Vol 4 Ch 5

“Are you tired?”

 

After walking for about ten minutes, Wooyeon turned around and asked. Wiping the sweat from his forehead, Inseop replied honestly, “A little.”

 

“Should I carry you?”

 

“No, I’m okay.”

 

“Then hold my hand.”

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“I’m asking you to hold my hand because I’m tired.”

 

With no sweat and no sign of breathlessness, Wooyeon shamelessly reached out his hand. Glancing around, Inseop reluctantly took his hand. Wooyeon interlocked their fingers firmly and started walking slowly.

 

“Is it uncomfortable?”

 

After pushing through the dense bushes to make it easier for Inseop to walk, Wooyeon suddenly spoke up.

 

“Whenever I saw people holding hands like this before, I didn’t understand why they did it. It’s hot and bothersome. Why bother?”

 

“…Yes.”

 

“If you want to feel good by touching something, you might as well hold onto genitals or breasts. Don’t you think so?”

 

“Unfortunately, according to social norms, that’s not acceptable…”

 

Inseop replied seriously, and Wooyeon chuckled in response.

 

“Anyway, I wondered what the significance of holding hands was. It seemed ridiculous and cumbersome.”

 

Glancing around, Inseop tried to subtly withdraw his hand, but Wooyeon firmly held onto it tighter than before.

 

“Why are you trying to let go?”

 

“Oh, it’s just that…”

 

“You don’t want to hold hands? Because it’s cumbersome and bothersome? Why do I feel like it’s such a hassle?”

 

“Oh, no. It’s definitely not like that. Not at all.”

 

“If you don’t like holding hands, you can hold onto something that doesn’t fit social norms.”

 

“…I like holding hands.”

 

Inseop added quietly, firmly holding onto Wooyeon’s hand. Every time he reacted seriously to Wooyeon’s teasing jokes, Wooyeon couldn’t help but stop the teasing. Suppressing his laughter, he held onto a tree branch.

 

“Pay attention to where you’re walking. So you won’t trip.”

 

“Got it.”

 

After walking for a while, Wooyeon who was walking ahead said, “We’re here,” and stepped aside. Suddenly, their view widened. Inseop looked up with a gasp.

 

“Wow….”

 

A small exclamation escaped Inseop’s lips.

 

A serene lake, untouched by human feet, surrounded by wildflowers and swaying reeds. It was like a beautiful painting casually brushed by a master on the verge of death.

 

“Do you like it?”

 

Inseop nodded vigorously with slightly parted lips. His big eyes sparkled.

 

“It’s the private property of a relative of the director, but it hasn’t been opened to anyone. He’s such an eccentric old man. But luckily… .”

“… … ?”

He was able to film because he had recently died, and he swallowed the words in his throat that he had asked the director to set foot here.

“Fortunately, we got permission.”

 

Wooyeon vaguely explained the stroke of luck that allowed them to enjoy this scenery.

 

“It’s really amazing.”

 

…So that Inseop can feel relieved and happy.

 

“The lake is incredibly clean. You can see the bottom, and the clouds reflecting in it make it so beautiful. The flowers are blooming like a real painting, and there’s that tree over there…”

 

Excitedly, Inseop pointed to the beautiful scenery and looked back at his companion. Wooyeon, who had never once taken his eyes off Inseop, smiled loosely and nodded along.

 

Inseop realized why Wooyeon had gone to the trouble of bringing him all the way to Gangwon-do.

 

“Do you like it?”

 

Wooyeon asked. He had no interest in such scenery. He would say that every famous tourist spot in the world looks the same to him.

 

“You like this kind of thing.”

 

Wooyeon stated, as if confirming. Inseop, with a wide smile on his face, nodded faintly.

 

“…I like it.”

 

Even though he had no interest, he genuinely liked his partner, who was willing to endure inconvenience to show him things he liked.

 

“I’m glad. Because you like it.”

 

Wooyeon murmured softly, lightly kissing Inseop’s hand that he was holding onto.

 

“We only took a few shots for the photoshoot here earlier, and I thought of you, Inseop. So I called you.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“I also want to give you a gift.”

 

“What kind of gift?”

