Vol 6 Ch 27

‘Are you okay?’

With his large, kind eyes, Inseop looked up and asked. Despite being smaller, he always showed genuine concern for the man who stood a head taller than him.

‘Should I get you some water?’

His soft voice wrapped gently around him. Wooyeon opened his eyes and gazed blankly at Inseop, who was sitting in front of him. Even though he drank the cold water, his thirst didn’t subside.

‘Do you need anything else?’

Wooyeon wanted to possess Choi Inseop. He wanted to bind his slender arms and legs and keep him by his side, never letting him go anywhere.

A few days earlier, a call had come from the U.S. It was the usual check-in, but this time, there was a small additional detail: Inseop’s grandmother’s health had worsened. Inseop, in a subdued voice, said he understood and ended the call.

Since Inseop had recently returned from the U.S., he couldn’t bring himself to ask if he could go see his grandmother again. Wooyeon didn’t bother acknowledging it. It wasn’t realistic for Inseop to rush to the U.S. every time his elderly grandmother, who was over ninety, fell ill.

That evening, Inseop said he’d go to bed early and retreated to his room. Wooyeon could hear the sound of quiet sobs through the door. He sipped his coffee, listening to the sound of Inseop crying, and once the sobbing stopped, he went into the room. Inseop peeked out from beneath the sheets and, trying to cover it up, said he had just been about to sleep.

His eyes were swollen, puffy from crying.

He was so bad at even telling small lies, and yet so endearingly lovable. Wooyeon, watching him, pulled a book from the shelf. That night, he read to Inseop until he fell asleep. If he hadn’t, Inseop probably would have cried all night.

The next day, Inseop’s family members called, one by one. They exchanged affectionate greetings and kind words.

*I miss you.*  

*When can you come?*  

*I love you.*

-I miss you too.  

-I’ll come soon, as soon as I can.  

-I miss you too. I love you.

Inseop shared his love generously with his family, and Wooyeon hated it. He wanted to lap up every last crumb of Inseop’s affection, even if he had to scrape the bottom of the barrel.

He used the holiday as an excuse to avoid going anywhere. He held Inseop close, and they spent time together inside, watching movies, reading, and eating. It was a satisfying time.

Wooyeon’s thoughts drifted back to the time in the U.S. Inseop had left, saying he’d just go see his sick grandmother briefly and then come back, but he kept postponing his return, day after day. While most people would have waited patiently, Wooyeon waited like a drowning man, desperate to break the surface for air. It wouldn’t have been difficult to go to the U.S. with Inseop. But Wooyeon didn’t want to share him with anyone—not even his beloved family, who were facing death.

Wooyeon knew that Inseop cherished him. But Inseop also loved other things with all his heart. What if, one day, the weight of his heart tipped away from Wooyeon, toward something else? …Maybe it would be better if one of those things disappeared.

“Haha…”

A dry laugh escaped Wooyeon’s lips. He turned on the water and splashed his face.

If Inseop knew that the man he was planning to marry had such disturbing thoughts, what would he think…

‘…At least I should give him a chance to make up for it.’

Even washing his face with cold water didn’t clear the lingering effects of the alcohol.

Damn it. He had only drunk because he was in such a shitty mood…

‘Are you okay?’

Inseop’s gentle voice, full of concern, reached him.

‘Yeah.’  

Wooyeon responded without turning around, bending under the faucet to let the cold water wash over his head. He needed to sober up. He couldn’t predict how the filthy urges he was barely suppressing would rear their ugly head.

‘…Will you marry me?’

Wooyeon lifted his head. He saw his hands gripping the sink, and more precisely, the silver ring on his finger.

What had he said back then?

He lifted his hand and stared at the ring, suppressing a bitter laugh. Did it even matter what he had answered? Choi Inseop had already decided to marry him. Wooyeon would blind him to anyone else, bind him so he couldn’t go anywhere, make him spread his legs only for him…

‘Wooyeon, are you okay?’

