Vol 6 Ch 13

Inseop stammered that he had taken the sheets to wash them with his own. Wooyeon replied with a nonchalant “Really?” and didn’t press further. Thankfully, during the drive up to Seoul, Wooyeon didn’t say much. As soon as Inseop got into the car, he claimed he was sleepy and pretended to sleep.

 

…And before he knew it, he really did fall asleep.

 

“Did you wake up?”

 

When Inseop groggily opened his eyes, Wooyeon, who had been glancing at him from the driver’s seat, smiled and asked. Inseop startled and quickly sat up.

 

“You must’ve been really tired. You were drooling in your sleep.”

 

Inseop hurriedly wiped his mouth, but there was nothing there. Wooyeon laughed and unbuckled his seatbelt. Then he reached over to unbuckle Inseop’s seatbelt as well.

 

“I-I’ll do it!”

 

Inseop exclaimed in a panic. For a moment, Wooyeon looked at his hand with a slightly awkward expression before stepping out of the car.

 

“Aren’t you coming out?”

 

Wooyeon leaned down to peer into the car and asked. Inseop quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car. Wooyeon had parked in the driveway of a detached house and led Inseop inside.

 

Inseop, unsure of where they were, stood hesitantly at the entrance, looking around. Noticing this, Wooyeon smiled and said, “This is my place in Seoul.”

 

“Your place in Seoul? Then that other place was…?”

 

“The vacation home. Come on in.”

 

Inseop removed his shoes and stepped inside. As soon as he did, a striped cat appeared from somewhere, meowing and circling around him. Inseop quickly bent down and scooped up the cat.

 

“You have a cat?” Inseop asked in surprise. Wooyeon tilted his head slightly.

 

“Why? Is it strange for me to have a cat?”

 

“No, it’s just…”

 

He had never mentioned having a cat before.

 

“Has it been alone all this time, then?”

 

“I asked the housekeeper to take care of it while I was away.”

 

“It must have been scared, being alone.”

 

Inseop gently stroked the cat’s back as he murmured. Wooyeon gave a bitter smile.

 

“…So even if you don’t remember, you still know how to handle them, huh?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

Wooyeon picked up the cat and casually placed it on the sofa before asking, “You’re tired, right?”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“Rest up. The kitchen is over there, and you can use any bathroom. There’s a phone in the study upstairs, so call me if you need anything. Here’s my number.”

 

Wooyeon wrote down his phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to Inseop.

 

“Okay.”

 

Inseop took the paper and put it in his pocket. Then, a thought crossed his mind, and he spoke up.

 

“…Are you leaving right away?”

 

“Yeah, I’ve got some urgent business to take care of.”

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Wooyeon tilted his head slightly, as if he didn’t understand the question.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Aren’t you tired? You drove all the way here, had some drinks… and you said you couldn’t sleep…”

 

Inseop hesitated a little before asking.

 

“Did you sleep well last night?”

 

Inseop asked, his voice tinged with concern. He had been worried that Wooyeon’s insomnia might have been aggravated by his presence, making him uneasy. Wooyeon exhaled deeply, then cupped Inseop’s face in his large hands. His voice, tinged with a mix of tenderness and urgency, muttered something under his breath. Inseop’s heart skipped a beat, afraid that he had said something wrong again.

 

Then, suddenly, Wooyeon’s hand grasped his cheek firmly. Inseop looked up in shock.

 

“Inseop.”

 

“…!”

 

The surprise was so intense that Inseop didn’t even register what Wooyeon had called him.

 

“I’ve been thinking, and I really can’t keep going like this.”

 

“…”

 

Inseop’s vision blurred. The touch on his cheek felt like it was burning, and his entire body shivered. But through it all, Wooyeon’s words echoed in his mind—”I can’t keep going like this.”

 

“Do you trust me?”

 

“…What?”

 

“Do you trust me?”

 

Wooyeon’s gaze was serious, piercing through the confusion and uncertainty in Inseop’s heart.

 

This was the man who had called his name when he woke up in an unfamiliar place, who had stayed by his side, taken care of him, and even dived into icy waters without hesitation to save him…

 

Inseop nodded.

 

“I trust you.”

 

He had no choice but to trust him. Despite the turmoil and confusion of his current situation, Wooyeon had always been sincere.

 

“Good.”

 

Wooyeon smiled brightly, his face suddenly youthful and innocent, reminiscent of the boyish expression he had in his sleep.

 

“Then wait for me. I’ll be back soon.”

 

“…Okay.”

 

Inseop felt guilty for having such strange dreams about someone like him. He couldn’t even meet Wooyeon’s eyes out of shame.

 

“Don’t open the door for anyone you don’t know.”

 

Wooyeon’s tone was like that of someone instructing a child. Inseop could only nod in response. It was only after Wooyeon left that Inseop let out the breath he had been holding.

 

“…Haa…”

 

He sat down on the sofa. Now that he was alone, the dream he had last night came rushing back with vivid intensity.