 

Wooyeon looked affectionately at his adorable partner. The wind swept through the space between the two. Wooyeon slowly fixed Inseop’s disheveled hair.

 

“Do you know what day it is today?”

 

“Today?”

 

Inseop tried hard to remember, recalling his schedule in his mind. It wasn’t their birthdays, not a special day in Korea, and not a holiday… What day is it?

 

As Inseop blinked silently, Wooyeon chuckled and turned his head towards the lakeside.

 

“The day you returned to Korea from the United States.”

 

“Ah…. I’m sorry. I should have remembered too….”

 

Wooyeon wasn’t the type to remember anniversaries. But Inseop felt genuinely sorry for forgetting such an important day.

 

“I found out today too.”

 

While coming to the shooting location, Wooyeon absentmindedly picked up the scheduler stuck beside the van seat. The old scheduler he used a few years ago was filled with numbers.

 

A countdown.

 

Turning each page, reaching the final number, there was a red circle drawn with a red pen on today’s date, marked as ‘returning home.’ It was clear without searching who had been waiting for the return.

 

“I waited every day back then.”

 

After receiving Inseop’s message that he was coming back to Korea, Wooyeon started the countdown. And he realized how distant he was from waiting.

 

Saying ‘I’ll come someday’ and ‘when will you come’ were worlds apart. At first, it was nice, but as time went on, his mouth dried up.

 

What if something suddenly came up and he couldn’t return? What if his family stopped him from coming? …It would be natural to choose his family over someone who had fundamentally wronged him. But if his feelings changed, or if someone else appeared during that time… F**k.

 

For ten days before his return, Wooyeon drove to the airport every night. Sometimes he watched the planes taking off and landing all night long. There were days when he did that. And there were days when he had no memory for a few days. He barely slept. He argued with CEO Kim, who had scheduled him for that day, and waited at the airport from morning.

 

Reading and rereading Inseop’s message that he had departed, he checked the airport’s departure board. What if he suddenly changed his mind and turned back? Suppressing the fiery anxiety was all he could do. He waited for Inseop to come to him. The gate opened, and Inseop entered, pushing only one carry-on. He hesitated to call his name but stopped when he saw him. Their eyes met. When he saw Inseop approaching with a bright smile, his breath caught.

 

“Honestly, I thought there was nothing I could do if you didn’t come.”

 

He was afraid. It felt like something inside him was crumbling. It was so good like this, because he liked him so much. …He felt like a stupid little kid, not knowing what to do or what to say.

 

“At that time, I really acted like a fuckingbastard…. Plus, with that incident too….”

Wooyeon’s voice trailed off, unable to even mention the event where Inseop was stabbed.

“No, it’s not like that. Of course, I was going to come. I’m sorry for being so late. At that time, I had to convince my parents, and also tidy up things around me….”

“I know.”

Wooyeon knew how much Inseop loved his family. In a well-maintained yard, there would have been laughter that never ceased. Stairs with handprints leading upstairs, family photos adorning the walls. Perhaps among them was a photo of a family laughing with mud-stained clothes, a mess from playing in the mud.

When he made the decision to let Inseop go, what he had vividly pictured in his mind was Inseop surrounded by his family in the United States. Swallowing the anxiety and shame that felt like it would burn his throat, he could only recall Inseop’s smiling face.

“I know it very well.”

Looking at the only thing he had taken out of ordinary and peaceful happiness, Wooyeon spoke.

“Mr. Inseop has come to me three times.”

“Three times?”

“To the lake, to pick me up.”

The first time was a choice driven by involuntary deliberate revenge, the second time was a decision with a definite deliberate intention for love.

And the third time was a desperate confession. Tattered and untidy, without even the luxury of packaging, it was a sincere confession that if it wasn’t you, it would never do.

“Thank you for coming to me three times. I wanted to say that.”

His lips parted. Closing his eyes at the gentle kiss, Inseop leaned in. Wooyeon cautiously kissed him, like a boy kissing for the first time.

“…No matter how many times, I’ll come. Of course, I’ll do that.”

Between sweet kisses that felt like suffocation, Inseop cautiously confessed his feelings.

“Meeting over ten times and still not remembering, what a damn idiot.”

Wooyeon responded playfully with a laugh.

