Vol 5 Ch 18

When Inseop had to wrap up his life in Korea and move to the United States to live with Wooyeon, he had to share things he hadn’t previously mentioned. For instance, the fact that he often caught colds when the seasons changed.

The first time he fell ill with a fever, Wooyeon was quite alarmed. Although Inseop explained that it was just a simple cold, Wooyeon insisted on going to the hospital for various tests before finally accepting that it was indeed a cold. The second time Inseop fell ill, Wooyeon didn’t panic as much. He simply took him to the hospital again for tests and nursed him with slightly more confidence than before.

“…I’m sorry.”

His body, weak to even the slightest changes in temperature and humidity, reacted as expected.

“What are you sorry for?”

Wooyeon responded while checking Inseop’s temperature with a thermometer. Inseop mumbled, unable to answer properly. Since moving here, Wooyeon had quit his acting career. Inseop, wanting to help somehow, had started a part-time job translating papers for a professor he knew. Pushing himself to meet a tight deadline over the past few days had taken its toll on his body.

“For bothering you.”

Wooyeon checked the thermometer and adjusted Inseop’s pillow.

“It’s not a bother at all. Does this happen often?”

“What?”

“The cold. Did this happen frequently in Korea too?”

“…Yes.”

In Korea, where the seasons were more distinct, his colds were often more severe.

Wooyeon’s expression darkened at this answer. Inseop regretted saying anything. They hadn’t been living together for long, and he felt ashamed for showing only his weak side.

“You lived alone back then.”

Wooyeon continued, frowning.

“When you got sick alone, what did you do?”

Inseop’s life in Korea, during the time when they had no contact, had been entirely solitary.

Is he worried about that?

Inseop smiled slightly and replied, “I took medicine and slept.” Wooyeon sighed and covered Inseop’s forehead with his hand.

“Then you’ve taken your medicine, so sleep now.”

“Okay.”

Inseop closed his eyes. The medication and fever soon clouded his consciousness. Amidst this, he felt the large hand gently caressing his face. He wanted to ask Wooyeon to keep touching him, but he couldn’t shake off the sleepiness.

Perhaps because of their earlier conversation, he dreamt of his days living alone in Korea. Whenever he caught a cold, he would take medicine, cover himself with a thick blanket, and try to sleep. Sometimes he would wake up in the middle of the night, shivering because his blanket was soaked with sweat.

Lonely, scared, and in pain. He would cry himself awake, only to find himself still alone.

It hurts. It hurts so much, and it’s so hard. I want to go home… Jenny, …Mom, Dad… I’m scared.

He opened his eyes with difficulty. His vision was blurred with fever. Unsure of where he was, he lay still for a while before getting up and looking around. No one was in sight. He wanted to call out for someone, but his throat was sore, and his voice wouldn’t come out properly.

…It hurts, it’s hard. Why is no one here? There was a large hand just now….

“Inseop?”

A man’s voice called from behind, and Inseop turned his head. Wooyeon, who had been startled, set down the water bottle he was holding and rushed over to Inseop.

“Why are you up? Are you hurt?”

The large hand grabbed Inseop’s arm. The moment he felt Wooyeon’s warmth, the fragile emotions he had barely managed to hold together collapsed.

“Should we go to the hospital?”

Wooyeon’s deep voice trembled with concern. Inseop shook his head. Wooyeon placed his large hand on Inseop’s forehead.

“Your fever is high. Let’s get you back to bed….”

“…Stay….”

“What?”

“…Stay with me.”

Inseop gripped the hem of Wooyeon’s clothes tightly. Wooyeon, looking a bit flustered, glanced at Inseop’s hand and then nodded. He bent down and lifted Inseop up.

“Hug my neck.”

Usually, Inseop would insist he could walk by himself, but this time, he obediently wrapped his arms around Wooyeon’s neck. Wooyeon carried him to the bed and laid him down.

“Inseop.”

“…Yes.”

Inseop closed his eyes. The sudden movement had made him dizzy, and his vision spun.

“I went downstairs to get water. I thought you might need to take your medicine.”

“…Okay.”

“I’ll get the water bottle I left in the hallway.”

Wooyeon explained each step kindly, even though he was only leaving for a moment. Inseop nodded, and Wooyeon soon returned with the water bottle. He checked Inseop’s temperature again and gently woke him up.

“Inseop, I think you should take some medicine. Your fever is too high.”

“…I don’t want to.”

“But you have to.”

