JKA 37

Hanbyeol seemed to be asking someone other than Jiwoon. It was understandable, as his gaze was averted from Jiwoon.

“It’s the only way I could be, and I don’t want to live like this, so when they say things like that, what am I supposed to do. That’s what I thought. So I kept looking into people’s eyes, trying to understand the meaning behind their words. I did.”

“…”

“I would have rather they just called me pitiful and gave me some money.”

He hated the father who had made their home this way, and when he found himself suddenly resenting his mother even though he knew it wasn’t anyone’s fault, even words of encouragement from others felt like shackles. This situation wasn’t his fault, yet it felt as if they were telling him to never even think of running away.

If you run away, your family, your mother, and your younger sibling will become even more miserable. So you have to do better. There were times when it sounded like that. Hanbyeol understood deep in his bones that this was not an exaggeration, but the truth. But he often wanted to run away.

“Sleep on the bed. I’ll sleep in the living room.”

“Oh, no… I’ll.”

“I usually sleep in the living room. I’m more comfortable that way.”

At that moment, Jiwoon remembered something Hanbyeol had said before. That his father sometimes barged in to demand money. Perhaps that was what had driven Hanbyeol not to the bed in his room, but to the living room.

Unlike himself, who was always in his room, maybe Hanbyeol had chosen to go out and lie down, to monitor everything. Jiwoon felt like he could now understand a little why Hanbyeol had said they were similar.

“I, I’ll sleep with you!”

Jiwoon shot up, pulled the pillow from the bed into his arms, and stood in front of Hanbyeol.

“I, I can get angry for you if so, something happens, too.”

“…”

“Because we’re friends!”

Episode 24

Hanbyeol, who had been looking a bit dazed at Jiwoon’s words, soon broke into a smile. Then, as if imitating Jiwoon, he repeated what he had said a few times, asking if he was some kind of shonen manga protagonist. In response to the teasing, Jiwoon pushed Hanbyeol firmly with the pillow he was holding.

In the end, the two of them laid their blankets out side by side and lay down in the living room. It felt strange to be lying right next to each other on the floor, not in a somewhat separated space like a bed and the floor. It felt a bit like being on a school trip. But for Jiwoon, school trips were not very pleasant memories.

He hadn’t even attended every time, so the school trip in middle school was his last. It was because he wasn’t too keen on moving around in groups of a few people. To put it simply, it was because he didn’t have any friends.

Besides, he had been worried that lying next to Hanbyeol might give him strange ideas, but surprisingly, he felt nothing at all. Other than the unfamiliarity of the space, it was just like usual. He also wondered if he might have a strange dream like last time, but for some reason, he felt like he wouldn’t.

“Don’t you have to tell that angel you’re sleeping over?”

Hanbyeol, who was lying on his back staring at the ceiling just like Jiwoon, asked, and Jiwoon replied while looking at the same spot.

“Ah, he probably knows, don’t you think…?”

“I guess so.”

“…”

“Is he following you?”

“That part… I don’t kn, know for sure. Whether he knows because he’s following me, or if he, just knows.”

“Well, he’s not human.”

Hanbyeol said and closed his eyes. Jiwoon turned his head to look at Hanbyeol. Then, suddenly feeling like he wouldn’t be able to ask if not now, he carefully brought it up.

“Yo, you haven’t told me everything either, have you?”

“…What?”

“Like me… one or two things.”

“…”

“So, about that.”

Jiwoon turned completely onto his side toward Hanbyeol and asked, his voice lowered as much as possible.

“A, among the wishes that demon grants, ma, maybe… your, your dad.”

“You said you have an afternoon class, right?”

Hanbyeol spoke without even opening his eyes, and at that moment, Jiwoon was at a loss for words. Hanbyeol slowly opened his eyes, turned his head, and whispered to Jiwoon.

“My mom is a really light sleeper.”

“…”

“Next time.”

“…”

“I’ll tell you next time.”

Hanbyeol said this and turned his back to Jiwoon to lie down. Jiwoon watched him, then righted his own posture and lay looking up at the ceiling. He felt that Hanbyeol probably wouldn’t tell him that story. He had a gut feeling that even if they were left alone together in any other place, even if they laid everything else bare, he wouldn’t talk about that one thing. He didn’t know why, but it felt so certain.

Jiwoon, who had left the house with Hanbyeol for his morning lecture, found himself loitering in front of his studio apartment building, somehow unable to go straight inside. He thought about wandering around near the school like yesterday before heading to class, but now he was truly desperate for his own bed.

Jiwoon, who had tossed and turned, waking up several times in the unfamiliar bed, opened his eyes at the sound of someone moving around very carefully, but he kept his eyes shut and pretended to be asleep until Hanbyeol came out of the shower. He felt that if he got up, they would end up having a conversation, and he didn’t think he’d be able to get the words out.

Jiwoon, who got up a good while later, ate the breakfast his mother had prepared with Hanbyeol. Then he also greeted his younger sister, who was hiding behind Hanbyeol. Her name was Haneul. Haneul didn’t readily speak to him, but she kept circling nearby, observing him. Then, if their eyes met, her face would turn bright red, and she would run away.

It would have been nice to strike up a conversation naturally, but Jiwoon himself was no good at initiating conversations with others, so they didn’t talk much. She was in elementary school, he recalled. If so, his communication skills could be considered to be at about that level.

