HL 39

Xu Nanxiao was watching a movie when Ying Yusheng’s door suddenly burst open.

He was hastily buttoning his shirt while grabbing bread from the fridge.

“Oh no.” A thin layer of flush rose on his face from the rush. “I’m going to be late for class.”

“You didn’t mention you had class today,” Xu Nanxiao said, draping his arms over the back of the sofa, watching with schadenfreude. “And you still insisted on staying up with me to watch the game so late last night.”

Ying Yusheng’s flustered state was a rare sight. He always seemed to be in perfect control, not quite like a real human being—so this moment made him seem especially vivid. Xu Nanxiao even stopped watching TV, finding it amusing to watch him scurry around.

Ying Yusheng downed the bread in a few bites, took a couple of swigs of milk, grabbed his briefcase, and hurried out the door. But just as his left foot crossed the threshold, he remembered something and turned back.

“Wait for me at home. We’ll go out for dinner tonight—I’ve already booked a restaurant.” He leaned down and said to Xu Nanxiao.

“Okay.”

Before the word was fully out, Ying Yusheng kissed Xu Nanxiao on the lips.

It had been a week since that first voluntary kiss at the elevator entrance, but Xu Nanxiao still couldn’t get used to Ying Yusheng’s sudden kisses.

He bristled like a startled cat, his spine going rigid. His hand reached out to push Ying Yusheng away but stopped midair before touching his shoulder, fingers merely grasping at the empty air.

He couldn’t push Ying Yusheng away, because he knew that the only thing he could rely on to keep Ying Yusheng was this body. If he refused, Ying Yusheng might go to Zhou Yu—or someone else.

But his “male pride” and “heterosexual instinct” were screaming and tearing at him, telling him to kick this male creature away.

Ying Yusheng licked several times but couldn’t pry open Xu Nanxiao’s teeth. In the end, he gave a punishing bite to Xu Nanxiao’s lower lip, provoking another shudder from the man beneath him.

…

After Ying Yusheng pulled away, Xu Nanxiao couldn’t help himself—his face reddening, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. But no matter how much he wiped, he couldn’t get rid of that milky smell.

“See you tonight.” Ying Yusheng pretended not to notice, smiling.

“Oh,” Xu Nanxiao said, staring at the floor.

If a normal person sensed that the other person resisted kissing, they would feel uncomfortable. That was why Xu Nanxiao didn’t dare meet Ying Yusheng’s eyes.

But Ying Yusheng clearly wasn’t a normal person.

His eyes crinkled in a smile; instead, he found it even more enjoyable to watch Xu Nanxiao—who couldn’t accept kissing a man—force himself to endure it.

From total resistance at the beginning, to now enduring stiffly, and even starting to worry about his feelings, afraid to show his reluctance too obviously.

Xu Nanxiao, just to stay by his side, was peeling away his own defenses one layer at a time, crossing lines he had once considered immovable.

Those struggles, compromises, and the tug-of-war between clarity and confusion gave Ying Yusheng far more of a sense of control than any docile compliance ever could.

Ying Yusheng wasn’t in a hurry. The defenses of the other’s body would eventually crumble through repeated touches and intimacies. Pleasure would breed, habits would form, and in the end, that pitiful “instinct” would twist itself into a shape best suited to embrace him.

And he was certain it wouldn’t take long.

A month later, summer was approaching.

Ying Yusheng, as he did every year, reopened the pool on the open terrace. He did a simple cleaning, then moved the hose from the bathroom and started filling it with water.

The water wasn’t even full yet, but Xu Nanxiao was already enjoying himself. He put on swim trunks and a tank top, donned sunglasses, lay back on an inflatable lounger, and held a can of beer in his hand. The blazing sun beat down on the terrace, warming his skin.

Holding the hose, Ying Yusheng said half-jokingly, “When I was cleaning the pool, you were nowhere to be seen. But now you’re faster than anyone else.”

Hearing that, Xu Nanxiao pushed his sunglasses up and shot Ying Yusheng a glare. Then he paddled the water with his hand, moving the lounger slowly to the edge of the pool.

Ying Yusheng thought he was going to say something and leaned in closer, only to be hit by a water gun Xu Nanxiao had hidden in advance.

Xu Nanxiao laughed loudly: “Hahaha, now you know who’s boss?”

“Nan Xiao…” Ying Yusheng rubbed his eyes, using his arm to shield himself. “How old are you this year?”

Ying Yusheng was wearing jeans on his lower half and a white shirt on top, with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms for ease of work. After being drenched by the water gun, everything clung wetly to him, turning translucent and revealing his firm chest and abs.

Although he looked refined and gentle in clothes, the body beneath—even by Xu Nanxiao’s exacting standards as a professional athlete—was something he would privately praise.

Nothing like a frail academic who sat in an office all day.

As Xu Nanxiao was admiring the view, the next second, Ying Yusheng leaped into the pool. He watched in a daze as Ying Yusheng swam over, then the other smiled and flipped his lounger over.

