HL 23

After Xu Nanxiao left, Ying Yusheng’s interest in him did not diminish in the slightest.

Perhaps it wasn’t in him, but in the exhilaration—the ecstatic frenzy—he himself had felt in that moment.

If he wanted to understand why he had experienced such intense emotional turbulence, seeing Xu Nanxiao again was absolutely necessary.

So Ying Yusheng obtained the guest list from the funeral and went through it name by name, but he couldn’t find that man anywhere.

Could he not have been his brother’s friend? Then why had he come to the memorial hall? That day, the hall had been exclusively reserved by the Ying family—there should have been no possibility of someone wandering in by mistake.

Just as Ying Yusheng was considering using certain means to track down the man’s address through surveillance footage, he finally laid eyes on the person who had been occupying his thoughts.

However, it was in the defendant’s seat of a courtroom.

That day, reporters waiting for interviews had packed themselves layer upon layer around the courthouse entrance, and the police had even dispatched a squad of armed officers to maintain order.

It was only then that Ying Yusheng learned that the murderer of his younger brother was none other than the current number one lightweight boxer in China—Xu Nanxiao.

Being fortunate enough to witness the fall of a boxing prodigy—no wonder all those reporters outside were clamoring for a piece of the story.

When Xu Nanxiao was led by the police to the defendant’s seat, he bore no resemblance to the wretched, feeble figure from that day. He was dressed flamboyantly and sharply, his demeanor aggressive—almost like a completely different person.

Not only that, his statements were so belligerent that the judge had to repeatedly admonish him to show more respect.

“Your Honor, you act like the boxing ring is a kindergarten. If you sign a waiver, you accept the consequences. He was outmatched, he went down and couldn’t get back up—was I supposed to get on my knees and give him mouth-to-mouth?”

“What’s this ‘excessive striking’ nonsense? Ha, do I need to teach you the rules of boxing here?”

“What do I have to reflect on? It’s his coaching team that should be doing the reflecting—knowing their fighter couldn’t take a hit, they still sent him in to die. Instead of crying their eyes out now, they should have bought more insurance policies back then.”

Anyone with a normal set of values would be furious hearing these words.

Even if the opponent had truly died accidentally in the ring, Xu Nanxiao had personally taken a young life. He should have felt shame and guilt. Not this complete lack of empathy, openly shirking responsibility in court.

Ying Baiying was shaking with rage.

Throughout it all, Xu Nanxiao’s lips curled into a sardonic smirk. When he glanced at the gallery, his expression was almost mocking. Only when the opposing counsel brought up the history of animosity—the fact that the deceased had once molested him—did a flicker of panic and vulnerability cross his face. But it was quickly replaced by a snarling, defiant roar.

Ying Yusheng watched with amusement. Was he truly as consistent as he appeared—entirely unmoved by the killing?

Then who was that pathetic wretch who couldn’t even stand straight from vomiting, his face a mess of tears and snot?

So pitiful. So ridiculous. So endearing.

Every arrogant declaration from Xu Nanxiao reminded Ying Yusheng of the tears and the stench of stomach acid at the funeral. That mangy cur who had collapsed in heaving sobs at the memorial hall was now clad in a sharp suit, baring his fangs and barking wildly.

Ying Yusheng felt his stomach burning, tiny electric currents racing up his spine. The desire was so overpowering, so urgent, that his pores trembled.

He wanted to see it again.

He wanted to claw through that polished veneer, seize that taut neck, pin him to the ground, and force him to regurgitate every arrogant word he’d uttered in court.

Then strip away his disguise, topple that castle of bluff and bravado, and reduce him back to the cowering, retching, utterly destitute wretch he truly was.

While Ying Baiying was fixed on the courtroom, she suddenly noticed her eldest son stand up.

“Where are you going?”

Ying Yusheng smiled gently. “To the restroom.”

“Now of all times?” she scolded, displeased.

“See, I told you not to drink so much water—trials run long,” his cousin teased from beside him. “Can’t hold it anymore?”

“No,” Ying Yusheng replied calmly.

He was hard.

Putting aside the matter of seeking death for now—Ying Yusheng now had something he wanted more.

In a sense, Xu Nanxiao had saved his life. Not only that, he had made him feel truly “alive.”