 

His fingertips grew cold.

 

Could losing his memory really mess with his mind like this? He swore he had never perceived anyone in such a way before. He had never even had an erotic dream. Could his brain really be malfunctioning because of his memory loss? Inseop stood up abruptly. He was scared—terrified that he might actually be losing his mind.

 

“…Ah…”

 

He bolted up the stairs and ran into the study, where he spotted a telephone on the desk. Without hesitation, Inseop entered the room and quickly searched for the name of the hospital he had visited on the nearby laptop. He found the hospital’s website, located the doctor he had seen, and called the hospital. After a few rings, a receptionist answered. Inseop mentioned the name of his attending physician and asked if an appointment was possible today.

 

<Please hold while I connect you to the department.>

 

As Inseop waited, his fingers, slick with nervous sweat, fidgeted anxiously.

 

<Hello, this is the department.>

 

<Yes, hello. I’m a patient of Professor Jung Yoonsik. Is it possible to get an appointment with him today?>

 

He remembered being told that he should come to the hospital immediately if he noticed any abnormalities.

 

<The professor is away for a seminar today, so he won’t be able to see patients. Have you made an appointment?>

 

<What? An appointment?>

 

<Yes, appointments are necessary. Unfortunately, all slots are booked for this month, but I can help you schedule one for a later date if you’d like.>

 

<Oh, no… Is it possible to walk in without an appointment? Would I have to wait a long time?>

 

Inseop remembered that he had managed to see the doctor without an appointment the last time, so he inquired about it.

 

<It’s not possible with Professor Jung. However, you might be able to see another doctor if you come early in the morning and take a number, though you’ll likely have to wait for several hours. Are you okay with that?>

 

Realizing that seeing a doctor and returning before Wooyeon came back was impossible, Inseop politely thanked the receptionist and ended the call.

 

He sighed deeply, running his hands through his hair.

 

What should I do?

 

 If he wanted to schedule a consultation, he’d have to tell Wooyeon about it. But how could he explain having such a strange dream…?

 

As he struggled with his thoughts, Inseop decided to search online for answers and opened the laptop again. He hesitated for a moment before typing “having sex with…” and immediately felt a wave of shame and self-disgust wash over him.

 

His face flushed, Inseop rubbed his reddened cheeks and completed the search phrase. Multiple documents popped up, and he clicked on the top one, reading it carefully. Gradually, the tension in his face began to ease.

 

He clicked on the next document. The content was mostly similar: dreaming about having sex with someone close, like a family member, doesn’t indicate a perverse nature but rather reflects a subconscious desire for reconciliation or emotional support.

 

Inseop recalled what had happened in the bathroom. That incident must have made him feel uneasy, leading to the strange dream.

 

Even so.

 

Inseop couldn’t shake off the vivid memory of Wooyeon calling his name, breathless, drenched in desire. The weight pressing down on him, the smell of sweat, and those eyes that seemed ready to devour him…

 

He quickly shook his head to dispel the images. He decided to get a glass of cold water to clear his mind when suddenly, he heard a crash. He immediately got up and ran toward the noise.

 

“Nyaaa…”

 

The striped cat, which had just knocked over a picture frame from the desk, was now standing with its fur bristling in fear. Inseop picked up the cat and gently asked if it was scared. The cat, seeking comfort, rubbed its face against Inseop’s arm. He patted the cat soothingly while picking up the fallen picture frame from the floor.

 

“…Huh.”

 

Inseop blinked in surprise. The photo showed him and his younger sibling, smiling at each other. Seeing a photograph he didn’t remember taking felt more unsettling than he had expected.

 

Was this taken in front of this house?

 

It seemed to be summer. Both of them were soaking wet, likely from a sprinkler in the garden, and they were laughing together. A strange feeling tickled his chest. Inseop gazed at the mischievous, boyish smile Wooyeon had in the picture before setting the frame down. As he picked up the other items that had fallen with the frame, the cat playfully batted at a gold ornament.

 

“…You must be bored,”

 

Inseop said, patting the cat’s head. He bent down to pick up the fallen items and noticed something gleaming under the bed. He lay flat on the floor and stretched his hand out. His fingertips barely brushed against the ornament.

 

Got it.

 

As he pulled the ornament out, a small notebook came out with it.

 

“What’s this?”

 

Inseop placed the ornament back where it belonged and picked up the notebook with its dark navy cover. It must have fallen under the bed when the cat caused the earlier commotion.

 

Inseop hesitated as he moved to place the notebook back on the bookshelf. The handwriting on the cover looked familiar.

 

…Did I write this?

 

Inseop had a unique way of writing the number 2, and the number on the cover was unmistakably in his handwriting.

 

Maybe just a quick look to see if it’s mine. If it’s not, I’ll close it right away.

 

After a moment of hesitation, Inseop opened the notebook. It was a diary, filled with entries written in his own hand.

