Vol 6 Ch 11

“……”

 

Inseop stared blankly at the white beluga plushie beside his bed.

 

‘If you’re that disappointed, just make do with this for now.’

 

At the souvenir shop by the aquarium exit, Lee Wooyeon had bought the plushie and handed it to him.

 

‘But don’t think about hugging it to sleep. Unless you want it to explore the lake.’

 

He added an incomprehensible comment.

 

Inseop fiddled with the plushie, then sighed and put it back down. His head throbbed with the complexity of his thoughts. He walked into the bathroom and started running water for a bath. He had showered earlier, but he wanted to soak in the tub.

 

As the tub filled, Inseop undressed and got in.

 

“Ha….”

 

He hugged his knees and exhaled deeply.

 

The scenes from his dreams and today’s events intertwined. It was getting to the point where he couldn’t tell what was a dream and what was reality.

 

Déjà vu. They said it was the phenomenon where the brain, in the process of recollecting memories, caused confusion, making new experiences feel familiar. That must be it.

 

He recalled Lee Wooyeon playfully poking his cheek with the beluga plushie on their way back to Gangwon Province from Seoul. The playful look in his eyes. Just like in his dream….

 

“This is crazy.”

 

Inseop hastily washed his face with water, as if trying to rinse away the thoughts that had just crossed his mind. He was definitely experiencing a mental overload from overthinking. Otherwise, why would he have such thoughts about his own brother…?

 

“Where are you?”

 

He heard Lee Wooyeon’s voice from outside. Inseop, startled like a child caught doing something wrong, quickly replied, “Here!”

 

“What are you doing? I called you several times.”

 

The voice got closer.

 

“I’ll be out in a minute,” Inseop said, hurriedly standing up from the tub. He reached for the robe, but slipped on the wet floor and fell with a loud crash. The bathroom door immediately flew open, and a startled Lee Wooyeon rushed in.

 

“What happened? Did you faint?”

 

“No, I….”

 

“We should go to the hospital. Let’s…”

 

Inseop hastily grabbed Lee Wooyeon’s arm, his face flushed red, and said, “No, it’s not that… I just slipped and fell.”

 

Lee Wooyeon sighed and brushed back Inseop’s disheveled hair. Inseop gulped at the sight.

 

“You didn’t hit your head?”

 

“No.”

 

Inseop shook his head. Still unconvinced, Lee Wooyeon gently felt the back of Inseop’s head with his palm.

 

“I just fell. I’m fine.”

 

“What the hell…”

 

His voice, which had been low, suddenly stopped. Inseop looked up. Lee Wooyeon was staring at him. More precisely, at Inseop’s naked body exposed through the open robe. The look in his eyes was suffocating. It wasn’t anger or disgust. It was something more violent, persistent, and… lewdly desirous….

 

Inseop quickly pulled the robe closed. His throat felt dry and tight, making it hard to breathe.

 

Lee Wooyeon reached out. Like a brute who hadn’t learned manners, he grabbed Inseop’s leg without hesitation.

 

“……”

 

The grip on his ankle felt burning hot. Inseop tried to pull away but couldn’t. The difference in strength was overwhelming. The more he struggled, the more his robe opened, causing him even more distress.

 

“S-stop… Wooyeon-ah….”

 

He wanted to ask him to let go of his leg, but his voice trembled too much to form the words properly.

 

“Say it again.”

 

The low voice demanded.

 

“What?”

 

“My name… say it.”

 

Inseop remembered that he was two years older than Wooyeon. But often, Wooyeon would call him by his name or speak informally, and it never felt strange or awkward. As if it had always been that way.

 

“Wooyeon-ah…. I….”

 

His leg was pulled, spreading his legs so that his groin pressed against Wooyeon’s thigh. Inseop, startled, forgot to breathe and looked up at him. Wooyeon’s broad shoulders filled his view. It felt like facing a starving beast. His mind went blank, he couldn’t breathe, and his heart pounded uncontrollably. Unable to comprehend what was happening, Inseop finally burst into tears.

 

“Ugh…, sob.”

 

Tears fell down his cheeks.

 

“Damn it.”

 

Wooyeon cursed and finally let go of Inseop’s ankle.

 

“Don’t cry.”

 

The gentle voice returned. The kind, affectionate voice of the brother who read him stories every night.

 

Inseop nodded, trying to hold back his sobs. Meanwhile, tears continued to stream down his cheeks. Wooyeon reached out to wipe them away.

 

“……”

 

Inseop flinched and pulled back. Wooyeon’s hand, having lost its direction, withdrew.

 

“Are you hurt anywhere? Besides your head, did you hit anything else when you fell?”

 

Wooyeon asked.

 

“…No.”

 

“I was just trying to help you up so you wouldn’t fall again. I’m sorry for scaring you.”

 

It was a lie. If that were the case, he would have helped him up properly.

 

“Can you get up?”

 

Inseop nodded slightly and grabbed the edge of the tub to stand up. His bruised buttock ached, but he tried not to show it.

