HL 76 – END.

Xu Nanxiao’s own boxing club was about to open, and with things on his mind, he had been waking up early these past few days.

The sound of him getting up stirred Ying Yusheng awake. He slowly sat up, putting on his glasses as he asked, “Not sleeping any longer?”

“Not sleeping. I want to head over early and take a look. You go back to sleep—don’t you have class in the morning?”

With that, he threw off the covers and was about to leave, but Ying Yusheng caught his wrist.

“You forgot this.” Ying Yusheng said with a soft laugh, then picked up the platinum ring from the nightstand, took Xu Nanxiao’s hand, and slid it back onto his ring finger.

Though they had been together for a long time, Ying Yusheng still solemnly “proposed” like this every day. Xu Nanxiao had complained about it many times, but Ying Yusheng never tired of it.

Gradually, Xu Nanxiao had even grown used to this morning ritual. If Ying Yusheng wasn’t there and he had to put it on himself, it somehow felt like something was missing.

While Xu Nanxiao was lost in thought, Ying Yusheng suddenly kissed him on the lips, then his almond-shaped eyes curved tenderly as he said, “Still like you very much today.”

Xu Nanxiao paused. Though he kept a straight face and had heard it many times, his neck and ears still slowly turned red. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something in return, but in the end, he just pushed Ying Yusheng’s face away. “I haven’t brushed my teeth. Don’t kiss me.”

“I don’t mind.” Ying Yusheng leaned in again.

“I mind.” Xu Nanxiao pushed him away again, muttering curses under his breath as he quickly scrambled out of bed.

Ying Yusheng watched his retreating back, swallowed the words he hadn’t finished saying, lowered his eyes, and tugged the corner of his mouth in a helpless smile.

“Your boyfriend has never once told you he likes you?”

When Mao Ke asked about her professor and the “Missus,” Ying Yusheng had said this as if it were nothing.

“Mm.”

“Does he even need to say it?” Mao Ke rubbed her neck. “You can tell just by looking, can’t you? You taught us that to judge whether someone likes you, you have to look at their non-verbal cues.”

Ying Yusheng leaned back in his chair, gently rubbing the ring on his finger. He looked like he was listening to a student’s report, yet also like he was thinking about something else.

“If someone likes you, they’ll unconsciously shorten the physical distance between you. And they’ll look at you frequently, especially when you’re not paying attention.”

“Mm.”

“Oh right, and mirroring behavior.” Mao Ke grew more confident as she spoke. “People unconsciously mimic the actions of someone they like. And emotional congruence—like smiling when they see you smile.”

“Good,” Ying Yusheng finally spoke. “You’ve remembered the key points from class.”

Mao Ke was puzzled. “Professor, didn’t you teach us this?”

Ying Yusheng sighed with three parts pity and seven parts affection, walked over, gently patted Mao Ke on the shoulder, and said with a smile, “Sorry, I forgot—our Mao Ke has never liked anyone before.”

With that, he strode away on his long legs.

Mao Ke: ??!!

Wait—how was it that her most respected, most admired, most trusted Professor Ying suddenly made her so annoyed?

In truth, Ying Yusheng knew that Xu Nanxiao was someone who did more than he said and was embarrassed to express his feelings. He definitely liked him, and no one knew better than him what Xu Nanxiao looked like when he didn’t like someone.

He just wanted to hear those exact three words.

Ying Yusheng often wondered—had Xu Nanxiao simply grown numb to his pestering, and he happened to be convenient enough? Or had Xu Nanxiao suddenly wanted to settle down because he’d reached a certain age? Was he forcing himself? Was he following his own heart?

Ying Yusheng was best at reading people, but when it came to Xu Nanxiao, he could never be certain. To ease that anxiety, he could only verify and repeat, over and over—through words, through sex.

Ying Yusheng’s favorite position was to pin Xu Nanxiao between himself and the wall, knee wedged between his thighs, arms pressed against the wall. The more he struggled, the deeper he sank, with no way to escape.

“Don’t… pin me down…”

Xu Nanxiao had broad shoulders, a narrow waist, and lean muscle, with lines that tapered sharply at his tailbone. The two dimples above his hips swayed with the rhythm, like perfectly fitted handles, inviting hands to grip them.

Ying Yusheng’s heart itched with desire. His hot tongue bent the soft cartilage of Xu Nanxiao’s ear. As he licked and teased, he murmured softly, “Like you,” “Like you,” “Like you,” sounding almost innocent.

Unlike his mouth, however, below he quickened his pace. Slick and glistening, the rim stretched translucent.

“Stop… ah, no more…”

Xu Nanxiao finally couldn’t take it anymore. Crying and cursing, he shoved hard at Ying Yusheng, but his hand was caught and pressed against Ying Yusheng’s chest.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

Xu Nanxiao suddenly froze. The rise and fall of his breath and the beat of his heart were too vivid, transmitting steadily through his palm.