Fuck.  

Wooyeon opened the cabinet under the sink and pulled out a bottle of pills. At times like this, it was better to just pop some pills and pass out. He dumped a handful into his palm and swallowed them down.

Better to overdose than to fuck up and make Inseop hate him.

He lay down after taking the pills.

‘Wooyeon. Wooyeon.’  

Wooyeon woke to the sound of someone shaking him.

‘What happened? Did you collapse? Should I call an ambulance?’

Those large eyes were filled with worry. It suffocated Wooyeon. Looking into those eyes felt like sinking into deep water. Sometimes, it terrified him. No matter how hard he struggled, he feared he would end up dead in the end.

‘Wooyeon…’  

Wooyeon pulled Inseop into his arms, kissed him, and buried himself in Inseop’s slender body, inhaling his scent. Only then did he feel like he could breathe.

‘Inseop. Inseop. Inseop…’  

He clung to Inseop’s thin frame. His small lips, his long neck, his slightly rounded shoulders, his soft earlobes—Wooyeon kissed, sucked, bit wherever he could.

‘…Do whatever you want to me, Wooyeon.’

Wooyeon shouldn’t have done it. He shouldn’t have taken advantage of someone who showed him such undeserved kindness.

But still…

‘Inseop… Inseop, Inseop…’

Wooyeon embraced Inseop and took him however he wanted. He spewed vulgar words, spread him open, shoved himself inside, and spilled his seed. The violent desires boiling inside him felt like they were frying his brain. It was a dark instinct he had never been able to suppress, not since he was born.

‘Fuck… someone like you…’

Wooyeon couldn’t even remember what he had said. Inseop cried, startled by his words.

No doubt, the ugly, cruel feelings Wooyeon had been hiding had come out completely…

‘I love you.’  

Inseop whispered as he held Wooyeon close. The sensation was like a scorching rod stabbing through his throat and crushing his heart.

‘I love you, Wooyeon… I love you.’  

Every time, without fail, you…

“…….”

Wooyeon opened his eyes, squinting as a sharp headache split through his head. He winced, then closed his eyes again. But when jumbled memories flashed in his mind, he snapped his eyes open.

“…F**k.”

A bitter curse slipped from his lips as he ran a hand over his dry cheek. Inseop was sleeping soundly next to him. Wooyeon’s eyes traveled over Inseop’s shoulder, peeking out from the sheets, marked with traces of their night together.

He pulled the sheet up to cover Inseop and slowly sat up. After fetching some lukewarm water, he dampened a soft cloth and began gently wiping Inseop’s body.

“…Mm…”

Inseop, barely awake, snuggled into Wooyeon like a child seeking comfort.

“Sleep some more.”

With a few pats on his back, Inseop soon slipped back into peaceful breathing. Wooyeon cleaned him with delicate care, making sure not to wake him, then left the room to shower.

He prepared a simple meal before returning to the bedroom. Not wanting to disturb Inseop, Wooyeon lay quietly beside him.

Long eyelashes, a round forehead leading to the tip of his nose, faint freckles scattered across his cheeks, and small lips—he had seen Inseop’s face so many times that he could draw it from memory. On countless sleepless nights, Wooyeon had stayed up just watching him sleep, and no matter how many times he looked, he never got tired of it.

‘What do you like so much? Aren’t you tired of it by now?’

Wooyeon recalled what CEO Kim had said to him once.

Exactly. Why did he love this man so much? …Sometimes, it was almost painful.

Wooyeon gently brushed the hair behind Inseop’s ear with his fingertips, the soft texture sliding through his touch. Each time Inseop shifted in his sleep, Wooyeon patted him, soothing him back into stillness. Hours passed this way, until finally, Inseop groggily opened his eyes.

“Are you awake?”

In response to Wooyeon’s question, Inseop quietly nodded.

“Do you want to sleep more?”

“…No.”

“I’ll run a bath. Just lie down for a little longer.”

