JKA 49

“How cheap.”

Jiwoon muttered softly. Would it have been better if he had told me he liked me, if he had told me he would stay by my side because he liked me? Knowing it was an presumptuous desire, the thoughts continued, one after another. Jiwoon, with the hand that had been vigorously rubbing his cheek, unconsciously stroked his own lips.

When he had finally managed to shake Zeo off and came out after washing up in the bathroom, he was tidying up the messy bed. The way he removed the sheet from the mattress and arranged the blanket with his back turned to him was neat and without any superfluous movements. His attire was also the usual suit he always wore. Jiwoon, watching such a Zeo, moved stealthily to grab his clothes and get dressed.

He wore a short-sleeved t-shirt over a turtleneck that covered his entire neck. Even if someone asked why he was dressed like that, there was nothing he could do. It was too hot to wear something like a hoodie, and if he wore just the turtleneck, the bumps on his thin chest were too prominent. Finally, when Zeo, who had finished tidying the bed, turned around, Jiwoon was sitting on the floor, putting on his socks.

At that moment, Zeo walked briskly toward Jiwoon without a word. Jiwoon, who couldn’t even stand up abruptly because of his sore back, raised his head and foolishly looked up at Zeo. Then Zeo cupped the sitting Jiwoon’s head, pulled it up slightly, and bent down deeply to kiss him.

Their tongues lightly intertwined. It was a short kiss, but it was so deep and rich that he was momentarily surprised and all the strength drained from his body. Even after Zeo’s lips had parted, Jiwoon stood there with a dazed expression, his wet lips slightly agape. Zeo smiled at such a Jiwoon. Then he roughly ruffled his hair.

That was clearly physical affection. Jiwoon had never once wished for Zeo to kiss him at that moment, nor did he think he would die if he didn’t. Zeo left the still-dazed Jiwoon, put the messy sheet into a large bag, and left the house first. Jiwoon was still just blinking his eyes until then.

Was that really Zeo? As Jiwoon fiddled with his lips, that suspicion suddenly arose. Did the angel change last night? Could it be that Zeo, disgusted and fed up with me having wet dreams about him every night, had disappeared, and another angel had filled his place? If not, a person couldn’t change so suddenly like that.

No, was it not sudden? Although it was sporadic, his memory from the masturbation in the bathroom until he fainted was clear. At that time, Zeo had repeatedly asked him if he remembered their previous conversation. Let’s say the original angel left and another one came, but would they really hand over such private conversations? He didn’t think so.

Even if they went that far, it didn’t seem likely that a new angel would go to such lengths. It wasn’t something an angel would do. Of course, Jiwoon had no way of knowing what constituted something an angel would do. Because from the very beginning, he had thought that everything Zeo did to him was un-angel-like.

Everything was complicated, but in fact, it was only complicated in his head; Zeo’s actions were rather straightforward. No matter how many different assumptions he added and attached various reasons to his actions, the conclusion was singular. There was only one reason for Zeo to go this far with him. Reaching that point, Jiwoon felt so ashamed of his own existence.

‘Since when?’

It didn’t seem to be from the beginning, so when did it start? If it was just that he hadn’t noticed, then it made sense why he had gotten so incomprehensibly angry when Jiwoon said he wanted to help Hanbyeol. Seungyoon had been right. That person, well he isn’t a person but… isn’t it possible he likes you?

Thinking about it now, how ridiculous had his past actions been? Not realizing anything, the sight of him saying he had a wet dream about him was, even to his own thinking, ridiculously absurd. Asking about things like preferences, repeatedly asking about the name he didn’t have, and even asking if he liked him. Later, he had even gotten angry while pushing away Zeo, who had transformed into Hanbyeol’s form.

So now, he had to change the question. To be precise, he had to turn its target, the tip of the arrow, away from Zeo and toward himself and ask.

“Do I… l-like him?”

That angel? Jiwoon, properly targeted by the question that had finally found its place, blinked his eyes with a blank expression. Only then realizing that everything had been wrong, Jiwoon just blinked, his face so red it could no longer be hidden by just rubbing it with his hands.

So in the end, everything he had done was insane. It was like he had gone crazy, screaming that he liked him so much. After realizing that fact, he wanted to dig a hole and hide in it if there was one. The words—name, preference, dream—all jumbled together messily and filled his head, but they all evaporated with the single realization that he liked him.

He had just realized all of this, but in fact, deep in his heart, he had known this fact, and so, what if a complaint had been filed as usual? Jiwoon was now possessed by a different thought. What if he had thought that he liked Zeo so much he could die, what if Zeo had read that?

“Wow… I really want to d…”

I want to die, Jiwoon, who was about to say that, quickly clamped his hand over his mouth. No, I can’t. If I think that I want to die, all the thoughts currently filling my head will be transferred into writing, and Zeo must not read that. But isn’t it already too late the moment I thought of those words? Just as he was thinking that, something cold touched his cheek.

“Ack!”

