SWAP 113

That was no different for Seoul.

Whatever the name, whatever the form, it didn’t matter as long as they could be together.

Among those forms, the role of a friend was the safest and most plausible, just as Saheon had said. He could moderately substitute the affection and interference that manifested subconsciously with the name of friendship, and on some days, that even brought him relief. To be in a relationship where he could stay by the other’s side forever as long as he kept his own heart in check. Sometimes it felt like he was suffocating to death, but he considered even that not so bad.

“But fuck, I can’t do this anymore.”

However, in the end, it was only that much.

Finally putting a period to the relationship that had become a mere shell, Saheon announced it as if spitting the words out.

“I can’t be friends with you anymore.”

“….”

“No, I’m not going to.”

“Heon-ah.”

“So Lee Seoul. Just date me. That thing everyone else does, I have to do it with you. Let’s quit being friends and all that, don’t leave anything out, just with me… we can just do everything together.”

Was it because he was wet?

The end of that voice, which was always bold, trembled slightly.

It was only after quietly looking into those eyes, which were wavering with anxiety, that Seoul finally realized.

He had told himself like a habit that he had given up long ago and that he didn’t harbor such expectations anymore… but in truth, he had been waiting a very long time for those words to flow from Saheon’s mouth. That the imagination he secretly held—that perhaps they were in a relationship closer to romance than friendship and might soon become lovers—was, in fact, his own desire.

The pulse that had been fluttering in his chest was now thumping even in his ears.

He wanted to say something. He had to tell him that he wanted to do that with him too, that it had always been that way… but the moment he opened his mouth, he felt like old, pent-up tears would burst out, so he swallowed hard several times.

Struggling with a heart overflowing to an overwhelming degree, Seoul gripped Saheon’s collar tightly. Even though Saheon wasn’t the type to leave him just because he couldn’t answer immediately, he felt strangely afraid. I like you. I like you, I like you, I like you… as he spoke with his eyes and swallowed his sobs, Saheon exhaled a hot breath and whispered with an expression like a defeated soldier.

“Yeah. Now I know.”

…

“I like you, too.”

After deviating and going astray so many times, they had finally arrived at the final station.

Embracing Seoul, who was only nodding like a fool, Saheon pulled his lips into a soft smile as if he could understand now without being told, and bent his waist. As they touched their foreheads, which had met several times before, their gazes intertwined. With the tips of their noses brushing and drawing close to a distance where their lips would touch at any moment, Saheon firmly drove a stake into their soon-to-be redefined relationship.

“If we kiss here, Seoul-ah.”

With every syllable uttered, their breaths brushed.

“There is no option for breaking up in a relationship between you and me, is that okay?”

The man, his eyes shining narrowly, asked Seoul, who had even forgotten to breathe at the ticklish brush of lips. It was a sweet tone, as if nothing was more harmless than him, while completely hiding his insidious inner thoughts. His attitude—acting as if the choice belonged to the other person while having no intention of letting go—resembled a certain summer day.

We decided we’d rather die together, Seoul-ah.

So, make a promise this time, too.

Without knowing about the inside of that stomach that was crushed black and emitting a stench, Seoul nodded. Dripping tears, he said, yeah, let’s do that. Looking down at the soft face clumsily kissing him with eyes closed, Saheon smiled exactly as he had planned. It was the first kiss he had imagined countless times. The wet lips were infinitely sweet.

It was a peaceful ending cut worthy of decorating the grand finale, like the climax of a movie or the finale of a concerto.

Clutching his trembling heart at the first love finally fulfilled, Seoul gently pulled his lips away from where they had been touching. He was still in a daze, unable to believe what had happened before his eyes. It was a scene he hadn’t even imagined when he had led Saheon out while feeling utterly upset.

“….”

Plop, their gazes met in midair.

Unable to handle the affection bubbling up at that direct, downward gaze, he ended up kissing him several more times. Mwah. Mwah, mwah-mwah-mwah…. Seoul, carefully cupping Saheon’s cheeks with both hands, trembled.

What should I do when I like someone so, so much….

He was aware that he was acting as if he were anxious, but he couldn’t help it. Worrying about whether it would be burdensome, he still wanted to touch more, and a groan escaped him involuntarily. I like it, I like you. I like you so much…. He didn’t even know if he was murmuring it internally or if it leaked out of his mouth; his heart simply overflowed.

