LLU 41

Even at the very least, don’t people take their pet dogs kept at home out for regular walks? Choi Junghan is truly viciously unwilling to let me out into the outside world. Of course, I also think that not going out at all is a hundred times better than walking side by side with Choi Junghan among those flowering trees.

“Want to go look at the flowers at least?”

Choi Junghan approached holding two mugs and asked in a kind tone. I glanced at him. He had just showered and was wearing comfortable clothes. Today was Sunday, a day off for Choi Junghan.

The steaming mug was handed to me. I remembered the times I had thrown away the coffee or tea he gave me a few times and had been tormented to the point of nearly dying, so I quietly accepted it. It was herbal tea.

“…Choi Junghan.”

It must have been around the time the month changed from March to April. Starting from that period, I had been agonizing over these words the entire time, and now I called his name to finally say them.

Choi Junghan, who had been about to casually sit on the sofa, turned his head toward me. He looked slightly surprised at first, then soon gave a faint smile.

“It feels like the first time you’ve called me first.”

“Let me see Mom once.”

I got straight to the point without beating around the bush. No matter what sweet words I tried to use, they would not work on Choi Junghan anyway. There was virtually no chance of winning or persuading him with words—he was the one who wielded a devilish tongue with three inches of silver.

“I haven’t seen Mom’s face even once since she gave birth… She must be worried.”

“I’ve been regularly updating her about your well-being.”

Choi Junghan’s indifferent voice cut me off.

“I also explained that you’ve been so busy with department studies, part-time work, and dating that you haven’t been in touch much. And that you decided to live with me, so the dormitory was simply canceled.”

“……”

“Your mother is recovering comfortably like a queen. They’ve got sitters hanging around her day and night. Is there anything else you’re curious about or want me to pass on?”

“…Just once, let me go.”

I had expected it would not be easy. Licking my lips that were drying up tightly, I looked at him anxiously.

“I’ll do whatever you tell me to do. Just let me see her face. She gave birth, so I should at least see her once, right?”

“Hm.”

“…If you’re worried, you can even assign security guards.”

“I don’t want to waste manpower pointlessly.”

“If even that’s not okay… then… go with me.”

Sweat pooled instantly in my clenched palms. This was honestly a last resort I had not wanted to use, but right now I was not in a position to pick and choose.

“…A family gathering or something like that is fine too, so just… let me see Mom.”

I had to meet my mother first. That was the conclusion I reached after agonizing for several days. So I even uttered words I had thought I would never say with my own mouth until I died.

A family gathering. Just a few months ago, when Chairman Choi had used that word at the villa, I had coldly sneered at it.

“This is beyond imagination. Our Oonie’s filial piety is something else.”

Choi Junghan smiled faintly.

“Weren’t you upset seeing Mom cradling the new little sibling? And yet you still want to see her?”

“…I miss her. Let me see her.”

It did not matter what he mocked me with. His provocations truly meant nothing to me anymore. I lowered my gaze, repeated the same words, and then firmly shut my mouth.

Because I had made a vow.

That when I met my mother, I would tell her every single thing that had happened to me.

Until now, I had thought I could not shatter my mother’s happiness. I had wanted to let the woman who had raised me alone her entire life suffer at least a little comfort in this way.

That was why, during the months when the child was growing steadily in her womb, I could not tell her about the things Choi Junghan did to me. Even on the day I risked everything to escape, I had gone all the way to the hospital room door and turned back.

Because the sight of my mother holding the baby and Chairman Choi tenderly standing by her side had been so beautiful. It looked so perfect and even sacred that if someone like me interfered, the warm peace pooled in that scene would shatter with a crisp sound.

After that, while trapped and abused in Choi Junghan’s space, I thought and thought again. And a few days ago, I reached a different conclusion from the one I had before.

What my mother was clutching was fake happiness. It was as empty and vain as a mirage. It was no different from building a splendid sandcastle in front of waves crashing like a tsunami.

There was no way she could form a normal family with someone like Choi Junghan. His interest in me showed absolutely no sign of fading.

As long as he held my entire existence in his grip, was there any guarantee that my mother and the baby would remain safe in the future? Choi Junghan would blatantly place their existence on a scale in front of me, weighing it this way and that, and enjoy it endlessly.

So I had decided not to back down anymore. No matter what happy appearance my mother showed, I would not be afraid to shatter it. Because it was fake. Because it was beautiful yet fragile like a glass cup, something that would shatter into pieces with just a twitch of Choi Junghan’s finger—a falsehood.

To do that, I first had to persuade Choi Junghan. Today I intended to do everything he ordered. If he told me to crawl over like a dog and suck his cock, I would do it. If he told me to spread my hole myself and spout lewd words, I would gladly do so.

But unexpectedly, Choi Junghan answered readily. With a handsome smile that seemed painted on.

“All right. It might be nice to show the brothers getting along for once.”

The car veered off the main road and entered a quiet, spacious alley. This area, lined with several luxurious mansions, was always silent.

I glared out the car window at the mansions standing aloof, as if completely unrelated to the outsiders fiercely fighting over even a palm-sized plot of land on this narrow piece of earth.

Choi Junghan’s family home came into view ahead. At the same time, it was also the place where my mother was staying. My mother, whom I had not seen in months.

My feelings were complicated. I wanted to see my mother overwhelmed with happiness, yet as someone who had to go shatter it, I did not want her to look entirely at peace. Since I would have to take something away from her anyway, I hoped she would not be too heartbroken.

Could I be a little more honest? Somewhere along the way, resentment toward my mother had mixed into that complicated heart. Could my mother, who had led me to meet the man who pushed me into hell, really be allowed to enjoy happiness alone so calmly? While I was suffering like this.

