Vol 6 Ch 4

Inseop finished getting ready for bed and lay down. As he pulled the sheets over himself, a wave of fear and worry overwhelmed him.

 

What if my memory never returns? …I miss Mom. Dad, my siblings, Will… Jenny… Why did I come to Korea?

 

‘You came to Korea to study. You got in touch with me, so you decided to visit as well.’

 

The man handed him a university student ID. Not remembering anything, Inseop fiddled with the ID for a while.

 

‘You’ve been in Korea for a while. Don’t force yourself to remember. For now, just focus on recovering without overexerting yourself.’

 

Although he nodded quietly, he couldn’t shake the anxiety. When he asked if he could talk to his parents, the man handed him his phone.

 

‘What about mine?’

 

‘It got damaged in the accident. Use mine for now.’

 

While Inseop hesitated, the man unlocked the phone and dialed a number in the U.S.

 

‘Don’t mention the accident. They’ll worry.’

 

As the phone rang, the man advised him. Inseop nodded in agreement. The doctor said his memory would return soon.

 

After several rings, his mother’s groggy voice answered.

 

‘Mom….’

 

He almost burst into tears. It felt like he had woken up in a different country, even a different time. Everything was unfamiliar and confusing, …and he was scared.

 

‘Peter? Sweetie, why are you calling at this hour? You always call on time.’

 

‘Just… I just wanted to hear your voice.’

 

‘Alright. You can call whenever you want. Should I get Dad?’

 

‘No. It’s okay. I’ll call again later.’

 

‘Okay. …Is everything alright? Peter?’

 

‘Everything’s fine. …I love you, Mom.’

 

‘I love you too. You know that, right?’

 

‘Yes. Now go back to sleep.’

 

After the call ended, Inseop quickly stood up, saying he needed to wash his face. He didn’t want to cry in front of his supposed brother.

 

He ran the water in the sink and cried for a long time before returning to the living room. The man handed him a glass of water without a word. Inseop thanked him quietly and took the glass. His throat was dry from crying, and the cold water tasted incredibly sweet.

 

If calling from Korea didn’t surprise his mother, it must be true that he came to Korea on his own.

 

“But it still feels strange….”

 

He had always had a vague interest and curiosity about Korea. However, having lived his whole life in the U.S., he had never thought of himself as Korean. Let alone the idea of living in Korea….

 

Is there some other reason? Is there something important I can’t remember that brought me to Korea? I have to remember. Somehow, anything….

 

…I’m scared. I just want to go home. Whatever is important, can’t I just go home? Will…. …Mom, Dad…. I want to go home….

 

Inseop couldn’t hold back the rising sobs and pulled the sheet over his head. The tears he had managed to suppress finally burst out. In the hospital, he was always with the man, so he couldn’t cry freely.

 

“Ugh… sob….”

 

Despite trying to stifle his sobs, he couldn’t hold back the tears that burst forth. At first, he thought this might be a nightmare. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t wake up from this awful dream. He tried to act mature in front of his younger brother, but he was just confused and overwhelmed.

 

“Huh… sob… uh….”

 

What should I do? What should I do next?

 

Just then, the sheet was pulled back. The man, holding a book in one hand, clicked his tongue in a disapproving manner.

 

“I knew it would be like this.”

 

“…Oh….”

 

There was no time to wipe away the tears. The man sighed and lifted Inseop up, sheets and all.

 

“Don’t cry.”

 

It was a gentle voice. Strangely, every time he heard the man’s voice, it felt like a part of his heart was crumbling. It wasn’t just a feeling of reliance or intimacy.

 

“Why are you crying alone under the blanket? It makes me sad.”

 

The man murmured to himself as he patted Inseop’s back. Listening to him, it felt like his heart was melting into a puddle. Uncontrollable emotions overflowed. His chest felt tight and heavy… he just wanted to keep crying.

 

“Don’t cry. Everything will be okay… okay? It’ll be alright.”

 

Inseop nodded. Tears flowed down his cheeks. The man sighed deeply and cupped Inseop’s face with his large hand.

 

“Why are you crying? What’s so scary?”

 

“…Just….”

 

After waking up, it felt like he was all alone in an unknown place. He was lonely, scared, and bewildered, wanting to cling to anything.

 

Inseop grabbed the man’s arm and spoke, his voice trembling.

 

“I don’t know. I don’t remember anything… Korean is hard… I want to go home….”

 

The man hugged Inseop tightly. His strong arms squeezed so hard it was hard to breathe.

 

“Ah, wa, wait….”

 

He wanted to ask him to let go.

 

“Everything will be alright.”

 

Until he heard the man’s words.

 

“Everything will be alright. Your memory will come back, everything will get better. I promise. I’ll help you… I’ll help you, so don’t cry.”

 

It was strange. The man was telling him not to cry, that everything would be okay, but it sounded like he was pleading.

 

“So… don’t leave.”

 

The man whispered in a low voice. The man who was taller and seemed so perfect was pleading like this. Feeling a rush of tenderness and pity, Inseop swallowed hard. The man rested his forehead on Inseop’s shoulder and whispered repeatedly in a low voice.