Caught off guard, Xu Nanxiao plunged into the water. The pool pressed in from all sides. He flailed blindly in the grayish-blue haze for a few seconds before his feet finally touched the smooth tiles.

He shot up, water splashing everywhere, his nose and throat burning as he coughed violently.

“What the hell are you doing?” Xu Nanxiao glared at Ying Yusheng, pushing his soaked strands of hair back with force.

“Now who’s the boss?” Ying Yusheng’s eyes curved as he mocked him using Xu Nanxiao’s own tone.

Xu Nanxiao laughed in exasperation and was about to say something when Ying Yusheng silenced him with his mouth, swallowing whatever words were left.

As they kissed, he was pressed against the edge of the pool. The cold tiles made his back shiver. Ying Yusheng’s hands began to wander restlessly—from his neck to his chest, then down to his stomach, and finally to his hip bones.

Between the scorching palm and the icy pool water, Xu Nanxiao’s body didn’t know which to react to; his mind had turned into a thick mush.

It wasn’t until Ying Yusheng started tugging at his shorts that he snapped out of it, grabbing the other’s wrist.

“What are you trying to do?” he asked dryly, knowing full well.

“Let’s hold ours together. It’ll feel good,” Ying Yusheng said in a low voice, then kissed the side of Xu Nanxiao’s neck.

Xu Nanxiao’s whole body went rigid; a chill shot straight up to his scalp.

To touch it. A man’s. That thing.

He reflexively blocked Ying Yusheng’s advances. The two grown men were locked in a stalemate in the pool, neither able to overpower the other.

Seeing that this wasn’t going in his favor, Xu Nanxiao turned to leave: “You’re really messed up. I’m not doing this in the pool. I’m out.”

One of Xu Nanxiao’s legs was already over the pool’s edge, one knee on the step, when he heard Ying Yusheng’s very soft voice: “So you really still can’t accept it, can you?”

He paused and looked back to see Ying Yusheng smiling at him helplessly.

“If you can’t accept it, Nan Xiao, let’s just forget it. Don’t force yourself.”

With that, Ying Yusheng turned his face away, preparing to leave from the other end of the pool.

What did “forget it” mean?

These four words buzzed in Xu Nanxiao’s head, absurdly stinging his nerves.

Threatening me?

Shouldn’t it be him—the straight guy being pestered—who should be the one unable to bear it and wanting to end things? What right did Ying Yusheng have to put on that forgiving face? It was he who had pushed too far, insisting on challenging his boundaries!

Fine, break up. Go find whoever you want.

Go find that Zhou Yu, or some Zhang Yu, Li Yu—it didn’t matter!

But… the thought of Ying Yusheng looking at someone else with that focused, helpless gaze, speaking to them in that coaxing voice, even kissing them, even sleeping with them—it sent a sudden cramp through Xu Nanxiao’s stomach.

No.

The thought was so sharp it startled even him.

He had long grown used to having Ying Yusheng by his side. Forcibly tearing that away would leave a bloody, unfillable void.

Fear coiled around his heart like vines, tightening until he could barely breathe.

Watching Ying Yusheng turn away, ripples spreading behind him as if he really were drawing a clear line between them—

“Stop! Who said I can’t take it?” He suddenly shouted, his voice hard and stiff. He tried to maintain his usual arrogance, but couldn’t hide the panic. “What are you blabbering about? I just didn’t want to get the water dirty. Come back!”

Ying Yusheng stopped, looking at him warily.

Seeing Ying Yusheng unmoved, Xu Nanxiao simply jumped back into the water, strode over to him in a few steps, and began fumbling with the button on his jeans with trembling hands.

Xu Nanxiao didn’t dare look down, but from a simple heft, he could tell just how big that thing was—it was practically a horse’s cock. Xu Nanxiao was at a loss, as if holding a hot iron; his palm almost felt burned, yet he stubbornly refused to let go.

He had no experience servicing such a thing; he could only grit his teeth and move by feel. Fortunately, before long, he heard the deep, uneven breaths coming from Ying Yusheng.

Ying Yusheng buried his face in the crook of Xu Nanxiao’s neck, all his hot breath spilling there. And he kept talking, making unreasonable demands of Xu Nanxiao:

“Touch the top part.”

“Hiss… your nail… scraped. Can you use both hands?”

“More pressure. It’s fine if it hurts.”

Even though he was the one stroking Ying Yusheng, Xu Nanxiao’s mind was completely foggy. His body was both hot and cold, like a feverish patient. Every word Ying Yusheng spoke vibrated in the air, and Xu Nanxiao felt like he was being melted into a shapeless, boneless pulp by his presence.

Finally, Ying Yusheng gave a sudden shudder and released onto his hand.

“Haha,” Ying Yusheng let out a dry, husky laugh, then reached for Xu Nanxiao’s stiff wrist. He stroked it gently, lowering his gaze to look at him. “Sorry. The pool—I still got it dirty.”