SATURDAY 45

Perhaps she would have thrown her teacup, asking if this was really a situation where I should be staying calm. Regarding the miscarriage, she probably would have jumped up and down, asking how I could be such a cold-blooded person. No… in the first place, maybe she wouldn’t have even visited the house just because I had miscarried.

Is that why? This discomfort I’ve been feeling for a while now.

“Yes, are you hurt anywhere? They said you bled a lot. Why didn’t you contact Mother sooner that day? If something like that happened, you should have called immediately.”

“…I thought you would worry.”

“My goodness, how can you say such a thing! If a mother doesn’t worry about her son, who will!”

Those are words meant for Inha. If the subject were changed, it would be different. But that is something as natural and familiar as breathing. Why feel this way now? After being treated as Inha for a while, has the reality of my past situation finally sunk in again?

Mother spoke.

“The wedding will have to be postponed for a long time. Right? Director Lee will agree too. How can you have a wedding when your body is in this state…. Let’s take this opportunity to find a new venue and prepare everything all over again. What do you think, baby?”

Mother still occasionally called the twenty-two-year-old Inha “baby.” Inha always detested it, but I had wanted to be called that by Mother at least once.

Setting down her teacup, Mother took my hand with her slightly warmed hand, then looked startled and gripped my fingertips tightly.

“Goodness, look at how cold these hands are. Truly, what should I do? Is Director Lee taking good care of you? Yes, I must get you a batch of medicine. You’re supposed to take herbal medicine after a miscarriage. Mother will look for a good place and have it made for you.”

Come to think of it, Inha never had cold hands like mine. I remember them always being warm whenever our hands happened to touch.

Once, Inha had intentionally grabbed my hand. After squeezing my ice-cold hand, he smirked and said, “You really look like a corpse.” And for a while, he called me a corpse.

As I sat there blankly, Mother shook the hand she was holding and called me, “Inha.” For a moment, a sickening chill ran through me, but I forced a smile and answered.

“I understand. Please take care of it, Mother.”

That medicine would likely be tailored to Inha’s constitution, and even if she brought it, I have no intention of taking it. If Mr. Taeseon found out Mother had brought it, he would probably throw it straight out.

There was no need to answer like that. I can’t even fathom how much trouble would brew if I didn’t. I thought to myself that I should ensure the staff keep their mouths shut.

Mother kept stroking my cheek, making a fuss about how pitiful and heartbreaking I was. If it were really Inha here, he would have slapped Mother’s hand away and snapped at her to stop.

Because Inha was someone who took the love Mother gave for granted, he could act that way. I could never do that.

Thinking about how I am currently “Yoon Inha,” I should either push Mother away or stand up abruptly to avoid her, but I couldn’t. It was because Mother’s attention and affection were so sweet.

“It’s okay, Inha. Another baby will… Kyaak!”

Mother, who was about to say something like “you’ll have another one,” reflexively turned her gaze and shrieked. Startled by Mother’s scream, I looked where she was staring, and there was Lili, sitting tucked into a tight ball under the table with his eyes flashing.

“Li, Lili.”

“Kka-ak.”

Placing a hand on her chest as if to steady her startled heart, Mother stared at Lili for a long time before letting out a sigh.

“…Is this that cat Inyoung was going to raise? Did you absolutely have to bring it here?”

“I was told it would be euthanized if I didn’t.”

At that, Mother looked at me for a moment. She tilted her head with an expression as if she didn’t quite understand. Only then did I realize I had said something unnecessary. Inha wouldn’t care whether it was euthanized or not.

“Come here, Lili.”

I reached out and called him, but instead of coming closer, Lili puffed up his body and tail and continued to glare at Mother. Mother made an unpleasant face.

“Really, cats are just creepy. Even if it was euthanasia, that’s just that cat’s fate; did you really have to bring it along?”

I wasn’t sure how Inha would have responded. After pondering for a moment, I found a suitable answer.

