HL 46

For a long while after that, Ying Yusheng’s brain felt as if it had been submerged in seawater.

This allergic reaction was perhaps truly perilous; his past experiences flashed before his eyes like scenes from a movie.

[Yusheng, did no one from your family come again?]

[I’m tired. Let’s talk about it tomorrow.]

[The nanny can’t sign the surgery consent form for you. Have your family come.]

[For your grandfather’s birthday banquet, you’ll sit at the third table. The head table is reserved for your younger brother and your uncles and aunts.]

…

Ying Yusheng sat in an empty movie theater, holding a bucket of popcorn.

As he watched, he thought to himself—if a person’s life flashes before their eyes and it’s all just this, isn’t that a bit pathetic? Wasn’t there anything happy?

Just then, a clear voice pierced through the layers of fog: “He’s allergic to chocolate!!! How could you give him chocolate cookies?!”

“We didn’t know! Before we noticed, Professor Ying had already eaten them all!”

Ying Yusheng struggled to open his eyes a crack and saw Xu Nanxiao, face full of panic, following his colleagues and the doctors as they rushed him toward the emergency room.

Xu Nanxiao’s forehead hair was soaked with sweat, plastered to his tense temples. His eyes were fixed on Ying Yusheng’s face with a fierce intensity, as if trying to etch every frame into his brain, yet deep in his pupils there was a dazed emptiness.

If not for the boneless weakness draining his entire body, Ying Yusheng might have smiled—

See, I won the bet again.

The doctors worked on him for over half an hour before Ying Yusheng’s blood pressure rose to 108/80. Another half hour later, Ying Yusheng finally regained consciousness and was moved to a regular ward.

The treatment dragged on until three in the morning, and Xu Nanxiao stayed with him until three, without a single complaint.

But fortunately, anaphylactic shock often comes on fast and fades fast too. By the very next day, they were able to go home for recuperation.

Ying Yusheng leaned against the headboard and gave Xu Nanxiao, who had come to bring him food, a weak smile. “You’ve worked hard.”

“Look at you, half-dead like that. Save your breath.” Xu Nanxiao set the tray on the bedside table, then sat on the edge of the bed, crossed his legs, rested his chin on his hand, and said, “I still don’t get it—how did you end up eating chocolate cookies?”

“Because the chocolate was in the filling—I didn’t see it. And I was really hungry at the time; I couldn’t help eating too many.” Ying Yusheng blinked. Mid-sentence, he suddenly broke into a violent coughing fit. Then he clutched his chest lightly and let out hoarse, ragged breaths.

“Stop, stop—forget I asked.” Xu Nanxiao quickly moved closer, afraid to touch him too roughly in his weakened state. “Lie down. Cover yourself with the blanket.”

“Sorry.”

“Sorry for what? I was in that car crash before, and you took care of me then. Just consider this me repaying the favor.”

With that, Xu Nanxiao pulled out his phone and started scrolling through short videos.

Thinking about it, within just a few months, the two of them had nearly lost their lives one after another—no one else could top that.

Ying Yusheng shook his head. “No, I’m sorry for making you worry.”

Xu Nanxiao froze, and suddenly felt a sting in his nose.

“Worry my ass.” He buried his face deeper into his phone screen.

After Ying Yusheng went into shock, Xu Nanxiao had knelt on the floor facing the wall and prayed to every god he could think of. Even Ying Yusheng’s colleagues couldn’t bear to watch and told him not to worry, that Professor Ying would be fine.

Xu Nanxiao couldn’t hear them. He only felt cold, yet his palms were covered in a layer of clammy sweat. His heart felt as if it had been split in two—one half clenched motionless, the other leaping wildly out of control.

Only when Ying Yusheng opened his eyes did the two halves finally reunite.

These past few days, Ying Yusheng hadn’t gone to work, so Xu Nanxiao stayed home to keep an eye on him. Only when Ying Yusheng’s condition gradually stabilized did Xu Nanxiao begin to spare some attention for Lu Yingjie.

At the time, he had called Lu Yingjie’s roommate and told him to go talk some sense into him. Later, the roommate reported back that Lu Yingjie was fine. But that very night, Lu Yingjie had boarded a plane and left China.

The two never saw each other one last time.

Even when Xu Nanxiao called, no one answered—it seemed Lu Yingjie truly resented him now, and had even changed his phone number.

Thinking of this, Xu Nanxiao felt a tightness in his chest. He pushed himself up from his knees and said to Ying Yusheng, “You stay put and rest. I’m going out to buy some ice cream.”

