HL 36

If the first kiss was a test, this kiss was a storm of pent-up release.

Xu Nanxiao was forced to bear the overwhelming overflow of Ying Yusheng’s desire. The other’s kiss and breath were both thick and heavy; his thick tongue pushed stiffly into Xu Nanxiao’s mouth, licking heavily across his palate.

Xu Nanxiao instinctively tried to escape, but the other caught his retreating tongue and bit down hard on that soft flesh, nearly sucking it into a vacuum.

No amount of pulling, tearing, or shoving worked. In the end, Ying Yusheng was pried off by a punch from Xu Nanxiao.

But because he’d been weakened by the kiss, the punch had lost most of its force—just enough to make Ying Yusheng let go, but without causing any real damage.

“Are you insane?! What the hell are you doing?!” Xu Nanxiao didn’t even stop to catch his breath before roaring at Ying Yusheng, grabbing him by the collar.

“Just what you saw—I was kissing you,” Ying Yusheng said, touching his scraped lip.

“Kiss—” Ying Yusheng’s bluntness actually left Xu Nanxiao speechless for a moment. He stammered, “Ying Yusheng, are you drunk out of your mind?”

“I am a bit tipsy, but not so drunk that I’d kiss just anyone.”

“Then why the fuck?!!!” Ying Yusheng’s sharp interruption made Xu Nanxiao explode.

Ying Yusheng said nothing, just silently watching Xu Nanxiao. He said nothing, yet it was as if he had said everything.

Xu Nanxiao realized something, stared in disbelief for a moment, then forced down his anger and asked, “You like men?”

“I didn’t before, but now…” Ying Yusheng paused. “I don’t know.”

“Fuck. You’re not telling me you’ve got a thing for me?”

“I’m surprised too, but I am indeed hard.”

“Wha—” Xu Nanxiao’s eyes widened, and he instinctively glanced down at Ying Yusheng’s pants. But when he saw the overly prominent bulge, he quickly averted his gaze in embarrassment.

Xu Nanxiao clenched his teeth, restraining himself again and again, until finally, in a fit of shame and rage, he jumped up and pointed at Ying Yusheng’s nose, cursing: “Get lost! I’ve always thought of you as a brother! And you want to fuck me?! Was that your plan all along—getting close to me, clinging to me every day?!”

Ying Yusheng remained unmoved, simply saying calmly, “At first, I just wanted to get along with you. I’m confused myself about when things turned into this.”

He knelt up and reached for Xu Nanxiao’s wrist: “Why, Nan Xiao? I used to like girls before.”

Xu Nanxiao’s whole body stiffened. He moved his lips with difficulty, but finally shook off Ying Yusheng’s hand, “How the hell would I know! Don’t touch me, it’s disgusting! What I hate most are fucking queers. I really misjudged you!”

Ying Yusheng’s hand was struck away hard and soon reddened. He stared at the back of his hand for a moment, then suddenly looked at Xu Nanxiao with sharp brows like a hunting fox.

“Do you really mean that?”

Xu Nanxiao gritted his teeth and stayed silent.

Ying Yusheng asked again in a calm voice, “Nan Xiao, do you really mean that?”

Of course he meant it! Homosexuals were the most disgusting thing in the world!

The words were already at the tip of his tongue, yet for some reason, he couldn’t force them out completely. In the end, Xu Nanxiao grabbed his jacket from the sofa and left without looking back.

Since that drunken incident, Xu Nanxiao hadn’t gone home for a week, instead staying in the office at the club.

And Ying Yusheng—whether out of guilt or not—hadn’t come looking for him all week either. Not only did he not come, but there were no texts or calls either, as if he’d vanished from the face of the earth.

Xu Nanxiao couldn’t calm down. Alone, his mind was filled with that kiss, so after work he drowned himself in bars.

In the bar, the music thundered, his drinking buddies were rowdy and loud, but Xu Nanxiao sat there with a grim expression, staring at his phone. Seeing the empty chat box, he clenched his teeth and threw the phone hard onto the marble coffee table.

Now you’re playing hard to get? Xu Nanxiao thought angrily.

Who was the one who made things weird between them? Who was the one who betrayed their bond?

They’d known each other for almost a year, always interacting as friends. And now, out of nowhere, he was being told that his harmless roommate had been eyeing his ass? Wasn’t that absurd?

First Lu Yingjie, now Ying Yusheng—had he stumbled into a den of queers?

Ying Yusheng should be the one coming to him, kowtowing and apologizing!

Xu Nanxiao began to recall all the little details of his time with Ying Yusheng, and sure enough, he found many clues. From that point on, all that kindness, warmth, and help became ulterior motives—evidence of scheming against him.

This should have made Xu Nanxiao sick. If it had been anyone else, he would have cut all ties immediately and never looked back. Yet he realized with frustration that he couldn’t bring himself to feel disgust toward Ying Yusheng.

Even that kiss hadn’t made him feel physically repulsed.

And that was what he found hardest to accept.

Zhao Yong finally noticed that Xu Nanxiao was unusually quiet today, so he threw an arm around his shoulder and shook him, “What’s up? You’re out with us for once and still not happy?”

Wrinkling his nose at the smell of alcohol on Zhao Yong’s breath, Xu Nanxiao turned his face slightly and brushed him off: “It’s nothing.”

“What, you’re looking down on me now?”

“Come on, Yong Ge, the guy lives with a professor every day—he doesn’t want to hang out with small-timers like us anymore,” a younger man next to them said with a sneer.

“What, does knowledge spread through the air?” Zhao Yong didn’t take it seriously. He leaned in and lowered his voice, “Hey, Nan Xiao, look at two o’clock.”