Jiwoon yelped in surprise and turned his head. At that, Hanbyeol, who had playfully brought the cold Americano to Jiwoon’s cheek, stepped back slightly as if he were more surprised.

Hanbyeol quietly observed Jiwoon, who, after shouting, just blinked at him, unable to say anything. It was strange how he was just sitting there blankly, not even noticing someone approaching. Wondering if something was wrong, he naturally sat down in the seat next to Jiwoon and looked at his face, which was abnormally red.

“Why are you so startled? Are you sick somewhere?”

Only then did Jiwoon, at Hanbyeol’s question, come to his senses and shake his head. He wasn’t sick anywhere. If he had to say, his mind was sick. His head was throbbing. It was just something cold touching him for a moment, but it felt like someone had bashed him over the head.

“You’re not… Your face is so red. No, why are your eyes so swollen?”

Jiwoon couldn’t answer right away and swallowed hard. The reason his eyes were swollen was obvious. It must be because of what happened last night. Thinking that if he recalled any more, his mind would really break, Jiwoon deliberately changed the subject.

“I-I was, uh, r-reading something a-at night.”

“Ah… You read the script?”

Drink this, Hanbyeol said, pushing the Americano in front of Jiwoon. Since Jiwoon had started helping him with video editing, Hanbyeol would always buy him something to drink for every class. Even when he said he didn’t have to, he would insist, saying it made him feel more at ease.

“A s-script?”

“Yeah. The one that club sunbae sent.”

“Ah, oh. R-Right. That.”

Jiwoon answered evasively. The truth was, the script hadn’t even been on his mind. The sunbae with whom he had exchanged numbers right after the midterm exams had sent him a script. He had read it, but he was busy with various things, and above all, his mind was complicated right now, so there was no room for something like a script to squeeze in. But that was his impression now; when he first read that script, that screenplay, Jiwoon had quite liked the content.

The story was sad, that one. Jiwoon nodded his head as he fiddled with the cold Americano cup Hanbyeol had given him. Above all, there were quite a few parts of the story he could relate to. The main characters were twins, and the story began with the older brother’s death. In fact, it was a setup that couldn’t help but stir his emotions, so regardless of whether the story was good or bad, he couldn’t help but deeply empathize with the protagonist’s feelings.

“I was a little worried after reading it.”

Hanbyeol said carefully, and Jiwoon said nothing. He just fiddled with the water droplets condensed on the cup’s surface with his fingertips.

“I-It’s just, you know… a st-story. The, the plot was just a little sad, that’s all.”

“That’s a relief, then.”

Hanbyeol was worried that Jiwoon seemed to be pretending it was no big deal, but he didn’t voice it. He felt he shouldn’t press the issue when he was trying so hard to act fine with his face in such a mess.

Of course, since the script wasn’t the cause of Jiwoon’s messy face, Jiwoon wasn’t pretending to be fine, he was really fine. There were elements that touched upon his inner self here and there, but the story in the script was different from his own.

“But if they’re tw-twins, doesn’t the p-protagonist have to play b-both the older brother and himself, a dual role?”

“I actually contacted the club president sunbae as soon as I read the script and asked, you know? But they said no.”

“R-Really?”

It might have been meddling, but Hanbyeol had worried about that part as soon as he read the script. Of course he would support Jiwoon if he offered to take on a dual role, but he thought that if the sunbaes pushed for it, he might have no choice but to accept.

“They said they cast a separate actor with a similar vibe.”

Hanbyeol said, drinking his Americano.

That statement sounded like a commitment to cast Jiwoon for sure, which was concerning, but whether to appear or not was a decision for Jiwoon to make, not him. However, for some reason, the phrase ‘a similar vibe to Jiwoon’ bothered Hanbyeol. He hadn’t asked in detail, but he wondered if such a person was common.

On the other hand, Jiwoon didn’t seem to pay much attention to those words. Before long, the empty classroom filled up with students, and Jiwoon and Hanbyeol attended the class without much conversation. Jiwoon would occasionally fidget or furrow his brow as if something was bothering him, but that was all, so Hanbyeol didn’t press him.

“Ah, the demon isn’t showing up?”

Hanbyeol, who had come to the student cafeteria with Jiwoon, nodded and answered.

“Yeah. I guess ignoring him worked. It’s been a few days since I’ve seen him.”

“…Really?”

“I was swamped because of midterms, so it worked out well. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry.”

“D-Didn’t he d-disappear too s-suddenly?”

“That’s true.”

It was certainly strange that the demon, who had not only followed him around persistently but had also forced his way into his dreams, had disappeared in an instant. It was suspicious enough to think he had some other trick up his sleeve, but so far, there had been nothing of the sort.

Actually, he hadn’t told Jiwoon every little detail, but Hanbyeol had been having a really hard time because of the demon. Not only because of the things he whispered, but because the way he carried himself was truly a sight to behold. Especially the form he took in dreams was beyond words. Not only did he put on all sorts of shows while naked, but he also often appeared disguised in different forms.