“I can’t eat any right now—you’re just trying to tease me on purpose, aren’t you?” Ying Yusheng said in a soft, pleading tone.

In response, Xu Nanxiao only bared his teeth like a big cat and shot back: “Serves you right!”

After buying the ice cream, Xu Nanxiao walked home with a cigarette in his mouth, weighed down by troubled thoughts.

The asphalt road gleamed under the midday sun, shimmering waves of heat rising from it in translucent ripples.

Sixteen years—5,844 days—yet it had passed in the snap of a finger.

Xu Nanxiao felt a sudden daze.

He was now certain that he loved Lu Yingjie—just not in the way Lu Yingjie wanted.

He wanted to take care of the other for life; to protect him from everything filthy, so he could forever remain that innocent little fawn; to have them both grow old together, sitting side by side fishing, with Lu Yingjie calling him “Ge.”

Wasn’t that love too? Did it count for less? Why should his love be hurt like this?

Xu Nanxiao didn’t understand.

Dragging his feet like this, he reached the entrance of his neighborhood and noticed a familiar figure standing outside the gate. Xu Nanxiao’s eyes widened, his mouth falling half-open. The cigarette dropped from his lips and rolled to his feet.

Lu Yingjie wore an open olive-green utility jacket, revealing a crumpled plain white cotton T-shirt underneath. His hand was still tightly gripping the strap of his backpack.

“Sorry, Ge,” Lu Yingjie said, smiling at him, though his brows were furrowed, his face full of helplessness and emotion. “In the end, I still had to lie to you one last time.”

Xu Nanxiao followed Lu Yingjie to a somewhat secluded café nearby. He pretended to be looking at the menu, but his peripheral vision kept studying Lu Yingjie.

“You didn’t leave? Your roommate said he watched you board the plane with his own eyes—he even took a photo.”

“It was just someone who looks like me. Ying Yusheng isn’t the only one who can hire a double. If I hadn’t fooled him successfully, I wouldn’t have been able to see you.”

Xu Nanxiao didn’t want to argue with him about whether Ying Yusheng was good or bad, so he changed the subject: “You said you wanted to take me to meet someone—where are they?”

“Mm, just a moment.” Lu Yingjie pulled a tablet out of his backpack, set it up, and faced it toward Xu Nanxiao.

The tablet’s screen showed a remote conference interface. Soon the call connected, and the person on the other end appeared on screen.

It was a woman he didn’t recognize, with short hair and a crisp, capable bearing. But between her brows was a weariness that couldn’t be hidden, as if life had hollowed her out. The background seemed to be an office—quite luxurious and spacious, clearly belonging to someone of substantial wealth.

“Who’s this?”

“Xu Nanxiao, hello. I am Liu Qingyang’s mother.”

A thunderbolt struck Xu Nanxiao’s heart, rendering him frozen. Even though he knew they were connected through the internet, he instinctively assumed an aggressive posture. “What do you want with me?”

“There are Ying Yusheng’s eyes and ears all around me, so I had no choice but to meet you this way. Too many people are involved; I have to protect their safety. Please understand.”

Hearing that familiar name, Xu Nanxiao was stunned again.

“As Liu Qingyang’s mother, we’ve clashed behind the scenes many times. But as Ying Yusheng’s mother, this is the first time we’ve met, isn’t it?”

What was she… saying?

Whose mother?

Whose?

Xu Nanxiao understood every single word she said, but put together, they formed sentences he couldn’t comprehend. His mind went blank, as if scorched; his heart became a lump of dead flesh, no longer beating, frozen still.

Ying Yusheng gazed out the window. The sky was growing dark.

Xu Nanxiao had gone out to buy ice cream—why was he taking so long?

Worried, Ying Yusheng threw on a greyish-white cashmere cardigan and, covering his mouth to cough, slowly made his way to the door, pausing every few steps to catch his breath.

But just as he opened the front door, Xu Nanxiao happened to step out of the elevator.

“Nan Xiao, you’re finally back. What took you so long?” Ying Yusheng relaxed.

Xu Nanxiao had been in a daze ever since he stepped out of the elevator. At the sound of Ying Yusheng’s voice, his body gave a slight jolt. He looked up as if waking from a deep dream.

“Oh, I ran into an old drinking buddy on the way and chatted a bit longer.” With that, Xu Nanxiao brushed past Ying Yusheng and walked straight inside. “Come on, don’t just stand out here.”

