ORCA 12

Orca used his honey-slicked fingers to part the goldfish’s lips. What can I do about what’s already done, he thought.

Niah, surprised by something he had never experienced in his life, reflexively pulled his face back. As the warmth that had touched his cheek disappeared, he felt a faint chill.

“……”

It seemed to be because of the young master, who was looking down at him without a word. The sweetness remaining on his tongue was the same as the taste of the pancake he had eaten before.

“Young master. Um, I….”

Niah watched his expression. It was absurd to have dared to avoid the young master. He was in a position where he had to accept it even if the young master were to flog him. Besides, this was not as scary as a flogging.

Niah smacked his lips, trying to find the sweetness that had disappeared so quickly. Then, he cautiously returned towards Orca’s hand, which had stopped in the exact spot he had pulled away from. He pressed his cheek against the palm as if seeking affection and took the finger, from which a sweet scent wafted, into his mouth. He held it gently with only his lips, trying not to bite.

“You must listen well, Niah.”

Orca’s thick, long fingers parted his teeth and invaded deeply. They roamed around, pressing down on his warm tongue and exploring every corner of his mouth.

Niah readily offered his tongue. The fingers that rubbed and caressed places he had never touched himself were gentle. He liked the sweetness he felt, and his tongue twitched without him realizing it. He felt a strong desire to satisfy his hunger.

If he had his way, he would have wanted to grab the young master’s hand and lick it. But he barely managed to hold back, thinking his tongue would be pulled out if he did such a thing. The best thing to do was to stay still as the young master did.

In that moment, the fingers slipped out in one go. Niah, deprived of the sweetness, looked up at Orca in bewilderment. He swallowed, gulp, with a disappointed expression at the emptiness in his mouth. He slightly stuck out the tip of his tongue as if pleading for more.

Orca, at that honest face, moved the hand that had been holding his cheek to the nape of his neck. He gripped it firmly to prevent him from running away. He coated the fingers he had pulled out of his mouth with fresh honey. This time, he plunged his index and middle fingers into the glass jar at once. Then, he pried open the lips that were still slightly parted with his two fingers. He thrust them in carelessly, all the way to the root of his fingers.

He didn’t know how this situation had come about, but the act that had already begun could not be stopped. He was, for some reason, taking a tedious detour around something that would have been over already if he had just chewed and tasted it as he pleased.

The boredom that came from the peaceful mansion had lifted a layer, but a ridiculous question remained. The fact that he was already staying for the fifth day in Roselpia, where he had arrived with the intention of leaving after only three or four days, was also like that. Orca scoffed at himself.

First of all, the goldfish was definitely fun to watch. It was a kind of pleasure he couldn’t feel on the battlefield. Looking at him clinging on with his meager strength and begging, he sometimes wanted to make him cry more right away, and sometimes he wanted to just let him be and get his due later.

His shamelessness of working as a servant despite being so foolish as to forget everything from just the day before, let alone who he was, his pathetic memory of even firmly believing in a promise he had made up on his own but I had never made, his blank face that couldn’t hide the thoughts that came to his mind at all, his action of carefully pulling me with his terrified hands, his naive attitude of doing whatever he was told, the eyes that watched my expression, his curly, light orange hair, his weak and light body that seemed like it would break and burst if he applied even a little more force—anyway, watching such things was not boring. It was completely different from the slaughter or hunting on the battlefield.

“Ugh. Ugh, uuh…. Ah, uuhp….”

It was the same now. The goldfish, whom he had certainly expected to struggle and run away, was steadfastly holding onto his fingers and not breaking away, even while shedding tears. He just looked at him, his eyes red and letting out pained moans.

His two fists, clenched on his thighs, trembled. His expression was one of enduring it, regardless of whether he was rummaging inside his mouth with his fingers. He deliberately rubbed his tongue hard, pressed his throat, and explored here and there. A squelching sound came from his saliva-soaked mouth.

Only then did the goldfish hastily grab his sleeve. He was gagging as if he was about to vomit, so he pulled his fingers back about halfway and gave him a moment to calm down. The goldfish held his sleeve with one hand and wiped his wet eyes with the other.

Every time he sniffled and let out a shallow breath, his tongue, which twitched slightly, tickled his fingers. He spread his fingers to let the tongue come between the joints. As if taking that as some kind of signal, the goldfish grabbed his sleeve with both hands again and waited obediently. The action, whose purpose was not to push him away or pull out, but simply to rely on and lean on him, was somehow not bad.

“Good boy.”