Hanbyeol’s mother moved slowly as she prepared the meal, but from her perspective, she had prepared it in a great hurry. Hanbyeol and Haneul naturally helped her. Jiwoon felt like he should do something too and hesitated, but Hanbyeol just sat him down and told him not to do anything.

It was a simple meal of stew and a couple of side dishes, but Jiwoon finished a truly delicious meal. While they ate, Hanbyeol’s mother asked various questions, and Hanbyeol answered for him in between so that Jiwoon wouldn’t be put in an awkward position. It was only when he was putting his empty bowl in the sink that Jiwoon managed to difficultly say that it had been very delicious.

In fact, the words had been lingering in his mouth since before he even finished eating, but it was hard because they wouldn’t come out readily. However, the moment she kindly asked if he had eaten well, Jiwoon found himself able to answer obediently without realizing it. It was a strange thing.

“Come visit anytime,” she had said. It was all good until he got off at the bus stop in front of the school with Hanbyeol, but the problem was that when he tried to return to his own studio, his feet wouldn’t move. Still, with slow steps, he somehow managed to arrive in front of his home.

If he just went inside, he could get some sleep before his afternoon class. He was tired enough to fall asleep right away, having tossed and turned all night and having left the house early to match Hanbyeol’s morning lecture. What a sight, worrying about whether to go into his own home when he was right in front of it. In the first place, it didn’t really matter to 1129 whether he slept out or not, yet he couldn’t understand why he felt so self-conscious.

‘There was no way to contact him anyway.’

It wasn’t as if his studio had a landline, nor did 1129 have a cell phone. It was an unexpected night out, and if 1129 had found it strange that he hadn’t returned, he would have been perfectly capable of finding out where he was.

Thinking about it more would only make his head hurt. It would be enough to simply say he slept over at Hanbyeol’s house. But there was still one thing that bothered him. It was when 1129 had told him about his best, or something. He had said that was his best at the time, but he still didn’t know what it meant.

After much deliberation, just as Jiwoon was about to enter the building, he suddenly heard a familiar voice from behind him.

“What are you doing not going in?”

Jiwoon jumped in surprise and turned around to see 1129 standing there, holding a large bag. The sight of him still dressed to the nines in a suit with his hair slicked back, holding a bag no different from a shopping basket in one hand, was somewhat comical. Looking closely, the bag was full of neatly folded laundry.

He had often complained that if he unfolded the drying rack and hung the laundry in the small room, it was already cramped to death, but it would get in the way and be annoying. Even after using the right amount of detergent, adjusting the fabric softener, and trying various methods to get rid of the musty smell of laundry, drying it inside the room often resulted in having to wash it all over again.

The result of 1129’s own trial and error was to use the coin laundry. To be precise, he enjoyed using the dryer. It was unclear how he spent the awkward gap between washing and drying. The only time he had gone to the laundromat with him was when he first met 1129.

He never brought back even a single piece of laundry from the dryer carelessly. He always folded it neatly and brought it back packed tidily in a cloth bag so that he wouldn’t have to touch it two or three more times. It wasn’t very far, but it wasn’t close either, and he’d wondered how he traveled that distance; it seemed he walked like that. He’d thought he flew with it.

“A, aren’t you heavy?”

At Jiwoon’s question, 1129 just strode over and held out the bag he was carrying in front of Jiwoon. Jiwoon took the bag without thinking. It was heavier than he expected, and the arm holding it sagged downward.

“Hold it.”

1129 said that and walked past Jiwoon, entering the building first. At this, Jiwoon also began to awkwardly follow him up the stairs. 1129 said nothing as they climbed to the fifth floor, and Jiwoon started to get out of breath around the third floor. He was definitely out of shape.

1129, who arrived at the front door first, opened the door wide for him, and Jiwoon went inside, set the bag down, and took off his shoes. The house was, as always, clean and well-organized. Jiwoon’s eyes swept over the familiar interior with a fresh sense of wonder. It was funny that such a sight had become familiar.

“What are you doing, help me organize.”

After closing the door and coming inside, 1129 saw Jiwoon standing there blankly and looking around. He picked up the laundry bag he had set down and placed it in front of the clothing rack again as he spoke. At 1129’s words, Jiwoon finally came to his senses and sat down next to him. Then 1129 separated the clothes that needed to be put on hangers and the ones that should go in the drawer and told him.

“The weather’s too hot, so I had the knitwear dry-cleaned separately. The house is small, so when it’s time to get them out later, organize them all and send them to your family home or something.”

“T, to my family home?”

“Then are you going to pile them all up like you used to?”

At 1129’s scolding, Jiwoon shut his mouth. He had just thrown out a whole batch of clothes that had been ruined due to poor care, even though he hadn’t worn them much. But the clothing rack was still full of clothes he didn’t wear. They were all clothes his mother had sent.

Whenever the seasons changed, Jiwoon’s parents would buy clothes and send them. They could have just sent money, but they did this as if they knew very well that Jiwoon wouldn’t buy things like new clothes with the money they sent. Clothes, shoes, even underwear. Among Jiwoon’s possessions, there was almost nothing that Jiwoon had bought for himself.

“While you’re sending them, tell them properly. That even if they send clothes, you don’t wear them.”

“…”

“One person is living in a studio apartment, but there are hundreds of articles of clothing. And more than half of them are brand new clothes that have never been worn. That shoe rack over there is overflowing with shoes too.”