JKA 7

‘…Huh?’

‘If there’s a friend, and then there’s a bro-friend above that, I’m neither of those, I’m more than that… so I don’t think of you as a friend. No matter how close you are, you don’t get curious about your friend’s balls.’

Jiwoon’s eyes were glazed over, his reason was gone, and his mouth was running loose. A truly crazy bastard, how could anyone understand what he was saying. He wished Hanbyeol had punched him in the face right then and there, but sadly, that did not happen.

‘…I wanted to try confessing at least once. I can do that much, can’t I…? I just wanted to try.’

Tears welled up as he said those words. So he tried to cry, but what came out was not tears but vomit. All the things he had hidden away spilled out onto the thighs of Hanbyeol, who was sitting across from him asking if he was okay.

Maybe it was because what he wanted to convey was not the pure heart of liking him, but the ugly truth that he wanted to strip his pants off. To think he had thought about it seriously, and all throughout the break at that.

‘I want to die.’

Clang, clang. Jiwoon dropped his head low and let out a hollow laugh like a man whose death sentence had just been handed down. As his shoulders trembled, Hanbyeol, thinking Jiwoon was crying, reached out to him in a panic. At that moment, Jiwoon lifted his head, looked at Hanbyeol, and said.

“Are you crazy?”

“Huh?”

“Why would you think about that seriously… There’s a limit to how nice a person can be, this is just insane.”

Today is the day I jump for sure. There could be no such thing as happiness in a life like this. It was not because Hanbyeol did not accept his confession. This whole situation was just totally fucked up.

It was then. Suddenly, the sound of something shattering came from somewhere. Jiwoon and Hanbyeol, surprised, as well as all the other students sitting and eating, turned their heads toward where the noise came from. What they saw was a winged man who had broken through the large plate-glass window and entered. A man with one wing missing, at that.

“You malicious complainant. Please stop thinking about wanting to die so much. What the fuck is this?”

“You crazy…”

Jiwoon blinked his eyes as if he could not believe it. The angel, who had poured out a torrent of curses while looking at Jiwoon, strode over and said.

“Complaint 1129, latest submission received… You fucking psycho. How should I deal with you?”

‘You know you’re supposed to go straight to hell if you get one wing cut off, right?’

1129, indifferent, was picking his ear with a defiant posture. You go ahead and babble, I’ll go my own way. He wore exactly that expression, so 17, sitting in front of a desk piled high with a mountain of documents, was simply dumbfounded.

‘That’s grounds for severe disciplinary action. No, you can’t even call it disciplinary action. It’s the kind of thing that usually happens when angels get into trouble. Because they cut off all their wings and kick them straight down to hell. But you did that with your own hands?’

‘There was a reason for it.’

‘There was a reason for it? Ha, fuck. This psycho bastard, this one. How was this one born here? Did you lobby? Did you bribe someone? How can you be born an angel with a mindset like this?’

‘If they lobby, is that even an angel?’

‘That’s what I’m saying, you crazy bastard! Why did you cut off your wing, why? No, and where did you leave the wing you cut off? Are you Anpanman?’

Watching 17 who was completely losing it, 1129, who let out a ‘ha’ and laughed, had a face that showed he had no idea of the seriousness of the situation. No, it was more correct to say his expression showed he did not care either way.

‘The way you say it makes it sound like I tore off my head.’

‘Why didn’t you just tear off your head? So you couldn’t come back at all?’

‘Does an angel die from getting its neck cut off a bit?’

‘Alright, I’ll kill you today.’

At that moment, four large wings spread wide behind 17’s back. At that, the baby angels who had been fluttering about—flap, flap—hurriedly grabbed onto 17 and began to stop him. They were called baby angels, but in truth, they were all at least 200 years old. Still, by heaven’s standards, they were newly born apprentice angels and baby angels.

Chirping like chicks—cheep, cheep—they cried and clung to him, saying, ‘Calm down,’ ‘Don’t be angry,’ ‘Don’t curse.’ Unable to bring himself to shove away the baby angels, 17 swallowed the rage that was welling up toward the insolent 1129. Even angels born just yesterday did not act this arrogantly. But 1129, who had lived for a thousand years as if it were nothing, was far too immature.

It was a mystery how he had managed to maintain his title as an angel until now. Even knowing that it was an angel’s duty to conform and follow because everything was His will, 17 sincerely thought of 1129 as a wrongly born angel and His mistake.

‘A third wing was just around the corner, 1129. You wouldn’t say you don’t know how precious each and every feather on the wing you cut off is, would you?’

‘…’

‘You know full well how many angels are born and disappear over and over again, yet you have no sense of gratitude at all. To cut off your own wing is to become a fallen angel. There’s only ever been one other angel like you!’

‘Did he cut it off himself? He cut it because he was told to. Anyone would think he cut it because he wanted to.’

‘That’s the problem. You cut it because you wanted to. No, if you want to go to hell, you can just apply for a transfer. Then they’ll collect your wings for you, and you can go find your aptitude, so what is this nonsense?’

