Vol 3 Ch 19

It was the end of the year, and the streets were decked out in colorful decorations. This Christmas was the couple’s first holiday since moving to the United States. For Lee Wooyeon, it was one of the red days on the calendar that was not a good time for s*x, but he knew that Christmas was very special to Inseop, so he was willing to enjoy it.

 

That day, he decided to go to the mall to buy ornaments for his tree. He pulled into the mall parking lot and was about to leave when Inseop’s phone rang. Seeing that the caller was his mother, he shrugged it off as a ritualistic Merry Christmas greeting.

 

But the longer the call went on, the darker Inseop’s complexion became, and by the end of the call, his large eyes were filled with tears.

 

“What’s going on?

 

Lee Wooyeon asked in a low voice.

 

“…My maternal grandmother is not doing well, so she called me from the hospital.

 

It’s been almost half a year since Inseop’s maternal grandmother was in the hospital. He can already count the ups and downs on his fingers.

 

“They said she might not make it through the week.”

 

He especially loved and followed his maternal grandmother, who had a gentle and compassionate nature. That’s why, whenever he received a call from the hospital, he felt sorry and sad with all his heart.

 

‘She’ll get through this one just fine.’

 

Lee Wooyeon offered some heartfelt words of comfort.

 

“She’s old and they think it’s hard for her.”

 

Inseop’s big eyes fluttered open, and Lee Wooyeon felt bad. He loved it when he cried, but he didn’t want to see him cry anywhere but in bed.

 

“How old is she?”

 

“Eighty-nine years old.”

 

Ninety years old in Korean terms. In Korea, that was considered a good age to die.

 

Nevertheless, Inseop was at a loss for words, as if he were losing a child he hadn’t been able to love. Seeing Inseop in tears, Lee Wooyeon clicked his tongue. He was annoyed. He didn’t want to see Inseop upset every time the old woman who had lived long enough got sick.

 

And so it was. He unwittingly revealed something that he would normally have made up.

 

“Hmm, is that so?

 

“…….”

 

The air in the car became cooler. Inseop had correctly recognized the words between the lines. Lee Wooyeon swallowed a curse under his breath.

 

“…I’m sorry, but I think I’m going to have to go to the hospital today.”

 

Inseop spoke cautiously.

 

“Do you want me to take you there?”

 

“No, I’m going to my parents’ house first.”

 

“So do you want me to take you there?

 

Inseop shook his head.

 

“I think it’s better if I drive, I might have to come back late at night.”

 

He was right. For now, the priority was to return home and give Inseop a ride.

 

Lee Wooyeon fastened his seatbelt again and started the car. The whole way home, they didn’t say anything. When he stopped the car and let Inseop out, Lee Wooyeon had a hard time speaking.

 

“Mr. Inseop. Earlier….”

 

“I’ll be right back.”

 

It was unusual for Inseop to cut him off mid-sentence. Lee Wooyeon remained silent.

 

“I’ll call you when I get there.”

 

“…Yes.”

 

“I’ll be back by the weekend at the latest. I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be, drive carefully.”

 

Lee Wooyeon kissed Inseop lightly on the forehead. Inseop drove away.

 

Three days passed. Inseop, who had said he would be back by the end of the week at the earliest, didn’t return until after the weekend and they talked less. Lee Wooyeon didn’t say anything either.

 

And that was today.

 

“She’s regained consciousness?”

 

<Yes. She’s back to sleep now, but she woke up earlier in the day.>

 

For the first time in days, he breathed a small sigh of relief.

 

“Good.”

 

Lee Wooyeon said with sincerity.

 

<Thank you for your concern>.

 

He wasn’t worried about Inseop’s maternal grandmother, he was just worried that if the old woman were to die at this time, his behavior before they parted ways would be imprinted on him for the rest of his life. Maybe not today, but someday, he’ll feel bad about his behavior.

 

“Did you eat?”

 

Lee Wooyeon asked, worried about Inseop, who can’t eat properly if he’s worried about something.

 

<Yes. I ate with Aaron earlier. Did you eat?”>

 

“I’m going to eat now.”

 

He hadn’t slept for three days. No matter what he ate, he felt like he was chewing dirt, and he didn’t want to eat, but that’s what he did.

 

<Then go ahead and eat it. I’m going to hang up the phone.>

 

“Mr. Inseop.”

 

Lee Wooyeon called out Inseop’s name.

 

<Yes?>

 

“Don’t hang up. I want to hear your voice.”

 

He could feel Inseop panic on the other end of the phone at his sudden request. His face would be red, and his hands would tighten around the phone.

 

“I miss you, Mr. Inseop.”

 

<…Me, too.>.

 

“I miss you so much.”

 

<I’d like to see you, too>.

 

Lee Wooyeon smiled wordlessly. He hadn’t seen him in three days, and he missed him more than he could have ever imagined.

 

“Go inside, it’s cold since you came out and called.”

 

Given the nature of Inseop’s behavior, it was obvious that he was out of the hospital and on the phone.

 

<I’ll be sure to come home tomorrow>.

 

“Do whatever you want, Mr. Inseop, Christmas isn’t just for this year.”

 

<No, I’ll be there tomorrow. I was going to call you when you woke up. We’ve had a lot to look forward to this Christmas, Mr. Lee Wooyeon.>

 

They prepared food for this year’s Christmas, bought their own tree and set it up on their front porch, and bought cards for each other.

 

He thought about replying that all of this was done to please him, but he said, “Yes,” and gave him the answer that a normal person would have given.

