SWAP 102

Seeing him lying there with his eyes wide open, without even a flicker of movement, made Seoul’s head throb automatically. Seoul, who had been trying his best to pretend not to notice just like Yun Hyeok, with difficulty swallowed a sigh that felt like it was about to spill out. Seriously, when is he going to leave? Since he was more curious about that than anyone else, he slowly turned his head.

The moment their eyes met, a crooked gaze landed on him as if it had been waiting.

Seeing those sharply edged eyes, it didn’t look like he would leave quietly on his own two feet.

At that, Seoul’s chest felt even more stifled, and he bit his lip hard. It was because he felt as though he were bullying an innocent person, even though he hadn’t done a single thing wrong. It was half-unfair, too, since Saheon was the one acting resentful now despite having been the one avoiding him all day.

Instead of glaring like that, shouldn’t he be grateful? He’s the one who would be most troubled if he stayed with me… Ignoring the area near his heart that kept throbbing, Seoul opened his mouth. He didn’t feel like it, but he was the only person here who could kick Saheon out.

“…Seo Saheon, are you going to keep staying there like that? You’ve moved all your luggage now.”

Seoul had packed the bags on behalf of Saheon, who didn’t even look like he intended to gather his things, let alone unzip his suitcase. Regardless of the murderous gaze that felt like it might bore holes into him, Seoul had meticulously packed every single pair of socks and personally moved them to the room that used to belong to Yun Hyeok and Ye Juyeol—no, the room that was now Seo Saheon and Ye Juyeol’s.

Even though that was several hours ago, it was absurd to see him stubbornly stuck in this room. If it were just himself, it might be one thing, but seeing Yun Hyeok, who looked like he was about to die from the pressure, Seoul could no longer overlook it. Standing up, Seoul approached Saheon, who was standing there like a gatekeeper. He chose the route of slowly coaxing him, as Saheon looked ready to stay here all night if left alone.

“You have to go and sleep now, too. Aren’t you sleepy?”

“…….”

“We’re going to sleep now…”

“Since when did it become ‘we’? How close did you two even get?”

“…….”

…He stays tight-lipped until now, only to react like a ghost to the word “we.” It was ridiculous, but Seoul gave a strained nod and corrected himself to “Yun Hyeok and I.”

However, it had no effect. Whether it was the sheer unpleasantness of seeing another name attached to Lee Seoul’s side instead of his own, Saheon’s eyebrows twitched as he began to throw a nonsensical tantrum.

“Go to sleep first then. I’m not sleepy, so don’t mind me and just leave me alone. We’re not besties or anything anymore, so it doesn’t matter. What, did you buy this house? Why do you keep trying to kick me out, Lee Seoul? What are you two going to do once you get me out of here?”

His tone was bristling with thorns. Since it was a rare, sharp reaction, Seoul flinched and looked up at Saheon quietly. Funnily enough, these words couldn’t inflict any damage on Seoul. It was because he knew that, if parsed out, every single one of them was a complaint born of feeling hurt.

Not sleepy, my ass.

With the dark circles under his eyes, anyone could see he was someone who had lost sleep.

Come to think of it, the one who suffered most yesterday at dawn was Saheon, not himself, so he had nothing to say. Since Saheon had taken charge of all the cleanup on top of his own confusion, there was no way he could have slept properly. Thinking that way, a wave of pity slid in, separate from his complicated inner feelings.

“Why does it not matter? You didn’t get much sleep yesterday because of me, either.”

“…….”

“I’m worried…, and I feel bad, that’s why.”

Therefore, instead of sharpening his edges in return, he had no choice but to soften his expression. He couldn’t say it openly because of the cameras, but the desperation of wanting his heart to be conveyed even just a little bit played a part. You were really surprised yesterday, weren’t you? I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I still like you, and that I can’t remain just a friend. I’m sorry for making you upset because of that… I’m sorry for all of it.

The fact that he had to apologize for his feelings was miserable, but it was something he had foreseen long ago anyway. From that day at the dining table, where he constantly questioned himself why he had mistakenly thought they might be in a relationship closer to romance than friendship, Seoul had given up on all possibilities with Saheon.

He had blamed himself, saying it couldn’t be helped since he ruined it with his own hands, and in the end, it was the same this time.

Wondering why humans repeat the same mistakes, Seoul let out a hollow laugh and reached out to grab the hem of Saheon’s T-shirt. Normally, he would have grabbed his hand or wrist to pull him, but he couldn’t do that anymore. Fortunately, Saheon moved his steps even at Seoul’s weak tug. He looked like someone who had noticed the subtly sunken atmosphere.

“I’m sorry for always doing everything my way. Again, I’m the only one deciding everything and notifying you.”

Only once they reached the empty hallway did Seoul add in a low voice.

At the kind voice, the space between Saheon’s brows—which had been full of the intent to hear everything in a twisted way—narrowed sharply. The hem of his shirt, stretched out to the side, kept bothering his nerves. He is clearly by my side, yet it feels like Lee Seoul is far, far away.

