HL 50

“Never happy? Not even once?” Ying Yusheng repeated, each word striking the air like a hammer, his eyes fixed unblinkingly on Xu Nanxiao. “Nan Xiao, you’re saying angry things again.”

Xu Nanxiao had only seen Ying Yusheng this angry twice before. The first time was when he had promised Ying Yusheng he wouldn’t fool around outside, yet nearly slept with a woman; the second time was now.

It would be a lie to say he wasn’t afraid, but Xu Nanxiao quickly shrugged it off.

What could he do to me?

Lock me in a dark room? Rape me? Or finally lose his temper and beat me up? He might as well kill me—that would be better than being kept like a dog in this little room for the rest of my life.

So he sneered and said, “If you want to believe it’s just angry talk, then think whatever you want.”

The muscles in Ying Yusheng’s face twitched almost imperceptibly, as if some nerve maintaining his composure had been pierced.

He slowly removed his glasses.

Ying Yusheng did this very slowly, so slowly it was almost deliberate. He picked up a cloth to wipe the lenses, lowering his eyelids, his thick lashes veiling all the emotions churning beneath.

The room was filled only with the faint sound of fabric rubbing against glass, and Xu Nanxiao’s held breath.

Time stretched out, thick and interminable.

Finally, he put his glasses back on, looked up, and smiled again. Behind the lenses, his gaze had settled—sunk deep like two bottomless wells, their surface calm yet harboring undercurrents poised to break through the ice.

“Nan Xiao, if you really want to get out that badly, then call someone to come rescue you.”

“What do you mean?” Xu Nanxiao looked at him warily.

“Don’t you think others treat you better than I do?” Ying Yusheng explained gently. “You can call someone and have them come rescue you. If someone actually shows up within three hours, I’ll never bother you again.”

“…Really?”

Xu Nanxiao didn’t believe Ying Yusheng would be this kind.

“Of course. But you can’t call the police, or get someone else to call the police for you—I’ll end the conversation immediately.”

Xu Nanxiao didn’t know what Ying Yusheng was playing at, actually letting him contact the outside world for help. Though he felt things couldn’t be that simple, this was a golden opportunity he absolutely couldn’t waste.

“Fine.”

Xu Nanxiao could only memorize a handful of phone numbers—maybe five or six—but they were all close friends, more than enough to call for help. He looked at Ying Yusheng and saw that the other still wore that composed smile at the corners of his mouth.

Xu Nanxiao’s sense of foreboding grew. He didn’t understand where Ying Yusheng’s confidence came from.

Snatching the phone, Xu Nanxiao didn’t hesitate and called Wang Heng first.

The call connected quickly.

“Boss?! Where have you been this past month?! We couldn’t reach you at all! If Brother Sheng hadn’t told us you were on vacation abroad, we’d have thought you’d been kidnapped!” Wang Heng’s anxious voice came through. Hearing that familiar raspy voice, Xu Nanxiao inexplicably felt much more at ease.

“Calm down, stop making a fuss.” Xu Nanxiao tried to sound composed, but he had no time for small talk and got straight to the point. “Something’s happened to me. I’ll send you an address—come rescue me as fast as you can.”

“Something happened?! What happened? Are you okay? Why didn’t you contact Brother Sheng? What did Brother Sheng say?”

Still Brother Sheng this, Brother Sheng that—if it weren’t for your Brother Sheng, would I be in trouble?

“He can’t come. You need to get over here right away! It’s urgent!”

“What exactly is it? What’s wrong with you?”

“I can’t explain now. I’m in danger—just come! You have to come quickly!”

The other end suddenly fell silent.

Xu Nanxiao found it strange and called out with a frown: “Wang Heng?”

“Oh, right, right, right.” Wang Heng seemed to snap out of it. “Don’t worry, boss—I’ll be right there.”

With Wang Heng’s promise, Xu Nanxiao felt much more at ease. He had just checked the location—though this place was very remote, it happened to be not far from Wang Heng’s home, only an hour’s drive away.

So Xu Nanxiao just waited patiently. He didn’t even call anyone else. But half an hour later, when he tried to call Wang Heng again to check on his progress, he couldn’t get through.

Xu Nanxiao suddenly panicked, but there was still plenty of time. He immediately called other people from the club. Yet fate seemed to be mocking him—not a single call went through.