He looked up and saw Ying Yusheng gazing at him with burning eyes, as if stars were flickering within them.

“I like you.”

Ying Yusheng said it seriously once more, then kissed Xu Nanxiao’s eyelid. Then he stopped moving, looking down at Xu Nanxiao as if waiting for a reply.

Xu Nanxiao choked, his Adam’s apple vibrating in the shadows.

But in the end, he still said nothing. As if scalded, he averted his gaze, grabbed Ying Yusheng’s tie, and kissed him hard.

A few days later, Xu Nanxiao’s boxing club opened. Ying Yusheng came after work, bringing celebratory flowers.

The new colleagues all knew that Xu Nanxiao had a same-sex partner, but this was their first time meeting Ying Yusheng in person. They had already grown close with Xu Nanxiao and couldn’t resist teasing him about it.

Xu Nanxiao’s face grew warm from his colleagues’ ribbing, and he pretended to be angry as he roughhoused with them. They shoved and laughed together in a happy mess.

After who knows how long, Xu Nanxiao suddenly noticed that Ying Yusheng had been quiet for a while.

He turned and saw Ying Yusheng standing a bit farther away, silently watching him from the side. There seemed to be something churning deep in his eyes, as if a river of time flowed between them.

But soon, he smiled, and those hidden things dissipated like smoke. “Ready to go home?”

“…Okay.”

When they said goodbye to everyone and left, the sky had already darkened, with the moon rising above the willows. They walked side by side on the cobblestone path in the neighborhood, the fragrance of freshly cut grass hanging low, dampened by the mist from the fountain.

Usually, Ying Yusheng would chatter away the whole walk, but today he was unusually quiet, head bowed in thought.

Probably plotting something again. Xu Nanxiao sized him up secretly, thinking with exasperation.

As they reached the elevator entrance, they found a familiar figure standing outside. Spotting them, the person immediately ran over and called out happily, “Sheng Ge, Xiao Ge, you’re back!”

It was Zhou Yu.

After exchanging nods, Zhou Yu turned to Ying Yusheng. “Ge, do you have a minute? Could we talk privately?”

“What can’t be said in front of me?” Xu Nanxiao frowned, eyeing Zhou Yu with displeasure. Because of those “little tricks” from before, even though he knew they were just cousins, Xu Nanxiao still didn’t have a great impression of Zhou Yu.

“Well… it’s about Grandpa’s estate. It’s not really appropriate. Xiao Ge, it’ll be quick.”

With that said, Xu Nanxiao waved his hand impatiently. “Go on, I’ll wait here.”

Watching the two disappear at the end of the corridor, Xu Nanxiao looked down and started scrolling through short videos to kill time.

As he scrolled, he suddenly noticed someone standing in front of him, casting a shadow over his phone screen.

“So fast?” He looked up.

But it was Ying Baiying’s pale, tired face.

After making sure Ying Yusheng could no longer see Xu Nanxiao, Zhou Yu let out a breath. He stopped walking and joked to Ying Yusheng, “The wife’s got you on such a short leash? He really does like you.”

Ying Yusheng neither confirmed nor denied, only asked gently, “What did you need to see me about?”

“What about? The family’s going crazy, and here you are all lovey-dovey with a man, acting like nothing’s wrong.”

“Heh, tell them not to worry.”

Zhou Yu laughed in exasperation. “In the new will, you alone take 13% of Grandpa’s estate—of course you’re not worried. Big Cousin only got 0.95%, and he’s been cursing you out to me all day. Come on, tell me—how’d you pull it off? You didn’t hypnotize the old man, did you?”

Ying Yusheng smiled slightly. “If my hypnosis could restore clarity to an Alzheimer’s patient, I’d be winning a Nobel Prize, not standing here.”

“Then what did you do?”

“Maybe at the end of his life, he realized who actually had a human touch.”

“Human touch?” Zhou Yu was amused. “I don’t know who has the most human touch, but I know you definitely have the least.”

“Yes, the one with the least human touch took in his Doberman that no one would care for after he died; properly settled the live-in nanny who had been kicked out; and, per his last wishes, overrode all objections to have his ashes scattered at sea.” Ying Yusheng said slowly. “Of course, if the old man were that easily moved by ‘sincerity,’ he’d have been swindled into bankruptcy long ago. But if I told you what drove him was hatred, would you understand?”

Zhou Yu thought for a moment and quickly caught on. “So leaving you the inheritance was actually… revenge?”

Ying Yusheng explained casually, “What I did was very simple. But because he had dementia, no one else bothered to do something that simple. Who do you think, among the Ying family, would they least want to see get a large inheritance?”

“You.” Zhou Yu didn’t hesitate.

The unacknowledged illegitimate son born to a nobody little boxer.

