SATURDAY 22

I doubted my ears. I hadn’t even imagined such words would come out of the Professor’s mouth. With Mr. Taeseon, I mean… whether I could sleep with him?

I barely managed to regain my composure. Thinking rationally, the answer was ‘no’. I had shared a relationship with him many times until now, but not anymore. That was why the inhibitors were even more necessary.

“U-until now… we had a relationship.”

“Right. With ‘Yoon Inyoung’, that is. Haha, I didn’t see Managing Director Lee that way, but he’s a man of quick action. Inyoung is only twenty-two years old. Almost as soon as you became an adult… wasn’t it?”

That was true, but I didn’t want to ramble on about how our first time happened because my heat cycle suddenly arrived out of sync and it couldn’t be helped, or how we naturally came to share our bodies after that. I simply kept my mouth shut.

“Then you’ll need inhibitors all the more…. Now, what is the answer to the question the Professor asked?”

“That… I’m not really sure, to be honest. But Mr. Taeseon hates Inha very much.”

“How much?”

“….”

“No, never mind. I can tell by your expression.”

The Professor seemed to notice immediately upon seeing my face, which had frozen in an instant. How much? The answer was simple. Enough to want to kill him. Sleeping with someone like that was out of the question.

Also, I… didn’t want it either. For Mr. Taeseon to sleep with someone he believes is Inha. That was the same as Mr. Taeseon accepting Inha.

‘…Ah.’

I realized one thing there. In Mr. Taeseon’s attitude toward Inha, I was feeling relieved.

It is painful, as if I am the one directly suffering. But on the other hand, I feel relieved by the fact that he hasn’t forgotten me yet and still hates Inha. I was truly a ridiculous and strange person.

“In any case, you’ll definitely need the inhibitors.”

“Yes.”

Mr. Taeseon and I were living together, and even his rut was approaching. In fact, it wasn’t his exact cycle right now. His rut originally came in sync with my heat. Perhaps this time, the rut was triggered by his unstable mental state. Ruts and heats can sometimes occur when one feels severe anxiety.

In such a situation, inhibitors were essential. If you take strong inhibitors, your body becomes no different from a Beta. No matter how much an Alpha is in rut, they do not feel sexual desire for a Beta.

So to speak, it was the same as being with an inanimate object. It was an extreme expression, but it really was like that.

One might think that during a rut, an Alpha would blindly try to release their sexual desire on anything, but because they react more sensitively to pheromones during a rut, a Beta who lacks pheromones isn’t even seen as a partner.

It’s a bit different from when an Omega is in heat… but anyway, that’s how Alphas were.

“Shall I prescribe them a bit strong? There will be side effects, will you be okay?”

“If it’s side effects….”

“Inhibitors are all similar. Depression, lethargy, helplessness, headaches, loss of appetite, nausea, and dizziness.”

Inhibitors regulate the hormones that move the pheromone glands. Medicine that meddles with the hormones in the body is bound to cause all sorts of side effects. Some types of Alpha and Omega contraceptives also have terrible side effects. It was usually Mr. Taeseon who took the contraceptives for us.

‘…Mr. Taeseon, isn’t it hard to always take medicine?’

At my words, the image of Mr. Taeseon looking back while taking his medicine came to mind. He set down the water glass, approached me, and gently stroked my hair.

‘Hard? What’s hard about it.’

‘Still…. there are a lot of side effects. Should I take them instead?’

‘Nonsense. I can’t stand to see that.’

‘See, it is hard.’

Mr. Taeseon lifted me up and spun me around once. Before I knew it, a whoops sound escaped me, and I felt slightly dizzy. Just like that, one more turn. After spinning me around in place about three times, he plopped me down on the bed.

‘Dizzy?’

‘….’

I was indeed dizzy. Even though I was lying on the bed, the world seemed to be spinning. I became short of breath. When I closed my eyes in that state, Mr. Taeseon approached again with a worried look. He rubbed my cheek and kissed me lightly. Even though I was dizzy and disoriented, laughter burst out.

‘This is nothing…. it happens all the time.’

At my unintentional words, I felt Mr. Taeseon’s expression harden. When I opened my eyes, as expected, Mr. Taeseon was looking at me with a face full of worry.

‘…Why?’

‘Your body is too weak, Inyoung. I’m always worried.’

‘….’

‘That’s why I’m the one taking the medicine. Because I’m healthy.’