Were they all in class and didn’t hear their phones?

But wasn’t Lingling off today? That girl was glued to her phone all the time—how could she be unreachable at a critical moment?

Xu Nanxiao dialed those five or six friends’ numbers repeatedly, but the reply was always the same: “Sorry, the number you dialed is temporarily unavailable. Please try again later.”

His heartbeat began to quicken involuntarily. His fingers on the table curled slightly, then relaxed, curled and relaxed again, the knuckles turning pale.

Across the table, Ying Yusheng was sipping the white tea the auntie had just brewed, not even casting a glance his way.

Something was wrong. Something was definitely wrong.

Who else? Whose number did he still remember? Think—think!

Xu Nanxiao felt his heart rhythmically expanding and collapsing in his chest, like an invisible hand kneading a heavy lump of wet dough.

Just then, a phone rang.

Xu Nanxiao quickly grabbed the phone to look, but realized it wasn’t the one in his hand—it was Ying Yusheng’s.

“Hello, who’s this?” Ying Yusheng said politely, taking a sip of his white tea.

“…Brother Sheng.”

When Wang Heng’s voice sounded, Xu Nanxiao’s brain went blank with a loud buzz.

“What’s the matter?”

“The boss somehow got hold of a phone and contacted me. Are you okay on your end?”

“I’m fine. Did you tell anyone else?”

“I did. I told them not to answer if they saw that number.”

Wait—Wang Heng, what are you saying?

Why wouldn’t you answer my call and instead call Ying Yusheng?

“Good. Don’t get involved, and don’t say anything.”

“Mm, we know. You helped us when we needed money most—we all remember your kindness.” Wang Heng paused hesitantly before continuing, “But Brother Sheng, this… this isn’t a solution either. The boss, he…”

Before he could finish, Ying Yusheng hung up.

Xu Nanxiao lowered his head, staring blankly at the phone screen.

The light from the screen blurred before his eyes into a pale, blinding halo. His fingers went stiff, barely feeling the phone’s outline.

Wang Heng’s words—”we all remember your kindness”—drove like an awl, slowly and precisely, into his eardrums, then all the way down, piercing through his chest.

What did that mean? Were all his friends fake?

Were they all eyes and ears planted by Ying Yusheng?

Once that thought surfaced, many details began to connect. Why were they so accomplished yet willing to come to his fledgling club? Why did they always try to build personal friendships with the boss? Why did they always sing Ying Yusheng’s praises in front of him? Why did they never oppose his opinions or speak ill of him…

Wang Heng, Lingling, A-Long, Tengzi—those regulars were all paid employees. No wonder every time he got a little close to someone, the smile on Ying Yusheng’s face would fade just a notch. He had thought he was being paranoid.

His stomach churned, nausea rising so hard his throat tightened.

If he could still meet Ying Yusheng’s betrayal with fury and grief, now he felt only absurdity.

So the warmth of their gatherings, the jokes and laughter of everyday life, the concern when he was feeling down—all of it had been practiced against a paycheck.

He had always thought that at least out there, in the eyes of those club people, he was still a person—a boss who could drink together, curse together, someone with some skill and some misfortune.

Now Ying Yusheng had effortlessly torn away that last fig leaf. Those “brothers and friends” were all mannequins in a shop window, and he was the only fool who had gone up to warm himself, actually believing it was real.

This room, this person before him, and his fucking life—Ying Yusheng had welded it all shut, airtight.

After putting down his phone, Ying Yusheng saw Xu Nanxiao’s dazed expression. He smiled slightly, then propped his chin on his hand and said, “Go on, Nan Xiao. Who else are you going to call?”

He had cut ties with his parents, had no siblings, the first person he ever loved had been a bastard, and his few friends were all fake—who else could he call?

In his desperation, a number he had repeatedly blocked, tried to forget, yet had etched deep into his memory, surfaced in his mind.

Xu Nanxiao’s fingers trembling, he dialed Lu Yingjie.

The phone rang once—it felt like an eternity—

“Hello, the number you have dialed is not in service. Please check and try again.”

“Sorry, the number you dialed does not exist. Please check it and dial later.”

That’s right. Lu Yingjie had already gone abroad.

