Vol 5 Ch 3

“Could you please drink some water?”

 

Lee Wooyeon handed the water bottle to Inseop, who thanked him softly and nodded in acknowledgment. However, he simply stared out the window blankly after accepting the bottle of water. Lee Wooyeon personally unscrewed the cap of the water bottle and offered it to Inseop again.

 

“Drink up. Get some sleep. We still have a long way to go until we arrive.”

 

“Yes. I’ll do that.”

 

Inseop drank the water, his eyes underneath reddened and swollen.

 

Inseop’s grandmother had passed away. Lee Wooyeon, in place of Inseop, who was frantically crying, booked the fastest available tickets and packed their belongings. Of course, Lee Wooyeon also boarded the plane with him. He couldn’t possibly leave Inseop alone.

 

“Here, give me. You might spill it.”

 

Lee Wooyeon indicated the half-empty water bottle he had been drinking from. Inseop, who had been absentmindedly fiddling with the bottle, looked up in surprise. Lee Wooyeon took the half-empty bottle, closed the lid, and set it down beside him.

 

“Go to sleep.”

 

Inseop nodded and closed his eyes. But Lee Wooyeon knew he couldn’t sleep.

 

After hanging up the phone, Inseop continued to cry. It was only natural for his grandmother to pass away. It was a miracle that she had lasted this long. He had been on the brink of death numerous times. Yet Inseop cried as if faced with unexpected sorrow. He hadn’t eaten anything except water until now.

 

That’s why he couldn’t possibly take a plane alone.

 

Lee Wooyeon swallowed a sigh as he looked at Inseop’s swollen eyes.

 

“I’m sorry,” Inseop’s small voice came through. Lee Wooyeon asked what for.

 

“You’re busy, and yet you’re bothered because of me…”

 

“I’m not busy. I haven’t had work lately.”

 

“Still…”

 

Lee Wooyeon leaned closer to Inseop’s side. Then, he whispered softly.

 

“If you keep talking nonsense, I’ll get off right here.” Inseop’s eyes widened in surprise. The plane departing from Incheon Airport was flying over the ocean.

 

“If you can’t sleep, shall I read you a book?”

 

“No, it’s okay.”

 

Inseop tried to smile, pretending to be fine. But his large eyes still brimmed with tears.

 

“Please get some sleep too, Wooyeon. You must be tired.”

 

Inseop pulled the blanket up to cover his face.

 

“Okay.”

 

Lee Wooyeon closed his eyes. His sensitized mind couldn’t easily settle beneath the surface of sleep.

 

What could he say that would be helpful?

 

Upon hearing the news of his grandmother’s passing, his first concern was for Inseop. Inseop always put his whole heart into those he cared about, whether it was family, friends, or even animals. He had cried for days when a d**n dog died. If he cried so much over just one dog, how much more would he cry this time? Especially since he was already prone to stress, it was only natural to worry.

 

After answering the phone call, he held Inseop in his arms and comforted him for a long time in the car. He told him several times, “Please don’t cry, Inseop”. But Inseop couldn’t stop crying easily.

 

What should he have done?

 

Should he have told him a little lie that she had gone to a better place? Or should he have said some stupid nonsense like “If you cry too much, grandma will feel sad”? …D**n it, even if he tried to comfort him, he knew it wasn’t sincere.

 

The stifled sound of sobbing could be heard from within the blanket. Lee Wooyeon considered lifting the blanket but then withdrew his hand. Right now, simply being by Inseop’s side was all he could do.

 

***

 

The funeral held at the small church was unremarkable and ordinary. After the tedious pastor’s service concluded, a time for mourning the deceased was arranged. Family and friends took turns expressing how much they loved the deceased and how special her life was.

 

[Emma was truly a special person. I’ve never met anyone as fun and warm-hearted as her in my life. As everyone here can attest,] said one person warmly.

 

In the warm and solemn atmosphere, the remembrance continued.

 

[As I see all the wonderful people filling this place, I feel like she must have lived a very happy life,]

 

Lee Wooyeon looked expressionlessly at the podium. His gaze fell on Inseop. Dressed in a black suit, he sat among the family, sincerely mourning.

 

Upon getting off the plane, Wooyeon had accompanied Inseop home.

 

‘Is the funeral tomorrow afternoon?’ Wooyeon asked, catching Inseop’s attention.

 

‘Why? I wasn’t invited, so should I not go?’

 

‘Oh no, you can come. Of course, you should come,’ Inseop waved his hands.

 

‘Then, see you tomorrow.’

 

Wooyeon handed Inseop his bag and turned away. Inseop grabbed him.

 

‘Yes?’

 

‘Are you okay?’

 

‘What’s wrong?’

 

‘You seem tired. You haven’t adjusted to the time difference.’

 

‘If I haven’t adjusted, neither have you.’

 

Wooyeon replied nonchalantly. Inseop fidgeted with his clothes.

 

‘What are you so worried about?’

 

‘… You don’t like funerals.’

 

Wooyeon recalled a comment from some time ago. He lightly patted Inseop’s cheek with the back of his hand and smiled,

 

‘You worry too much.’

 

Unlike the three-day funerals in Korea, funeral customs in the United States typically last only a few hours. Of course, those few hours were incredibly boring and dull. If one had to choose, Korean funeral customs were much more comfortable. You could become a well-mannered person just by giving a little money for the offering.

 

Throughout the funeral, Wooyeon didn’t take his eyes off Inseop. His eyes were even more swollen overnight, probably from crying all night. The family sitting beside him shared their grief by patting each other’s shoulders.

 

[Emma’s courage and dedication will remain a great joy in my life. I already miss her. But I feel like I’ll see her soon,] added an elderly man with white hair, bringing laughter to the room.