Orca released the strength in the hand that had been tightly gripping Niah’s nape and stroked it gently. There was no need to hold on tight when he knew he wouldn’t run away anyway.

Niah suddenly felt sad at that gentle voice and touch. Even though he thought he shouldn’t cry, it was impossible to stop the falling tears. The young master was affectionate and gentle, but sometimes he was scary or eerie, and he was a good person, but he also seemed like a bad person.

Meanwhile, he twitched his tongue to swallow the saliva that seemed about to flow down his chin. Niah mumbled his lips, trying not to bite the fingers that were touching his tongue. The sweet taste still lingered. He had many other things to do besides that. He had to sniffle, wipe his tears, and hold onto the young master well.

Orca intended to watch until the goldfish’s busy movements subsided, so he left him alone whatever he did. He killed time by thinking things like, what would the tongue that was licking his fingers now taste like if he bit it.

Since he had just fed him honey, it seemed like it would be good for dessert. Perhaps his whole body was filled with tears and would taste salty. Then it would be better to eat it as an appetizer rather than a dessert. He didn’t enjoy either very much, but he had never eaten a goldfish before, so he became curious about what it would be like.

Orca imagined tasting Niah from head to toe. As this fantasy continued, his fingers unconsciously slipped deeper and deeper. The hand that was stirring the warm mouth and tormenting the tongue was not as violent as before, but it was quite persistent.

“Ugh, ugh…. Ah, ah…. Uuhp, uuh….”

Just as he was barely managing to compose himself, Niah was in trouble again because of Orca, who repeatedly poked his throat. It was a relief that it wasn’t to the point of making him gag. But it was very difficult to breathe and swallow saliva, and his jaw also hurt from keeping his mouth open the whole time.

He squeezed his eyes shut and endured it. He thought it would be over soon if he endured it. Contrary to that wish, the fingers came in deeper and deeper. He felt like he couldn’t take it anymore, but they kept pushing in deeper. Tears welled up in his eyes in an instant. He was scared, and it was agonizing. The hand that had been gripping his sleeve trembled and then fell, landing on Orca’s thigh.

A pathetic and faint weight touched him. Only then did Orca come to his senses. Tears were streaming from the goldfish’s tightly shut eyelids. The effort he had put into soothing him had become useless.

When he pulled out the fingers he had pushed in as far as they would go, the goldfish grabbed his thighs and coughed, cough, cough. Then he hastily brought his hands up and rubbed his face hard. He didn’t like the sight of him biting his lip and his shoulders heaving. It would be a different story if he had done it on purpose, but what had just happened was not his will.

Orca let go of Niah’s nape and wiped his fingers, which were covered in honey and saliva, on a tissue. Then he pulled down the two hands that were trying hard not to show him his crying. Niah immediately dropped his head. He couldn’t help it, afraid he would be scolded for crying when he had said he wouldn’t.

Orca gathered both of Niah’s wrists in one hand and supported his chin with the other. The face, revealed without resistance, was damp. The corners of his eyes were already red as if they had become raw. Niah avoided his gaze and fumbled to open his mouth.

“…Young master…. It hurts….”

At the sudden mention of pain, Orca raised an eyebrow. He didn’t understand right away. He wondered if he had a wound in his mouth, but seeing that there was no blood on the tissue, that wasn’t it. Was his throat sore, or was his raw skin hurting. He had no way of knowing since the goldfish didn’t continue.

If not, he also wondered if his cold had come back. He was about to ask where it hurt, but the goldfish fumbled out a plea first.

“Here, it hurts…. I’m sorry. Please let go….”

Niah fidgeted with his captured wrists. A red mark had formed where the dark blue bruise had been, and it stung when touched. It was less painful than before, but it still hurt enough that he had to rub it very gently when he washed. So he had no choice but to ask him to let go. He tried to endure it, but it didn’t work well. If he burst into tears again, he would be scolded all the same.

Orca narrowed his brow. He had an idea of where it hurt, but his lack of understanding was the same. He placed Niah’s two hands on his palm and lifted his sleeves. It seemed faster to see for himself than to listen.

“……”

There were blood bruises on both wrists. Before he could ask why it was like this, he remembered what had happened at the lake. The goldfish who had been sobbing and asking to be let go because it hurt then was now pleading to be let go because it hurt now. To think it was in such a state from being held so tightly, he no longer even scoffed at the weak and worthless body. Far from laughing, he was angry.