Xu Nanxiao lazily glanced over. It was a woman, a face he didn’t recognize.

“Who’s that?”

“Jiang Li’s best friend. Pretty, isn’t she?”

So-so. Not as good-looking as Ying Yusheng, Xu Nanxiao thought to himself.

A few seconds later, he suddenly realized how terrifying that thought was. He choked on his own breath, coughed, and took a few heavy swigs of liquor.

With so much on his mind, getting drunk was almost inevitable.

By the early hours of the morning, Xu Nanxiao had passed out on the booth. He felt like he was floating in the center of the universe, spinning rapidly around some non-existent celestial body. The voices around him came and went—seemed like his drinking buddies were discussing how to get him home.

“Call him a cab.”

“Do you think he can even make it out of the car like this? If he ends up dead on the side of the road, who’s responsible?”

“Then what do we do? You take him home—you invited him, you see it through.”

“How can I take him… my place and his are on opposite ends of the city!”

Xu Nanxiao struggled to sit up, wanting to say he wasn’t that drunk and would call a cab himself. Just then, Zhao Yong spoke up: “Call his roommate. Have him come pick Xu Nanxiao up.”

Hearing the word “home,” Xu Nanxiao froze for a few seconds, then leaned back into the sofa, ultimately not saying a word to stop them. He opened his eyes and stared at a void point on the ceiling, lost in thought.

Staring, he started to doze off again.

Half-asleep, he suddenly heard Ying Yusheng’s voice, pulling him out of the fog.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Ying Yusheng’s voice was slightly out of breath, as if he’d rushed over. “Where’s Nan Xiao?”

Ying Yusheng’s aura was so clean and gentle that it seemed out of place in this bar. Xu Nanxiao’s crew, seeing him for the first time, were all taken aback and didn’t know how to interact with someone like him.

It was Zhao Yong who finally broke the ice, using a more formal tone of Mandarin than usual: “Professor Ying, right? Nan Xiao’s lying over there. Sorry to make you come all this way.”

“Don’t mention it. I was worried he’d get into trouble trying to get home on his own.”

“And this gentleman…”

“My friend, Zhou Yu,” Ying Yusheng said. “We were having a late-night snack when I got your call and came straight over.”

Then a clear, bright male voice spoke up: “Hello, everyone.”

Xu Nanxiao snapped his eyes open and looked toward the voice.

The young man looked to be about twenty or so, dressed like a student—slender and delicate, fitting Xu Nanxiao’s stereotype of a bottom. Seeing Zhou Yu and Ying Yusheng standing side by side, and recalling that he himself had rejected Ying Yusheng just a week ago, Xu Nanxiao immediately formed a sleazy guess about their relationship.

Just then, Ying Yusheng also looked over, and their eyes met.

Ying Yusheng paused briefly, then his eyes curved into a smile, narrowing into slits. “Perfect timing—Nan Xiao’s awake. Let’s go.”

Xu Nanxiao sat in the back seat, his face expressionless the entire time, staring at the rearview mirror.

But Ying Yusheng either didn’t notice, or pretended not to, and kept making casual conversation with Zhou Yu.

Ying Yusheng: “I’ll take him home first, and then we can go eat.”

Zhou Yu: “Don’t bother, Sheng Ge. It’s late. Your friend’s still drunk and needs looking after.”

“That works. We’ll catch up another time.”

“I’m free whenever. Up to you—call me if you miss me.”

Ying Yusheng smiled but said nothing.

Zhou Yu’s place wasn’t far from the bar, and they arrived quickly. He had already gotten out of the passenger seat, but doubled back, leaning on the car window, and repeated to Ying Yusheng: “Call me if you miss me.”

Only after receiving Ying Yusheng’s promise did Zhou Yu leave satisfied.

After Zhou Yu left, the car fell into dead silence.

Ying Yusheng started the engine and finally deigned to look at Xu Nanxiao in the rearview mirror, asking softly, “Going home?”

“Yeah,” Xu Nanxiao sneered. “I paid rent, didn’t I? Why wouldn’t I go back?”

Ying Yusheng then asked, “Are you still angry?”

“…”

“I’m sorry. If it’s about that day, I really did drink too much. I apologize.”

Xu Nanxiao hadn’t expected Ying Yusheng to admit it so openly, and he stiffened. But in the end, he let out a scoff and didn’t respond. Instead, he jerked his chin toward the direction Zhou Yu had left and asked, “Who was that? Not going to introduce him?”

“Nothing much to introduce. Just a friend.”

A friend? Who has dinner with a friend this late? Since when did Ying Yusheng even have friends? Hadn’t he always been alone?

“Friend or student?” Xu Nanxiao said. “He looks like he hasn’t even entered the workforce. Can you really hang out with someone that young?”

Hearing the sarcasm in Xu Nanxiao’s tone, Ying Yusheng didn’t get upset, simply explaining, “We’re not that far apart in age. Zhou Yu is from another school, so he’s not technically my student.”

“Hanging out with young people—that’s great,” Xu Nanxiao paused, then said abruptly, “Just hope you’re not pretending to be friends while hiding ulterior motives.”

That was too harsh. Ying Yusheng fell silent again.

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Finally, he looked up again, giving a meaningful smile. “Aside from you, I should try getting along with other people too. That way, I won’t keep bothering you.”

Xu Nanxiao felt as if something had squeezed his chest hard, wringing out a handful of murky water that dripped through the cracks between fingers.

Ying Yusheng was going to try out other “friends”?

You messed up my emotions, and now that you see I’m not responding well, you’re turning to someone else—what the hell kind of nonsense are you saying?

As if to fight back against this pathetic feeling, Xu Nanxiao blurted out: “Great, that’s perfect. I couldn’t be happier.”