 

November 23

 

We started filming ‘The World of Continuity’ today. I have a good feeling about this movie. The script is great, and the CEO is fantastic… I hope it wins an award.

 

Did I write about a movie I liked?

 

Even as he read the words he had written, Inseop felt like he was invading someone else’s privacy.

 

December 1st

 

A scandal broke out in the news today. He called me right away, asking if I’d eaten, what I was doing. Then he said, “It’s nothing.”

 

I expected as much, but hearing him say it still made me feel better.

 

December 5th

 

Today, the president called us over for drinks. Despite the clarifying article, rumors spread online that the two of them were getting married next year. The president was furious, saying it was a malicious rumor started by those trying to bring down the company. Chief Cha assured me repeatedly that such a thing would never happen.

 

I knew it already.

 

But I couldn’t say it, so I just drank with them. Sometimes, I feel so guilty for deceiving them both.

 

Inseop thought back to the two men who had visited the villa in Gangwon-do and turned the page.

 

December 16th

 

Tomorrow is the movie awards ceremony. I can’t sleep. I know, regardless of whether he wins an award or not, that he’s an amazing actor. He always works hard and gives his best. He doesn’t need to win. He’s the best.

 

December 17th

 

*He won the grand prize!!!!*

 

There was even a sketch of the trophy. Inseop stifled a laugh. Who was I cheering for? As he turned to the next page, a thought struck him, and he flipped back.

 

…It’s the same.

 

Inseop realized that the trophy sketched in the notebook was the very same gold ornament he had pulled out from under the bed earlier.

 

Why is this trophy here?

 

He quickly flipped to the next page.

 

December 23rd

 

Aaron, who’s in Hong Kong, said he’d be in Seoul for Christmas and wanted to meet up. That evening, I had an argument with Wooyeon. I tried not to cry, but I couldn’t hold back the tears.

 

New Year’s Resolution: Don’t cry.

 

Were we not as close back then? Inseop wondered, noting how the entry referred to him as “Wooyeon-ssi.” …Why did they argue when Aaron was visiting?

 

The brief diary entries were difficult to fully understand.

 

December 24th

 

It snowed. I watched the snow with Wooyeon-ssi. I thought of Will. He always used to run around happily on snowy days. I’m sure he’s watching the snow and smiling from heaven.

 

Inseop was deeply shaken. …Will is dead?

 

December 25th

 

It snowed again today. In the morning, we exchanged gifts, and Wooyeon-ssi suggested we make up. …Didn’t we do that yesterday?

 

As he read further, Inseop realized that something was very wrong. The anxiety he had barely managed to suppress began to bubble up again.

 

December 30th

 

Tomorrow, we’re going to watch the sunrise.

 

‘I went to see the sunrise with him. On December 31st last year. He said he wanted to see the New Year’s sunrise.’

 

Inseop suddenly recalled Wooyeon telling him this. He realized this was a diary from the previous year.

 

January 1st

 

Yesterday—or rather, last year—we went to the East Sea to watch the sunrise. He asked what my wish would be. I said it was a secret because wishes don’t come true if you say them out loud. But honestly, I wanted to tell him. I’ve been making the same wish ever since I met him.

 

“Please let Wooyeon-ssi and I live together, happily and healthily, for a long, long time.”

 

Inseop’s fingers trembled, and he felt the blood drain from his face. He kept rereading the page, not fully comprehending what he was seeing.

 

It can’t be. He tried to rationalize. We’re just close because we’re siblings… It’s only natural…

 

His hands shaking, Inseop turned the page.

 

January 8th

 

I visited Wooyeon-ssi’s film set today. He had many scenes with a female actress. I know it’s just work, but I couldn’t help feeling down. I cried a little on the way home.

 

New Year’s Resolution failed.

 

…This is impossible.

 

Inseop desperately denied the implications. None of this made sense. Wooyeon is my brother, but it was as if the diary was written by someone who…

 

Just then, a photograph tucked between the last pages of the notebook fluttered to the floor. Inseop bent down and picked it up. It was a Polaroid taken in front of a Christmas tree. The Inseop in the photo was smiling, his face covered in cake frosting, while Wooyeon was hugging him and playfully kissing his cheek…

 

Inseop dropped the photo and rushed to the bathroom.

 

“Ugh…”

 

Having eaten little that morning, there was nothing to bring up, but he clung to the toilet, dry-heaving for a long time. His hands shook uncontrollably, and his vision spun.

 

Tears streamed down his face. He was terrified. What have I done? What kind of person had he become after losing his memory? Why…

 

Inseop crouched in the corner of the bathroom, trembling as if doused in ice-cold water. He was overwhelmed with confusion, more so than when he had first woken up in this unfamiliar place with no memory.

 

‘Do you trust me?’

 

The question echoed in his mind. He wanted to trust him. He had to. Wooyeon had been nothing but kind and sincere to him. But now…

 

…I’m scared.

 

Inseop buried his face in his knees, trying to stifle his sobs.