HL 73

One sentence nearly made Xu Nanxiao go soft on the spot.

He widened his eyes, then immediately began struggling, using his elbow to push the distance between them, cursing loudly, “Stop it, get off!”

Who made him feel better?

Fooling around like this with Ying Yusheng was already something Xu Nanxiao could only do when he’d lost his mind. Now to admit that being with a man felt better than being with a woman—that would be like peeling off a layer of his male pride. He instantly lost all interest, and even felt a chill of disgust.

But Ying Yusheng, not getting an answer, didn’t let go of Xu Nanxiao. Instead, with a blank expression, he pushed right in through that still-soft opening.

“Tell me, Nanxiao.”

His voice was caught in his throat. Xu Nanxiao’s slender fingers groped blindly across the countertop and finally sank deep into a peach. The soft fruit was crushed into a pulpy mess, peach juice running down his elbow and dripping onto the floor one drop at a time.

His scolding turned into sobs: “Ah… are you, are you actually insane?”

…

After being tormented by Ying Yusheng all morning, he still had to go to his mother’s house in the afternoon to deliver large bags of holiday gifts. Xu Nanxiao held his lower back, feeling like his life was set for good.

But as soon as he walked in today, Xu Nanxiao sensed something off about her. Following behind Xu Nanxiao, she hesitated and stammered, as if she had something to say.

Xu Nanxiao set the holiday gifts on the table and began putting them away in the cabinets one by one. Without turning around, he asked while tidying up, “What’s wrong?”

There was a moment of silence behind him, and then his mother said with an embarrassed laugh, “Tian Qian’s family wants to invite you to dinner for the New Year. Old Tian said you saved Qianqian’s life and they’ve never properly thanked you.”

Xu Nanxiao wasn’t bragging—with this face, he’d never lacked for female attention. So he knew all too well what these thanks, invitations, and attempts to reconnect really meant behind the scenes.

“No.” Xu Nanxiao refused coldly.

His mother said nothing but didn’t leave.

He knew that for someone as timid and thin-skinned as his mother, turning down a family that had shown her kindness wasn’t easy.

Sure enough, she tried again, “Actually, Qianqian is really nice. She’s especially gentle, and she’s good at everything inside and outside the house. If you go to Beijing, she said she could…”

“Mom.” Xu Nanxiao cut her off, took a deep breath, and finally said, “I told you before—I’m not getting married. I’m not into women.”

“Wh-What do you mean?”

“I’m with a man now.”

His mother’s eyes widened, and she froze on the spot, like a patient who’d just received devastating news, unable to move at all.

That was normal. For a traditional mother who’d barely ever left the village, she probably didn’t even know what homosexuality was. Oh wait, she did—when he was little, there was a college student who was gay, and his father tied him to a tree and whipped him. The village kids, not knowing any better, threw rotten tomatoes at him too.

But Xu Nanxiao couldn’t be bothered to pretend. He couldn’t fake it for a lifetime anyway. If his mother couldn’t accept him, then he’d just go back to Beijing tomorrow.

“…”

“…”

Alright, alright—seeing his mother’s dazed and lost look, Xu Nanxiao actually regretted it a little.

It was almost New Year. Why did he have to bring this up now? Now no one would have a good holiday.

But to his surprise, his mother didn’t become hysterical or burst into tears. She just stood there blankly for a while, looked at him, then looked down, then looked at him again, and asked tentatively:

“The one you’re with now… is that young man with the glasses who came last time?”

Xu Nanxiao paused, “How did you…”

“You’ve been independent since you were little. You never liked asking for help, and you’ve never brought anyone home before.” His mother explained helplessly.

Xu Nanxiao wanted to argue, but in the end, he closed his mouth and admitted defeat.

“Yeah.”

“Ah, honestly, once you get married, you realize it’s all just that.” She seemed to think of herself and laughed self-deprecatingly. “So I’ve made up my mind—whatever you want. As long as you’re happy and content.”

Xu Nanxiao hadn’t expected his mother to say something like that, and he was momentarily speechless. The hardness in his heart suddenly softened.

