SATURDAY 84

Father passed away in vain. The cause of death was cardiac arrest due to pulmonary edema. They had said he was recovering and in very good condition, but he suddenly took a turn for the worse and passed away before anyone could do a thing.

When I arrived at the hospital, CPR was already being performed; the medical staff pressed down on his chest with the machine so forcefully that Father’s face and stomach swelled up, but in the end, his heartbeat did not return. Since the relatives had already left, the doctor pronounced him dead in the presence of Uncle and me.

We requested an autopsy and it was carried out immediately, but there were no particular findings in the results. To put it precisely, they said that reducing the diuretics once he entered the recovery phase was one of the factors. However, it was part of the treatment and his body had been responding well to it. It seemed difficult to say that the diuretics were the direct cause of death.

It felt strange. While preparing for the funeral, I felt surprisingly fine, yet on the other hand, I felt as if a part of the world was collapsing. Mother fainted and could not get up from her bed.

Once the autopsy was finished, we hastily set up the funeral parlor. It was decided that the funeral would be a five-day company funeral. Since there was actually nothing I could do… Mr. Taeseon and Uncle took charge of all the important tasks. A funeral committee from the company joined them quickly, and before long, the relatives came rushing in as well.

Mr. Taeseon and I took on the role of chief mourners together. This was because Mother was in a state where she couldn’t even come down to the parlor.

I didn’t know a funeral could be this busy. During my own funeral held previously, I hadn’t known anything about the situation outside because I had been cooped up in the chief mourner’s room.

The relatives and the funeral committee were all incredibly busy—sorting through the pouring wreaths and condolence money, attending to mourners that Mr. Taeseon and I couldn’t handle alone, guiding the limousine buses flocking from all over the country, and directing traffic within the parlor.

In the chief mourner’s room, three large beds, a plush sofa, and a space to rest were neatly prepared, but let alone a bed, there wasn’t even a spare moment to sit on the floor.

Perhaps I should say it was thanks to that, but I had no time to grieve Father’s death. I was so busy and distracted that no other thoughts could squeeze in. Forgetting even the exhaustion, I just moved like a machine, not knowing how time was passing.

Then, around dawn, it was when the flow of guests had ceased. I blinked, and when I came to my senses, Mr. Taeseon was holding onto me.

“…Ah….”

“Go inside and rest for a bit. I’ll stay here.”

“No, I’m okay.”

“You’re not okay. Your face is pale. Come here.”

There were many people in the parlor besides us. I was a bit concerned about Mr. Taeseon’s behavior, but come to think of it, we were a couple soon to be married—close enough for Mr. Taeseon to take on the role of chief mourner by my side. No one thought it strange that Mr. Taeseon was taking care of me as I stumbled.

Mr. Taeseon took me into the chief mourner’s room, removed my tie and jacket, unbuttoned about two buttons of my dress shirt, and laid me on the bed. Even though I had said I was okay, it felt like my whole body was melting the moment I actually lay down.

“Do you want to sleep a bit? I’ll come to wake you up in about two hours.”

“I’m all right, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep….”

“Then let’s stay together for a moment. Given the hour, there won’t be many mourners, and someone will come to let us know if an important guest arrives anyway.”

I nodded quietly. The area near the altar was silent, but the noise of guests staying late could be heard from the dining area. It was actually better than it being too quiet.

Father’s death was sudden, and because he was at the young age of only fifty, the atmosphere of the parlor was gloomy. Moreover, it was even more so because he had passed away abruptly at a stage where they said he only needed to recover. Mother, unable to withstand the shock, remains asleep while continuously receiving sedatives.

Following Inha, even Father…. Furthermore, Mother is in a situation where she cannot even attend the funeral due to her serious injuries. And I….

‘How am I.’

As Mr. Taeseon slowly stroked my hair, he also lightly released his pheromones. I felt my racing heart gradually calm down.

Father died. My memories of Father are similar to those of Mother.

Mother was more blind in her devotion to the Shaman, but it wasn’t as if Father was rational either. However, a few memories remain.

On a day I was lying down all day because I was sick, I opened my eyes in the evening to find Father looking at me.

I was so startled I couldn’t move, but Father placed a child’s nutritional supplement by my bedside.

‘They say it’s good for preventing frequent illnesses.’

He left after saying just that one sentence and checking the fever on my forehead with his large hand.

I wondered if it was a dream, but the supplement remained. I hid it in a drawer and ate it diligently every day. While I was taking that supplement, the headaches and fevers that used to visit every other day, and the colds I caught every few days, truly lost their momentum.