I stared up at Mr. Taeseon and then pulled his cheek slightly. At that, Mr. Taeseon smiled again and showered me with kisses…. The sound of Mr. Taeseon’s and my laughter lingered in my ears.

“Inyoung?”

“Ah, ah…. I’m sorry, I was just thinking about something else for a moment….”

“You don’t seem to be able to focus well. What about your usual medication? Have you taken it all?”

“Ah, yes. I’ve taken it all.”

I have been receiving prescriptions for various medications from Professor Jang. Among them was a mild stabilizer that the professor could prescribe. It was medicine for me, as my heart beats fast and I get nervous easily when I feel anxious.

“Then I’ll prescribe that too. And some painkillers.”

“Yes.”

“Also… I’ll give you one more medicine, and you can take this only in a real emergency. The yellow pill is just for when your heat cycle comes. And for dangerous situations….”

As he spoke, the Professor glanced at me. A dangerous situation. Perhaps, Mr. Taeseon is nearby and his rut has come, and my cycle has started too, with no time to escape. That kind of emergency.

“In that case, take the blue pill I prescribed separately. Got it? You mustn’t get them mixed up.”

“Yes.”

It seemed it was a stronger inhibitor. I didn’t ask in detail what kind of medicine it was. Seeing that the Professor didn’t explain it separately, it wasn’t a very dangerous drug.

“Is your arm all better?”

“Yes, it’s fine now.”

Fortunately, the arm wasn’t a big deal; the pain started to fade in less than a week, and it was completely healed before two weeks had passed. The brace, which had made me feel embarrassed and sorry in front of Mr. Taeseon for no reason, was shoved into a corner of the drawer after only four days.

Though Mr. Taeseon himself seemed to pay it no mind.

“Do you want to go up to a ward and get an IV before you go? Your face looks terrible.”

“Ah….”

It was true that I was tired. I wondered if it was to the point of needing an IV, but when I tried to refuse, the Professor shook his head firmly and wouldn’t back down, insisting that I must get it before leaving. I had no choice but to go up to the ward.

The Professor followed me up and watched the nurse who was setting up my IV. The nurse skillfully found a vein—all of which had hidden away because I’d been stuck with IVs and needles so much—and inserted the needle. After the sharp needle was withdrawn and only the silicone tube remained, tape was plastered all over it.

The IV was a familiar nutritional supplement and headache medicine in a small pack. I’d had a headache since a few days ago, but I don’t know how the Professor knew.

“This is an injection to calm the nausea.”

The nurse spoke kindly as she injected the medicine into the connection of the IV pack, then gathered her tray and left.

“…How did you know I wasn’t feeling well?”

Headaches and nausea always follow me around. They were particularly bad these last few days, but I didn’t specifically mention it to the Professor. I thought since I received painkillers, I just had to take those. The Professor looked at me with his hands in both pockets of his short gown.

“Do you think I don’t know you, Inyoung?”

“….”

Hearing him call me “Inyoung” strangely tickled my chest. Because now, the only people who call me Inyoung are the Shaman and the Professor.

“You hate it, don’t you? ‘Inha’ and Managing Director Lee Taeseon sleeping together.”

“….”

‘Inha’ also referred to me. At any rate, we were getting married soon and were already living together. About three weeks had flown by, and now the wedding was just around the corner. The honeymoon had been canceled because Mr. Taeseon said he was busy.

However, after the wedding ceremony and as time passed, people would wonder why no child was being conceived.

I hate it.

This body belonged to Inha. My body has already become ashes and is buried under a tree. I didn’t want to sleep with Mr. Taeseon in Inha’s body. Fortunately, Mr. Taeseon seemed to think so as well.

I marveled again at the Professor who spoke as if he had seen through everything.

“Yes, honestly, I hate it….”

“But as you become more like Inha, that thought will change. You will probably want to sleep with the Managing Director with the heart of ‘Yoon Inyoung’, thinking about what it matters.”

“….”

“You can’t ignore the instincts engraved in the spirit either. Inyoung, the Shaman said it, right? That she would leave a little bit of ‘Yoon Inyoung’ inside you.”

“…Yes.”

“Think of it as being with the Managing Director as that ‘Yoon Inyoung’. That will be easier for you.”

“….”

“The nurse will bring the medicine. Don’t go to the reception, just leave. Got it?”

“Yes.”

My voice as I answered could only grow smaller and smaller.