He wanted Xu Nanxiao. He had never wanted anything so badly in his life. And for him, even the emotion of “wanting” was already precious beyond measure.

So Ying Yusheng began investigating Xu Nanxiao’s background, devising ways to get close to him. To his surprise, it turned out to be easier than expected—he was actually his own student’s older brother.

Their first formal meeting was at the entrance of a movie theater.

It was Lu Yingjie who spotted him first. “Professor, what a coincidence—you’re here to watch a movie too?”

Ying Yusheng froze, his eyes fixed on Xu Nanxiao, as if time itself had slowed around them.

Lu Yingjie, assuming his professor was curious about who he was with, immediately introduced him: “This is my Ge, he came with me to see the movie.”

Clearly, Xu Nanxiao had been in such a terrible state at the funeral, and Ying Yusheng had been wearing a mask, so Xu Nanxiao hadn’t remembered his face at all.

Thus, Xu Nanxiao not only showed no reaction now, but even nodded politely in greeting.

Ying Yusheng smiled subtly, responding with refined courtesy: “Hello, nice to meet you.”

“Professor, you teach psychology?” Xu Nanxiao suddenly asked.

“Yes.”

Xu Nanxiao grinned roguishly. “Then can you tell what I’m thinking right now?”

…

After listening to Ying Yusheng’s “sweet” reminiscence, “livid” was no longer sufficient to describe Ying Baiying’s expression.

“Absolute nonsense!” Ying Baiying wished she could unhear those words. Her voice trembling, she ground out through clenched teeth: “You’re insane! This isn’t love—you’re blinded by sadism!!!”

“Is that so?” Ying Yusheng was unfazed, even smiling. “Maybe. I can’t really tell the difference.”

“Cut ties with him immediately!” Ying Baiying’s voice wasn’t loud, but every word carried an unmistakable weight of authority. “Ying Yusheng, this is not a discussion—it’s an order!”

She glared furiously at her son, who continued eating with undisturbed composure, her gaze nearly piercing through him.

“You’re entangled with your brother’s killer—are you afraid we don’t have enough shame to endure?! Do you think your brother can rest in peace knowing this?!”

Ying Yusheng adjusted his glasses, his amused smile undiminished, as if his mother’s fury were merely background noise.

“Everything you say is correct. But what does that have to do with me? Why should I give up my own happiness for someone who’s already dead?”

There was no hesitation in Ying Yusheng’s eyes—only a nearly cruel serenity.

“Normally, that incident would have been ruled an accident. You know what means you used to change that. And even if it were deliberate homicide, it was Liu Qingyang who made the first move against Xu Nanxiao.”

Ying Baiying looked as though she had just heard the most absurd joke in the world. She took a deep breath, her chest heaving violently, but quickly forced herself back to composure. She could not lose control—losing control meant letting Ying Yusheng lead her by the nose.

“Your so-called ‘happiness’ is built on the disgrace of this family, on the pain of your parents!” Her voice dropped lower, heavier, each word carrying immense weight. “I’ll give you one week to clean this up. Otherwise, I’ll handle it myself.”

“Then let me see what you’re capable of.” Ying Yusheng finally set down his chopsticks, meeting Ying Baiying’s gaze directly. “My affairs have always only gone according to my own will.”

Ying Baiying could certainly make a move against Xu Nanxiao, but she knew Ying Yusheng could just as easily use the company’s shares against her. With both sides holding leverage, neither could act recklessly.

Ying Baiying felt a前所未有的 sense of helplessness. She realized that despite her vast wealth, she could not change Ying Yusheng.

Just as her father couldn’t change her.

Just as she couldn’t change Ying Yusheng’s father.

Back then, she had screamed and raged day after day, hurling venomous words—she never truly wanted to leave.

She only wanted that man to give up his failed boxing fantasies, which he had been chasing through their children, and finally turn around to look at her and their reality.

But the man had resolutely abandoned his family, chasing that impractical moon, and ended up where he was now.

Perhaps these people genuinely didn’t care what others thought, which made traditional morality useless against them. That gave them a certain freedom.

A lawless freedom. [Note 1]

By the time he left his mother’s house, it was past eleven. Ying Baiying refused to let Uncle Zhang drive Ying Yusheng home. Helpless at his mother’s petulance, Ying Yusheng had no choice but to take a taxi back.