To Father, who was the head of a conglomerate, a single child’s supplement likely meant nothing. No, perhaps because it meant so little, it might have been even harder for him to prepare.

Besides that, there were a few times when Father treated me like a “father.” Just as Mother had.

Perhaps that was the reason I couldn’t bear to let go of Mother and Father even now. Ah, and, the cream.

“Cream….”

“Cream? A cream bread? Do you want to eat one? Shall I go buy some.”

At Mr. Taeseon’s words, I let out a stifled laugh.

“No. When I was young, maybe around twelve…. my hands used to get very chapped when winter came. But Father saw that and applied hand cream to my hands once. I liked it very much because Father’s hands touched mine.”

“….”

“Now that he’s passed away, I remember them one by one. The memories of him being kind to me….”

“Inyoung.”

I turned my head. Mr. Taeseon was staring at me fixedly, then he leaned down and gave me a short kiss on the lips. Startled, I looked toward the outside, but fortunately, the bed is in the inner part of the chief mourner’s room, and since the lights were off, it didn’t seem likely we’d be seen from the outside.

“Inyoung, there’s something you need to know.”

“Yes…?”

“I don’t want to ruin the good memories you have. But you must keep this in mind. What you received was kindness.”

“Kindness?”

“Yes. And kindness is not something a parent gives to a child. A parent should love their child; they shouldn’t just be kind occasionally. Because kindness is something you can bestow even upon a cute little kid you meet on the street.”

“….”

“Do you understand?”

Kindness…. something that can be bestowed upon anyone.

My head felt like it was going blank. The actions I thought were done “like a mother” or “like a father.” Hearing Mr. Taeseon’s words, those were all things that could be labeled as kindness. Even the act of hugging me only two or three times until now.

Just then, Uncle knocked on the door of the chief mourner’s room and asked from the doorway.

“May I come in, General Manager?”

“No, I’ll come out. What is it?”

“The eldest aunt has just arrived….”

At those words, I tried to get up as well. My eldest aunt lived in California. It seemed she had flown over immediately.

I raised my body to go out too, but Mr. Taeseon lightly pushed my shoulder to lay me back down and even spread the blanket to cover my body.

“Sleep until 6 o’clock. I’ll come to wake you up then.”

“Pardon? It’s only 2 o’clock now.”

“It’s a five-day funeral. Even the chief mourner won’t be able to hold out if they don’t sleep at dawn. I’ll be coming in to sleep soon too, so just stay asleep. All right?”

The moment I heard that, my eyelids grew heavy as if a spell had been cast. Mr. Taeseon patted me and stood up.

I lightly grabbed the hem of Mr. Taeseon’s pants.

“Hmm? What is it.”

“Leave the door open when you go…. I’m scared to sleep alone.”

“You’re like a baby, our Inyoung.”

Mr. Taeseon said that with a laugh, sat back down to lightly kiss my cheek and forehead, then straightened his clothes and left. As the door to the chief mourner’s room opened, light and noise from outside leaked in, and I heard the sound of the doorstop being set so it wouldn’t close.

No sooner had the door opened than I heard the sound of my eldest aunt entering while wailing. It seemed Uncle had come to let us know the moment the aunt got out at the parking lot.

“Oh my, what on earth happened, Brother, how could this be, oh my….”

The eldest aunt was one year younger than Father. One might think they got along well since they were siblings born a year apart, but in reality, Father and his siblings were not on very good terms. It would be a strange family if their relationship didn’t sour during a management rights dispute. Furthermore, Father, as the eldest son, eventually took over the successor position.

The only sibling Father doted on was the youngest, Uncle Chaein, who was almost as far apart in age as a child. Even so, would the sudden death of a sibling be sad news…. Uncle’s words came to mind—that the relatives had subtly looked disappointed in the hospital room. Perhaps they were just pretending to be sad. It’s so bitter to think that way.

I didn’t think I would be able to sleep, but before I knew it, I was asleep.

When I woke up, it was when I thought I had just closed and opened my eyes for a moment. Someone was lightly holding my arm and calling my name, “Inyoung.”

“Mmm….”

Opening my eyes slightly, I saw Mr. Taeseon. He looked perfectly neat, as if he had just come from the office.

“…What time is it?”

“It’s just past five, but I think you need to get up for a moment.”

“Mmm…?”

Mr. Taeseon spoke while deeply furrowing his brow.

“Shin Myeonghwa and Jang Sehyeon are here.”