HL 29

Lu Yingjie stood against the light, his pupils dark and heavy, fixed and unmoving, holding back a churning rage that sent an inexplicable chill through the air.

“I heard your voice and came out,” Lu Yingjie said to Xu Nanxiao, his expression blank.

Xu Nanxiao instinctively stepped toward him, but Ying Yusheng grabbed his arm firmly and pulled him back. He held on tightly, with an unyielding grip that anchored Xu Nanxiao in place.

“Good afternoon, Yingjie.” Ying Yusheng smiled calmly. “No classes this afternoon?”

“Not as free as you, Professor,” Lu Yingjie met his gaze. “But I always have time to spend with my gege.”

The atmosphere grew tense and awkward.

“Ge.” Finally, Lu Yingjie turned back to Xu Nanxiao. “Let’s go home.”

Lu Yingjie was telling him to come home, but Ying Yusheng wouldn’t let go. Xu Nanxiao was caught in between—he couldn’t leave, but he couldn’t stay either.

Just then, Lu Yingjie said, “Once you move in with Professor Ying, you’ll have plenty of time to chat. Ge, I want to talk with you right now.”

Hearing that, Xu Nanxiao finally twisted free from Ying Yusheng’s grip and said in a low voice, “Go back.”

Ying Yusheng, abandoned by Xu Nanxiao once again, stared at his own empty hand for a long moment, but ultimately said nothing.

He looked at Lu Yingjie and reminded him with a smile, “Don’t fight with your brother.”

After Ying Yusheng left, Xu Nanxiao followed Lu Yingjie back home.

“Whatever you want to say, say it now.” Xu Nanxiao closed the front door.

Lu Yingjie stood still in the middle of the living room, his back to him, motionless, his trapezius muscles taut.

“What? We have to stand and talk?” Xu Nanxiao sat down heavily on the sofa, sprawling his legs wide apart.

“Ge.” Lu Yingjie finally walked over slowly, kneeling on one knee between Xu Nanxiao’s spread legs, staring at him silently. His eyes held things Xu Nanxiao couldn’t understand—and didn’t want to understand.

“Why have you been ignoring me? Did Professor Ying tell you to?”

Xu Nanxiao looked up at Lu Yingjie.

This boy had really grown up a lot. Xu Nanxiao studied that familiar yet unfamiliar face carefully and noticed many discrepancies from the memory he held, though he’d never paid them any attention before.

“Before you ask me anything, let me ask you one more time.” Xu Nanxiao didn’t react to his oppressive posture; his voice was unusually calm. “Lu Yingjie, have you ever done anything to betray me?”

Lu Yingjie shouted without hesitation: “I would never do anything to hurt you! Why won’t you believe me?!”

“Then let me put it another way—how do you see me? What are your feelings toward me?”

At that, Lu Yingjie’s eyes flew wide open.

He opened his mouth in shock, then pressed his lips together and lowered his head. Something wavered in his gaze, uncertain.

Had his ge found out?

This clearly meant he knew something—why else would he ask such a question?

Could he say it?

Could he confess the feelings he’d buried deep in his heart to this homophobic straight man? What would become of their relationship if he did?

After what felt like an eternity, Lu Yingjie finally raised his head and forced out the words, one by one: “I have always loved and respected you… as your younger brother.”

Xu Nanxiao was stunned. When he came back to himself, he couldn’t help letting out a bitter laugh.

Of course. Just as Ying Yusheng had said—without concrete evidence, Lu Yingjie would never admit a thing. He’d been stupid to give Lu Yingjie a chance.

“Get off me!!!” Xu Nanxiao suddenly exploded, shoving Lu Yingjie hard. While the other was off-balance, he stood up and walked toward his room without looking back.

“Ge?”

Lu Yingjie called out in bewilderment. A strong premonition hit him—this fight was different from any before.

Something had fundamentally changed. Xu Nanxiao was breaking free from his thin, tender vine, and he would never come back.

Lu Yingjie rushed after him in panic, but the door slammed shut in his face, nearly hitting his nose.

“Ge!!” He pounded on the door.

What do I do? What do I do? What do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?!

Lu Yingjie was at a total loss, until a female voice echoed in his mind—

[Don’t waste your talent.]

Don’t waste his talent? Should he really do it?

If he hypnotized Xu Nanxiao, at least he could figure out what had been going on these past weeks.

But if he got caught…

No. Lu Yingjie clenched his jaw.

At this point, he couldn’t afford to hesitate anymore.

Xu Nanxiao had spent the whole day busy with site selection for the club. When he got home that evening, he was planning to just throw some noodles in a pot for a quick meal, but found that Lu Yingjie had already made four dishes and a soup.