I had thought that at times. But no matter how painful it was, my heart could never become cruel in the end. The sharp resentment that sometimes surged up soon blurred as if diluted with water.

My unhappiness was sharp and vivid like a blade, but I could not use it to attack my mother. My pain burned clearly like roaring flames, but that did not mean I ever wanted to scorch my mother’s happiness.

Sweat kept seeping into my palms, and I repeatedly clenched and unclenched my fists. I tried to breathe in and out slowly so it would not show, when Choi Junghan’s voice suddenly cut in from the side.

“It’s just going for a meal, so why don’t you relax a little?”

“……”

“You look like you’re heading off to sacrifice your life for some grand cause.”

It felt like words spoken with full knowledge of something.

His firm, solid hand reached in and took mine. A chill ran down my spine, and I jerked my hand away. But Choi Junghan persistently took it again.

Afraid that if I refused once more he would tell the driver to turn the car around right now, I endured it quietly. Choi Junghan was more than capable of doing so. Finally, as if satisfied, he curved his eyes into a gentle smile.

I had come here solely to achieve my goal. After sitting around the family table pretending to have a harmonious meal, I planned to say—in front of everyone—that I wanted to go out alone with my mother for the first time in a while.

No matter how crazy Choi Junghan was, even he could not block me and my mother from going out in front of everyone. Once the two of us moved to a safe place, I would tell my mother everything that had happened.

The shock would be great, but I would comfort and persuade her well. It would be really hard, but I would tell her to escape with me now. That I should have told her long ago, but seeing her happy, I had not had the courage until now.

That it had been a button fastened wrong from the beginning, a connection that should never have been made. So now let us cut it off and return to our old life…

It would not be easy. It would be an incredibly difficult thing for my mother too. Unlike before when she had nothing, now there were so many things she would have to let go of.

But from the very start, their relationship had been built on a premise that made it impossible to hold. No matter how long we clung to it and tried to untangle it, it would only lead to the wrong answer.

We had already come too far, but before we drifted irreparably farther from a normal life, we had to turn back.

No matter how much my mother loved Chairman Choi and loved her newborn son, she could not form a family with a stepson who had raped her biological son. She should not become the wife of a man who kept such a monster as a son.

The car stopped. The driver pulled into the garage, and Choi Junghan and I slowly crossed the garden toward the main house.

“It’s been a while, sir. You haven’t been coming to the family home much lately.”

The staff member waiting at the entrance greeted Choi Junghan warmly. He handed over his coat and bag familiarly and smiled softly.

“I’ve been a bit busy lately.”

“The chairman is waiting inside.”

Her gaze landed on me for a moment and then fell away. I reflexively bowed my head and avoided her eyes.

It was a look that contained no emotion at all. Yet suddenly my heart began to beat unnaturally. My pulse pounded so hard that my fingertips tingled.

As I slowly took off my shoes, I tried to trace where this sudden surge stirring inside me was coming from. Was it because it had been so long since I met someone who was not Choi Junghan? What exactly had the three or so months trapped inside that fortress-like penthouse taken from me?

“You should go in.”

A gentle touch landed on my back where I had stopped. Ironically, the one pushing me forward again—when I had halted in front of the reality I had to face because my heart felt too heavy—was the very person who had stolen my life.

Clenching my fists tightly and regulating my breathing, I raised my head. Together with Choi Junghan, I walked toward the living room where my mother would be waiting.

“Oh my, the kids are here, honey!”

“Come on in! Junghan-ah, Oon-ah.”

A lively commotion erupted. My mother and Chairman Choi rushed out with flushed faces.

The vast living room that had once felt like a stark art gallery had completely changed. Thick baby mats, colorful mobiles, a crib. To anyone who saw it, the scene overflowed with the cozy scent of a family home.

Just as Choi Junghan had said—that she was recovering like a queen—my mother’s complexion looked remarkably good. Although it had been a little over a month since she gave birth, she looked far too fresh to be seen as a mother still in recovery. Seeing her like that, relief and anxiety rushed in at the same time.

“Come here, Oon-ah! Oh, this kid…”

My mother came straight over without hesitation and hugged me so tightly I could hardly breathe. From her came a soft, elegant fragrance I had never smelled on her before. At the same time, something like the sweet scent of formula wafted over, and I suddenly wanted to cry.

“They say raising a son is useless in the end, and it really is true. You went off to university and then no contact, no visits. Don’t you think that’s too much? No matter how important club or department meetings are, does it make sense not to come even on the day your mom gave birth?”

At the endless stream of complaints that stung my ears, I could only manage a weak smile. It was a situation I had fully anticipated, and I had steeled myself repeatedly before coming. I told myself not to crumble at words like these from my mother.

“…I’m sorry. I was just… really, really busy.”

“How busy could you possibly be? Are you at least eating properly? Sigh, really… It’s a good thing Mr. Junghan has been with you.”

“That’s enough. Let Oonie be, honey. Kids are all like that at this age. After studying his whole life and finally going to university, how could parents possibly catch his eye?”

Chairman Choi spoke generously, then approached the approaching Choi Junghan, took his hand in a firm handshake, and lightly patted his shoulder.

“You too, Junghan. Are you handling all the company work alone, you punk? You don’t even come to the family home anymore.”

“Haha. It’s not just work—I have to take care of our Oonie too.”

The horrible, base truth hidden in his affectionate words was known only to me. A chill ran down my spine, and I glared at him without realizing it. My mother and Chairman Choi nodded with smiles, completely unsuspecting of the monstrous true nature of Choi Junghan that would soon be exposed.