Vol 3 Ch 12

Entering the room, Phillip dropped his bag and threw himself on the bed.

 

As soon as class was over, Chloe grabbed his hand and led him to the corner. When she was sure no one was around, she lunged at him as if she’d been waiting for this moment.

 

‘Are you crazy? When did I say that? Why are you making someone look bad over something I didn’t say?’

 

It’s not hard to see who Jaina would have run to after her failed attempt to slap Phillip across the face.

 

‘Making someone look bad? Did I?’

 

Phillip asked, tilting his head.

 

‘You’re the one who told her all that nonsense!’

 

‘Ah, that,’ Phillip said, and rolled his eyes.

 

‘Phillip Levin!’

 

‘Why do angry women always call me by my full name like this,’ he wondered. Phillip glared at her, then looked down at Chloe, who was shaking with anger, and smiled lazily.

 

‘When did I ever say that!’

 

Chloe hadn’t actually called Jaina a b**ch; she’d just said she was greedy, selfish, and thought she was the center of the world.

 

Most of her stories started with ‘I know her better than anyone else because I’m close to her,’ and ended with a disparaging remark about her.

 

‘Yeah, I don’t remember much.’

 

‘Why would you say something you can’t be held accountable for with a s**tty memory? Go tell Chloe you were full of s**t! Do you have any idea how ridiculous you made me look?’

 

‘Yeah, I guess my memory’s been a little off lately. I can barely remember people’s faces.’

 

‘What do you mean, suddenly?’

 

‘I found something funny in the dashcam footage. Someone put a nail through my car’s wheel. Haha.’

 

A Ferrari’s dashcam wasn’t an always-on system. Even if it was, he wouldn’t have thought to look at it. But Chloe’s face turned blue when she realized it.

 

‘I can’t seem to remember who it was, so I was thinking of putting it on the school website. What do you think?’

 

Phillip asked, and Chloe bit her lip, unable to say anything. It was obvious what would happen to her reputation if a video of her kneeling on the ground and driving a nail into a car wheel was released.

 

“You’re such a fucking a**hole, Phillip,” Chloe said, and walked away after saying something that was hardly novel.

 

There were already rumors of a rift between Chloe and Jaina, and whether or not it was true, it was none of his fucking business.

 

Suddenly, he remembered what Jaina had said. How they’d been so excited to hear Aaron had a brother, so they went to look for him but ended up laughing when they saw him.

 

…He was sure he had cried then, too.

 

He felt like s**t for some reason, thinking about the boy who must have sobbed like an idiot.

 

Phillip fished his cell phone out of the clothes he’d thrown on. He found the number he’d saved earlier.

 

[Hello?]

 

It wasn’t long before a message came through from the boy.

 

‘[Hello. …who’s this?]

 

A**hole.

 

Phillip smiled and moved his fingers.

 

[Guess who? :)]

 

[Phillip?] The message came back a few moments later.

 

[I guess you were waiting for someone other than me. Judging by the double question marks.]

 

[No, I didn’t expect you to message me out of the blue. …Hello.]

 

Phillip chuckled at the timid greeting that followed.

 

[What were you doing?]

 

[Homework. Grammar assignment.]

 

[Sorry to interrupt your fun.]

 

[No, not at all. …It’s not fun.]

 

He could just picture his innocent face as he responds to a joke that was just thrown at him. Phillip smirked and flopped down on the bed. As he pondered how to bring up the subject, a message arrived from the boy.

 

[I’m sorry about earlier, I know I got you in trouble.]

 

Phillip read the message and checked the sender’s name one more time.

 

He scribbled down [Why] then erased it and moved his finger again.

 

[That’s right. You caused me trouble.]

 

As soon as he heard the message sent, the reply came back.

 

[I’m sorry, I’ll apologize to her directly.]

 

“Ha….”

 

Phillip stifled a laugh.

 

Apologizing to a b**ch like that was annoying, so he wrote it out, then deleted it, not wanting to freak the boy out.

 

[I don’t know what time you’ll be at the party. I have to keep waiting.]

 

He waited for a while, but there was no reply. Phillip flopped back down on the bed and stared at his phone screen. Finally, a message popped up.

 

[…I’ve been thinking about it, and while I really appreciate your invitation, I think it’s best if I don’t go.]

 

“Hahahaha.”

 

As he read the message, he couldn’t help but laugh.

 

Phillip had always been surrounded by people who liked him. And it wasn’t just women who had a crush on the “Prince of Woodson”. It was said in the g** circles that if you could tap Phillip Levin on the shoulder before you died, you would have no wish. A few men actually confessed to him, and each time, with an embarrassed smile, Phillip would say that he appreciated the gesture but was sorry that he hadn’t thought of it. On the inside, of course, he spat out double entendres about some g** a**hole making dirty comments.

 

Phillip’s hand tightened around the phone. He sent a short reply with an expressionless face.

 

[Why?]

 

F**k, why? You like me.

 

Phillip had somehow sensed that the boy harbored special feelings for him. He was better than most at reading people’s reactions to crushes. The lengthening gaze, the flushed smile, the nervous twitching of the fingertips, the fluctuating emotions at the slightest hint of a response, the way his demeanor changed.

 

These were all things that the boy showed him. The lunch for two that he packs every day without fail, the book that he somehow manages to get the copy of at the slightest sign of interest, the nervous eagerness in his big eyes, the endless kindness and gentleness.

 

But the boy knew where to draw the line, so Phillip turned a blind eye to his feelings. It was unthinkable for his usual self. Especially after he’d invited him to a party.

 

The boy treated Phillip like he was Fred in heat, chasing after his a*s.

 

“Haha, the more I think about it, the more it s**ks.”

 

Phillip waited for the boy’s response. He wrote a message and then erased it, seeing an activation mark in the window, several times.

