ORCA 24

The goldfish now began to beg for me to let him go. The way he looked up at me, even without me asking, was desperate. I regretted not doing this from the beginning. This was the easiest and fastest way.

Fearing that he might faint again from crying like this, I stroked the back of his neck gently. I had intended to soothe him, but the goldfish’s fingers only trembled more violently as he sobbed. The blood pooled in his palms flowed down his forearms, soaking his sleeves and staining his shirt.

Looking at it now, the two small hands supporting my injured hand were also covered in blood. Compared to others, I don’t know, but compared to mine, they were ridiculously small. This insignificant thing had been holding me up. His pale, drained skin matched well with the bright red blood. I liked that the blood was mine.

“Please…. Sob, let me, go…. The, the blood… it keeps, so much like this, hee, hic…. If the young master dies… what do I do if you die…. I don’t want it, no….”

If he were to die from just this much, I would have already died dozens of times over on the battlefield. It was laughable to hear who was worrying about whom, to the point that I couldn’t even feel the pain. It was a trivial wound that would be perfectly fine in three or four days.

But the goldfish kept pestering me about what he would do if I died, waiting for me to let him go. The crying, which had been annoying only minutes ago, now sounded pleasant. I wasn’t even angry at his refusal. As I kept my mouth shut, his two feet, which had calmed down, began tapping against the carpet again. He craned his neck as if urging me, desperately searching for “Young master.”

His face, believing that I might really die, was twisted in a pitiful way. Watching the goldfish, covered in tears because of me, made the muscles in my abdomen tighten.

“Yes, Niah. It might hurt so much that I could die. It’s strange not to die when I’m losing this much blood, don’t you think?”

“Th-that’s why…. Quickly, I, quickly, hee…. Why, why won’t you let me go, ugh, please, why….”

Orca pressed the nape of Niah’s neck, who was trying to pull back, toward himself. Even then, as his legs wouldn’t stop fidgeting, I narrowed the gap between our dress shoes and trapped his feet as well. The two pairs of shoes were neatly aligned.

Trapped with no escape, Niah could do nothing. When he tried to force his way out with his meager strength, his thighs were pinned between Orca’s knees. Finally, unable to move even a little, Niah whined repeatedly for me to let him go.

He was terrified that the young master might really die like this. He didn’t want to never be able to meet the young master again—the one who gave him so many delicious things, stroked him with such kind and gentle hands, called his name every day, and even asked if the bruises on his wrists were okay.

“Young master…. No. Please don’t die…. H, ugh….”

“It’s a punishment. A goldfish that doesn’t listen must be punished.”

At the sentence that ended decisively, Niah’s round eyes became even rounder. The expression, which I thought couldn’t possibly look any more tearful, crumbled completely. He didn’t want to receive a punishment like this. It was a truly terrible punishment.

Niah couldn’t answer, his lips twitching as he lowered his head. He let his tears drip into the blood-red puddle visible before his eyes.

Orca merely stroked the pale neck revealed above the collar with his thumb and traced the protruding knuckles of his spine. It seemed like it would take a long time for any weight to reach his skinny frame. The amount I had fed him over the past few days seemed to have had no effect.

“Please, give me a different, different punishment. I, anything else…, hee…. I’ll do, anything, everything. I’ll endure it well…. I don’t want this, young master…. Ugh, I didn’t, intend to, not listen. Really, h… it’s not. I didn’t do it on purpose, I, every single day, …cleanly, and today too… sob, I worked really hard to come to the young master, I washed…. Ugh… hee, but, because I was afraid you’d say you hate me, to me, just, just…. The young master….”

Orca, who had been listening carefully to the rambling story, lowered his upper body as much as he could. He pressed his lips to Niah’s ear and whispered softly. Even then, his hand stroking his neck did not stop.

“Clearly. So I can understand.”

As the softened voice reached him, Niah curled his neck even further. This resulted in him leaning his head against Orca’s chest. Orca waited patiently in that position until a clear answer came. As I stroked his soft skin with the goldfish’s whimpering as music, the waiting was not boring.

But Niah was only impatient. I had to wipe the blood and get the wound treated, but because of me, the young master couldn’t do anything. I had to tell him quickly, but I hesitated to say it directly with my own mouth. It was a word I had heard often but never said myself.

The servant who had held his nose and left saying “fishy smell” rummaged through my head. Even while I was stammering and hesitating, the young master still smelled of a good fragrance. As I took a deep breath of the scent, like a breeze blowing from the forest, the smell of blood also mixed in strongly.

Niah, who had dug into Orca without realizing it, squeezed his eyes shut. His supporting hands were clutching mine preciously.

“The young master… might, hate, h…. Might hate me, and tell me, hee…. tell me not to come anymore….”

Even with the answer he had managed to offer, Orca’s doubts were not resolved. In a sentence where only the results were listed, there was no fundamental cause. I wanted to know why, how, and because of what he came to have such thoughts, but he only rambled on about not wanting to be hated by me.

Furthermore, that he had washed so hard to come to me was something I couldn’t grasp at all. It was an answer that only deepened the mystery.

“Why would I?”

I asked back, straightening my bent back. I also made the goldfish look at me again. The goldfish, whose face was raised by my own will, moved his eyes here and there to avoid my gaze. Until a moment ago, he had been struggling to run away, but now he was docile.

As I rubbed the back of his head for doing as I said, tears sprang forth around his eyes. They sparkled like dew, clinging to his eyelashes as he blinked—blinked—as if in deep thought. The goldfish opened his mouth to stammer, still not looking at me.

“B-because, to me…. Ugh… I, I… hee, smell fishy….”

“What?”

Orca, who had been pleasantly stroking his hair without caring about the wound on his hand, scowled at once. With the mention of having washed hard, the situation finally clicked. It was obvious that it was the work of the servants, regardless of hearing more.

Behind the words and actions that had angered me, there was a goldfish who had been bullied somewhere. That fact was deeply unpleasant. It was irritating to see him act like an idiot, believing it straightaway and crying. On the other hand, the fact that he was worried about being hated by me because of it was somewhat tolerable. It wasn’t bad.

“You say such nonsensical things as if they were true. Niah.”

Niah did not react much to Orca’s nitpicking. Because he had hesitated for so long, his interest was focused only on the blood that had welled up enough to overflow. I had almost become dazed by the hand tenderly stroking the back of my head, but I stubbornly pulled myself together. After bringing out what I wanted to hide so badly, my head felt clear. My thoughts transitioned faster than usual.

Now was not the time to be happy and overjoyed that the young master was stroking me. It was not the time to think about the servant I met in the basement. I still had work left to do. I had to leave the room quickly. Niah, thinking his explanation would have been enough to clear up Orca’s misunderstanding, concluded on his own.

Niah, having pulled only one hand away from the back of Orca’s hand, hastily rubbed and wiped his cheeks and around his eyes. If I stayed like this, I might really end up receiving the young master’s punishment. I hated that very, very much, and it was too, too terrible.

If the young master told me not to come because I smelled fishy, I thought it would be okay as long as he stayed in the mansion. Then, I could at least see him secretly, but if I were punished, I wouldn’t even be able to do that.

On top of that, I didn’t want the young master to be in pain. The wound on the young master’s hand was much worse than the wound Pepe had inflicted on my forehead. Surely the young master would want to sob as well. So, I wanted to go treat him quickly.

Niah wiped away his tears repeatedly. Inside, he vowed that he wouldn’t let the young master punish him.