 

Wooyeon suddenly remembered a cousin’s funeral he attended while in the United States. It was a tragic accident caused by a drunk driver, resulting in severe damage to the body, so they didn’t even open the casket. He was grateful that they didn’t have to pretend with empty words. The atmosphere at the funeral of the sixteen-year-old victim was dismal. He sat silently with a blank face like everyone else.

 

On the way home after the funeral, his mother burst into tears.

 

She cherished and loved his deceased cousin as if he were her own child. No, perhaps she even wished he were her own. His deceased cousin was a proper human being unlike himself. Whether or not it mattered to him was irrelevant. The mistake of choice was his mother’s, not his.

 

While his mother was crying, a message arrived on his phone. He had originally planned to have lunch with the woman he attended tennis lessons with that day. When she was told he had to attend his cousin’s funeral, she couldn’t believe it and he grumbled, so he put on a black suit, took a picture in front of the church, and sent it. Then the messages started coming, asking if he couldn’t just meet as planned today, dressed like that.

 

“Crazy b**ch.”

 

Thinking that, Wooyeon let out a chuckle, which became the source of trouble. His mother, shedding tears, turned around and yelled at him.

 

[Philip, aren’t you sad that Dylan died?]

 

[I expressed enough mourning.]

 

Following people’s conventions, he made sad faces, kept silent, and endured for a few hours. He responded like that because he thought he had done his duty.

 

[How can you not shed a single tear?]

 

[Oh. Was I supposed to shed tears?]

 

[Dylan was as good as your brother!]

 

His mother yelled as if accusing him. It was true that he and his cousin of the same age had no major issues. Since they had known each other since childhood, it was fine to consider them as brothers. However, he didn’t have any special feelings.

 

It would have been the same even if his younger sister had died. Moreover, he didn’t want to pretend to cry even outside the funeral.

 

[Do you really not have any emotions?]

 

His mother’s expression as she asked this was filled with disgust and fear.

 

It’s not that he didn’t have emotions. It’s just that those emotions weren’t being utilized correctly.

 

Inside the church, there were occasional glimpses of people wiping tears. The church was filled with people sincerely mourning her death. He wasn’t a suitable human to mourn the death of an elderly person he had never spoken to. Inseop knew that well.

 

Around Inseop sat his family members. Whenever Inseop couldn’t hold back his tears and his shoulders shook, his younger brothers behind him would huddle and embrace him tightly.

 

The moment he saw Inseop sitting in the world where he should belong, his heart twisted. He almost wanted to forcibly twist Inseop’s wrist and bring him to his side.

 

He felt a gaze. Inseop, sitting in front, was looking at him. He subtly nodded in acknowledgment. Inseop replied with his eyes. After Inseop turned away, Aaron, sitting next to him, looked in his direction. It was a gaze full of animosity.

 

That b**t**d.

 

Someday, he would have to spread Inseop’s legs and screw him in front of that b**t**d’s eyes.

 

He swallowed the smirk that came with that thought. If Inseop knew that he was having such thoughts at his loving grandmother’s funeral, surely this time he would lose affection for him.

 

He didn’t want to make the same mistake twice.

 

After coming here and briefly greeting Inseop, he sat down far away without speaking. This distance was appropriate.

 

He fiddled with the ring on his finger out of habit.

 

Then it happened. The front started bustling with people. It was where Inseop was sitting.

 

[Peter. Get a hold of yourself. Peter.]

 

Lee Wooyeon stood up and rushed forward. Inseop, who had collapsed on the floor, was being held by Aaron.

[It’s okay. I’m just a little dizzy….]

Inseop weakly smiled and tried to get up.

[You had a fever since this morning. Mom told you to rest, didn’t she?]

[Don’t worry, Mom. It’s nothing. I couldn’t sleep well, that’s all.]

[It won’t do. Let’s go home and rest.]

Inseop’s mother looked worried.

[Yeah. It’s better to rest at home. It was too much to come back yesterday and see my brother.]

Inseop nodded at Aaron’s words.

“[ust sitting for a bit might help….]

“Let’s go home.”

The voice from above made everyone’s gaze shift momentarily. Wooyeon knelt down and sat next to Inseop.

“Can you get up?”

Inseop nodded and tried to get up. Wooyeon helped him up.

“I’ll take you.”

“It’s okay….”

Inseop, about to say it’s okay, shut his mouth when he met Wooyeon’s chilling gaze.

[I’ll take you home. It’ll be more convenient for your brother too.]

Aaron took out the car keys from his pocket and walked out.

[Aaron.]

Inseop called out his younger brother’s name. Then he smiled quietly and said.

[You should say hello to Grandma for me.]

[…Okay.]

Aaron nodded reluctantly. Inseop sought his parents’ permission and stood up from his seat.

“Stay here for a moment.”

Saying so, Wooyeon fetched the car and helped Inseop get in. As soon as Inseop got into the car, Wooyeon touched his forehead with his hand.

“You have a fever.”

Wooyeon put on a worried expression. Inseop smiled vaguely.

“Sleep. I’ll wake you up when we arrive.”

“…Sorry.”

Instead of answering, Wooyeon kissed Inseop’s forehead. Then he gently said, “Sleep tight,” as if comforting a child. Inseop closed his eyes. Consciousness floated between rationality and sleep due to the swaying of the car and the fever.

“Inseop.”

Despite hearing the voice calling him, Inseop couldn’t seem to open his eyes.

“Where are the keys? Are they in your pocket?”

It seemed like he managed to nod his head. It felt like his body was floating. Someone was carrying him up the stairs. The sound of creaking wooden stairs echoed. Inseop liked that sound. It reminded him of the dreams he had when he used to go up and down the stairs.