 

It’ll be okay, don’t cry, don’t leave, stay here with me… I’ll help you. It’ll be alright.

 

Inseop finally realized that the man was also bewildered by this situation. They had reconnected and met as siblings. They must have been close. The man had taken care of him in the hospital and had willingly offered his home.

 

For the first time, Inseop recognized that the man before him was his younger brother. He slowly reached out and patted the man’s head. The man took a slow breath.

 

“…I’m sorry.”

 

“……”

 

“I only thought about myself…. You must be confused too. …I’m sorry.”

 

He apologized cautiously, his voice still trembling with tears. The man lifted his head. His intense, probing gaze roamed over Inseop’s face.

 

“I’m Lee Wooyeon.”

 

“What?”

 

“My name.”

 

Inseop nodded slightly. Lee Wooyeon. It was a name he had heard called out by middle-aged men in the hospital. He had thought it suited him well back then too.

 

“I’m Peter… My Korean name is Choi Inseop.”

 

“I know.”

 

The man paused for a moment before continuing in English.

 

[Shall we speak in English? Whatever you’re comfortable with.]

 

He had said he wasn’t fluent in English, but his pronunciation was perfect. Inseop hesitated for a moment before shaking his head.

 

“No… I can speak Korean. I learned it.”

 

“Alright. You’re good at it.”

 

The man murmured to himself as if talking to himself.

 

“…This really feels like we’re meeting for the first time.”

 

The man smiled slightly, his eyes lowering. Inseop thought the sound of his short laughter was pleasant.

 

“What did I call you? I mean, how did I address you, Mr. Lee Wooyeon?”

 

Inseop realized he hadn’t properly addressed the man since waking up. The man replied with a smile in his voice.

 

“What do you want to call me?”

 

“What?”

 

“You can call me whatever you want.”

 

The man rubbed his forehead against Inseop’s shoulder like a child seeking affection. Inseop was a bit taken aback. His family in the U.S. was affectionate, but his younger brothers had never clung to him like this. He had read in books that Korea was more conservative with expressions of affection compared to the U.S…. Maybe the culture had changed recently.

 

“Uh, then… Wooyeon….”

 

The man turned his head to meet Inseop’s gaze as if waiting for his name to be called.

 

…Can I really just call him by his name like this?

 

Although he said they were siblings, Inseop still found it hard to believe that the man before him was two years younger. It wasn’t that he looked older. The man had an inexplicable sense of authority. Inseop wasn’t sure if it was okay to cross that line so casually.

 

“Are you not going to call me by my name?”

 

“…Mr. Wooyeon.”

 

“Why are you adding ‘Mr.’ to your younger brother’s name? Just call me by my name.”

 

The man wiped the tears clinging to Inseop’s eyelashes and continued.

 

“And speak informally. Who uses formal speech with their younger brother?”

 

“Oh, right… okay.”

 

Even as he answered, Inseop watched the man’s reaction anxiously. The man suppressed a lazy smile and murmured to himself.

 

“…I imagined this sometimes.”

 

He said it was nice to hear Inseop speaking informally.

 

Until waking up in this place, Inseop had not known he had a younger brother. But the man seemed to have known he had an older brother all along.

 

Did he imagine talking informally with an older brother he had never met? Just thinking about it made Inseop feel a deep tenderness and pity for the man.

 

The man’s breath touched Inseop’s shoulder. The tickling sensation made Inseop curl and uncurl his toes under the sheets. His body, pressed against the man’s, gradually warmed up.

 

“…Um….”

 

Feeling the need to say something, Inseop opened his mouth.

 

“Yes?”

 

“What is that book?”

 

Inseop pointed at the book the man had brought. He held it up. It was a work by a Science Fiction author Inseop liked.

 

“I thought you might have trouble sleeping, so I brought it to read to you.”

 

For the time being, television, reading, and using the computer were all forbidden. The doctor had emphasized the need to rest his brain.

 

“…It’s fine.”

 

Even though he said that, Inseop didn’t actually want to be alone.

 

After being discharged, the man had brought Inseop to a villa in Gangwon-do. It was a thirty-minute drive to the university hospital, but near the villa, there was nothing but a lake. The quiet, peaceful nights with nothing to pass the time were especially long. It reminded him of the many nights he had spent sick in the U.S.

 

“It was at an interesting part, so I wanted to read it too.”

 

The book he brought was the third volume. Had he read the earlier volumes? Inseop pondered for a moment before just nodding.

 

The man suppressed a smile and opened to the marked page. He began reading in a gentle voice. Inseop’s body, wrapped in the sheets, pressed against the man’s chest. Although it was a bit awkward and unfamiliar, Inseop liked the sound of the man’s voice reading to him and quietly listened to the recitation.

 

The soft, soothing voice calmed his anxiety. The precise and clear pronunciation delivered the content of the novel fully and vividly.

 

Inseop closed his eyes. The feeling of the ground collapsing beneath his feet was no longer there.