After his wrists, he brushed aside his hair and examined his forehead. As he stroked the scabbed-over wound, the goldfish winced and held his palm tightly with both hands. He couldn’t say ‘don’t do it’ and only fidgeted.

“I get it, so stop crying.”

“I’m not crying, young master. I’m not crying.”

Orca pulled the hands he was holding and brought them onto his own thigh. Then, instead of the wound on his forehead, he caressed the corners of his eyes and swept down his cheeks. He blew on the skin, which had become raw from tears, and said, yes, yes.

Niah liked the young master who was taking care of him so affectionately. He easily forgot what had been scary and clung on, holding the large hand tightly. He felt like he could endure anything, even a little bit of pain and hardship, if he was treated like this every time.

Other people only made him hurt and suffer, but the young master was different. In the end, he would gently stroke him as a reward. Niah leaned his cheek against the cupping palm and let out even breaths, huff, huff. He felt reassured by the warm body temperature.

After being gently caressed for a good while, the goldfish blinked its eyes and became sleepy. He was in a state where he seemed about to collapse and fall asleep any moment. Before that, he picked up a sandwich and held it out to him. The eyes that had been hazily closing opened wide.

As all the body heat he had been touching disappeared and only the sandwich remained, Niah was bewildered. He was tempted by the delicious smell and wanted to gobble it up, but he didn’t. He just stared blankly up at Orca.

“What are you just looking at.”

Even at Orca’s words, he couldn’t readily take a bite. It was true that he had been greatly looking forward to what he would eat on his way out of the distillery, but for some reason, he felt he shouldn’t eat it now. ‘She’ had said he could eat it if it was leftover, not that he should eat a new one. This was clearly not a leftover. The young master hadn’t had a single bite, nor had he sent it back on the trolley.

“The young master should eat….”

Niah offered the sandwich to Orca. His stubborn expression showed no sign of listening even if he said it was fine. If he was told to eat, he would eat as ordered, but it was obvious he would get an upset stomach and be sick. Orca had no choice but to take a small bite of the corner of the sandwich. It would be troublesome if he got sick again as soon as he got better.

“This should be fine now.”

Even after that, he hesitated and just held the sandwich, so he took the sandwich and put it in Niah’s mouth himself. Niah, who had been thinking he shouldn’t, moved his jaw diligently. He couldn’t help it, with the ecstatic taste that was different from the sweet taste of honey.

The tangy sauce, cheese, and roast beef danced together on his tongue. It was a happy taste. Moreover, every time he chewed carefully and swallowed, gulp, the sandwich was quickly placed in his mouth without a moment to feel regret. Thanks to that, Niah did not lift a single finger while eating the whole piece.

Orca, who had given him the second sandwich to eat on his own, picked up his teacup. As Niah, who had been watching his expression for a moment without eating, began to nibble little by little, he gulped down the ‘poisonous substance’. The tea had become lukewarm, so it was not difficult to drink it. Of course, it was absolutely not a taste to be savored slowly. Leaving about half of the astringent tea, he poured cream into the teacup and filled it.

“Here, this too.”

Niah was handed the milk tea. He had never had anything like this before, as he usually only managed to get a weak tea that was almost plain water. Niah took a sip, and another sip, and swallowed it little by little, overcome with emotion. He didn’t forget to say thank you while alternating between the sandwich and the milk tea.

As a result, one of his hands soon became empty. He regretted not savoring it more, but a tart filled the place of the sandwich. There was no need to hesitate now, so he put it in his mouth bit by bit. The crispy pastry and soft peaches were so delicious he wanted to scream. A chuckle escaped him.

Even after the tart came a scone, split in half and spread with clotted cream. The young master, as if it wasn’t a waste at all, let him eat all kinds of tea food. It was the first time he had ever felt so full that he couldn’t eat anymore. Finally, he drank all the milk tea without leaving any.

Then, the young master, who had taken the empty teacup and cleared it away, came over, reached out his hand, and stroked his hair. He didn’t know what he had done well to be treated so affectionately, but he wanted to do whatever the young master wanted from him better, and better. So he thought it would be nice if he caressed him a lot like now.

“Young master.”

Niah, in high spirits, lifted his head high and grinned, hehe. At the bright expression, as if he had forgotten all about crying because of him, Orca brought his other hand as well. He brushed off the scone crumbs on the corner of his mouth and cupped his cheek, and the goldfish immediately pressed itself against him without a gap.

“Young master.”

Then he grinned, hehe, again. Seeing him cling and cry was alright, but this was also not bad at all. Anyway, watching him, there was no time to be bored.