Inseop obediently lay back down. Wooyeon filled the bathtub and returned to the bed. He gently shook Inseop’s shoulder, who had already dozed off again.

“Can you get up? Or do you want to sleep more?”

“…I’ll get up.”

Inseop forced his eyes open, still heavy with sleep. Wooyeon lifted him, sheet and all.

“I can… I can walk.”

Still waking up, Inseop wriggled in the sheet, trying to free himself. Wooyeon smiled and carried him straight into the bathroom, where he washed him. After drying Inseop’s hair, Wooyeon prepared breakfast. Inseop, still looking drowsy, sat at the table with heavy-lidded eyes.

“Inseop.”

Wooyeon placed the food he had prepared onto the table and spoke softly.

“Even if you’re not hungry, try to eat a little. You can sleep again afterward.”

“…Yes. Thank you. I’ll eat well.”

Inseop nodded politely in thanks. Wooyeon sat across from him, and they ate in silence.

“Does it taste good?”

“Yes. It’s delicious.”

“I’m glad.”

That was all the conversation they exchanged. Wooyeon drank water, glancing at Inseop’s expression. When their eyes met, Inseop smiled at him, the same way he always did, and for some reason, Wooyeon felt a dull ache in his chest.

“Inseop…”

“…Wooyeon.”

They both spoke at the same time.

“You first.”

Wooyeon gestured for Inseop to continue. Inseop hesitated, nervously clutching at the edge of his sleeve—a habit he had before saying something difficult.

Was he going to ask to break off the engagement? Of course, he would. What else could he do when he was engaged to such a fucked-up bastard like me?

Without a word, Wooyeon fidgeted with the ring on his pinky finger. Damn it. He would sooner cut off his finger than give up that ring. How could he let go of something he had fought so hard to get…?

“…Wooyeon, I don’t want you to see that.”

“Hm?” 

Wooyeon raised an eyebrow, completely caught off guard by Inseop’s unexpected words.

“Just like you said… that time, I stalked you. There were… some illegal things, of course. B-but there were also some legal materials. Things I found online. But that only got me so far, so I had to do whatever it took to become your manager. That’s why… I followed you.”

“…”

“I know it was wrong. I regret it. I don’t do that kind of thing anymore, so… I don’t want you to see it.”

Wooyeon stared at Inseop blankly, as if he had been struck on the back of the head, and finally asked, “What are you talking about?”

“The… report.”

Inseop answered, his eyebrows drawn down low in guilt. 

Last night, at the bar, the topic of the report Inseop had written came up. Wooyeon had said he wanted to see it, but Inseop had begged him not to. When Wooyeon asked why, Inseop promised to explain once they got home. And now, Inseop was faithfully fulfilling that promise.

Wooyeon let out a long sigh. When he lifted his gaze, he saw Inseop’s pale face, filled with worry as he looked at him.

Fuck, how could I not love this guy?

“Okay, I won’t look.”

At Wooyeon’s response, Inseop’s face immediately lit up. Like flowers blooming in the spring breeze, his innocent smile spread across his face. Watching him, Wooyeon thought, ‘Even if they cut off all ten of my fingers, I’d never give up that ring.’

“But about what happened yesterday…”

“Yesterday…”

They spoke simultaneously once again. This time, Inseop gestured for Wooyeon to go first.

“I’m sorry.”

Without any further explanation, Wooyeon apologized directly.

“I’m sorry, Inseop.”

There was no excuse like, ‘I drank too much’ or ‘I was in a bad mood.’ He didn’t remember every detail of last night, but from the fragmented memories he had, Wooyeon could tell he had treated Inseop roughly.

“Yesterday, I…”

Wooyeon’s eyes landed on Inseop’s slender neck, marked with bruises and bite marks, vividly displaying what had happened the night before.

Noticing his gaze, Inseop quickly pulled his collar up to cover his neck.

“…I bruise easily.”

“I’m sorry. I forced—”

“No, absolutely not.”