 

After a while, the message window popped up.

 

[I’m scared, I,]

 

The expression on Phillip’s face drained away, as if a mask had been ripped off. He read his message over and over again, his face a strange mask of neither laughter nor anger.

 

I’m scared, I’m scared.

 

I’m scared.

 

I’m scared.

 

“…….”

 

Phillip stood there for a while, then threw the phone to the floor and flopped back onto the bed. He closed his eyes to try to sleep, but a habitual headache pounded at his temples. He grabbed a pill from the medicine cabinet by his bed, swallowed it without water, and lay back down. He suddenly felt like he was covered in filth.

 

***

 

“Hey, Phillip. Is something bothering you?”

 

“No. Why?”

 

“You’ve had a bad look on your face all day.”

 

Phillip arched an eyebrow and turned his attention back to his book, but he hadn’t turned a page since earlier.

 

“I’m scared, I,”

 

The comma (,) left Phillip wondering if there was more to come, but he never heard from the boy again.

 

Phillip never contacted the boy again. He didn’t feel the need. They weren’t even close in the first place.

 

“Hey, Phillip, at the party this weekend….”

 

Phillip closed his book and stood up.

 

“I’ll be leaving first.”

 

“Huh? Oh, okay.”

 

Leaving his trembling opponent behind, Phillip left the classroom. He hadn’t slept well last night, and his headache had been pounding all day.

 

“Phillip!”

 

He heard someone call out from behind him, but he kept walking as if he didn’t hear.

 

“Phillip! Phillip!”

 

A small hand reached out from behind and grabbed his arm. Phillip looked down at the person with a faint hint of irritation in his eyes.

 

“What?”

 

“Is it true that Chloe and Jaina had a big fight over you?”

 

“Really?”

 

‘I don’t give a s**t if they’re fucking hitting each other or twisting each other’s hair,’ he thought.

 

“I knew it, because even when they pretended to be together, they were talking s**t about each other.”

 

The conversation was about as interesting as the hairs on a caterpillar’s back. His head was pounding. It felt like a jet engine was constantly idling in his head.

 

‘You’re scared? Why? I’m the one who saved your a*s when we first met, and you should be thanking me for doing that to an a**hole like you. No, why should I? It’s not like it’s a big deal that an a**hole like you said he was scared.’

 

The more he thought about it, the more he felt like s**t.

 

It was the boy who said he’d care about an a**hole. Even an a**hole would be worried if he said he was sick. He was the one who showed his stupidly soft heart and made him feel like he deserved to be protected.

 

If he was so scared, he shouldn’t have said that in the first place. If he was scared, if he was, why….

 

“Hey, Phillip, are you listening to me?”

 

He couldn’t hear a word he was saying. Phillip continued down the hall and into the parking lot. He started the car and pulled away. The throaty sound of the engine cut through the air. The numbers on the speedometer climbed dangerously high, but he didn’t pay attention and stepped on the gas. He drove along the coastal road for a while before pulling over. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a blue door. It was the front of a boy’s house.

 

“Haha….”

 

Phillip burst out laughing.

 

He tried to think of a plausible reason for why he was here, but it was no use. He tapped his fingers lightly on the steering wheel.

 

He’ll feel a little better if he drives in and smashes that pretty little blue gate like something out of a fairy tale.

 

Phillip smirked and leaned back against the steering wheel. He couldn’t believe he was this angry. He’d never been so fragile as to be hurt by a word. His fingers tapping the steering wheel slowed.

 

Suddenly, he wanted to confront the boy and ask him.

 

What the h**l was he afraid of, that he’d noticed something about him in such a short time that no one else has, and if so, why can’t he just understand, because at least he’s not going to kill him.

 

“Hahaha.”

 

Phillip picked up his cell phone, thinking it better not to add the last word. It was better to send the boy a message than to wait like this.

 

Just then, he saw the boy coming around the corner from the other side of the street. He was running an errand and had a brown envelope in his hand.

 

Phillip thought about making a call, but then put his phone back. He leaned over the wheel and watched the boy.

 

With each step, he puffed out his little cheeks and huffed and puffed. His brow was furrowed in a way that made him want to stretch it with his fingers. The long, submerged lashes fluttered with each exhaled sigh.

 

His eyes were large and deep. Staring into them made him feel like he was drowning, which is why his stomach churned every time he met his eyes.

 

It was like warm water bubbling and stirring inside him, but with an unexplained nervousness, a dry thirst in his mouth, and a feeling that sometimes felt both good and bad at the same time…..

 

It was then.

 

The boy looked up. The boy looked up and smiled.

 

A white, toothless grin spread across his face. Large eyes sparkled with laughter, like light breaking on the ocean surface. Round cheeks flushed red against the evening sun.

 

The boy laughed.

 

The boy….

 

Looking his way, more brightly than ever.

 

The lengthening gaze, the flushed smile, the nervous twitching of the fingertips, the fluctuating emotions at the slightest reaction from the other person, and the untidy demeanor.

 

Phillip realized what he felt now, and his hands broke out in a cold sweat as he gripped the steering wheel.

 

An inexplicable urge surged from his lower stomach to the back of his throat, choking him. He unbuckled his seatbelt, wanting to run to the boy’s side right now. He had just opened the car door when he saw a figure step in front of him.

 

The man, a head taller than the boy, opened his arms wide and hugged him as hard as he could. The boy couldn’t have been happier to be hugged. After a while, the man kissed the boy lightly on the cheek and playfully ruffled his hair, then took the envelope from the boy’s hand.

 

The two began to walk away, chatting animatedly. He couldn’t hear their conversation because he was in the car, but he could tell that they cared about each other.

 

Phillip gripped the steering wheel and stared ahead in silence. He couldn’t move a finger until they disappeared into the house.