“Mr. Taeseon wanted to bring him. He takes care of everything even now. Also… it reminds me of Inyoung.”

At my words, Mother looked horrified.

“Inha! Why would you think of Inyoung? You shouldn’t think of the dead carelessly! Besides, a kid like Inyoung!”

“….”

I inadvertently stared at Mother with a blank face.

“This whole thing is like that too; you ended up this way because you were constantly stressed over that child’s business. Who was Inyoung that you keep thinking about the dead Inyoung?”

I don’t know. Inha tried to kill me; he wasn’t the type of person to get stressed over my death….

I blinked slowly. Mother’s words pricked my heart. To have to hear such things even after death, Yoon Inyoung. Well, would they give me after death what they didn’t give me while I was alive? It’s only natural.

A dark thought suddenly surfaced. Why did I struggle so hard when I was “alive” if this was how it was going to be.

I had never harbored such a feeling until now. When Mr. Taeseon had told me several times—your family is strange, they’re wrong, let’s get away—I felt in my head that his words were right, but in the end, I couldn’t give up on my parents’ love.

My parents didn’t always just hate me. Occasionally, very rarely, there were times when they treated me as if I were also their child. It was truly a rare occurrence.

Those few experiences fueled the desire within me to be loved by my parents. It was both kindling and oil.

“Inyoung is….”

I quietly murmured my own name. But before I could even finish the sentence, Mother frowned anxiously and grabbed my hand.

“Inha, stop talking about Inyoung. I suspect Inyoung is clinging to you. I haven’t been able to confirm it with the Shaman yet, but you are definitely acting strange. Constantly behaving like Inyoung.”

“….”

“That child Inyoung was born having stolen everything from you from the very beginning. That’s how greedy a child he is. How strong must his lingering attachment to life be? Do you think he wouldn’t covet your body?”

“Mother….”

“Mother is worried, regardless. I’ll ask the Shaman, so Inha, let’s have an exorcism once. Hmm?”

“The Shaman….”

What would Mother say if she knew that the Shaman knows I am actually Yoon Inyoung, and has been deceiving everyone by saying I am “possessed by the soul of Yoon Inha”?

How would Mother react if she knew the Shaman sprinkled red beans and salt on me every few days, calling it a purification rite, while saying at the end that she would leave Yoon Inyoung’s soul in this body as well?

She would be shocked, or feel betrayed.

Even those words from the Shaman were a lie. No, everything was closer to a show. The Shaman and the Professor were plotting something and disguised me as Inha. They completely deceived my parents, who believed Inha was alive.

The reason I look like Inha in the eyes of Mother and the rest of the family is probably… because of that water I drank while my consciousness was hazy.

Lili was still glaring at Mother from under the table. To me, he still looked like a kitten, but he was a respectable four-kilogram-plus cat. He was too large for a fearful Mother to kick or hit. Mother hunched her shoulders uncomfortably and turned her gaze away from Lili.

“Kya-ang.”

“Can’t you put that cat away?”

“He doesn’t listen to me very well either…. You know how it is.”

There was no way a normal cat would follow Inha. At my words, Mother looked at me for a moment and said, “I see,” then slumped her shoulders as if relieved for some reason. Then she continued to speak.

“Listen, Inha. About that memorial park where Inyoung is buried. Mother happens to have some connections with a high-ranking person there.”

“…?”

Suddenly, the memorial park where ‘Yoon Inyoung’ is buried? When I widened my eyes, Mother lowered her voice so much that even the staff couldn’t hear.

“Inha, what do you think about Inyoung continuing to be buried there?”

“Pardon…? What do you mean by ‘what do I think’?”

“They say that place is one of the top-tier auspicious sites. Mother finds it unsettling. That Inyoung was buried in such a good spot.”

“….”

“So….”

Surely not.

“I’m thinking of hiring someone to dig up Inyoung’s remains.”