SATURDAY 17

The breath that had been blocked popped—tak—and opened up, but breathing did not become easy all at once. As if my face were submerged deep in water while breathing through a tiny tube in my mouth, the thought that I might not be able to breathe anymore and that I might lose the tube and sink into the water dominated my mind.

Once again, a vast darkness closed in. My field of vision narrowed as if covered in black spiderwebs, and tears welled up. My heart beat as fast as if I had been running. I wondered if it might burst right through my chest.

Like that for about ten minutes…. Mr. Taeseon watched me intently with his hand braced beside my head. Strangely, that cold gaze became a comfort. At the very least, if I die—if it looks like I’m dying—there is someone who will call an ambulance. That became the strength to overcome the terror of death that I could neither control nor do anything about.

By the time the panic had mostly subsided, the tip of my nose moved involuntarily. I wasn’t stabilized just by the fact that Mr. Taeseon was there. Mr. Taeseon was releasing a thin layer of pheromones. It wasn’t the angry pheromones from before, but a gentle scent that stabilized the other person.

Mr. Taeseon’s expression was complex. It seemed as if he were looking at “Yoon Inyoung” through me, “Yoon Inha.” In other words, he was looking at me. My lover, my husband, my family.

Unwittingly, my body leaned forward. Mr. Taeseon, who had me trapped between his arms, was very close. My head tilted slowly, as if I had lost my own will. Until it touched Mr. Taeseon’s lips.

“….”

“…Ugh!”

With a thud, I was pushed away and hit my head and body against the car window again. My body, pushed with strong force, bounced once and ended up leaning against the glass.

Mr. Taeseon wiped his lips with the back of his hand, paying no mind to me. He had an expression as if he had suffered a great insult. Or, he looked as though he had touched something filthy.

Only then did I realize what I had done. A kiss, with Yoon Inha’s body, to Mr. Taeseon. Goosebumps broke out all over me.

“I-I’m sorry.”

When I apologized instinctively, Mr. Taeseon glared at me coldly.

“Try some disgusting stunt like this again. See what happens.”

“….”

“Even your hand touching me makes my skin crawl.”

Upon hearing that, my head lowered naturally. No matter how much I tell myself these are words directed at Inha, the fact that I am the one hearing them does not change. It felt as if my heart were shriveling up because it felt like the words were meant for me.

“You’ve lost a bit of your spirit, at least.”

“….”

My spirit had been gone for a long time. After all, I could never have the same confidence as Inha. I don’t know how it looks in Mr. Taeseon’s eyes…. Does he just think I’m trying to imitate myself?

I remembered what Mr. Taeseon said earlier. That it would be better to stay sullen. He doesn’t want to show a happy Inha in front of people. And himself as well.

He probably wants to be seen as someone marrying out of necessity because it’s his dead partner’s sibling.

Mr. Taeseon adjusted his slightly disheveled hair and clothes using the mirror on the sun visor. As he did so, he glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. It seemed to mean, “Fix your appearance too.”

I smoothed my hair and, looking at the side window of the car, retied my crumpled and crooked ribbon tie. I unbuttoned the collar of my shirt that came up to the middle of my neck and was startled. It was because the marks from where Mr. Taeseon had strangled me earlier remained clearly as bruises.

Fortunately, the design of the clothes almost covered my neck. I doubt Mr. Taeseon told me to wear this outfit knowing it would turn out like this, though. After tying the ribbon and neatly straightening the thick outer garment I wore against the river breeze of the Han River, I looked at Mr. Taeseon.

“Shall we go. The time is getting tight.”

He, too, was in perfect form. We got out of the car. I waited reflexively, but there was no way Mr. Taeseon would open the door for me like he did when I was Inyoung. While walking from the parking lot toward the pier, a cold river breeze whipped against us even though the sun was still up.

The ship was docked at the pier. In front of the ship decorated with plenty of lights, I could see the cruise ship management staff and party staff in suits standing to greet people.

It was enough to invite Mr. Taeseon and me—no, Inha. Most of the guests appearing occasionally were familiar faces; even if I hadn’t seen them in person, they were people I had seen on the news, current affairs programs, or entertainment segments.

