SWAP 104

There was no need to ask who it was. Stepping back from a situation that felt like a replay of a past memory, Seoul clutched his rapidly thumping chest. He had been more off-guard because he had checked Saheon’s soundly sleeping face before coming out. He swallowed hard, wondering exactly how long Saheon had been standing there.

My heart hurts…

At a sight he could never get used to no matter how many times he experienced it, Seoul asked weakly.

“…What are you doing here…”

“…….”

Saheon did not reply.

For someone standing in a pitch-black hallway like a Grim Reaper, his reaction was subdued.

Did he wake up earlier…? Seoul broke into a cold sweat, thinking he had indeed pulled Saheon’s hand away quite forcefully. His eyes darted back and forth. It wasn’t like I slept next to him on purpose… He was afraid Saheon might misunderstand.

“Saheon-ah, it’s only 7 o’clock…”

“Why are you lying.”

“Huh?”

“You said you’d stay by my side.”

…However, the voice that emerged a moment later was complaining about something entirely different. Seoul, needing a moment to translate what that meant, racked his brain desperately. The words “When did I ever” almost jumped out, but he barely managed to stop them as the memory of him saying he would leave after seeing Saheon sleep finally surfaced.

Why on earth did he interpret that as an intention to stay by his side?

It was strange, but Seoul didn’t have the confidence to bicker over the semantics.

“I saw you fall asleep, so I came out.”

“I woke up again.”

“…Go back to sleep, then.”

“You put me to sleep.”

As Saheon slid closer, Seoul reflexively flinched and pulled his arm back. It was a sort of defense mechanism. It was only natural, considering he had witnessed Saheon’s blatant avoidance of him without any filter.

If I don’t touch him first, I won’t have to see him dodging me.

He had been passing it off as if it were nothing due to the specific circumstances of being on a filming set, but Seoul had been inwardly shocked by the other’s unconditional coldness as well. Hesitating as he reminded himself that covering Saheon’s eyes had been the absolute limit of his courage, Saheon’s expression hardened into a stiff mask.

However, Seoul, failing to notice that far, replied in a slightly subdued tone. It was a relief that Saheon didn’t seem to know he had fallen asleep right next to him…

“Put you to sleep, my ass… Go back and sleep quickly. You know you’re being stubborn right now, don’t you? This isn’t even a protest, what is this. You startled me…”

For a moment, his heart sank at the thought that Saheon might be unable to sleep again.

They say a person who’s been burned by a lid will flinch at a pot, and his shoulders slumped because his situation was no different. He had gone as far as putting Saheon to sleep out of anxiety for him, so he found it spiteful that Saheon was using that as an excuse to act this way. I don’t know what to do if there’s even a slight shadow under your eyes, but you…

In the past, he had let it go, thinking Saheon couldn’t help it because he didn’t know. But that wasn’t the case now.

Seeing Saheon maintain his consistent attitude even after finding out that Seoul still liked him, a sense of hurt and a newfound feeling of rebellion poked their heads out simultaneously.

He couldn’t understand Saheon, who acted so coldly to his face but then threw a fit about being apart once it actually happened. It wasn’t like Seoul was moving out of the house; he was just switching to the room next door on the same floor. Hadn’t they used separate rooms before? Even so, Saheon’s irrational behavior left him confused, not knowing which tune he was supposed to dance to.

No, aside from all that… shouldn’t Saheon at least be careful about making statements that could be misunderstood now?

The act of casually spitting out those words when he had no intention of accepting Seoul’s feelings felt cruel from Seoul’s perspective. Who asks a friend to put them to sleep? Especially to the person who has a crush on them, who would…

“…You know very well that I’m sensitive about you not being able to sleep. But do you want to joke around with that?”

There was a limit to being thoughtless.

It was even harder because he had been jerked around by Saheon’s attitude for years. How many times had he clung to meaningless moments of kindness? He was sick and tired of assigning meaning and being disappointed all by himself.

If they just ignored it and passed it off as if nothing happened, it would just be a repeat of everything that had happened so far. Perhaps that was the direction Saheon wanted. But Seoul did not want a repeat any longer. I can’t do this anymore. He lacked the confidence.

“I’m not joking.”

“Then that’s even worse.”

“…….”

“You know it, too. That we have less distance between us than others. Up until now, that was so natural that we just moved past it, but not anymore. Isn’t that why we came on this show? Let’s try to work on it slowly together. But what are you going to do if you throw a fit over just this much?”

It was the truth. After all, it was Saheon who had held onto Seoul when he was ready to find a house and leave, suggesting they appear on the show using the excuse that it was too sudden and hard to accept. Slowly, without being anxious. Let’s learn how to gradually grow apart. As the memory of Seoul’s kind voice saying those things surfaced, Saheon’s brow furrowed in real-time.