His voice was soothing, like he was comforting a child. When you’re sick, your heart becomes weak. Even a little kindness from someone makes you want to lean on them completely.

Inseop clung to Wooyeon and started to cry, tears he had been holding back.

“Does it hurt a lot?”

He nodded in response. It did hurt. It hurt so much and it was scary, but he couldn’t tell anyone, and that was the hardest part. Even after waking up from a long struggle, the pain persisted, as if it was only natural to be in pain.

“Should we go to the hospital?”

“…I don’t want to go to the hospital.”

“You don’t want to do anything.”

Wooyeon’s large hand stroked his sweat-drenched forehead. Inseop closed his eyes and murmured, “I like it.”

“What do you like?”

“…When you touch me like this, with your hand….”

Inseop nuzzled his cheek against Wooyeon’s large hand like a child seeking comfort. Wooyeon sighed softly. Inseop, curious, opened his eyes slightly.

“…Even when you’re sick, you’re still so lovely….”

Wooyeon mumbled with a sigh, gently patting Inseop’s cheek.

“Even if you don’t like it, you need to take your medicine. You need it to bring your fever down. Otherwise, we’ll have to go to the hospital.”

Reluctantly, Inseop sat up. Wooyeon took out the medicine and fed it to Inseop with some water. The bitter taste made Inseop grimace.

“Is it bitter? Should I get you some candy?”

Inseop chuckled softly at the way he was being treated like a child. In that moment, their lips met briefly, like taking a bite of ice cream. From a distance that felt almost touchable, the man looked at Inseop with warm, intense eyes.

“I’m sorry… for holding onto a sick person.”

Lee Wooyeon gently laid Inseop back on the bed. Inseop tossed and turned; perhaps his stomach wasn’t feeling well due to the medication.

“Is your stomach not feeling well?”

Lee Wooyeon quickly noticed Inseop’s condition and asked. Inseop nodded. Lee Wooyeon then took Inseop to the bathroom. He held onto the sink for a while, feeling like he wanted to vomit, but nothing came out. Inseop rinsed his mouth and returned to bed.

“Do you want some water?”

Inseop shook his head.

“Should I read you a book?”

“…I’m okay.”

Lee Wooyeon gently brushed Inseop’s hair, his worried gaze focused entirely on Inseop’s pale, frail body.

“Inseop.”

“…Yes.”

“What can I do to help you?”

A tender voice. Inseop closed his eyes at the man’s voice that reached his ears. Sadness from a corner of his memory surged forth.

“…I waited.”

Was it because of that? For the first time, he expressed a petulant thought.

“Yes?”

“After the surgery… I kept waiting, wanting to see your face…”

Since waking up in the hospital after being stabbed with a knife, Inseop had continued to wait for Lee Wooyeon. He hoped he would come with a bouquet of flowers, giving his trademark cheeky smile even if it was a farewell greeting.

“But even as I prepared to leave Korea to recuperate in the United States, Lee Wooyeon never once came to see me.”

“…Because I didn’t have the courage.”

His voice, barely audible, mixed with a heavy sigh.

“I couldn’t bear to send you off to the United States. I’m sorry… for being such a person.”

Soft, tender lips touched his forehead and retreated. Every day, every moment, he waited for him. He hoped the hospital door would open and he would walk in with a smile.

“I’m sorry, Inseop. …But still, I went there every day.”

The man’s large hand gently stroked Inseop’s forehead. Amidst the lingering drowsiness and the effects of the medicine, his eyes slowly closed.

“…Every day… all night… in front of you…”

Like confessing a sin he committed, the man softly pleaded with Inseop in a subdued voice.

“…Because I… wanted to…”

The large hand cautiously swept his hair aside. Even though a fever returned between his closed eyes, he didn’t feel as lonely or as sorrowful as before.

—

Inseop woke up from his sleep and realized after a while that he had been dreaming of his life in the United States.

Inseop sat up. He hadn’t slept deeply enough, tossing and turning until dawn before finally taking his medicine and closing his eyes.

What time is it?

Inseop checked the clock and got out of bed. Throughout his shower, he couldn’t stop thinking about Lee Wooyeon from his dream.

“…Every day, sitting alone in front of the hospital, on a bench… all night…”

The image of the man sitting alone in front of the hospital came to mind.

“…Because I wanted to see you…”

Inseop turned off the shower. The stream of water pouring over his head abruptly stopped.

Lee Wooyeon had wanted to see him.