Ying Yusheng nodded.

Zhou Yu shook his head, both amused and exasperated. “Seriously? The old man’s that old and still so childish.”

“Don’t people say that at the end of life, everyone regresses to childhood?”

“But with the old man doing this, doesn’t that make you a target for everyone? Life’s not going to be easy from now on.”

“Being a target… isn’t that the norm?” Ying Yusheng smiled lightly.

“Yeah, I guess.” Zhou Yu let it go.

Man, look at Sheng Ge—he sits at the edge of every family meeting, smiling as everyone argues. Then behind the scenes, he just nudges a few things, pulls a few strings, and walks away with the biggest share.

After that, they chatted about some trivial matters, and unsurprisingly, the topic eventually turned to Xu Nanxiao.

Zhou Yu: “You’re not serious about him, are you?”

“Of course I am. Why?”

“Nothing, just… I didn’t think you’d go for someone so ordinary.”

Ying Yusheng looked genuinely surprised. “Looking at that face, you can actually say the word ‘ordinary’?”

“You know I’m not talking about his face.” Zhou Yu was speechless. “I figured no one in this world could catch your eye. At the very least, I thought you’d find someone as calculating and twisted as you. But instead, you went for someone shallow, fickle, bad-tempered—and a killer.”

Ying Yusheng paused.

He had said similar things to Xu Nanxiao back when he was holding him captive. In fact, every one of Xu Nanxiao’s ex-girlfriends had described him the same way when they broke up.

But what Ying Yusheng hadn’t been able to say back then was that only he knew—for all of Xu Nanxiao’s shallowness, hot-headedness, selfishness, and promiscuity, he was equally pure, genuine, resilient, and lovable.

Only he knew.

“He’s not what you think.” Ying Yusheng suddenly felt quite pleased. “But I’m not going to correct you.”

Zhou Yu: “?”

Ying Yusheng smiled meaningfully. “It’s enough that only I know how wonderful he is.”

Zhou Yu was baffled. Are you seriously playing the devoted dog for him?!

“Anything else? I’m heading back.”

Seeing Ying Yusheng about to leave, Zhou Yu stiffened and hurriedly called out, “Wait!” His face showed nothing, but inside he was scrambling for an excuse. “Don’t you want to know what Big Cousin said about you?”

Ying Yusheng turned around, his eyes holding a trace of amusement, though on closer look, there was a hint of coldness.

“If you’re trying to stall for time, you’d better come up with a good reason.”

Damn. Zhou Yu sheepishly withdrew his hand.

Watching Ying Yusheng walk away, Zhou Yu pinched the bridge of his nose. Don’t blame me—asking me to keep Sheng Ge busy, my aunt really knows how to put someone on the spot.

Xu Nanxiao watched Ying Baiying warily. The two of them locked eyes, neither speaking.

“Long time no see.” Ying Baiying finally broke the silence.

Xu Nanxiao raised a brow. “Heh, long time no see.”

“I never thought that even after knowing what Ying Yusheng did, you two would still end up together.”

Xu Nanxiao could tell—Ying Baiying still hadn’t given up, still here to drive a wedge between them.

“Neither did I.” Xu Nanxiao grinned self-deprecatingly. “I guess I caught the crazy from your son.”

“So? How did he talk his way back into your trust this time?”

Xu Nanxiao caught the insinuation in Ying Baiying’s words. “What are you getting at?”

“Although you’re the one who killed his brother, he gradually fell in love with you while spending time with you, and so he let go of his revenge.” Ying Baiying stated calmly. “I’m guessing that’s the version in your head, right? Sure, there was deception along the way, but at least the ending is decent… But is that really how it happened?”

“Say what you mean.” Xu Nanxiao’s smile faded, and he frowned in irritation. “Stop talking in riddles.”

“Have you ever considered that he wasn’t with you for revenge at all in the beginning? It was simply that the sight of you sobbing helplessly aroused his sadistic desires.”

Seeing Xu Nanxiao’s confused look, Ying Baiying continued flatly, “You can’t understand, can you? How could anyone get excited by another’s suffering? The more you suffered, the more excited he got. And to prolong that excitement, he would even actively create your suffering.”

Then Ying Baiying began to recount, from the awkward first meeting between Ying Yusheng and Xu Nanxiao, to the grotesque desires in the courtroom, from Ying Yusheng’s deranged acts as a child, to the reasons behind his pathological obsession with Xu Nanxiao.

One by one, piece by piece, she laid it all out before him.

“Now you understand, don’t you?” Ying Baiying sighed softly. “If he had approached you for revenge, that would at least have an understandable emotional logic. But Ying Yusheng—no one can figure him out.”

“He has no capacity for empathy. Your very personhood has been objectified into nourishment for him. That’s why he could hypnotize you for fun, isolate you from your social circles, and deceive you without a shred of guilt. Take my advice—you two are not on the same path.”