He had known that.

[I’m sorry… I don’t know how to say this. Sixteen years we’ve known each other—how could I… you must have put in a lot of effort to find all that evidence.]

[It’s nothing. Mostly I relied on Auntie Ying’s connections. It’s normal that you suspected me—those pieces of evidence did point to me. My purchase history, my clothing style, my behavior patterns… Ying Yusheng had them all figured out perfectly. And in the end, I did do it.]

[That wasn’t…]

[…]

[…]

[Yingjie, are you… still going abroad? Ha, what am I saying—you’re going abroad to study, that’s great, haha. What I meant was, are you coming back?]

[No, I can’t face you, Ge.]

[I don’t blame you anymore… What’s wrong? Hey, don’t cry. Ge was wrong, I’m sorry—please stop crying.]

Lu Yingjie’s tears dripped one by one into Xu Nanxiao’s heart, carving out deep craters.

[It’s my own problem, Nanxiao Ge. Haha, I’m a bastard, aren’t I? I’m the one who did wrong, yet I’m the one who’s hurting so much I feel like I’m dying.]

Seeing Xu Nanxiao slowly place the phone face-down, Ying Yusheng stood up and walked toward him. “Done calling? Then—”

As Ying Yusheng approached, Xu Nanxiao raised his hand and delivered a vicious slap, sending Ying Yusheng staggering two steps back—he had to grab the table to steady himself.

Then blood began to trickle from his nose.

Ying Yusheng paused, but didn’t get angry. As if he couldn’t feel pain, he numbly wiped the blood away with the back of his hand, but only smeared it further, making it look even more stark and terrifying against his pale skin.

“Ying Yusheng, what the hell did I ever do to you?” Xu Nanxiao hung his head, clutching it as he shouted. “Are you determined to ruin my entire life?!”

Ying Yusheng, who had remained calm all along, suddenly struck. He seized Xu Nanxiao’s wrist. Xu Nanxiao tried to shake him off, but perhaps it was because his body hadn’t moved much for too long, his muscles somewhat atrophied—he couldn’t break free even using both hands and feet.

“Nan Xiao, how can you say that?” Ying Yusheng lifted Xu Nanxiao’s head with his other hand, his lower-than-normal body temperature sending a shiver through Xu Nanxiao.

He forced Xu Nanxiao to tilt his face upward, neck stretched to its limit. Xu Nanxiao felt as if his head were a mushroom about to be uprooted.

“Was it my fault you were born into that family? Was it my fault you killed my brother? Was it my fault you got fired from job after job? Did I hold a knife to Lu Yingjie’s throat and force him to cry and tell you he was wronged—and force you to cut ties with him?”

“No…”

Ying Yusheng stared unblinkingly into Xu Nanxiao’s eyes and sighed softly: “Haven’t you grown up yet? Don’t blame your own life on other people.”

Through Ying Yusheng’s bottomless pupils, Xu Nanxiao seemed to see a magnificent curtain fall away, revealing the dirty lining beneath. Shabby, unsightly, as if it had been shameful from the very start.

Under the fierce psychological assault, Xu Nanxiao opened his mouth. With a faint “click,” his rationality finally hit zero.

A gurgling sound came from his throat, as if his neck had been viciously pierced. That ever-straight spine collapsed from the shoulder line. First, two tears spilled from the corners of his eyes, then they came pouring out in a flood—he finally broke down sobbing.

The room echoed with Xu Nanxiao’s anguished cries.

At this, Ying Yusheng’s heart softened again.

He gently pulled Xu Nanxiao into his arms, stroking his hair in a soothing rhythm.

“It’s okay to cry it out, Nan Xiao. Don’t be sad—you still have me. I will never, ever abandon you.” He patted Xu Nanxiao’s back and cooed softly. “It’s okay if you hate me. It’s okay if you want to kill me. No matter where you are, just call me, and I will always, always come.”

“So please—don’t ever say you want to leave me again.”

Author’s note:
Ying Yusheng is actually a Cthulhu-style [Cthulhu is a cosmic entity from H.P. Lovecraft’s horror stories—an ancient, incomprehensible, eldritch god-like being whose very existence drives humans insane just by perceiving it.] top—dating him makes you lose SAN points (no, not really).