“Ge, you’ve worked hard. Come eat.”

Without looking at him, Lu Yingjie served two bowls of rice and started eating with his head down.

Since their argument, the brothers hadn’t spoken for days. Xu Nanxiao hesitated for a moment, but pulled out a chair and sat down. He slowly picked up his rice bowl and began eating.

The silence stretched on between them; the only sounds in the living room were the clinking of chopsticks and bowls and the soft sounds of chewing.

“Want some beer?” Lu Yingjie suddenly asked.

Xu Nanxiao looked him up and down, then finally said, “…Sure.”

So Lu Yingjie grabbed a beer from the fridge, opened it in the kitchen, and brought it over.

Xu Nanxiao took a couple of gulps without thinking and let out a long sigh. The cold, bubbly liquid slid down his throat, washing away the day’s exhaustion.

He ate with unusual enjoyment, and his attitude toward Lu Yingjie warmed a little. So after the meal, instead of retreating to his room immediately, he sat on the sofa and watched TV.

But halfway through, something felt off.

His head was heavy and foggy, his mind grinding like a rusty bearing. The movie plot was simple enough, but he had to rewind and watch the same scene several times without it sinking in.

Had he drunk too much? Xu Nanxiao pressed his temples.

But one beer shouldn’t have been enough.

Just then, Lu Yingjie sat down beside him and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong, Ge? Not feeling well?”

Xu Nanxiao watched his lips moving; his voice sounded like distant tides, rhythmically lapping at the shores of his reason. But that reason was growing lighter and lighter, like a wisp of smoke, about to slip through his fingers.

“A little dizzy…” Xu Nanxiao heard himself say, his voice sounding distant and unlike his own.

“That’s a normal reaction—you’re too exhausted.” Lu Yingjie’s tone was gentle and steady. “Now, try raising your right hand. Doesn’t it feel lighter than your left?”

Xu Nanxiao silently struggled, trying to keep it heavy and resting on the armrest. But then a faint tingle spread through his fingertips, and his ring finger twitched on its own—not from muscle contraction, but as if tugged by an invisible thread.

The thought of resistance was still there, but his body had already betrayed him. That hand no longer felt like his own—it had been taken over by something grander, more gentle, more rhythmic.

“Yes, that’s it. Let that feeling of relaxation spread from your arm through your whole body… your eyelids are growing heavy too.”

Xu Nanxiao felt his eyelids flutter involuntarily, his vision blurring. The TV grew more and more distant; only Lu Yingjie’s voice lingered in his ears.

“Now you feel safe, comfortable… all the stress is drifting away. Take a deep breath; with each exhale, you grow more relaxed…”

“Now I’m going to count to three… One… all your muscles completely relax… Two… your mind clears, and you can only hear my voice… Three… you’ve entered a state of complete calm…”

Damn it. He’d been had. The thought flashed through Xu Nanxiao’s mind for an instant, and then his consciousness snapped off with a click.

“Good boy. Now slowly open your eyes.”

After saying that, Lu Yingjie’s heart pounded wildly, almost leaping out of his throat.

The air was silent for a few seconds. Then Xu Nanxiao slowly opened his eyes. He leaned forward and buried his whole face against Lu Yingjie’s shoulder, even rubbing against it gently.

Had it worked?

With Xu Nanxiao leaning on him, Lu Yingjie’s body went rigid, not daring to move. When he finally snapped out of it, his palms were slick with cold sweat. He let out a long breath, feeling as weak and boneless as if he were dehydrated.

He had not only used hypnosis outside of experimental settings, but the subject was his brother, whom he’d pined after for years—and he’d even stolen experimental drugs from the project. Any one of these was a serious violation.

But no matter what, there was no turning back now.

Lu Yingjie gently propped Xu Nanxiao up, steadied himself, and asked, “Ge, answer me—why did you suddenly start hating me? Why won’t you tell me the reason?”

Xu Nanxiao was silent for a moment, then answered slowly, word by word: “Because I don’t have the evidence yet.”

“Evidence?” Lu Yingjie was confused.

“Evidence of you stalking and harassing me.”

“I have never stalked or harassed you!” Lu Yingjie immediately argued loudly, but quickly realized that shouting at Xu Nanxiao in this state was pointless. So he forced himself to calm down and continued questioning: “Why would you think that? What happened?”

Xu Nanxiao shuddered violently, his eyes twitching rapidly beneath his lids. Lu Yingjie almost thought he was about to wake up.

But in the end, Xu Nanxiao calmed down. He moved his lips and told Lu Yingjie everything the hooded man had done to him—down to every last detail.

