ORCA 34

“Harriet told you that you could go?”

“What? Um… no… yes… A-are you going to scold her? You can’t, please don’t… You can’t. I’m begging you, young master…”

Swallowing the lie that was about to escape, Niah shook his head. Orca was displeased to hear the name ‘Harriet’ again. He also disliked the sight of Niah pleading with him for a servant he didn’t even know. He just stared down at Niah for a long while without a word, then answered as if he had no choice.

“I won’t.”

The goldfish was instantly relieved and a smile appeared on his face. He was so easily swayed. That was why Orca had thought he was simple. He had been certain that Niah only remembered the good things and easily forgot the bad.

Had it not been for the stories that poured out last night after being held back for so long, he probably would have continued to think that way.

‘I know. I know I’m stupid. But, still, I worked hard… Why does everyone always say they hate me, say mean things, and, everyone, hurts me, and that makes me sad too, I, I don’t forget everything… I remember things I don’t like too, why, why… hic, I’m going to hate them too. I don’t like them at all. Really, not at all, I don’t like them… I hate them. I don’t like them. …You’re a liar.’

It was no longer possible to clearly judge what constituted a good thing and a bad thing for the goldfish. The more he tried to find out, the more lost he became in a labyrinth.

If it wasn’t that he forgot all the bad things, then could even the good things disappear from his memory forever? Had there been no good things in his past at all? What exactly did he remember, and what did he not? Was the reason he still remembered everything that had happened with him because it was a good thing, a bad thing, or both? How long would he remember, and when would he forget? Did he keep forgetting because he was a goldfish, or because he wanted to erase it himself? If he left, could he forget the entire season they had spent together?

There were no answers, only more questions.

The goldfish was difficult because he was simple. He was full of unknowable things because he was honest. It seemed unlikely that this conundrum could be solved even after summer passed. He had a feeling he might become the huge prey of a small, weak predator and be swallowed whole. He had a premonition that he might be crushed to death by a light orange being with no sharp edges. Nevertheless, time would flow on fleetingly. He had opened the door himself to the ‘error’ that rendered him powerless.

“Niah.”

The goldfish, who had taken on the taste of a tomato, cautiously looked up at him. When Orca straightened his disheveled hair, his lips curled inward. Even so, he couldn’t take his eyes off him. Sunlight seeped into their meeting gazes. The light-colored eyes shimmered with a golden hue, sparkling. They shone like scales in the moonlight.

“Young master…”

He couldn’t shake off the slowly descending sense of helplessness.

As soon as Orca showed interest in the seedlings, Niah came to life.

“The ones here are cherry tomatoes. And those ones over there are large tomatoes.”

“They look the same.”

“No, they’re a little different if you look closely. This part here.”

“Where.”

“This part here…”

Niah, who had been diligently explaining the differences between the two seedlings, tensed up and stopped talking. It was because of the young master, who was looking closely not at the seedling, but at him. Orca folded his body and tilted his head. A gaze full of mischievous intent stuck to Niah.

“Um… here, like this, the leaves…”

He tried to continue his explanation somehow, but gave up. His face, which had cooled down, flushed again. Niah felt frustrated, not knowing why he was being like this today. Normally, when the young master was next to him, he would get a little nervous, but the feeling of joy was much greater. But not today. He wanted to be with the young master, and at the same time, he didn’t want to be with him.

But when he imagined the young master leaving him, he felt sad. His heart felt like it would burst, then like it would tighten up and disappear, then it would pound violently, then it would stop with a thud, over and over again. He felt strange. It felt like eating the delicious clam chowder the young master had given him while facing a very angry Pepe.

“You’re ripe again. I could eat you.”

Orca poked his reddened cheek. Embarrassed, Niah squeezed his eyes shut and said, “No.”

From a distance, Pepe watched this with a dumbfounded expression. The other servants also kept stealing glances, barely pretending to work. They were desperately holding back the urge to start chattering. They couldn’t hear the young master and Niah’s conversation, but the young master could surely hear theirs.

The servants exchanged glances. Apart from Niah, no one had any interest in spring vegetables. They were all busy looking out for themselves. In the midst of that, Orca’s situation was not much different from theirs.

Tomatoes were one of the more troublesome crops to grow. Unlike peas or corn, which grew rapidly as long as they were well-rooted in the field, tomatoes required a lot of hands-on care from the moment the seedlings were first planted until the fruit ripened.

First, on the day of transplanting, you had to gently lift the middle of the garden bed to create a round, shallow spot. Then you poured water inside to soak it thoroughly. After waiting for it to be completely absorbed, you planted a tomato seedling and filled it halfway with soil. After pouring more water into the remaining space, you covered it well with soil and pressed down, and the first step of farming, planting the seedlings, was almost done.