 

“I was looking forward to it, but it’s more important that you feel comfortable.”

 

<…Thank you for saying that.>

 

He clearly saw the deficiency in him. Even as he thanked him, he had a bitter taste in his mouth.

 

“Well, I have to go now, but if you need anything, feel free to call me.”

 

<Yes. Good night, then.”>.

 

After the call ended, Lee Wooyeon stared at his phone screen for a while. The five-minute call had done more for his headache than any pill he’d swallowed all day.

 

That’s when it happened. A message window popped up.

 

[I’m sorry, can I call you one more time before I go to bed?]

 

What the f**k did he eat to be this cute.

 

Lee Wooyeon resisted the urge to drive to the hospital right away and sent the message.

 

[I can call me ten times^^]

 

[I’ll call you later, thanks!] came the reply.

 

“Ha.”

 

Lee Wooyeon stood up from his seat. He had to go out to the garage to find his car keys and sit in the driver’s seat for half an hour before returning.

 

***.

 

<…I’m sorry.>

 

“No, thank you.”

 

Lee Wooyeon answered by pressing the candle with a snooper. He had lit candles all over the house after receiving a call from Inseop that he was leaving in the morning.

 

<I’m so sorry, I didn’t see that coming>.

 

His maternal grandmother’s condition suddenly deteriorated. This was not uncommon for critically ill patients.

 

“Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault.”

 

<…I think I’m going back on my word.>

 

I’ll be there tomorrow, I’ll be there tomorrow, I’ll be there tomorrow, I’ll be there tomorrow. …Tomorrow, somehow….

 

With each passing day, he wondered if this is what it’s like to be a child waiting for a mother who has left home.

 

“It’s okay, I really don’t mind.”

 

Lee Wooyeon stared at the twinkling Christmas tree and shrugged. It had only been an hour ago that he had finished decorating the tree and piled the wrapped presents under it.

 

“How is your grandmother doing?”

 

<…I’m not sure.>

 

She was clearly in and out of consciousness.

 

“She’ll die someday, but hopefully not this time, and I’m sure she’ll get better,” he consoled Inseop.

 

<Mr. Lee Wooyeon, you’re alone, right?

 

“Nope. I’m with John.”

 

He replied, looking at the cat hiding under the tree, wagging only the tip of its tail.

 

<…Not John. I can’t bear that you’re alone on a day like today>.

 

Lee Wooyeon almost burst out laughing. Even after all that, Inseop still feels bad that he was alone on a day like this.

 

Normally, he would have feigned loneliness and begged for Inseop’s sympathy, but this was not one of those times.

 

“Then we’ll definitely spend Christmas together next year.”

 

<Yes. We will, no matter what.>.

 

It wasn’t hard to picture Inseop nodding his head, his eyes wide and serious. His stomach clenched just thinking about it.

 

“I’ll hang up then.”

 

<Mr. Lee Wooyeon!>

 

Inseop urgently called out to Lee Wooyeon.

 

“Yes. Go ahead.”

 

<Me, Merry Christmas.>

 

He burst out laughing. For a moment, he felt like an idiot because he was so nervous as he thought he was going to say something else.

 

“Okay. Merry Christmas. Good night.”

 

After ending the call, Lee Wooyeon sighed as he found his car keys in his hand out of habit.

 

He unplugged the power to the twinkling Christmas lights. He covered the food he had prepared on the table and put it in the refrigerator. He didn’t feel like eating, so he grabbed a quick sandwich and took a shower. He removed the candles that decorated the bathroom and got out to read. He couldn’t make out the words. He took an early sleeping pill and lay down.

 

He heard the sound of rain.

 

With a desert climate, temperatures rarely dip below freezing even in the middle of winter, so seeing snow was a miracle. This winter’s frequent rainfall has been hyped on the news as the most unusual in decades.

 

He closed his eyes and listened to the rain.

 

When the weather got colder, he would always snuggle into my arms, and he thought about giving up the warmth of the beach and moving to Canada for his silly delight. The way he would cuddle up to him and rub his face against him in his sleep was indescribably adorable.

 

Lee Wooyeon always turned to the right side of the bed where Inseop lay.

 

“…Can’t you read to me?”

 

Whenever he had a fever, Inseop’s childishness doubled. It was a moment that made him grateful to his mother, who made sure to read him a bedtime story. Whenever Inseop asked for a story, he would get up and retrieve a book from the study, and then read it aloud slowly by his side.

 

When Inseop’s feverish breathing rose and fell regularly, he would close the book and watch him for a while.

 

It was a strange feeling. Seeing Inseop asleep, even though he was right next to him and everything was fine, it made him feel uneasy. Sometimes he felt like his toes were going to fall off. It wasn’t a feeling of affection. He was afraid that one day he would lose him.

 

Mr. Inseop.

 

There were nights when he couldn’t help himself and called out to him, and he would respond to his call. Sometimes he’d wake up completely and answer, but usually he’d just give a short answer in his sleep or open his eyes once and close them. That’s all it took for him to ease the anxiety that would rise to the top of his throat.

 

“…Mr. Inseop.”

 

Even though he knew he wasn’t going to get an answer, he still called out.

 

He wondered if he’d fallen out of love and was using his grandma as an excuse not to come back.

 

Maybe he was justified in disliking his significant other because he’s a scumbag who can’t even be bothered with the death of a loved one.

 

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust him.

 

It’s just..He was afraid the day will come when he’ll be scared of him.