ORCA 46

Orca asked, still gripping Niah by the chin.

“Why did you come? It’s late, why aren’t you sleeping?”

“Ah… that, well… um…”

Niah, who had naturally expected to be scolded, let his voice trail off. The fact that the young master wasn’t getting angry at him for disobeying orders made him even more anxious. His frightened tongue retreated back into his mouth. When he rolled his eyes toward the window instead of giving a clear answer, Orca’s gaze naturally shifted in that direction as well.

Niah had muttered something earlier about wanting to bring him something, and it seemed that flowerpot was the reason. Orca wondered if he had come all this way just to deliver that. Whatever the reason, if the goldfish had intended to come and go without being caught, he truly had no capacity for learning.

As Orca watched the flowerpot in silence, Niah began to babble, not knowing if it was an excuse or an explanation. He struggled on his own, rambling fervently.

“It’s a Stuckyi. I was growing it in the greenhouse… I take care of it, and I thought it would be nice to have it here… No, that’s not it, I… I wanted to give it to you, young master… The… the new shoots have grown quite a bit, so I wanted to give it to you… Ah, um… well, it was originally yours, but still, I went every day and cherished it…”

Orca had his full attention stolen by the small voice sounding right in front of him. Even so, he remained preoccupied with brushing his thumb over the corner of Niah’s eyes and smoothing his hair. His touch was meticulous, sweeping over every inch of him. As if to leave a mark, he rolled his fingers over the earlobe to tease him, then slipped down the neckline to grip the nape of his neck.

The slender neck fit entirely within one hand. It was as fragile as a weak Linaria stem, as if it could snap at any moment. His eyes glinted with a sudden flash. His fingers, caressing as if saving trapped prey, or perhaps tightening the hold even harder, were relentless.

Niah submitted quietly. He was too busy trying to find the words to speak; he had no room to gauge how Orca was looking at him or how he was treating him. He spilled out his thoughts in a jumbled mess, waiting for permission.

The anticipation, masquerading as patience, swelled larger as he continued to talk. It smelled sweet and savory, like a muffin in an oven. However, if he became intoxicated by the fragrance and let his guard down, he would surely burn to a crisp in an instant.

Niah’s pupils fluttered back and forth, centered on Orca. His vision flickered rapidly, the result of blinking incessantly because no response was returning.

“I went every single day, so, I thought it would be nice if it was in your room. It’s the prettiest pot, and it’s rooted well, too. It doesn’t take much effort. You just need to water it occasionally and, well, it grows well on its own as long as it has sunlight. So, so…”

Niah blurted it out indiscriminately. His breathing grew as rapid as the plausible excuses he had concocted. It felt as if he had spilled a handful of small beans inside his chest.

“I want to grow it here…”

The request he truly wanted to make finally leaked out cautiously at the end. Niah, his eyebrows drooping, hunched his shoulders. After saying it himself, he felt intimidated.

Orca narrowed his brows at the sight. It bothered him deeply that Niah was trying to make his already small frame even smaller. What if he just disappears entirely like this? A ridiculous doubt took hold of his mind. The weight of this goldfish was no different from a dandelion seed, easily blown away by a single gust of wind. He was light enough to evaporate at any moment.

He tightened his grip on the nape of Niah’s neck. He tried to hold him as gently as possible, but his body didn’t move as intended. He found the uncontrollable sensation unpleasant. A sharp pain bloomed in his solar plexus. Whenever he had the goldfish in front of him, his thoughts turned into a chaotic mess. It was the same right now.

The emotion that usually moved in a straight line now began to curve, eventually turning sharp. It boiled up from the base of his spine, surging uncontrollably. His self-control hit rock bottom.

“You came for this, didn’t you?”

In an instant, Niah’s body tilted forward with a lurch. The rough tug pulled the thin skin under his chin taut. His face, pulled upward, drew even closer to Orca’s. Niah looked at him with a mix of budding fear. He couldn’t avoid it; he had to face him.