Inseop interrupted Wooyeon’s words firmly.

“I asked for it. You don’t need to apologize.”

Inseop met Wooyeon’s eyes as he continued.

“When you drink a lot, you usually sleep in another room. But yesterday, I wanted to. You didn’t want to at first, but I was the one who pushed for it… I’m sorry.”

His voice trailed off, and he apologized in a small, hesitant voice. His face flushed a deep red, and he couldn’t even make proper eye contact. Wooyeon looked silently at his lover, who still couldn’t manage to lie convincingly.

“Wooyeon, so…”

Wooyeon leaned across the table and kissed him. It was a tender kiss, their lips moving softly together, as if seeking forgiveness. When the kiss ended, Wooyeon rested his forehead against Inseop’s and whispered, “Don’t forgive me so easily.”

Inseop’s long eyelashes fluttered, so beautiful and lovable.

“…It’ll spoil me like a misbehaving dog.”

Wooyeon muttered as he lightly bit down on Inseop’s lower lip, just like a puppy learning to nip.

“I didn’t forgive you.”

Inseop quickly added, “Because you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Wooyeon had never thought of his mental health issues as a weakness. However, he had learned to keep them to himself because the moment he mentioned them, people’s attitudes changed.

Whenever his mother returned from her support group for parents of children with mental illness, she treated him differently.

‘It’s not your fault you’re like this. You’re special,’ she’d say. 

He hated it. It was suffocating. Thankfully, her special treatment never lasted long—his mother didn’t want to treat him as special; she wanted to fix him.

“How could I forgive you when you haven’t done anything wrong?” Inseop said.

Inseop never avoided his twisted, anxious nature. He never tried to fix or correct it. No matter what happened, he never changed the way he treated him. He pitied him in the most normal of ways, embraced him, and… treated him like he was normal.

Every time. Without fail.

“…Though drinking too much yesterday was a little wrong.”

Inseop’s soft voice carried a timid reproach.

Sometimes, when Wooyeon faced Inseop, he felt a strange sense of powerlessness, as if his nerves had been cut off. All he could do was gaze at Inseop blankly, as if that was the only thing he was capable of doing.

Wooyeon slowly swallowed his laughter. He knew he’d never be able to overcome this, not in a lifetime.

“If you see me getting drunk like that again, just tell me to go to bed instead of doing something stupid. And if I don’t listen, feel free to slap me,” he said, taking Inseop’s hand and pretending to lightly slap his own cheek. Inseop, shocked, quickly pulled his hand away.

“I-I’m not doing that. Why would I hit you?”

“You’ve hit me before.”

“When did I?”

“At the lake, that time.”

“That was only because you told me to do it…”

“Exactly. You did well. So, do it again if it happens.”

“…”

“Come on, eat before your food gets cold,” Wooyeon said, urging him with a smile.

Inseop nodded and began to eat his soup, while Wooyeon, picking at his salad, remembered something. “By the way, what were you going to say earlier?”

“Oh, that…”

Inseop hesitated again, nervously fidgeting with his sleeve. Wooyeon, out of habit, fiddled with the ring on his pinky finger.

“It’s about… what to call you.”

“Call me?”

Wooyeon tilted his head slightly, curious.

“I’ve always called you by your name because that’s how it’s been, but… if I need to change it, um, in Korea, when people are close, they don’t use names, and, uh…”

“Do you want us to call each other hyung and dongsaeng?”

Inseop’s face instantly flushed red.

You’re really saying something useless that’s only making me more turned on.

 Wooyeon lowered his gaze, suppressing a laugh.

“We’re not really hyung and dongsaeng, you know.”

He poured some water and handed it to Inseop. “Just call me whatever you want. It doesn’t matter to me.”

“…But then why did you… yesterday…”

“Yesterday? Why?”

“Ah, never mind.”

Inseop quickly dropped his gaze. 