Ying Yusheng lowered his gaze and noticed that the ice cream in the plastic bag no longer had any condensation beads on it. The box showed signs of grease seepage and was even slightly collapsed.

This meant the ice cream had been sitting at room temperature for a long time.

He was holding ice cream, yet insisted on chatting with an “old acquaintance” for that long? What kind of “old acquaintance” was it?

But in the end, Ying Yusheng only said, without changing his expression: “Mm…”

Thanks to the auntie’s cooking, dinner was quite lavish. There was Xu Nanxiao’s favorite candied sweet potato and Ying Yusheng’s favorite stir-fried shrimp with ginkgo nuts.

Xu Nanxiao ate his fill, and afterward, Ying Yusheng invited him to watch a movie together, but was turned down.

“With you in this condition—you couldn’t even finish your rice at dinner—just go lie down and rest.” Xu Nanxiao waved his hand. “I’ll play some games by myself.”

Ying Yusheng smiled, his eyes curving. “Alright.”

Before entering his room, Xu Nanxiao also grabbed a bag of chips from the snack cabinet. Ying Yusheng was about to remind him not to snack after a meal, but the door closed, leaving all the nagging behind.

But the moment the door shut, the chips fell to the floor.

Xu Nanxiao dropped to his knees with a thud, pressing his hand firmly over his mouth. At dinner, he had been eating mechanically; now that he’d calmed down, he realized the food had long since risen to his throat, nearly making him vomit.

If, when he learned Lu Yingjie was the hooded figure, what Xu Nanxiao felt was immense anger and grief.

Then, toward Ying Yusheng, all of that was certainly there too—but ultimately, it was overshadowed by another emotion, one that grew wildly out of control in his heart: fear.

It was like someone had slipped a cold metal spoon inside his skull and stirred his brain tissue. Everything he had taken for granted had become thin, elusive fluid that he couldn’t grasp.

Ying Yusheng was a complete madman.

Xu Nanxiao couldn’t fathom his thinking at all.

All those gentle words, all that care and affection, all that selfless companionship—it had all been using any means to achieve an end. Over a year, he had inserted himself into the game, deceived everyone above and below, all for an elaborately orchestrated revenge drama.

Fine, fine, Ying Yusheng!

What the hell are you trying to do?!

What the hell do you want from me?!

Xu Nanxiao suddenly felt that this room was unfamiliar, this home was unfamiliar, and even the person in this home was unfamiliar.

He looked at his own hands, which wouldn’t stop trembling—the same hands that not long ago had been clasped together, praying for Ying Yusheng’s safety. He really wanted to ask, was all of that fake too? Then what was real?

Xu Nanxiao suddenly felt himself being pulled downward by some force. The solid ground beneath his feet had turned to quicksand, and beneath that quicksand were… countless pairs of Ying Yusheng’s malicious eyes, all staring at him without blinking.

Xu Nanxiao finally collapsed to the floor and dry-heaved.

His face was streaked with drool and tears, yet even as he retched, he struggled to his feet and began packing his things. He only took a few pieces of clothing, his charger, bank cards, and other essentials, planning to slip away quickly after Ying Yusheng had gone to sleep.

As he stood at the bedroom door with his suitcase in hand, he suddenly stopped.

But where could he go?

His club had been given to him by Ying Yusheng. His friends were mutual. His home was provided by Ying Yusheng. Even his car had been destroyed saving Ying Yusheng…

He had curled up in a cage built by Ying Yusheng, stupidly believing he had finally found a safe harbor.

Was he supposed to abandon his career, his friends, his life, his home and run away? What would he have left that was truly his?

But Xu Nanxiao hesitated only for a moment.

No—he had to leave!

Even if he had to abandon everything, he had to go!

He couldn’t stay entangled with Ying Yusheng for one more second!

Xu Nanxiao pushed open the bedroom door. Just as he expected, the living room lights were off, and Ying Yusheng was fast asleep in his room. The only sounds in the house were faint light and water noise from the kitchen—the auntie doing the dishes.

A rare opportunity.

He carried his suitcase quickly toward the front door, but suddenly his pupils contracted sharply, adrenaline exploding through him.

It seemed someone was standing in the dark at the entrance—

Ying Yusheng was leaning against the wall, waiting for him.

“Where are you going?” he said, as warm and gentle as a spring breeze, as if nothing had happened.

Xu Nanxiao found that he couldn’t make a sound.

“Don’t lie to me, Nan Xiao. Your acting is too poor.”