“Well, you see….”

Every time this topic came up, Inseop furrowed his brow and earnestly presented his excuses.

We had a few conversations back then, but they were meaningless conversations, it’s the level of passing by someone whose face you can’t recognize, not everyone becomes close just because there’s a point of contact, back then I wasn’t someone noticeable, of course, I’m not that kind of person now either, but anyway, Mr. Wooyeon is not at fault, etc. With a sweaty face and furrowed brows, watching Inseop vigorously defend his past self, Wooyeon always felt a strange feeling.

Inseop always tried to defend him from Wooyeon’s perspective. Sometimes, he even thought sincerely about excuses for even trivial things.

Ah, but that’s not the real issue.

Would he really want to ponder over that when he has a man in front of him who sincerely considers it fortunate that they could meet because his closest friend committed suicide, or when he has a man who thinks it’s lucky that an old man he doesn’t even know died so he could show this lake to him?

“It’s okay if you don’t remember.”

Inseop said to Wooyeon.

“It’s okay if you don’t remember that time. Because we can remember the times we’ll continue to spend together in the future….”

Stopping there, Inseop took a small breath and continued.

“Just thinking about that alone makes me feel unbelievably lucky….”

Unbelievably lucky.

Wooyeon carefully rolled the words spoken by Inseop around in his mouth.

“Um, Mr. Wooyeon.”

Inseop cautiously called out to Wooyeon.

“Yes?”

“I didn’t prepare a gift. What should I do? …If there’s anything you want, I’ll do it for you.”

He had mentioned earlier that he had thought of it today too. But seeing Inseop sincerely apologizing, Wooyeon felt a murky feeling stirring in his chest.

…Should I ask him to suck me off?

“Anything?”

“Yes. Anything.”

At that moment, an old bench came into Wooyeon’s view. It seemed suitable for lying down and having s*x together.

“Shall we go over there?”

Wooyeon took Inseop’s hand and led him.

Under a large tree, there was an old bench. The bench, marked by the passage of time, showed no signs of human presence.

“Just a moment.”

Inseop took out his handkerchief and began to wipe away the dust piled up on the bench. Wooyeon casually tossed the suitcase he was carrying onto the bench.

“Sit here.”

“No, it’s okay. Just….”

Wooyeon insisted, seating Inseop and himself beside him. “Your clothes will get wrinkled.”

Inseop could roughly guess the price of the clothes he was wearing. Because he had meticulously memorized the brands of the clothes Wooyeon wore when he was his manager.

“If they get wrinkled, I’ll straighten them out.”

Wooyeon plopped down next to Inseop. Then, he turned his body to lie down, resting his head on Inseop’s thigh to prevent him from getting up.

“I’m going to take a nap.”

The thought of having simple outdoor s*x on the bench had changed. Wooyeon chuckled mischievously and closed his eyes.

“Here? Right now?”

“Since you said you’d do anything for me. I’ll take a nap here, lying on your lap, Mr. Inseop.”

Wooyeon shamelessly joked with closed eyes. Inseop looked around nervously, as if expecting someone to come.

“No one will come. It’s private property.”

“The landowner might come.”

Wooyeon thought about telling Inseop that the landowner was inside the land. But he decided against it because it seemed a waste of the current peaceful tranquility.

“The landowner won’t come from far away, will they?”

Wooyeon hugged Inseop’s waist, pulling him close and settling in comfortably. Inseop trembled in surprise a few times.

“…If someone sees us….”

“I’ll dump them in the lake.”

“……”

“Or bury them under that mountain.”

“….Mr. Wooyeon.”

Wooyeon lightly laughed and buried his head in Inseop’s thigh. Inseop gently tapped Wooyeon’s shoulder again.

As the conversation between the two disappeared, they were soon enveloped in a relaxed and abundant silence.

Inseop tapped his lover’s broad shoulders and looked up at the lake. It resembled the memory from a dream he had a few days ago.

If there was one crucial difference….

The breeze flowing down the mountains stirred the surface of the lake.

The sound of rustling leaves, the whispering of dense grass, the rhythmic breathing of a man near his knee.

Inseop glanced down at Wooyeon. His face seemed infinitely peaceful, as if he were truly asleep.