“Still, you know now. That if I fight with you, I’m the one who loses out more.”

“Lee Seoul.”

Taking a small breath at the call coming from behind his back, Seoul composed his expression as usual. Worried that he might have sounded pathetic, he put on a deliberately cheerful face and continued the conversation in a quiet, playful tone. They had barely walked a few steps, but they were already in front of Saheon’s room.

“Phew, so stop being so stubborn. You’re the one who kept singing about wanting to do a variety show together, so why do you keep grumbling? Hmm? Whether it’s roommates or besties, it’s only for a week, so what’s the problem? It’s not like we’re actually breaking off our friendship over a single line of text. Now that I think about it, it’s suspicious. Didn’t you actually want this deep down? I did swap you out big time. They say a strong denial is actually a strong affirmation…”

Because he had a guilty conscience, his tongue became unnecessarily long.

Click. It was the moment he opened the closed door instead and was blathering on about whatever. At the same time his eyes met Ye Juyeol—who was shivering under the covers with a deathly pale face—the wrist that was holding Saheon’s collar was suddenly grabbed.

Turning around in surprise, he saw a face full of a deep scowl.

“Lee Seoul, I won’t hate you no matter what you do. That will never happen, ever. So don’t imagine weird things.”

“…….”

“Don’t use your non-existent creativity negatively. I get scared every time you’re like that.”

As if to prove those words, his grip on the wrist tightened until it hurt. I’m scared. At the sentence he rarely expressed, Seoul, who had unintentionally been startled, looked at Saheon. Anxiety spread through the touching palms as if it were contagious. Seoul, unable to bring himself to ask what he was scared of, shut his lips tight. It was because he already knew the answer.

Only then did he realize why Saheon was reacting so hypersensitively to something as simple as changing a room.

It must be because of that episode yesterday.

Seeing him suffering helplessly from nightmares just by fishing up a piece of the past, Saheon had clearly become terrified as well. Because no matter how much he pleaded that it was all in the past now, Saheon didn’t believe him. Recalling the days when he constantly distrusted, doubted, and was anxious, Seoul took a slow, deep breath. Not wanting to show his agitation, he feigned nonchalance as much as possible.

“…Scared? What’s there to be scared of? I told you I’m the most scared of you. I’m going to get angry too if you keep being stubborn, so lie down on the bed quickly. I’ll leave after I see you sleep.”

The treatment had ended successfully, but one never knew.

It was because he remembered Saheon, who couldn’t fall asleep for several days a few months ago after Seoul’s sudden declaration of independence.

Thinking that it probably wouldn’t happen again, yet feeling strangely anxious, Seoul sat at the bedside after forcing Saheon to lie down. A gaze full of dissatisfaction followed him, but he ignored it and covered Saheon’s eyes with his palm. Fortunately, Saheon didn’t dodge this, which was a relief.

“Sleep quickly. If you don’t sleep, I’m not going to sleep either.”

“…Are you threatening me right now?”

“You do it all the time, too.”

“I don’t remember.”

He was shameless, considering he frequently resorted to all sorts of threats. Seoul, who considered giving him a “ttak-kong” flick on the forehead with his other hand but decided against it, stayed quiet. Glancing to the side, Ye Juyeol, still buried under the blankets, was looking over here with a fearful gaze.

You sleep quickly, too.

When he said that with his mouth movements, Ye Juyeol luckily understood and closed his eyes tightly like a good boy. After ten minutes passed, seeing Ye Juyeol having drifted off to dreamland with a purring sound as if he had never been tense, a light laugh escaped. Come to think of it, the light isn’t even off yet. Looking at the light brightly illuminating the room, Seoul stared down at the bed.

Seeing that there was no movement at all, it seemed like Saheon had fallen slightly asleep…

Thinking it would be better to turn it off now rather than waking him up with the light later, it was the moment he quietly raised his hand.

“…Where are you going.”

Saheon, who had noticed the falling fingertips like a ghost, slowly lifted his eyelids and grabbed his wrist. Seoul gave a start, surprised, but as calmly as possible, he coaxed him.

“I’m going to turn off the light.”

“Liar.”

“Why would I lie…”

Ridiculous. Seoul finally gave him a “ttak-kong” flick that didn’t hurt and got up to turn off the light. Then, the glow-in-the-dark cushion Ye Juyeol had mentioned once before began to radiate light in the corner. As per his claim that it looked like it was possessed by an evil spirit, it truly was a terrifying visual, and Seoul, catching his breath, approached Saheon’s bedside again and fumbled to place his hand over Saheon’s eyes.

Like that, ten minutes, twenty minutes…

Every time he tried to quietly pull his hand away, Saheon would get annoyed like he was throwing a sleep-tantrum. Because of that, Seoul, who had been staying by his side unable to do one thing or another, began to nod off unintentionally.

As if it had been waiting for exactly this moment, an arm popped out of the darkness and slowly wrapped around Seoul’s waist.