It was when he rubbed his lips all over the face that had nothing but pretty parts and gave a small kiss to the bridge of the high nose. Saheon, who had been bending down while quietly entrusting his face to his lover’s hands, looked into every corner of Seoul’s completely melted expression and whispered lowly.

“But Seoul-ah.”

“Yeah, yeah?”

“I said a kiss.”

Huh? When Seoul, who was in such an excited state that he didn’t immediately understand, blankly parted his lips. Saheon’s hand, which had been holding his waist, shot up in an instant, wrapped around the back of Seoul’s neck, and pulled him in just like that. A kiss that was like playing house like a five-year-old local kindergartener was nice, but his patience, which was already at its limit for waiting any longer, scraped the bottom.

His heels lifted slightly, and the moment their lips touched, a hot tongue immediately forced its way in. Only then did Seoul, realizing what he meant, hurriedly sucked in a breath. It was an act close to instinct.

“Eu, ugh…. Ah!”

A thick tongue occupied the narrow mouth in a single stroke. He had intended to suck gently and melt him until he became mushy, but once they actually latched on, there was no room for such composure. It was because sparks flew behind his eyes as the small, soft tongue followed along while being entangled. When he bit down without causing pain, Seoul flinched and opened his small mouth a little wider.

Saheon, letting out a low growl from his throat, bowed his head.

I can’t even chew and eat all of this, fuck….

At the sensation that was boiling over somewhere, he didn’t hold back and pushed his tongue even deeper. It was chilling to realize that his tongue was fully filling the inside of Lee Seoul’s mouth, which until not long ago, he could barely poke with just his fingers. He had wanted to suck him like this back then, too. Saheon smiled wickedly as he recalled the time he had been erect enough to feel a dull ache at the imagination of licking and prodding every corner of the soft, tender mucous membrane to make it a mess.

Ah, I can do all of that now…. I’m going to chew and lick your lower belly and everything. Whether Seoul knew the messy plans being built step-by-step in Saheon’s head or not, he reached out his arms with flushed cheeks and grabbed Saheon’s shoulders. When Saheon felt that grip holding on tight as if it were the only thing he could rely on, a fever seethed within him. Seoul-ah, you’re fucked now. If you knew what I was imagining while I was getting off, you wouldn’t have been able to confess so innocently. It made his teeth grind to see him smacking his lips with that completely melted face, not knowing a thing.

After stealing and swallowing the saliva that had gathered abundantly in the small mouth, he tilted his angle a bit more to fit together without any gaps. When the already insufficient breath was blocked further, the shoulders in his arms shook slightly. Whether the way to breathe through the nose was awkward, Seoul kept moving his Adam’s apple and stood high on his tiptoes. Hng, ugh, mm…. Because the sound of him gulping was cute, Saheon accidentally bit his tongue hard again, causing him to quiver.

“Ah, eu…!”

Between the lips that were being rubbed into a mess, a gap opened at the grip that held the shoulders even tighter. Noticing that, Seoul hurriedly puffed out his chest and desperately inhaled. While firmly supporting the head that was tilting back, Saheon, whose gaze was fixed intently on Seoul’s face, licked and swallowed the saliva flowing down below the lips. When their lips met again, Seoul panted and whispered.

“Heo, ugh, mm, Heon, ah…!”

“Mm-hmm, what is it.”

“Hng, just, a little….”

The rest of the words could not follow.

Whether he was asking to do it a little more gently, or to do it more, was for the listener to judge. As he pulled the back of the neck he was cupping a bit more, their breaths intertwined again. Eventually, before long, Seoul, whose strength had failed, swayed greatly. At the sign of him trying to slump down, Saheon threw the umbrella he was holding to the side and reached out his arm. As he grabbed the thin waist firmly and pulled him upward, rain poured down over their heads.

It was the summer rainy season.

Feeling the clothes that hadn’t even dried yet becoming soaked again, Saheon, who took his lips off the wetly entangled ones, lifted Seoul up in his arms.

Then, in an instant, he opened the back door of the parked vehicle and entered inside with him just like that. In fact, the expression “shoved in” might be more accurate, but it didn’t particularly matter. Climbing over the body laid out beneath him and sucking on the lips for a long while, Saheon soon lifted the limp Seoul up, sat him on his lap, and muttered.

“Lee Seoul, don’t swallow your spit.”

“Heuu, then, it keeps….”

“It’s okay. Open your mouth. Yes, good boy….”