The seedlings to be planted today were fifteen large tomatoes and fifteen cherry tomatoes, for a total of thirty. This meant that this task had to be repeated twenty-nine more times. After planting all the seedlings in two rows, a stake was set up for each seedling, and the end of the stem and the stake were tied together with a string to secure them. Only when this entire process was finished could the first day’s work be considered complete. It sounded easy, but it was a time-consuming task.

Orca’s gaze was captivated by the sight of Niah digging the soil, pouring water, and planting the seedlings. It was always fascinating to see his neat fingertips move without any unnecessary motion, getting the job done efficiently. This was the same goldfish who had a talent for making people anxious with even a simple action like moving a teacup from a trolley to a table. Sometimes, even just his walking was so clumsy it was nerve-wracking. The goldfish’s movements only became skillful when he was handling the plants he liked. Seeing that couldn’t help but be fascinating.

“…Would you like to…?”

Niah held out the seedling on his hand to Orca. His two hands, cupped like a bowl, were polite. Behind his tightly drawn-up eyelids, a faint sense of bewilderment was visible. He had just been about to plant the ninth large tomato seedling. Niah had been trying to figure out the meaning behind the persistent gaze that was observing him.

The young master had been near him a lot these days, but he had never stuck so close to his side without leaving like this. He only came close when he had something to ask, or when Niah asked him to show him something. So, this situation, which was different from usual, kept making him wonder.

Niah tried moving quickly on purpose, in case the young master had come to check if he was slacking off. He felt sorry for the tomatoes, but he rushed and planted them haphazardly. Still, his heart shrank because of the young master who stayed by his side. He also grew anxious, wondering if he had done something wrong again. With every seedling he planted, a new worry arose. Just as eight seedlings were neatly arranged in the bed, a strange thought came to him.

Could it be that the young master wants to do it too…?

“N-not this… I’m sorry. I misspoke.”

He quickly lowered his eyes in response to the young master’s silence, who just looked down without answering. He berated himself for saying something unnecessary and pulled his arms back. The ninth seedling was left stranded in a plain furrow where a spot had not yet been prepared. He regretted not just working quietly, and at the same time, he felt a little hurt. He knew in his head that he shouldn’t be like this, but his heart was showing its feelings on its own, and it was hard to hide.

I was definitely a bit strange today. My mood would soar, then plummet. The young master was the reason for it all. He wondered if it was because he had made a big mistake yesterday. It was scary that he had done something deserving of a scolding but hadn’t been punished. It seemed his heart was in turmoil because he was afraid he would be scolded later, or maybe tomorrow. If not that, he couldn’t explain why he was being like this. It felt like he had swallowed a cherry tomato without chewing. His chest felt tight and it was agonizing.

With slumped shoulders, Niah poked his finger deep into the garden bed. He began to wriggle it like a mole tunneling to make a space for the seedling. At that moment, a large palm suddenly appeared, filling his vision and blocking his finger buried in the soil.

“……”

Niah slowly raised his head, following the thick forearm. As a look mixed with disappointment and fear was directed at him, Orca just jutted his chin to speak instead of words. His expression was nonchalant. At that, Niah looked away again. After a moment of hesitation, he carefully lifted the seedling by its roots. Then he gently placed it on the waiting palm. The seedling, which fit snugly in one hand, looked small as if it hadn’t fully grown.

The soil clinging to the plant felt cold and damp. It was a completely different feeling from the sandy plains. Both were cold and damp, but for some reason, the soil on his palm conveyed a sense of warmth. It also had a scent similar to the one he could smell when he was close to the goldfish. It was natural, since he rolled around in the fields every day, whether it was a flower bed or a patch of grass. If the scent had soaked into his body, he must have liked it a great deal. It wasn’t just that he was being faithful to a servant’s duties; he always had a pleased expression when dealing with plants. There was no room for doubt when he went around with the words ‘cute’ and ‘pretty’ on his lips, giggling.

Orca found himself laying out such dainty sentiments and almost sighed at his own absurdity. But he couldn’t actually let it out. It was because of the goldfish, whose eyes were rolling around as he watched his expression. It would be troublesome if he started crying again. He didn’t want to be resented for words he had never said, like ‘I hate you’ or ‘I don’t need you’.

Soothing that was quite a difficult task. Even worse, the assessment that he was no different from the other servants came as a heavy blow. It was a troublesome emotion for someone who was just raising a single, fist-sized goldfish.

Shaking his head briefly to erase the useless thoughts, he dug into the soil just as he had been watching. A rough hand dug a deep hole. At this, Niah grabbed hold of him.

“Young master!”