“I know. What you’re worried about. That you don’t trust me, and that you’re still anxious about leaving me alone. In your eyes, I still look like a child left by the water. That can’t be helped. Because I’ve shown you nothing but my pathetic sides…”

“…….”

“But Saheon-ah, we aren’t nineteen anymore. I’ve become quite alright now, and you don’t have to worry anymore.”

The words, delivered quietly and with sincerity, contained all the moments that had passed. As if to prove that he was truly okay and that everything had improved, Seoul pulled his lips into a faint smile even in the darkness. Separate from the feelings he held for Saheon, he wanted to relieve the anxiety Saheon suffered from. And his own guilt as well.

“……. How am I supposed to believe that?”

Saheon, who had been silent for a long time, asked quietly.

His face, looking this way with the cameras at his back, was completely shrouded in black.

Since all the lights were off, it was a relief that he was the only one close enough to see Saheon’s expression. Disgustingly enough, he wanted to be the only one to know this boy’s face that looked as if it had been hacked to pieces.

“You don’t have to believe it. Because I’m going to keep proving it. I just… get upset when I see you like this. Because it feels like I ruined you.”

“Who ruined whom? Don’t talk nonsense.”

“Then you just have to trust me a bit so I don’t talk nonsense.”

At those words, Saheon, who had glared chillingly, shut his mouth. When Seoul remained unfazed by his disgruntled gaze, Saheon crumpled his face as if he didn’t like the situation one bit.

However, knowing that the lack of a rebuttal was an answer in itself, Seoul raised his hand and gave a light “tap” on Saheon’s forearm.

“For now, go back and sleep a bit more before coming out.”

This should be enough for him to understand.

Feeling the strength drain out of him from the skirmish that hadn’t even lasted a few minutes, he brushed past Saheon. Even until he safely reached the hallway and stepped onto the stairs leading to the first floor, he felt no sign of presence behind him. Seoul, realizing his own contradiction in feeling relieved yet somehow disappointed, gave a bitter smile.

This is a sickness, too.

Still, he believed that if they made an effort one step at a time, everything would eventually get better.

However, with any treatment, side effects occur from time to time.

All of Saheon’s negative emotions—having stepped back for now due to Seoul’s uncharacteristically firm attitude—bounced toward his roommate, Ye Juyeol, just as expected. Despite having been busy completely ignoring the production crew who had begged him all week to please exchange besties, the moment that bestie became Ye Juyeol, he started clicking the exchange button as if he were trading it for candy.

It didn’t matter what the content was or what he was swapping it for.

Because of Seo Saheon, who clicked “Accept” as soon as the alarm rang like a Pavlovian dog, it was now Ye Juyeol’s turn to be put through the wringer. Ye Juyeol, who had been inwardly relieved by Seo Saheon’s track record of never accepting the Today’s Bestie events, felt like he had been struck by a bolt from the blue.

You didn’t even care about friendship coins, so why are you suddenly doing this…!

He wanted to snap back and ask, but looking at Seo Saheon, who had turned into something even more demonic over the night, he couldn’t voice a single complaint. Feeling as though he would be dragged straight to hell if he uttered one wrong word, he had no choice but to follow along, biting his tongue.

And was his slot-luck any good?

Perhaps because the compatibility with his bestie was the worst, the missions he got were all the worst as well.

Ye Juyeol, who ended up picking every single bad option the production crew had put in, experienced the nightmare of bungee jumping, something he never thought he’d do in his life. Since he had a fear of heights, he wailed for an entire hour in mid-air and returned with a soul-less face.

Why is this trial happening to me…

Ye Juyeol, feeling a threat to his survival beyond mere unfairness, hardened his resolve. Since he couldn’t die like this, he tried to embrace his partner.

But whenever he took even a single step toward Saheon to try and get along…

“He’s seducing me, Lee Seoul. Are you going to let your bestie be stolen like this?”

That kind of ridiculous framing would come back at him.

Seducing? What seducing? I just asked if he wanted some juice…!

However, Seoul, who usually would have mediated first, also turned the conversation away with a strangely chilly attitude.

“Saheon-ah, pass me the butter over there.”

“Is it me, or the butter?”

“Butter.”

At the answer that flowed out without a shred of hesitation, Saheon’s smiling face instantly turned cold. Ye Juyeol, witnessing the sight of a landscape of hell unfolding behind Saheon’s back even while his lips remained curled up, was terrified. In the meantime, Saheon, with a voice tailored to sound sweet, asked again.

“Is it the processed product, or me?”

“…….”

“Is it the 100% milk cream, or me?”

“Yeah, for me, it’s the Seo Saheon who passes the butter.”

“…….”