‘Because I don’t want to.’

‘What?’

‘I don’t want to be an angel or a devil, me. Did I ask to be born?’

‘…’

‘I’m saying I don’t want to be an angel, a devil, or a human at all, but you don’t listen, do you? Then what choice do I have?’

17 was so dumbfounded he could not even speak. His legs gave out completely and he slumped down—plop—and the baby angels did not know what to do, once again circling above 17’s head—cheep, cheep—and chattering among themselves.

‘…Fine, whatever. Let’s say that’s the case. What did you do with the wing you cut off?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘How does that make sense?’

‘Should I carry it around then?’

‘Hey!’

Just as 17, unable to contain his anger, shouted so loudly the building shook—rumble—a single ray of light suddenly descended upon his head. When the light touched his forehead, 17 let out a heavy sigh, bowed his head deeply, and then raised it. It was a revelation.

‘1129.’

‘…’

‘You are demoted to the Civil Complaints Processing Department.’

‘…Excuse me?’

‘Go and collect happiness equal to the number of feathers on your severed wing. If you do not…’

The revelation was absolute. So even if he could not understand or accept it right now, it was something that had to be done. To 17, it was utterly incomprehensible, but he managed to open his mouth and continue.

‘He says He will give you five more wings and make you His secretary.’

‘…You son of a, bitch.’

‘Hey, you bastard. Do you know what an honor that is?!’

17, his face beet red, pointed his finger at 1129 and delivered a passionate speech.

‘Even with the number 17, I’m still stuck in the 102nd-floor office! But 1129, a mere thing like you gets to snatch a secretary position with six wings in total? And as a punishment, no less?’

But from 1129’s perspective, living in close proximity to Him was a greater punishment than anything else. He listened to the prayers of humans, angels, and even demons, yet his own prayers had been on do-not-receive for hundreds of years already, without any answer.

‘He says that if you cut off the rest of your wings because you don’t want to do it, He will turn you back into a baby angel, sit you on His lap, and coddle you. Ah damn, I’m so jealous I could die…’

‘What a dogshit situation…’

‘Shut your mouth!’

‘…’

‘1129, if you don’t want to work in the Civil Complaints Processing Department without even one wing, go now. No matter if it’s a revelation, I can’t stand by and watch the coddling of a baby angel. At that point, I’ll sentence you, wingless, to a thousand years of round trips from the ground to the 300th floor, so you’d better understand!’

‘Then let’s do that.’

‘Get lost, get out now!’

With 17’s furious shout, 1129 fell straight down to the 3rd floor. The 1st floor was the Gate of Heaven, the 2nd was the checkpoint, so the 3rd floor could be considered the workplace for angels closest to the ground.

But to say it was a workplace for angels was putting it nicely; the 3rd floor was one of the departments to be avoided, where one had to listen to confessions until one’s ears bled, sort them, organize and report them, or handle the flood of complaints directed toward Him.

It was there that 1129, who had cut off one of his own wings for an unknown reason, was assigned. And so, according to His will, 1129 descended upon a malicious complainant. Fuck, a crazy human who was partially paralyzing operations by filing insane numbers of complaints over nothing. That was Myeong Jiwoon.

“Fuck, this is personal revenge. I can’t even report this anywhere.”

There were no labor unions or labor departments in heaven. It was only natural. All angels happily accepted their missions and never thought of all the work they did for others as ‘work.’ It could be seen as the mindset of a true messenger of God.

In the first place, they did not feel physical fatigue, and although they might feel mentally tired from time to time, they thought of it all as something they should endure as messengers of God. Angels are not human. They were not simple creatures made by Him, but rather, could be seen as crystals formed from the purest good, closest to God.

So how incongruous must the existence of 1129 be? He harbored questions he did not need to have, thought like a human, and acted like a human. He even went so far as to cut off his own wing later, making one wonder if this being was truly born in the midst of good.

“Why decide you want to die all of a sudden when you could just eat your meal quietly? You were going to break the window and jump?”

“D-don’t act like you know me!”

This was really something else. He already could not lift his head, and in the middle of all that, a crazy bastard who broke through the window was acting like he knew him. He did not have the courage to shout, ‘I don’t know this insane person,’ so all he could do was glare at the angel and tell him not to act like he knew him.

1129 was dumbfounded. He had handled one complaint and was thinking of taking a break, so he had gone back to Jiwoon’s house, but annoyingly, he was all out of cigarettes.

“I told you I wouldn’t let it slide if the cigarettes ran out at home. How much do I do for you, and you can’t even do that one thing right, you half-wit bastard.”

1129, who had been poking Jiwoon’s head here and there with his fingertips, turned his gaze from him as he swatted at his hand as if shooing a gnat, glanced at Hanbyeol across from him, and then spoke again in a sharp voice.

“Do I look like a pushover to you?”

“…”

“It’s that bastard, right?”

“…N-no, it’s not!”

“…”