 

“No bruises or injuries? Are you sure you’re okay?”

 

“I’m fine. I didn’t hurt myself….”

 

He wanted to tell him to leave. Lee Wooyeon stood up slowly from the bathroom floor.

 

“I prepared dinner. Take your time coming out.”

 

“…Okay.”

 

“Hyung.”

 

The moment Lee Wooyeon called him that, Inseop felt a surge of warmth in his chest, as if something small and weak was clinging to him, begging not to be abandoned.

 

“…The food will get cold, so don’t take too long.”

 

Inseop managed to nod in response.

 

Inseop got up from the tub. It seemed the dinner had been set on the table. During the meal, neither of them spoke. Only the occasional sound of eating and the clinking of utensils broke the silence.

 

“Can we talk for a moment?”

 

As Inseop was finishing his meal and drinking water, Lee Wooyeon spoke first.

 

“I’m a bit tired today…”

 

After a moment of contemplation, Lee Wooyeon nodded and said, “Alright, I understand.”

 

“You don’t have to read me a book tonight. I’ll just go to sleep.”

 

“…Okay.”

 

Inseop retreated to his room.

 

He knew they needed to talk, but he chose to ignore it. He was afraid. There were emotions he shouldn’t uncover.

 

“Ha….”

 

He tried to go back to sleep, but the tightness in his chest made it unbearable. He felt like he needed a glass of cold water.

 

Inseop got out of bed and opened his door. The air in the high-ceilinged living room felt particularly chilly. He pulled his pajamas closer and walked cautiously.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

Startled by the low voice in the dark, Inseop almost fell to the floor.

 

“Are you trying to run away?”

 

It was Lee Wooyeon. Sitting on the sofa in the dark, he looked up and asked.

 

“No, just getting some water.”

 

Inseop managed to answer, and Lee Wooyeon got up and walked to the water dispenser. He filled a cup and handed it to Inseop.

 

Inseop quietly thanked him and took the cup. Their fingers brushed. Lee Wooyeon stood beside him, watching as he drank.

 

…It felt like the water would make him choke again.

 

Inseop managed to finish the water.

 

“Do you want more?”

 

“No.”

 

Lee Wooyeon took the empty cup and placed it in the sink.

 

“Why aren’t you sleeping?”

 

The questioning tone made Inseop’s shoulders tense. He had gone to bed early, refusing the nightly reading.

 

“I woke up.”

 

“You’re not sick, are you?”

 

His voice was so serious that Inseop felt a pang of anxiety.

 

“…I’m fine.”

 

Though his chest felt tight, Inseop brushed it off. Then he noticed the bottle of liquor on the table. It was the first time he had seen Lee Wooyeon drink since they came here.

 

‘Can’t you drink?’

 

One day, Inseop had asked while looking at the wine fridge filled with bottles.

 

‘I can drink just fine. Why?’

 

‘…I was just wondering why you don’t drink.’

 

‘Just in case.’

 

‘What?’

 

‘In case we need to go to the hospital.’

 

It was only after a moment that Inseop understood the meaning of those words. He shook his head, saying that if it was because of him, it was okay and he should drink if he wanted to. Lee Wooyeon just gave a faint smile without saying anything. Even then, he never touched alcohol.

 

“Did you drink a lot?”

 

Two bottles of whiskey were almost empty.

 

“A bit. No, maybe a lot.”

 

It was only then that Inseop realized that Lee Wooyeon was drunk. His speech wasn’t slurred, but his tone was slightly different from usual.

 

“Did something bad happen?”

 

In response to Inseop’s question, Lee Wooyeon let out a short laugh.

 

“Yeah.”

 

A straightforward answer came back.

 

“Today, I felt like shit.”

 

Unlike his usual gentle and mild manner, Lee Wooyeon cursed bluntly.

 

“I kept debating whether to open the door or not. I couldn’t sleep, and I was anxious as hell, wondering if you’d be gone when I opened my eyes. Even though I kept checking…”

 

Lee Wooyeon, who had been speaking incoherently, suddenly looked at Inseop.

 

“…So, I couldn’t sleep and drank instead.”

 

He murmured, leaning his forehead against Inseop’s shoulder as if he were being childish.

Should I not have done that?

 

Inseop felt sorry. He felt guilty for distancing himself from his brother because of what had happened in the bathroom. Maybe he really was just trying to catch him because it was slippery.

 

“…It’s okay to drink.”

 

Inseop said, gently stroking Lee Wooyeon’s hair. He heard a low chuckle.

 

“You always accept everything so well. That’s why a bastard like me keeps getting spoiled.”

 

Lee Wooyeon took a deep breath, as if smelling Inseop’s neck.

 

“…I can’t sleep.”

 

“Should I warm some milk for you?”

 

“What the hell are you talking about? Hahaha.”

 

Lee Wooyeon burst into loud laughter. Seeing his face light up like a boy, Inseop couldn’t help but stare up at him blankly. Their eyes met. Inseop quickly turned his head.

 

“Go to bed.”

 

“…Can’t you read to me?”