He never dared to imagine it would turn out like this.

Every morning when he woke up, Inseop pinched his cheek, but the sense of reality was still lacking. It was probably because he remembered the past, Inseop thought.

 

“If there had been a connection between us at that time, this kind of relationship could have happened anytime,” Wooyeon said, as if it were a habit, but Inseop was skeptical of that opinion.

 

How could he replace the Phillip from back then…

 

Inseop swallowed a sigh inwardly. Phillip had never given him a second glance. Even though they had crossed paths so many times, it was natural that nothing memorable remained.

 

In truth, even the present Wooyeon was like a miraculous stroke of luck to him. Inseop was always grateful for that stroke of luck. If he wished for the same miracle twice, it felt like he might receive a harsh punishment from a greedy fate. And he was afraid. If their relationship were to revert to a blank slate, even if I tried my best, it might not lead to this result. Just the thought of it made his heart feel empty as if the blood were draining from it.

 

…Now, I don’t even want to imagine time without you.

 

That’s when it happened. Perhaps it was because of the wind, but the sunlight brushed against Wooyeon’s eyes as the leaves rustled. Inseop quickly raised his hand to create shade, thinking he might wake up.

 

He wanted to do anything for Wooyeon, who had brought him here to show him this beautiful scenery. Although he didn’t know if Wooyeon truly desired a nap on the bench, since Wooyeon had said so, he had to do it now.

 

He heard a faint chuckle near his knee.

 

“…You’re not sleeping?”

 

“No. I am.”

 

Wooyeon’s lips already held a relaxed smile as if asleep.

 

“Will you keep lying down?”

 

“The one who put me to sleep should wake me up.”

 

Wooyeon seemed to have no intention of waking up, as he merely tightened his grip on Inseop’s waist. Then, he spoke naturally.

 

“To be honest, I’m too scared to open my eyes.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Wooyeon reached out and lightly scratched Inseop’s palm, which was shading him.

 

“This.”

 

“……”

 

“Before, you did this for me in a dream. I was sleeping on a bench. My face was sunburned and all red.”

 

Wooyeon brought Inseop’s palm down to his lips and lightly kissed it, as if playing a prank.

 

“I don’t want to wake up if it’s a dream.”

 

“……”

 

Inseop swallowed softly. That day, he had briefly met Phillip upon him waking up. Dreams are made from the subconscious and memories. Maybe Wooyeon remembered him a little. The thought made his heart race as if it were crumbling. Inseop gnawed at his dry lips.

 

I like this person too much. …They’re too lovely. I…

 

“Shall we go now?” Wooyeon opened his eyes. As their gazes met, warmth spread throughout his body, and his heart thudded.

 

‘Then try to seduce me. Because I’m confident I can get over it.’

 

Wooyeon’s voice flashed through his mind.

 

“We should go before the traffic builds up. You must be tired, Inseop…”

 

Inseop grabbed Wooyeon’s sleeve. Wooyeon turned his body.

 

“Um, I’m not sure how this will sound, but…”

 

Inseop’s voice was trembling uncontrollably. He couldn’t lift his head properly, and cold sweat dripped from his palms.

 

[…I’ll lend you that book next time. I really enjoyed reading it.]

 

Wooyeon blinked with a slightly puzzled expression at the sudden English.

 

[So, with me…]

 

Would you like to come over to my place? Understanding the meaning behind the coy remark, Wooyeon eventually burst into laughter.

 

“Hahaha.”

 

Inseop’s face flushed red, and he grabbed onto Wooyeon’s hem, trying to stop him from laughing. But it was futile. Wooyeon stood there, laughing heartily for a while. When he finally stopped laughing, he raised his shoulders in a nonchalant manner. Wooyeon looked up with a mischievous smile.

 

[Show me the album and I’ll come.]

 

Like a mischievous boy, he extended his large hand. The wind picked up over the lake. The leaves rustled, and the scent of water and grass mixed in the summer air. With every inhale, the deep blue scent of summer filled the air. The lake surface shimmered like broken pieces of a mirror. With a smile full of happiness, Inseop slowly reached out his hand and held Wooyeon’s hand.

 

Among the many days they could remember together, it was a summer day.

 

[End]