The pupils that had been biting into his anticipation were now charred pitch black. Only the sound of their shortened breathing traversed the narrow gap. Niah clamped his mouth shut, shaking his head instead of answering. Because of the hand cinching his neck, even that movement was minimal.

“Or is it something else?”

Orca pulled Niah closer as he pleased. It wasn’t a gentle treatment. It was clear that if he kept this up, he would truly break him or leave behind another cluster of purple bruises. Even though he knew he should let go before that happened, his thoughts and actions were at odds. It would have been better to just call him in tomorrow with some ordinary excuse.

The unexpected situation shook him at will. The feeling of losing control was not pleasant.

Niah was gripped by the fear that his neck might be torn away. He felt like a carrot in a vegetable patch. If he were pulled any harder, he felt he would be yanked right out of the ground. He had to say something to the young master, but no words would come readily. The eyes he met were colder than the frost at dawn.

He gritted his teeth and clamped them shut. He was terrified that the moment he opened his lips, he would burst into tears. He could tolerate being scolded for being noisy, but he hated the thought of being driven away. In the end, he could only shake his head, gasping for air. He couldn’t move well, but he shook his head with all his might. With no room for deep thought, responding with a desperate “no” was his best option. Whatever the reason, he certainly hadn’t come to see the young master angry.

“Young master. That’s not it, that’s not what I meant…”

Niah tried to straighten his back to endure, but failing that, he shifted his hips. Because of the forced, uplifted position, even staying still was exhausting. Tilting his head slightly was the only movement permitted to him. His heart thundered, and his breathing turned ragged, as if he had been sprinting. His chest heaved rapidly.

He poured his weight onto his knees, struggling to endure just as he was told. In the process, the hand that had been clutching the hem of his clothes fell into the void. The sight of him flailing, wanting to lean on something for support, was pitiable. His other hand remained trapped, unable to move, held fast by Orca.

Whether Orca knew his plight or not, he repeatedly tugged at Niah, urging him on. It was closer to venting his anger than pressing for an answer to a question. In the first place, it wasn’t even a proper question. He was simply dominated by sharp, unidentifiable emotions.

He stared at Niah, slicing him open with his gaze. He was angry. No, he was seized by excitement. It had been fine when he held the goldfish’s hand and placed it on his bed, but now, everything was different. There wasn’t a single place in him that wasn’t boiling. The small body he had captured staggered every time he pressed him.

“Young… ah… Young masteeer…”

Niah, who had been suppressing the pain, finally let out a moan. As he poured out the encroaching agony, the worry he had tried to push aside came rushing back. The regret of having started this needless task poured out in a sudden, overwhelming wave. At first, because he had been stroking his hair, he thought he wouldn’t be scolded, but that had been a mistake.

The young master was angry. That was even more terrifying than the bones and muscles screaming in pain. A hot heat rose to his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, young master… I was wrong…”

“…”

“I, I just, I wanted to see you… That’s why, I came. …I was wrong.”

The plea continued like a sob. The hand that had been gripping his neck as if to break it finally retreated slowly. The body that had been suspended in the air, trembling, settled back down. Niah, having lowered his head just in time to avoid being yanked, curled up into a ball.

As Niah breathed in ragged gasps, he suddenly rubbed his face against his sleeve. Wiping away the pools of tears at the corners of his eyes, he secretly twitched his nose. The thin, sobbing sounds piled up near Orca’s chest.

Each time he wiped away his tears, the shadows shimmered. His hair, closely resembling the faint orange light, also fluttered as if complaining.

Orca watched the gently swaying crown of his head. His curly hair was like a fluffy nest on a tree. The neckline, where the bones protruded, was mottled red. It was a vivid color, like an autumn tree. The marks, clearly visible even in the dim light, bothered him.

“Niah.”

He called out as if sighing.

“Go back now.”