He told him about the kissing photos, the embarrassing videos, the defiled underwear, the unfamiliar hotel rooms he woke up in… and the matching shoes, Lu Yingjie’s feelings for him—he left nothing out.

After hearing it all, Lu Yingjie’s eyes were wide, unblinking. A storm raged inside him, and he couldn’t calm down for a long time.

While he was completely unaware, so many terrible things had happened to Xu Nanxiao. He’d wanted to be someone Xu Nanxiao could rely on, but he hadn’t been able to help at all—leaving his ge to face all of this alone. What kind of man was he?

Rage surged through his veins like lava, pounding against his eardrums, making them ring.

The man he cherished above all else had been treated like this! And he himself had become the scapegoat for that bastard!

He looked at Xu Nanxiao, docile and resting on his shoulder, those eyes that were always distant and scrutinizing now downcast, long lashes casting soft shadows beneath them—completely defenseless.

Lu Yingjie’s heart clenched painfully, a wave of belated grievance washing over him. He felt wronged on Xu Nanxiao’s behalf, and also for himself—for not being trusted.

“Ge…” Lu Yingjie roughly wiped his face, nearly in tears. “It wasn’t me. It really wasn’t me… Why did you suspect me? After all these years, you’d rather believe someone else than trust me?! What do I even mean to you?!”

He didn’t know why he was shouting at a hypnotized Xu Nanxiao—perhaps just to uselessly clear his name, or maybe just to vent his disappointment.

As Lu Yingjie grew more emotional, he lost control and bit down hard on Xu Nanxiao’s shoulder in frustration. But the moment his canine teeth were about to pierce the skin, he stopped.

He stayed there, teeth still pressed against flesh.

Beneath his lips and teeth was Xu Nanxiao’s burning warmth, the faint pulse of his heartbeat just barely perceptible. The uniquely clean scent of his ge enveloped Lu Yingjie, as if laced with some spell, searing his chaotic nerves.

He wanted… more possession.

He wanted to carve his own mark onto this body that had no defenses against him—to fight back against the panic of being disbelieved, against the grief and anger that had nowhere to go.

At that thought, Lu Yingjie suddenly snapped out of it, recoiling as if burned. He frantically wiped his lips, like a child caught doing something wrong.

How could he do this to his ge while he was hypnotized? How could he pour out his desires on someone unconscious? If he went through with it, what difference would there be between him and the hooded man?

He couldn’t. He couldn’t…

Lu Yingjie struggled, sneaking a glance at Xu Nanxiao. Xu Nanxiao, completely unaware, stared down with a dazed expression. His collar had been pulled askew by Lu Yingjie, exposing the vulnerable curve of his neck, laid bare and defenseless.

The cold clarity that had briefly doused his mind was once again steamed into scalding heat by surging desire, wrapping around Lu Yingjie in a thick, languid haze.

Keep going, he told himself.

It’s okay. This is what you’ve always dreamed of. Nanxiao Ge will forget after he wakes up. You’re just taking the chance to fulfill a small wish.

But Nanxiao Ge is already suffering so much because of that pervert. How can you become an accomplice?

No—make him suffer. Make him remember you. Even if it’s just his body’s unconscious response, make him feel your presence.

By the time Lu Yingjie came to his senses, he’d already left a trail of tiny, close-mouthed kisses along Xu Nanxiao’s neck.

His older brother’s scent, once the most aloof and formidable symbol in his memory, had now become the strongest wine—forcefully flooding Lu Yingjie’s breath, saturating his lungs, birthing a twisted, surging craving.

Dazed and overwhelmed, Lu Yingjie murmured almost unconsciously: “Ge, I love you. I love you so much. Won’t you love me too?”

But in that very instant, as if someone had snapped their fingers by Xu Nanxiao’s ear—click—Xu Nanxiao suddenly jolted awake.

He didn’t know what had happened. He coughed twice, gasping for air like a drowning man.

The next second, he saw Lu Yingjie pressed over him, lips buried against his neck.

His eyes flew open, his mind going completely blank.

No! Lu Yingjie was stunned, his heart racing like it had been through an explosion, his whole body cold as if drenched in ice water. Liar—the drug’s effect wasn’t over yet! His ge shouldn’t have woken up now!

Just as the air turned completely frozen, a thunderous pounding came from outside the door, followed by Ying Yusheng’s anxious voice:

“Nanxiao, are you in there? Are you okay!”

In that moment, all the threads in Lu Yingjie’s mind twisted, sorted, and linked together at lightning speed.

Finally, he understood everything.