He pulled out his phone in the cab, and dozens of messages popped up instantly. Aside from work-related and advertisement content, they were all birthday wishes.

Ying Yusheng felt neither happy nor unhappy, but he politely thanked each one.

After replying to the last, he suddenly noticed his chat with Xu Nanxiao. It was empty—the last exchange had been three days ago, before Xu Nanxiao had stormed out in anger.

But Ying Yusheng hadn’t expected Xu Nanxiao to remember his birthday, let alone send greetings.

It wasn’t because Xu Nanxiao was good to him that he liked him anyway.

Ying Yusheng’s fondness for Xu Nanxiao was his own business, unrelated to Xu Nanxiao—even Xu Nanxiao’s own feelings weren’t part of the equation. Xu Nanxiao just had to be like an obedient pet, passively enduring his affections.

That said, Ying Yusheng still checked his phone shortly before midnight.

No messages came.

He stared at the screen until the numbers finally flipped to 00:00. Just as he was about to put it down, a new message arrived in the next second.

A Owl: Happy birthday.
A Eagle: ?
A Owl: What’s with the question mark, happy birthday.
A Eagle: Thank you Nanxiao, but my birthday was yesterday (Plump Fox upset.jpg)
A Owl: …
A Eagle: …
A Owl: No big deal, a day early or a day late is all the same. Here, this is for you.

With that, he sent a GIF of a black cake. The GIF even had a candle that lit up, eventually popping up a “happy birthday” banner.

A Eagle: What’s this?
A Owl: Heh, an electronic cake.

But the next second, the electronic cake was retracted.

A Eagle: Why take back an electronic cake?
A Owl: You don’t eat chocolate—switching to strawberry.
A Owl: Electronic Strawberry Cake.gif

Ying Yusheng looked at those messages and couldn’t help but let out a chuckle, startling the driver beside him.

The driver couldn’t resist teasing: “Young man, what’s got you so happy?”

A belated birthday wish, a ridiculous electronic cake—as a friend, could Xu Nanxiao be any worse? Compared to him, Ying Baiying was practically a model mother.

Truth be told, Ying Yusheng himself didn’t know why Xu Nanxiao had such a hold on him.

Could money, honor, healthy love, and the thrill of killing and near-death experiences really be outshone by a shallow, selfish, dissolute guy? Or was it, as his mother said, merely an interest rooted in sadism?

After eleven years of studying psychology, Ying Yusheng still couldn’t answer that.

But after eleven years of studying psychology, he had at least grasped one irrefutable truth—

Theory cannot account for all of humanity’s complex emotions.

The next day after work, Xu Nanxiao took a shower at the club and was getting ready to go home.

He wrapped a towel around his narrow waist and was drying his hair while opening his locker when he noticed his phone inside was lit up.

He took it out and saw a message from Ying Yusheng.

A Eagle: [Two hot spring resort vouchers.jpg]

A Eagle: I’m here to make amends.

A Owl: ? For what?

A Eagle: That day at my place, I said some very offensive things that made you angry (Plump Fox hangs head.jpg).

A Owl: …I wasn’t angry.

He had been angry at the time, but not at Ying Yusheng—more at himself for lashing out in denial rather than facing reality.

But now he’d made up his mind. Since he couldn’t bring himself to fully trust Lu Yingjie, he had to find the real hooded man to clear Lu Yingjie’s name.

A Eagle: If you weren’t angry, why haven’t you come to see me all this time? And why did you get my birthday wrong?

Xu Nanxiao let out a dry laugh—did he ever seek Ying Yusheng out often before?

A Owl: So, Professor Ying, what do you want?

A Eagle: Come to the hot springs with me.

A Eagle: You know…

A Owl: I know—you don’t have many friends. Lucky for you, I’m so kind-hearted, I’ll go with you.

Xu Nanxiao beat him to it.

And so the plan was set.

After putting down his phone, Xu Nanxiao unconsciously started humming a cheerful tune. His coworker beside him, noticing his good mood, couldn’t resist teasing: “Look at you all smug—what, scored a date with a pretty girl again?”

Xu Nanxiao froze, nearly getting goosebumps. He scowled and shot back, “The hell are you talking about!”