JKA 32

Although he could explain everything with words, he had never once empathized with it deep in his heart. Societal norms, cultural ethics, and the like were things he had only crammed into his head as concepts, and all he did was mimic the many humans he had observed, making expressions, speaking, and acting. Therefore, 1129 thought that he might be like a well-programmed machine. The meaning of his existence was also like that.

The time when he thought that was strange, that it shouldn’t be that way, was probably around when he cut off one of his wings. For an angel, wings were a result of good deeds, a symbol of power, and at the same time, a repository of memories. There must have been a good reason for him to tear off something that constituted half of himself so nonchalantly, but 1129 only remembered everything from that time as fragmented scenes.

“Why was I angry?”

Perhaps even then, he had been terribly angry. It was possible he had cut off his wing because he hated it. Even though he knew he was a distinctly different being from humans, the lower the number in their name, the more human-like an angel became. 17 was like that.

However, he himself had existed for a time incomparably shorter than 17. 17 must have existed from an incredibly remote time, from when beings called humans did not exist. He was in no position to be compared to him. The number 1129, unlike 17’s, was not received in order of existence but was a number inherited from a being that had disappeared.

“But when I look at you, all of that feels meaningless and ridiculous. Look at this, you, in the end…”

“…”

“You’re not pondering why I was angry. Why should I, when you yourself don’t, be so absorbed in it.”

1129 suppressed and swallowed the emotion that surged up again in that moment. What should this emotion be named? He rummaged through his memories, again and again, as if searching through files saved on a memory card. But not a single one matched perfectly with this feeling he was experiencing.

“I, it’s not that I didn’t ponder it.”

Jiwoon said, stammering with a raspy voice from having just woken up.

“The result of the pondering…”

“…”

“W, was so ridiculous.”

“How so?”

“…”

“Is there anything more ridiculous than this current state of yours?”

There was nothing more ridiculous than the sight of him eating well the meal that had been prepared when 1129 was gone, doing the dishes uncharacteristically, and then lying down and sleeping soundly. He did not look like someone in deep contemplation. As far as he knew, those who were in intense contemplation did not lie down and sleep so carefreely, having wet dreams and the like.

As if he were a being whose disappearance wouldn’t matter at all. When his thoughts reached that point, 1129 wore a dazed expression, like someone who had been hit over the head with something.

“I was on the phone with sunbae… an, and while talking about what happened earlier, he said something ridiculous, so I, I also did some thinking of my own, you know?”

“…”

“But no matter how much I thought about it, it didn’t make sense, no. I thought that something like that could absolutely never happen. My head got all jumbled up, so I just did a little work and then went to sleep, and in my dream…”

“…”

“You, you were there.”

Jiwoon had no capacity to study 1129’s face. So he was busy just pulling his t-shirt down further and further, trying to cover his lower half, which still held some heat. The heat remaining in his body flared up again, sizzling and rising to the top of his head. His vision spun so much that he couldn’t even distinguish between what he should and shouldn’t say.

“I, I could be mistaken. I’m probably definitely mistaken.”

“…Stop.”

“Do you maybe like me…”

In that moment, 1129 grabbed Jiwoon’s head as if snatching it, pulled him in, and kissed him.

The kiss was startlingly deep and rich. 1129 pushed Jiwoon so fiercely that he couldn’t say anything more. His struggling hands beat against 1129’s chest and pushed him away, suffocating, but he did not stop. His tongue pushed past Jiwoon’s parted lips and stimulated every part of his mouth.

“Hut!”

Each time their lips parted briefly, Jiwoon shivered and panted for breath. But that was also brief; 1129 climbed onto the bed, pressed Jiwoon’s body down, and got on top of him, grabbing both his wrists and pushing them up.

As if his hands were tied to the headboard, Jiwoon was trapped in 1129’s embrace, unable to move. Perhaps because it felt so unreal, as if he were still in the middle of a dream, heat began to pool in his lower half again. Jiwoon moved his legs alternately, scraping the bedsheets with his toes. It was a movement just like in his dream.

1129, while continuing the kiss that still felt like an assault, simultaneously held both of Jiwoon’s hands in place with one of his. Then, with his free hand, he lifted Jiwoon’s legs and had them wrap around his waist. Jiwoon trembled and, finding it too hard to breathe, whipped his head to the side. Only then did their tightly locked lips part, and he could finally let out a choked breath.

“What did I say in your dream?”

1129 asked, glaring at Jiwoon, who was panting with a flushed face, as if he would devour him. At the question, Jiwoon, his mind already a chaotic mess, pondered what answer he should give. However, 1129, as if to give him no time for that, grabbed Jiwoon’s chin and turned it.

“What on earth did I say that made you cum in your sleep like this?”

“…Th, that’s.”

“Did I tell you I liked you or something?”