Then, his mother leaned in closer and mumbled, “I understand. I’ll handle it on their end. But Nanxiao, since they’ve been so good to me, and since you’re not planning to get married, let me discuss something with you…”

According to the schedule, today was Xu Nanxiao’s turn to lock up the shop. So after class, Ying Yusheng went straight to the garage entrance to wait for him.

But the person who came out wasn’t Xu Nanxiao—it was Ye Qiaozi.

The two of them locked eyes, both startled.

Ying Yusheng reacted first. He smiled slightly, his voice as gentle as a breeze: “Boss Ye, long time no see.”

“Long time no see, Teacher Ying.” Ye Qiaozi replied hesitantly.

“Is Nanxiao not here?”

“Those three guys went to grab good fishing spots and took off early.”

“Alright, then I won’t disturb you.”

Ye Qiaozi’s information network hadn’t been updated yet. In her eyes, the relationship between Xu Nanxiao and Ying Yusheng was still that of a physically and emotionally drained victim and a persistently clingy scumbag.

So she couldn’t help but call out to Ying Yusheng: “Teacher Ying, I’m begging you—just leave Brother Xu alone. Sister Qianqian and Brother Xu are at a critical stage in developing their relationship. You’re making things difficult for Brother Xu.”

Ying Yusheng turned around, silently looked at Ye Qiaozi for a moment, and then said calmly, “But Nanxiao doesn’t like that girl, you know.”

“What?”

“When someone has feelings for another person, their eyes will unconsciously follow them. But when that girl gets close, Nanxiao’s shoulders tense up slightly, his body instinctively leans back, and his hands find something to do. That’s a defensive posture.”

Ye Qiaozi listened, dumbfounded.

“There’s a concept in psychology called ‘approach-avoidance conflict.’ When a person doesn’t want to hurt the other party but also can’t reciprocate their feelings, they exhibit this kind of contradictory behavior.”

Ye Qiaozi felt like she’d been transported back to high school class—she’d heard it but hadn’t understood a thing. Finally, she slumped her shoulders and said dejectedly, “I kind of get why Brother Xu finds you annoying.”

“?”

Ye Qiaozi was about to explain when her gaze suddenly went past Ying Yusheng’s shoulder and landed on a familiar figure—

It was Tian Qian!

She immediately walked over and said in surprise, “Sister Qianqian, why are you here? Brother Xu isn’t here right now—he just ran off to go fishing.”

Tian Qian hadn’t expected to miss Xu Nanxiao by coincidence. This twist of fate made her feel a wave of disappointment. She steadied herself before continuing, “I came to return something to Brother Nanxiao. If he’s not here, then never mind.”

But Ying Yusheng suddenly interjected himself into their conversation and suggested with a smile, “If you have something to return to him, I can pass it along.”

Ye Qiaozi shot Ying Yusheng a fierce glare.

Tian Qian hesitated, torn for a long moment, but eventually nodded. Since she had decided to part ways with Xu Nanxiao, she couldn’t keep lingering like this.

“I’ll trouble the two of you to give this to Brother Nanxiao. Tell him: I understand what he meant, but this is too precious—I can’t accept it.”

With that, Tian Qian placed a gold ring into Ying Yusheng’s palm. She didn’t stay long, gave a slight bow, and turned to leave.

Ye Qiaozi also saw the gold ring and was shocked. She thought to herself that Brother Xu had really gone all out—spending that much money on a woman?

She glanced sneakily at Ying Yusheng, and then suddenly froze.

Ying Yusheng’s eyes were wide open, and deep within them, something seemed to have cracked. He tried to twitch the corners of his mouth into a reassuring smile, but the smile only tugged at half his face, frozen at his lips.

It was as if what he held in his hand wasn’t a piece of gold, but a freshly dug-out, steaming-hot heart.

When Xu Nanxiao got home, it was already ten at night.

They hadn’t planned to fish that late, but Xu Nanxiao had been coming up empty all day and was determined to catch at least one.

The result was that he stayed until ten at night and only caught a five-centimeter silverfish, which Liu Zhuo and Liang Sihua pointed at and mercilessly mocked.

Feeling dejected, Xu Nanxiao dragged his feet up to the seventh floor, but when he looked up, he saw someone standing at his door—

Ying Yusheng was leaning against the wall, head slightly bowed. You couldn’t see his eyes behind his glasses, nor could you see his expression.

