spot he was told to stand. Then, he watched Orca.

Orca poured milk into a small pot placed on the stove. While it was boiling, he took cups out of the cupboard, returned the glass bottle to its original place in the pantry, and brought out some honey. Niah watched this with fascination. It seemed amazing to him that the young master could do things without hesitation—things that he, a servant, wouldn’t be able to do quickly. Niah’s eyes, which had only been admiring him on the inside, shone brightly in the firelight. Without realizing it, he let out a puff of breath through his nose.

“It’s almost done.”

Thinking he was acting that way because he wanted to drink it quickly, Orca scooped a spoonful of honey into the cup. Niah, who hadn’t been rushing him, felt a bit aggrieved and carefully parted his lips.

“You seem to be good at everything, sir….”

“What?”

“Umm… just everything…. Like the tea today, and the tomatoes too, and… you knew I arrived even before I knocked, so it’s amazing. I’m a goldfish, so I’m not good at anything… but you seem so great, sir. Right…?”

Even though it was one thing to be praised for a reason that wasn’t particularly great, it was quite annoying to have the goldfish blame himself while asking for his agreement. Orca let out a short, “Huh.” Even so, his motions of pouring the warmed milk into a cup and dissolving the honey continued steadily.

He didn’t delay and even put out the stove fire, choosing his words carefully in his head. The coal that touched the water let out steam. He needed to coax him with kind words, but he felt that if he opened his mouth right away, unrefined, raw grumbling would spill out.

“Niah.”