Did I make him call me hyung while fucking him last night? Threatened to never let him come again if he didn’t say it while I had him from behind? Or did I promise to knock him up while spilling my load inside him? Maybe I forced him into some dirty position we’ve never done before and kept asking if he liked it as hyung pounded him?

Shit, what does it matter? I’m the only one who gets to fuck him anyway.

“Just keep calling me like you always have. I like hearing you say my name,” Wooyeon said, a small smirk on his lips.

“…Okay.”

At last, Inseop relaxed a little and smiled shyly. As Wooyeon tore a piece of bread, he noticed Inseop’s white, sharp canines peeking through his lips.

“And about what you said yesterday, about co-signing for your brothers…”

“Ah, right.”

It wasn’t the most pleasant topic to discuss over breakfast, but Wooyeon kept a bright tone.

“There’s really no chance of that happening. They wouldn’t do something like that. They don’t gamble, and they don’t get involved in anything they can’t handle. They’re good kids, responsible and honest.”

“I know.”

… I really lost my appetite.

“But, just in case, even if there’s a tiny chance, I think I’d have to help them at least once.”

“You can do whatever you think is best. It’s your choice.”

“No, I wanted to tell you. You should know, since we’re going to be… married.”

Inseop was clearly worried that Wooyeon might suffer from a situation that might never even arise, thanks to CEO Kim’s comments. Wooyeon, keeping his tone light, replied, “Don’t worry about that. If any legal issues come up, I’ll take care of it.”

If his brothers do cause trouble, I’ll make sure they’re dealt with properly. In fact, Wooyeon thought, it might even be easier if they did screw up.

“I’ll only help them once. No more than that. Just as family duty.”

For someone like Wooyeon, who didn’t care much for family obligations, Inseop’s sense of duty was almost fascinating. He was fragile in so many ways, yet there were so many things he felt he had to protect. It must have been exhausting.

“I know the chances are practically zero, but if—just if—you ever need my help, I’ll co-sign for you,” Inseop said, his voice filled with quiet determination. “No matter how many times it takes. I will.”

Wooyeon paused, taken aback. Inseop’s lips were pressed tightly together in that stubborn way he got whenever he mustered the courage to protect something he cared about. Despite his usually timid nature, he always showed this expression when he decided to stand firm.

Wooyeon sighed deeply. 

“…Wooyeon?” Inseop asked nervously, clearly worried he’d said something wrong.

“Do you have any plans to ruin your life?” Wooyeon teased, his voice light but edged with affection. “How many times are you planning to co-sign?”

Inseop let out a laugh, that sweet and lovable sound that always made Wooyeon’s heart clench. Every time Wooyeon thought he’d reached his limit with how much he adored this man, Inseop would casually step over that line, making Wooyeon wonder how much deeper he could fall.

“Wooyeon.”

“Hm?” Wooyeon responded, knowing full well the effect Inseop’s soft voice had on him, yet powerless against it.

“You’re not mad, are you?” Inseop asked cautiously, searching Wooyeon’s face for any sign of anger.

“I’m not mad,” Wooyeon reassured him, but his tone softened. “Just a little worried.”

He knew that one day, if Inseop’s heart weighed heavier for something—or someone—other than him, there would be nothing he could do. All he could do would be to cling desperately, no matter how pathetic it made him.

“Worried about what?” Inseop asked, tilting his head in genuine confusion.

“I’m worried you’ve completely screwed up your life big time, Inseop.”

Inseop blinked. “Huh?”

“Let’s eat. The soup’s going to get cold.”

Inseop, stirring his soup, suddenly asked, “Do you have any debt?”

At that moment, Wooyeon felt a subtle crack form in the emotional walls he’d tried to maintain.

He couldn’t hold back his laughter. 

“Hahaha…”

“Don’t laugh!” Inseop protested, blushing, but Wooyeon couldn’t stop. Even as Inseop repeatedly asked him to, Wooyeon found himself laughing harder.

The call from CEO Kim came that evening.