“Why are you here? You waited all this time? Why didn’t you call me?” Xu Nanxiao asked in confusion as he pulled out his keys to open the door.

But as soon as he pushed the door open, Ying Yusheng suddenly grabbed him by the shoulders, pinned him against the door, and kissed him. His shoulder blades hurt from being pressed against something hard, and he instinctively struggled, but Ying Yusheng pressed him down even harder.

Kissing led to them tumbling onto the bed.

Ying Yusheng was different from usual—his movements were very rough. Xu Nanxiao didn’t say it, but he actually liked it rough; the more pain, the better. But he also hated being dominated, stuck between a rock and a hard place, so they rarely played like this.

Who knew that today Ying Yusheng would directly pull open his collar and bite the back of his neck, sinking his canine teeth into the flesh. Just like when animals mate, the male bites the female’s neck so she can’t escape.

Xu Nanxiao cursed in pain and shoved him away with his arm, “What the hell is wrong with you today?! Get the fuck out!!!”

Ying Yusheng didn’t leave. He just let out a low laugh, his voice tired and hoarse: “Nanxiao, loving you is really exhausting. Every time you open your mouth, you tell me to get lost.”

Xu Nanxiao shot back without thinking, making a move to get up: “If it’s exhausting, then don’t do it. Fuck, I’d be better off using a massage wand than you—at least it obeys!”

The person behind him fell silent instantly.

Then, Xu Nanxiao heard Ying Yusheng’s teeth grinding. After that, the other man suddenly let out a soft laugh, a laugh that made Xu Nanxiao’s skin crawl. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m crazy, I’m a massage wand, so you can do whatever you want to me, can’t you?”

Ying Yusheng prepared himself hastily and pushed straight in.

As he thrust, he laughed wildly and said—

“But you know what, Nanxiao? That time you choked me, I really did pass out. I only struggled back to consciousness because I was afraid you’d leave, afraid they wouldn’t be able to stop you.”

“The knife you stabbed me with before you left—that hurt so, so much. It hurt so much I kept dry-heaving on the floor. While I was waiting for the ambulance, I wanted to just crash into something and end it. But then I thought, if I died, what would happen if you got together with someone else?”

“I don’t actually like it here. I don’t like the way they talk, I don’t like the old people randomly patting me on the shoulder. I don’t like teaching kids, I don’t like not being able to buy anything, I don’t like anything about this place.”

“I often think, maybe I should just lock you up again. Hypnosis, force—I’ve done both before. I can’t help these thoughts. I’ve been going crazy wanting to do it.”

“But I can’t!! Because you hate that, and I don’t want you to hate me even more!”

Xu Nanxiao was startled. In all the time he’d known Ying Yusheng, Ying Yusheng had never lost his composure like this before.

Xu Nanxiao wanted to respond, but he was being fucked so hard he couldn’t form a sentence, waves of numbness surging into his brain. He reached back, frantically pushing against Ying Yusheng’s solid chest.

Just then, Xu Nanxiao suddenly felt liquid—drop after drop—falling onto his bare back.

His mind was in a fog, and it took him a long moment to realize what it was. He froze, his eyes widening slightly as he buried his face in the pillow.

The next second, Xu Nanxiao felt Ying Yusheng’s forehead press against his back, just resting there.

Ying Yusheng clenched his teeth, laughing through tears: “Nanxiao, I only love you. Do you love a lot of people? No—do you actually hate me? Do you despise me? Could you… like me just a little? Could you not do this with me here and then propose to another woman…”

Xu Nanxiao suddenly burst into motion, using all his strength to twist around, grabbing Ying Yusheng’s still-dapper collar and raising his hand to slap him.

But unlike before, this slap was controlled—it merely turned Ying Yusheng’s face to the side, without causing any pain at all.

The whole world fell silent.

“Are you calm now?!” Xu Nanxiao shoved Ying Yusheng’s collar away roughly, panting heavily as he demanded loudly.

After a long while, Ying Yusheng turned his head back. He slowly covered his face. His eyes were red-rimmed, glistening with tears, yet not a single one fell.