After Ying Baiying finished, there was nothing but dead silence in the air.

But the next second, Xu Nanxiao laughed. He said:

“I knew that already.”

Ying Baiying froze, almost thinking she’d misheard. Her eyes went wide, unblinking.

When she snapped out of it, a tidal wave of shock surged within her, and a creeping dread wrapped around her whole body. The feeling was familiar, like when she’d first heard about Ying Yusheng’s “sweet” past.

“You knew? You…”

“Of course he couldn’t have come near me for revenge. Ying Yusheng would never sacrifice himself for someone other than me.” Xu Nanxiao scoffed. “I know better than you what kind of person he is.”

“You’re insane?!” Ying Baiying swayed, steadying herself against a lamppost. “You know and you still stay with him? Your mind is…”

“Didn’t I just say? I caught the crazy from your son too.” Xu Nanxiao didn’t seem bothered. “But there’s one thing you said that I find strange. Is Ying Yusheng really that hard to understand?”

Under Ying Baiying’s blank stare, Xu Nanxiao said:

“Haven’t you noticed? He has this habit…”

[“You suddenly passed out after eating—you scared me.” Ying Yusheng blinked, tucking the covers around him with concern. “How do you feel now?”]

[Ying Yusheng blinked slowly. “Besides me, who else would care about a shallow, hot-headed, selfish, promiscuous killer? Right?”]

[“No, you’ve misunderstood.” Ying Yusheng looked up, blinking gently. “I wouldn’t get upset over ‘impossible things.'”]

[“Why aren’t they holding you accountable? Why are they making a scene at the police station? Are they crazy!”
Ying Yusheng blinked. “Heh, I don’t know.”]

[He blinked, and answered tentatively, “Maybe I’m used to it. I feel much better now, just a little tickle in my nose.”]

[He took off his coat, blinked, and said with a smile, “Came here for some tea and to get out of the rain.”]

When Ying Yusheng lied, he blinked twice.

Ying Baiying didn’t understand and asked quickly, “A habit? What habit?”

“You haven’t noticed? Never mind then.”

Ying Baiying’s temper flared. “I haven’t studied psychology—I don’t understand your jargon! What habit?!”

“I haven’t studied psychology either. I’m just a high school dropout and a poor illiterate.” Xu Nanxiao couldn’t help but laugh.

“Then how did you figure it out?!”

Xu Nanxiao sometimes found it amazing. Ying Yusheng’s students thought he was inscrutable, Meng Zhao thought he was deeply calculating, even his own mother found him incomprehensible. Yet he was so easy to read—why had no one else ever noticed?

“Simple.” Xu Nanxiao answered calmly. “You just have to look at him carefully. Just look at him.”

Ying Baiying was stunned speechless.

“Nanxiao.” By the time Ying Yusheng rushed back, the only person by the bench was Xu Nanxiao.

He looked around and asked softly, “Did anyone come by just now?”

“No. Who would come?”

Strange. Zhou Yu had gone to such lengths to keep him there, he assumed there was some hidden agenda. Had he overthought it?

“Let’s go.” Xu Nanxiao cut off Ying Yusheng’s thoughts, standing up. “It’s cold out here.”

“…Okay.”

On the way home, Ying Yusheng still felt uneasy. His mind restless, he asked again, “Are you sure nothing happened just now?”

Xu Nanxiao teased, “What are you afraid of? Did you do something to betray me?”

Ying Yusheng blinked, then said with a gentle smile, “I’m not afraid.”

But after a long pause, he suddenly changed his mind. “Alright, Nanxiao, maybe I am a little afraid.”

He stopped and looked at Xu Nanxiao quietly. “But not because I’ve done something to betray you. It’s just because…”

He wanted to say, “Because I’m afraid of losing you.” He wanted to say, “Because I’m afraid you’re forcing yourself.” He wanted to say, “Because I’m afraid you’ll never love the real me.”

But in the end, he only said, “Because I like you very, very much.”

Xu Nanxiao glanced at him but didn’t respond directly. He simply reached out, took Ying Yusheng’s hand, and pulled him forward, grumbling, “Stop rambling. Say it at home—I’m freezing to death.”

Ying Yusheng looked at their intertwined hands, and a trace of disappointment welled up in his heart.

Xu Nanxiao had once said that his body temperature was low, his hands cold. Because his hands were cold, he could never warm Xu Nanxiao’s.

Just then, Xu Nanxiao suddenly stopped.

“…Ying Yusheng, look up,” he said.

Ying Yusheng stayed still, not moving.

“The moon is beautiful tonight.”

Ying Yusheng froze, eyes widening slightly, and then immediately looked up.

Behind Xu Nanxiao, a bright full moon hung in the sky, like frost and snow, radiant and magnificent.

But Ying Yusheng wasn’t looking at the moon.