 

“What?”

 

“I’ll read to you.”

 

At first, Inseop thought he was asking to be read to, but it seemed that wasn’t the case. Inseop blinked his big eyes and then shook his head.

 

“You’re drunk. Just go to sleep.”

 

“I’m not drunk.”

 

…He’s definitely drunk.

 

Inseop pushed Lee Wooyeon’s back.

 

“Go to bed.”

 

“F**k, I told you I can’t sleep.”

 

Lee Wooyeon sighed and rubbed his face with his palm.

 

“…So let me read. I want to do something.”

 

Inseop hesitated for a moment, then answered, “Then I’ll read to you.”

 

“What?”

 

“I’ll read to you. Until you fall asleep.”

 

Lee Wooyeon chuckled again.

 

“Did you forget what the doctor said? No books, laptops, phones, or TV.”

 

“In that case, I’ll tell you an old story.”

 

Inseop grabbed Lee Wooyeon’s arm and led him away. If he didn’t, he might insist on staying in the living room and continue demanding to be read to.

 

He managed to guide Lee Wooyeon to his room. It was his first time entering Lee Wooyeon’s room. He found a bed that seemed untouched, without any signs of disturbance, as if it had never been used since he came here.

 

Lee Wooyeon used to read books to him every night and left when he fell asleep. In the morning, he went to exercise and always read books on the couch. …Had he ever seen him sleeping?

 

“By any chance….”

 

Inseop was about to ask a question that flashed through his mind, but he gasped and swallowed it. Lee Wooyeon was undressing.

 

“What, what are you doing?”

 

“Go to sleep.”

 

Lee Wooyeon, who had thrown off his T-shirt, replied nonchalantly. His broad and solid shoulders were enough to make him believe he was an athlete.

 

“Why are you taking off your clothes….”

 

“Should I sleep with my clothes on?”

 

Saying that, Lee Wooyeon took off his pants. Afraid he would take off his underwear as well, Inseop quickly laid him down on the bed. He tried to get a chair, but Lee Wooyeon grabbed his wrist.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

With eyes like a child clinging to a mother about to leave him behind.

 

“A chair….”

 

“Just sit here.”

 

Lee Wooyeon sat Inseop down next to him. While Inseop was bewildered, Lee Wooyeon laid his arm across his forehead and let out a long breath. His complexion looked paler than usual, and Inseop couldn’t bring himself to insist on fetching a chair.

 

“…What story should I tell you.”

 

“Except for fairy tales with princesses or princes and moral stories. F**k, skip stories with animals too.”

 

Remembering the fairy tales his mother used to read to him when he was young, Inseop replied with a hazy face, “Got it.” So what story should he tell?

 

After a moment’s hesitation, Inseop opened his mouth. “Once upon a time.”

 

“Mhm.”

 

Lee Wooyeon replied, closing his eyes and smiling with the corners of his eyes folded over. “You don’t have to answer. So there was a boy who lived a long time ago.”

 

Thinking of the novel he had secretly written alone, Inseop hesitated to start the story. Lee Wooyeon closed his eyes and quietly listened to Inseop’s story.

 

“He woke up one day, and the bird he saw in his dream… Are you listening?”

 

“…Yeah.”

 

His voice, now more subdued than before, came back. Inseop resumed the story. How much time had passed? He could hear regular breathing beside him.

 

“Sleeping?”

 

Inseop asked in a very soft voice. There was no answer. He raised his palm and shook Lee Wooyeon’s face twice. He didn’t flinch as if he were really asleep.

 

Inseop cautiously lowered his hand. Lee Wooyeon’s face appeared. A graceful nose that seemed like a painting from his forehead, softly curved eyelashes, and well-shaped lips. … A face that didn’t resemble his at all.

 

“Wooyeon-ah.”

 

Inseop called his younger brother’s name in a barely audible voice. Immediately, as if in response, Lee Wooyeon opened his eyes. When their eyes met, he smiled as if to answer. A sincere laugh with no boundaries, like that of a boy. Lee Wooyeon reached out his arms and embraced Inseop.

 

“……!”

 

Shocked, Inseop struggled to break free but found himself unable to move. Wooyeon clung to him like a young animal feeling cold, pressing Inseop against his body.

 

“Wait, I… just a moment…”

 

The irregular breathing resumed. It finally dawned on Inseop that Wooyeon had pulled him into this embrace while half-asleep. He was deeply unconscious. Inseop withdrew his hand that was about to push him away.

 

“…Can’t sleep.”

 

Wooyeon’s murmuring voice resurfaced. It was so faint, almost like he was talking to himself.

 

Let’s wait a little longer and then leave. There’s no point in going out now; he might wake up for no reason. …He looked really tired.

 

Inseop silently watched Wooyeon, who was sound asleep.

 

That earlier thing must have been his misunderstanding. His memories were jumbled up, and for no reason, he got overly sensitive and… he should apologize tomorrow.

 

Inseop closed his eyes and silently wished Wooyeon a goodnight in his thoughts.

 

Have a good dream.