The reason I hadn’t seen them in person was that I rarely went to parties. Even if I did go, I would stay far away from Inha, stuck to a wall where people didn’t go. The only time I went to parties was when there was a “Misfortune Spirit” that needed to be dispersed by going to a crowded place.

Since I didn’t need to converse with people, I hid in a corner so as not to accidentally pass my misfortune onto others.

After coming back from such trips, the misfortune that had befallen me would only retreat after the Bodhisattva performed an exorcism dance all night long. It was something that had to be done because keeping the misfortune would affect Inha and the family.

Come to think of it, this was the first party I was attending without such things. I wondered if I might be able to talk to people a little, but with my personality, what talk? To avoid getting caught that Yoon Inha is acting strange, it would be better to just stay quietly by Mr. Taeseon’s side with a smile on my face. No, would it be better to act like I’m in a bad mood?

“Come closer.”

“Ah….”

His words about his skin crawling if I touched him came to mind. However, the boarding ramp was getting close. I carefully placed both hands on Mr. Taeseon’s arm. Mr. Taeseon must have noticed that both my hands were trembling, but no reaction came back.

As we approached the pier, a staff member who seemed to have memorized all the guests’ faces—though there is likely no one in Korea who doesn’t know Mr. Taeseon’s face anyway—greeted us politely and guided us inside the ship.

The guests who had already arrived saw the two of us and swarmed toward us. Forgetting to either smile or look displeased, I bit my lip in nervousness. Strength went into the hand holding Mr. Taeseon’s arm without me realizing it.

“Mr. Inha, are you okay? You’ve gotten much better, right?”

“It’s such a relief. They said it almost turned into something terrible.”

“They say the aftereffects of traffic accidents are severe, so I’m worried….”

At that moment, Mr. Taeseon quietly let go of my hand as if shaking it off. Having lost the only straw I was holding onto in my nervous state, I looked up at him in fluster.

Mr. Taeseon didn’t even give me a glance and only said to the gathered people, “I have some business over there for a moment.” His large back as he strode away toward “over there” felt heartless right now. Even though I knew it was only natural.

Left alone, the people didn’t care and threw questions at me. They poured in so fast I couldn’t even distinguish who was asking what. I moved my mouth awkwardly. I heard the questions, but the answers just circled inside my mouth and wouldn’t come out properly.

“Ah…. I’ve gotten much better. They say there won’t be aftereffects, and the terrible thing….”

For a moment, a silence passed over the surroundings. The terrible thing—I stopped just before saying the next words. I felt my expression harden involuntarily. The terrible thing happened to my brother. Because he died. And everyone here knows that fact.

But no one wanted that story to come out.

Because the one who died was Yoon Inyoung….

“Actually….”

Breaking the silence, a Beta woman in a blue dress standing in front spoke. What was her name? Like a typical Beta woman, she was someone with a close friendship with Inha, who was an Omega. She continued.

“I honestly think it turned out well. You, Inha, you wanted to marry the General Manager, didn’t you?”

“….”

Startled, I looked at the woman. She shrugged and went on speaking.

“Yoon Inyoung didn’t suit the General Manager anyway, right? He was gloomy and depressed. They say even until he died, he kept saying you pushed him… Why on earth did he do that?”

“…Don’t worry about that.”

“Sigh, well, what’s the point in worrying about a dead kid.”

I remembered the Beta woman’s name. Kim Sunkyung. She was the youngest daughter of Deajong, a construction company, and the only one among the four siblings in that family born as a Beta without a secondary gender. It comes back to me belatedly that she didn’t like me very much.

Thinking about it, she was just suppressed by Inha’s personality, but she occasionally showed her inferiority complex.

People looked around at each other’s reactions. There were those who thought such words were a bit much, and those who seemed to think she was right. However, no one was in a position to speak up hastily.

I chose the right words.

“Sunkyung. Even so, to me, a twin brother has died; you’re speaking too lightly.”

“…What?”

Kim Sunkyung flared up.

“Ha, unbelievable. You said it too, that Yoon Inyoung was so annoying you wished he’d just die.”