It was the loudest voice he had ever heard from him. But the one startled by the sound was not Orca, but Niah himself. Taking a sharp breath, Niah quickly clamped his mouth shut and snatched his hand away. He just blinked for a while, hesitating, then added in a small voice. He was so worried that the young master might misunderstand and think he was angry that the words didn’t come out right.

“Um… not this deep… the roots, just deep enough to cover the roots, you have, have to do it.”

“This much?”

After putting back more than half of the soil he had dug out, the question that came out was casual. Niah nodded vigorously and picked up the watering can. He poured a trickle of water and quietly watched the soil bubble. Even after checking the damp hole, he didn’t know what to do and glanced sideways at Orca.

Orca, like a servant who acted swiftly in anticipation of his master’s wishes, planted the seedling and filled in the soil on his own. Niah, who had sprinkled water on the loosely planted seedling to wet it, looked at him again. He stopped his hands abruptly at the goldfish’s attitude, who seemed like he wouldn’t say a word all day if left alone. Knowing that it was a simple procedure that ended with just covering it with the last bit of soil, he insisted on being taught.

“You have to tell me.”

“Ah, uh, like this… Gently, not hard…”

Niah pushed the soil piled up next to the seedling to fill the empty space. Only then did Orca follow Niah’s lead and pat the bed. Whether it was because the seedling’s stem was thin or because his hand was big, the back of Niah’s hand was also patted along with it. Their fingers intertwined and untangled, kneading the pile of dirt.

Niah stared blankly at their overlapping hands. A sudden heat rushed through him. The sunlight was too hot for spring. The one who had said ‘gently’ was him, yet he suddenly pressed down hard. The coarse grains of soil, holding moisture, became firm.

“Then this one’s mine.”

“What?”

A resolute statement drew Niah’s attention. He snapped his head up and reflexively asked back. The statement was lacking context, very much so.

“The person who plants it is the owner.”

Realizing that Orca was pointing at the tomato seedling they had just planted, Niah became even more puzzled.

“This is, originally the young master’s… all of this, is the young master’s…”

It was an answer that seemed to refuse to accept it, but Orca didn’t explain any further. He just pointlessly patted the already firm bed.

Niah kept his ears open to him but shifted his eyes to the seedling. It was because the face he was suddenly so close to was so handsome that his already hot body grew even hotter. The low voice that resonated monotonously was elegant. The unique, cool forest scent that he could faintly sense was refreshing.

Niah, who had been unconsciously sniffing the scent, shrank his neck. It was because he thought he must have turned red again. He felt embarrassed, as if he had become a pervert just as the young master had said. What if I really turn into a tomato? A ridiculous worry occupied his mind. Sweat beaded on his forehead. It felt like summer, not spring.

Orca, who was watching the goldfish who seemed busy in his own thoughts, suddenly scooped up a handful of dirt. Then he sprinkled it over Niah’s hand, which was right next to his. When he pressed down lightly as if planting a seedling, a small hill was neatly formed. Niah froze, unable to do anything. The sudden playing with dirt was just bewildering.

“Should I plant you here?”

The young master was only saying difficult things today. He couldn’t figure out the meaning at once. It felt like he was being teased for being stupid, and also like he just couldn’t understand because he was stupid. For some reason, he felt intimidated.

He wondered if other goldfish were as foolish as he was. If they weren’t, he felt troubled, and on the other hand, he was envious of the goldfish that would be smarter than him. If he were smart too, he might have been scolded less by Pepe, and disliked less by Andrian, and maybe even praised.

The young master did tell him he did well sometimes, but that wasn’t enough. He worked diligently every day, but the young master only praised him very occasionally.

Quickly disheartened, Niah wriggled under the cool hill of dirt. He dug into the ground like a mole and finally confessed honestly. He had thought about it hard, but he couldn’t understand what it meant at all.

“I don’t really know what you mean…”

Orca waited patiently until this utterly hollow answer came out. In the meantime, he had messed up the garden bed soil quite a bit, but thankfully the seedling was safe.

Niah belatedly realized that he was almost planted in the garden. A sound similar to a gasp escaped through his teeth. The young master and playing with dirt didn’t go together. Orca paid no mind and patted the rounded top.

“If I plant you here, I think you’ll grow the fastest.”

Realizing he was being teased, Niah ripened faster than any tomato, just as he had said. A fire spread from inside his body, making him hot. He thought he was hot because of the heat, but that wasn’t it. He tried to calm it down somehow, but instead, he was engulfed in a sweltering heat. His heart pounded loudly, as if it would explode with a bang.

“See. You’re all ripe.”

Orca tapped his nose with his index finger. A little bit of dirt smudged onto it. If the goldfish had been born in the sea, he would have been a peppermint shrimp, a barnacle, or an orange coral. Weak, harmless, and slow creatures that were outside his interest. Barnacles were a bit drab, so a peppermint shrimp or coral seemed appropriate.