At 1129’s blatant question, Jiwoon’s eyes widened. In the dream, he had not said anything like that to him. Jiwoon had merely fallen asleep while wondering if he liked him, if Seungyoon’s words were true, if that was how it looked to others, and had simply recalled the day he first met 1129. He just thought that it happened to be that kind of moment.

“Was me telling you I like you so good that you pissed yourself like this?”

“No, ah… Ah!”

1129, unlike his usual self, hastily shoved his hand into Jiwoon’s pants. His cold hand instantly gripped Jiwoon’s core. At the sensation, Jiwoon unknowingly squeezed the legs wrapped around 1129’s waist. 1129 pressed down harder on Jiwoon’s squirming hands and rubbed his rapidly hardening penis.

“Fuck, you came so much…”

“That’s, haht! Not it… wait, aah! Let, let go, please! Ughhh.”

His nether regions, having ejaculated a full load in his sleep, were extremely sensitive. The heat from his body transferred to 1129’s palm, which was devoid of any warmth, but it still felt as cold as ice to Jiwoon. However, his already fully aroused cock showed no signs of softening. On the contrary, its head just lifted even more stiffly. It was because Jiwoon was used to that degree of coldness.

An embarrassingly erotic sound rose from his lower body. Every time he rubbed the slick wetness below, the sound echoed in the quiet room. The squelching noise of the thick, viscous liquid rubbing together invaded his ears and then his mind, sticking to them cloyingly.

“Tell me. What fucking bullshit did the me in your dream spout.”

“Stop, st, op!”

“Stop what. What should I stop?”

“…”

“What would you like me to stop?”

Jiwoon couldn’t even understand half of what 1129 was saying. His lower body, chafed by the rough touch, felt as if it were on fire. Only after the movement, which was accompanied by the urge to cum, pleasure, and a dizzying pain, suddenly stopped, could he finally catch his breath and face 1129. His blue eyes were shining like a wild beast’s. They were eyes that looked as if they could kill him depending on what answer he gave.

It was the first time such a clear emotion had formed in 1129’s eyes, and it was also the first time Jiwoon had read it. It was the result of his hair, which had been obstructing his view, being gone, and 1129 fully revealing his emotions. Jiwoon panted, unable to take his eyes off those eyes, as if mesmerized. It was a truly beautiful face. To the point that it was unbelievable that this person was doing such a vulgar act on top of him.

So Jiwoon reached out with his now-free hands and cupped his cheeks. Then, he unknowingly pulled his face closer. 1129 was led meekly by Jiwoon’s hands, and Jiwoon clumsily placed a kiss on his lips. It was distinctly different from the kiss that 1129 had launched like an assault. It was just a light kiss, their lips barely touching and parting.

“I, I don’t want you to stop anything.”

“…”

“I’d like it if you… told me everything. Without hiding anything from me, just. Like before, if you tell me why you were angry. It would be good to know.”

“In your dream… did I say that? That I wouldn’t stop anything?”

“…”

“Or did I say I would be honest with you?”

At 1129’s question, Jiwoon shook his head. At that, 1129’s expression crumpled fiercely.

“I was just, thinking about whether you li, liked me, and then.”

“…”

“I, I had a dream about doing it.”

“How?”

The voice, devoid of anger, was sweet. It was a very sweet and gentle voice, the kind you would hear on the radio. Jiwoon listened to that voice ringing in his ears and answered as if possessed.

“Th, there’s not much to how, you just looked at me.”

“…I just looked at you?”

“…Yes.”

“Ha, ha.”

1129 lowered his head and let out a hollow laugh in disbelief. So just by looking, just by meeting his eyes, his lower half had gotten this wet and messy. Then, he recalled his first meeting with Jiwoon from his memories. That gaze, stained with a mixture of anticipation and fear.

“How nice would it be if your head could keep up with your body.”

“Ye, yes?”

“That answer is the best you can do, right?”

“…”

“Then this must be the best I can do too.”

1129 said that and moved his hand, which he had shoved into Jiwoon’s pants, quickly. At that, Jiwoon’s face, which had been wearing a look of incomprehension, contorted, and his tightly clenched teeth parted. His legs, which he couldn’t close, thrashed wildly, and the hands wrapped around 1129’s neck tensed up. 1129 yielded his head as if being embraced, following the pull of Jiwoon’s tightly gripping hands. Then, Jiwoon’s moans came through clearly by his ear.

“Ahheut, ah, eugh! Wai, t… aah!”

“Be louder.”

“No, way. No, heuu…”

“I said be louder.”

He etched every single one of the trembling and frantic movements within his arms into his mind. It was different from before, when he would observe Jiwoon’s reactions one by one and move in the way he liked best. 1129 focused solely on hearing and remembering Jiwoon’s moans.